Achuckallen

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How Should We Respond to Crisis?

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AChuckAllen | Monday, August 1, 2022

Every week we are bombarded with another crisis. A school shooting, mass shooting, flood, fire, riot, shortage, war, and the hits keep coming.

How can we respond to these crises without remaining angry, bitter, or hardened? How do we hear about more crises without growing jaded or curled up in anxiety? Fair questions for a country that regularly finds its way into trouble.

As a pastor, coach, and counselor, I’ve learned four things that we can all do to respond appropriately to the next crisis.

  1. DON’T CATASTROPHIZE THE CRISIS
    Fight hard not to let your mind convince you that things are far worse than they are. If we aren’t careful, our brain will convince us that we are like our preferred news outlet. We can be so active in telling ourselves that the sky is falling everywhere. We can make every crisis our crisis. Yes, we should be concerned, moved, and burdened, but you cannot own and exasperate every situation. My friend Julie Homrich would say, “don’t believe everything you think.”
  2. ACTIVELY LISTEN
    In most crises, loud voices point fingers, find fault and politicize the situation. Friends, this is not how to help or how to respond. There is a reason our Creator gave us two ears and one mouth. The single best way to respond to a crisis is to exercise your capacity to listen actively. Yes, affirm your connection to those affected. Affirm their heartache or pain, but at all costs, hush and let them speak. Let them find solace in your presence without your words. Keep this in mind. If you don’t know what to say, please don’t throw a catchphrase or random Bible. Verse their way. Just be there and listen. It’s okay to have a ministry of presence. While meeting the wonderful people of Uvalde, Texas, I heard, over and over again, “you are the only people asking us what we need.” In most points of crisis, words are cheap. Listening is golden.
  3. PRAY AND THEN PRAY SOME MORE
    We Americans are such activity-based people. When a hurricane happens, we get out the chain saws and wet vacs. When a shooting happens, we tend to do the same thing. What in the world? Prayer should never be seen as the last resort. Prayer is the single most extraordinary power on earth and requires zero travel! The minute you see or hear of a crisis, start praying. I’ll never forget seeing a horrific auto crash and hopping out of my truck to see if I could help. I got to the driver and realized they were already in the process of bleeding out. An incredible EMT jumped in, and I started praying for this mom out loud in the middle of highway 78. At that moment, the single greatest thing I knew to do was to PRAY! Before I finished, there were more than 20 people that had gathered around and, in their way, joined me in praying. Five days later, I got word that this dear lady had lost her leg, but she had her life and her toddler in the backseat. Prayer works! Pray, and then pray some more!
  4. ACT WITH GRACE AND SERVE WITH HUMILITY Determine not to join the fray and jump on the whiner train. Here is an equation from my friend Brad Rhoads, “Grace + Intentionality = Transformation” grace extends forgiveness and continuously extends a benefit of the doubt. Grace doesn’t blame. It smooths. And here is an authentic truth – WHEN WE EXTEND GRACE, WE SERVE OTHERS WITH HUMILITY!” According to the poster child of humility, Mother Teresa, this is what humility looks like: These are the few ways we can practice humility:
  • To speak as little as possible of one’s self.
  • To mind one’s own business.
  • Not to want to manage other people’s affairs.
  • To avoid busy-body curiosity.
  • To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.
  • To pass over the mistakes of others.
  • To accept insults and injuries.
  • To accept being slighted, forgotten, and disliked.
  • To be kind and gentle even under provocation.
  • Never stand on one’s dignity.
  • To choose is always the hardest. And best.

The evil in this world will continue to be a struggle from now until we reach Heaven’s gates. We will have minimal power over what they might be or where they will happen, but how we act and react to crises is entirely within our power.

Let us be a people that act and react in and through crises with grace, decency, and kindness. The world has a widening depletion of women and men that will respond in love. If we want to improve this world, let us act in these four areas.

Go in Peace, Chuck

A Simple Conversation that Matters

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AChuckAllen

I realize that I’m a bit odd. I mean, I know that I’m weird. First, I’m a pastor that works hard at attempting to be normal. Second, I am allergic to chit-chat. No, really! I would never say that I like chatting in the sense of getting together for no purpose other than a chat.

However, I greatly appreciate a conversation grounded in purpose. Purpose feels like an accomplishment, reasoning, debating, sharpening, or resolving.

That’s why I know that the following conversation is a double win for you and your friend, child, parent, or spouse. Maybe even all the above!

Build these three questions into your daily routine and watch how your relationships improve with each day that you engage your person (s) of choice.

