Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Six Qualities of a Great Spouse

by

kiss-old-couple

SIX QUALITIES OF A GREAT SPOUSE by AChuckAllen

I’ve been married to 2 women over a collective 35 years. I’ve seen what death and divorce can do to a family, up close and personal. I have survived blending six daughters, six moves, five career changes, losing everything I own and bouts of depression that have literally crippled me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am not an expert on anything, but I do have an earned Ph.D. in failure at it’s highest level. 

I have five beautiful grandchildren that I desperately want to be more involved with day by day by day. At present, I am a bit of an epic failure as a granddad – I am fixing that starting today! I have six extraordinary daughters, two that are biologically mine and four that are equally mine (at least in my heart and soul). I am beyond blessed to have a loving, godly wife that tolerates all my weirdness and I am honored to serve the greatest church on the planet! I tell you all of this to say that the following six characteristics of a great spouse have a lot of life experience behind them.

So! Here are Six Qualities of an AMAZING SPOUSE:

  1. They know how to listen to you when you are hurting, and they listen to you when you are frustrated. They listen to you when life is awesome and they listen to your dreams…even when they are thinking, “Oh my gosh, that’s such a dumb idea.” They listen when you are winning or losing…they listen!
  2. They always speak positively about you to their family and their friends. When their friends are trashing their spouses in a group chat, they heap praise on their spouse with great pride. If they don’t have much to say in the positive column, they offer kind and gracious words knowing who you really are.
  3. They want to be the first one to say sorry when a spat has occurred. Not because they were wrong or right, but because they want to make things right! Friends, this is the gold standard of spouses. The desire and ability to forgive and move on to more loving moments are amazing qualities. Thanks for that, Jenny!
  4. They always encourage you, even when they are giving you painful advice. Their advice (difficult or simple)  is always founded in love, grace, and kindness. ALWAYS! They know the best way to share fears, concerns, and anxieties by ensuring their spouse that those emotions are about themselves.
  5. They always tell the truth! They never have to sweep the data from their web browser, clean off their text messages, or worry about if their spouse/kids can find them on find-a-friend. They don’t worry about it because there are no secrets other than a birthday, anniversary or Christmas present. They are willing to be held to a great degree of accountability because they are not afraid of being “caught” doing something inappropriate. The truth is shared when the news is good and when the news is bad! Tell the Truth!!! Always!!
  6. They want to convey that they value their spouse by treating them as the most valuable part of their lives (outside of the Divine). They seek ways to bless their spouse, praise their spouse. They want their spouse to be Waterford Crystal clear that they are loved more – every single day. They are passionate about their sweetheart knowing they are valued, loved and treasured.

Please do not read these and assume that I have mastered any of these. I do however desire to live these qualities out in my marriage. Frankly, Jenny makes attempting these pretty easy. You see, ten years ago, she rescues my sorry behind. Gosh, we’ve learned a lot! I sure hope these will be an encouragement to you!

–AChuck