1. Start with YOUR BEST: What’s the best thing that happened yesterday?

2. Then Tackle the Worst. What’s the worst that’s happened (or is happening) today?

3. Then Add Prayer. What can I specifically pray for you today?

Please be sure to keep it simple. Keep it very real. Keep it truthful. Once you commit to asking, be equally committed to answering. Here’s the essential element in this brief, personal, purposeful conversation – actually pray for them!

If you don’t have anyone to have this conversation with, let your prayer be that you’ll discover them this week. In the meantime, feel free to send me an email and answer these questions. I’ll reply with my answers and pray earnestly for you.

Go In Peace, Chuck

Need help? At Clear Path Counseling, we believe that reaching out for help is hard enough; finding it should be straightforward and simple. Just CLICK HERE and start your free assessment. You can finish your complimentary assessment in less than 10-minutes!

ClearPathCounseling.org

9/11 Never Stop Telling the Story

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Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?

This weekend, we Americans remember the tragic loss of life and liberty experienced on 09.11.01.

I recalled walking into the Alpharetta office building, where I worked at that time, and seeing the reports that American Airlines Flight 11 had struck the North Tower at 8:46 am.

By the time that I reached my office, just seventeen minutes later, at 9:03 am, the World Trade Center’s South Tower was hit by United Airlines Flight 175.

Given the degree of hate and division in our country, only 20 years later, I am amazed at our incredibly short memories. On September 12, 2001, we were a country unified in serving one another, caring for our neighbors, and honoring our heroes. I pray that it doesn’t take the great uprising of evil to stir our American hearts toward faith and unity…once again.

I also pray that we will REMEMBER how horrible the pain was, deep in our American souls when we saw people murdered on live television and thousands of family’s futures ripped from them as a result of pure hate.

We must tell the story of why we were attacked, how we were attacked, and the way we responded in the moments following the attack. We must remind our next generations that cannot remember, or did not experience the ache which we all felt.

Country artist, Alan Jackson asked the question, “Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?” Here are the lyrics:

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in L.A.?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Rising against that blue sky?
Did you shout out in anger in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry?
Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don’t know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out with pride for the red, white, and blue
And the heroes who died just doing what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and ask what really matters?

Let us be a people that look at ourselves and ask, what really matters.

Peace, Chuck

WE ARE THE ANTS & Who Shook the Jar?

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June 9, 2021

A young friend of mine (Charlton Clayton) posted an Instagram pic on his wall that reminded me of an old story with a super powerful truth attached to it. It goes like this; If you fill a glass Mason Jar with 100 black ants (think picnic) and 100 red ants (think OUCH!), you now have 200 ants. Here is the non-math part of the story. Those 200 ants get along just fine, living and anting together.

But then some knucklehead comes along and shakes the jar. They don’t shake it vigorously, but they shake it pretty well. The Mason Jar is now shaken, not stirred, but the 200 ants, having been disoriented and “all shaken up,” have picked sides. They are no longer just 200 ants living in harmony. They are now 100 red ants versus 100 black ants. And the peaceful Mason Jar is now a full-on battleground.

If you haven’t figured out the natural correlation to our shaken-up world, let me spell it out for you. You pick the division, and I’ll show you the jar shaker. You determine the problem, and I’ll show you the constant instigators. You point out the divisiveness, and I’ll show you the dividers.

How about this? Let’s get in the mason jar and refuse to be shaken or stirred. Let’s determine that we do not need others to do our thinking or our speaking for us. Let us think and reason on our own. Let us speak on and of our personal convictions and conclusions. Let’s tell the truth, keep no secrets, and respect each other.

Let’s stop the insanity of hate-filled rhetoric that has trickled down with all the gentleness of Niagra Falls onto our children.

I am not suggesting that we hide from the differences and divisions. Let’s face it; we have green ants, brown ants, black ants, mean ants, red ants, fire ants, and flying ants. Did you know that there are more than 12,000 species of ants on this planet? In some ways, they are all living together in a globe-shaped Mason Jar.

They do not need us to teach them how to live and survive. They just need to appreciate all the ants.

Allowing jar-shaking leaders in our churches, courtrooms, classrooms, and chambers should be criminal. Let’s live, lead, teach, serve and parent with a passion for loving one another. I know. What a preacher thing to say? But really, why is this so hard? Little kids playing together couldn’t care less what kind of ant you are. They don’t care if you are a right-wing ant or a moderate ant. They aren’t concerned about if you are a brown ant or a green ant. They do care if you play nicely. It’s a universal action…being nice.

Jesus said, “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.”

He instigated and directed that we first love, then forgive, then love even more. And if we, who claim to be Followers of Jesus are spending more time shaking jars or griping about who shakes the jar, we missed the whole point, didn’t we? Maybe we are spending our time listening to and watching the jar shakers to the point that we don’t recognize the commonalities of all us like ants in the jar anymore?

We are all ants, living in a globe-shaped jar. Stop giving the jar shakers a voice. Give your head and heart to serving the fellow ants in the jar with grace, dignity, kindness, and good old-fashioned love. I think we’ll live in a far better jar.

Peace, Chuck

That’s Ridiculous!

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Let’s get this out of the way early: I love America. I know America isn’t perfect. I know we have a flawed past. I know we have significant issues, but I’m pretty sick of hearing about how terrible we are.

If you are a poor white kid, America is a pretty good place to grow up. If your an affluent Latino kid, America is a pretty great place to grow up. If you are a middle-class black kid, America is a pretty good place to grow up. If you are an Asian kid, America is a fantastic place to grow up.

I am in no way trying to make a case that every person has the same opportunity to succeed. Naturally, we can do more. Yes, we can do better. But we are doing better. We are and have come so far from where we once were. Let us not throw our unique sense of American grit and determination out with the fight to get even better.

WAIT! STOP! Before you throw my white privilege back at me, give me a chance. I know first-hand that we aren’t perfect. I get that we still have challenges with racism. I understand that the wealth gap is significant and can be disturbing. I know we have crime in our streets and corruption in our capital buildings. But we are still the most incredible opportunity to bring hope, freedom, and prosperity to this messed up world.

Like most of you, I wasn’t raised in wealth. I have no silver-spooned heritage. I went to work at thirteen and haven’t stopped since then. Working for what you get and what you can give away is a powerful accomplishment. It will cause your skin to thicken and your heart to soften at every turn. And that, my friend, is as American as it can get.

It’s ridiculous to stay in the binary thought of this age. An example of binary thinking is choosing a fiscally conservative platform and giving away a socially compassionate heart. Or be required to select an overly progressive platform and surrender fiscal wisdom to attain it. That’s ridiculous. Why not have a voice of reason that can stand firm on budgetary conservatism and have the heart to serve people in need? I am convinced that the majority of Americans would choose that lane. But someone has to stay calm enough, strong enough, and sound enough to make that case. Now is the time to stop the foolishness of binary, party-first platforms and put wisdom and reason at the forefront.

It’s ridiculous to cancel what we can learn from. No matter how badly we would like to change history, it can not be done. You cannot change the good, and you cannot change the bad. You can, however, learn from both. A reasoned response is let’s do better. Let’s learn from our mistakes, and let’s rise above them. Let us be an American people that do not stay in the sorrow of our past. We did not stay in taxation to England. We did not stay in the poverty of the Great Depression. We did not stay in the legalization and sin of slavery. And given reasoned, gathered wisdom, we will not remain divided. Our future is being determined as we learn from our past and our past year. Once again…we are far from perfect, but where would this world be without all of the good that the United States of America has done? Where on earth will we be if we do not stay the course, learn from our past, and better our kid’s future? One thing is crystal clear to me. To continue electing men and women that cannot see forward but languish in the spats of party politics, well, is just ridiculous!

And finally, as I finish this rant, it is ridiculous to not passionately strive to move forward and rebuild out of this pandemic. I have felt the fear of COVID-19. I have seen its deadly wake. I’ve counseled too many families that have suffered and lost most if not all of the business that they sacrificed to build. I’ve seen families struggle with aging parents and struggling children. But friends, to lay low and not aggressively push to allow some sane sense of normalcy to return is criminally ridiculous. Get your vaccinations. Take every precaution you need to take. But get moving forward! We have endured far worse plaques in our storied history, and we will survive this one!

Friends, there is much ridiculousness in our world, but dog-gone-it, this is America. It’s not perfect; it’s not always easy. It’s certainly not always equal. But where else, on this globe, can freedom, hope, and peace rain down from sea to shining sea? Where else can the world strive to emulate freedom? Where else can parents dream of raising their children with greater opportunity? Where else can hard work, kindness, and risk be rewarded, like the USofA? That’s right…nowhere else on the planet.

I will not stop striving to make our country better any more than you will. But let’s stop apologizing for being American, and start learning our lessons, together. We are far better together. We are more robust, kinder, sacrificial, and wiser together. Together, let’s serve each other, love each other, pull for each other, and celebrate the better days that are ahead of us together. By God’s grace, we are America. Let’s live like it and leave all this ridiculousness behind us. All of our diversity is what makes us better. Celebrate that, not what is simply ridiculous.

Peace, Chuck