Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Peace

PRAYING IN A WORLD GONE MAD

by

JANUARY 11, 2023

It doesn’t take a Ph.D. to determine that this world has gone mad. From politics to race relations, the human race has become a blustering ball of hate. We use the harshest of words to frame someone different than us as a villain. We do that on social media as we hide behind keyboards and in social discourse on the ballfield, the courtroom, the classroom, and the church. We have become angry mobs of like-minded minions swayed like a palm tree in a tropical storm.

Then what is that God would have us do to make an impact on this mess? The answer is straightforward if you claim to be a Follower of Jesus. Jesus said we should “love one another as I have loved you.” Well, how about that? Chuck, if I act more like Jesus, do I have to love “those people?” There is the rub. It isn’t about what you have to do; it is all about what Jesus does in you. You see, He directed us to love Him and that if we did, we would follow His commands. Of those commands, the most important thing was that we love God and others as we love ourselves. He said everything else was small compared to that. He said every other rule didn’t matter unless you got that one right.

That would mean we should focus on getting the love of God and others right in our lives.

But how? Thanks for asking!

  1. Don’t overthink this. Spend time with Jesus. Jesus loves us with an everlasting love. As a result, you can come to Him anytime you want because He first loved us! So, start talking to Him right now. “Hi Jesus, it’s me. It’s been a while, but I need some direction…” Just talk to him like you would a friend. He can’t wait to hear from you.
  2. Thank Him for breath, life, food, shelter, and whatever you are grateful for. When we place ourselves in a posture of gratitude, we can see how desperate we are for Him and how small we are in comparison. We also grow contented with gratitude as an awareness that what we have is enough when we are grateful.
  3. Ask Jesus for wisdom, good decisions, healthy relationships, and moment-by-moment direction for the day.
  4. Ask Him to reveal any poor attitudes, bitterness, resentment, sin, or anger in your life that you need to let go of. If you ask, He will answer. Often we need Him to get in the nooks and crannies of our souls and point out every way that we are not in sync with Him or others. Then ask Him to forgive and remove those. He is always faithful to do so.
  5. Pray for other people in your life. Everybody has needs, and every person on the planet needs people to pray for them.
  6. Bring your requests and needs to Him. He loves it when His kids come to Him for answers first.
  7. Pray it all in Jesus’ name, which is to say, Jesus, I trust you to take these prayers and do with them what is best for me and brings you glory.
  8. Keep this channel of conversation open all day. Talk with Jesus about everything. He can handle it.

    Better politics, education, or wealth cannot redeem the world that has gone mad. But Jesus can! All things were made by Him, for Him, and through Him. That makes Him the linchpin that all of the universe is in need of. From India to Indiana, Latvia to Los Angeles, a world gone mad has one hope – growing to know, love, and trust Jesus. Why not pray for that to happen? That is as it is supposed to be. Followers of Jesus trusting that Jesus can and will change the world.

    Here are five great reasons for you to pray without ceasing:

    First, prayer is necessary. We are never too busy to pray. Most of us, much of the time, feel as if we are too busy to pray. We have to sleep, after all. We have to work. We have to take care of the kids. We have to have some downtime, don’t we? And when all those things we have to do are done, there is hardly any time for prayer! At least, that’s what we tell ourselves. And yet, the truth is that we need prayer as surely as sleep, food, and rest. Each of us relies on God, and we demonstrate this reliance by praying. Jesus had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and yet he prayed. How much more should we?

    Second, prayer demands solitude. It is a powerful lesson – Jesus got away from the crowd to pray. He sought a place of quiet. Scripture does not command us to pray in solitude, but we should take the model of Jesus to heart. We should make it a personal discipline to unplug from the world before speaking to the One who made it.

    Third, prayer will often be strenuous. Scripture says that “Jesus continued to pray all night.” He once rebuked his disciples for failing to stay awake to pray. Jesus felt the need to sleep and rest. Yet he believed it was more important for him to stay alert and pray. What makes us think that our prayer life should be easy? Persistence ought to be the hallmark of every believer’s prayers.

    Fourth, prayer has a purpose. When we pray, we ought to know what needs to be accomplished. I like the well-worn acronym A.C.T.S. We pray to adore the Father because he is worthy of all adoration. We pray to confess our sins because we are to be daily aware of our need for forgiveness. We pray to thank God because an attitude of thanksgiving is a mark of every true believer. Finally, we pray supplication, asking God to provide because we know he cares about what we need. This is what it looks like for us to pray with a purpose.

    Fifth, prayer is effective. Having stayed up all night talking to his heavenly Father, Jesus was ready to pick twelve men to serve him on earth. Jesus prayed, the Father answered, and Jesus chose the twelve. Jesus prayed because he knew no decision was outside the will of the Lord. But having prayed, Jesus acted. We pray because we know that God is sovereign. And then we act, trusting that God will guide our steps.                      

    Yes, the world has gone mad, but Jesus can and will recover, heal and redeem this rotten world if His people choose to pray.

    2 Chronicles 7:14
    Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

    Go in Peace, Chuck

    4forFRIDAY with Chuck Allen

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    1. An APP We Can All Benefit from ANXTY Widget (Panic Button)

    This is most likely my favorite ap of 2022. I use it every day. It’s a simple way to connect and anchor your runaway thoughts to the intense love of God. It’s so, so good. If you are stressed, anxious, or fearful. Maybe even overwhelmed, this is a life-altering app. The folks from SoulSpace.co did it again. This is a must for every follower of Jesus!

    2. A Gadget that I Use Every Single Day: Broadlink WiFi Plugs

    Worshipful, powerful, inspiring, happy. I could go on and on. When you get to Revelation 19:1, just crank it up! BroadLink Smart Plug Mini, Smart Wi-Fi Timer Outlet Socket Works with Alexa, Google Home, IFTTT, Support Both 2.4G and 5G Wi-Fi.

    3. An Article That Can Help Anyone, from INC. Magazine

    I’ve been an evangelist for gratitude for years, but when you read an article designed for business leaders that supports your theology of gratitude, it’s hard to pass up. The article starts this way; “Everyone wants to be happier. Yet happiness can sometimes seem hard to come by.”

    A Fun and delicious Dinner Downtown: Campagnolo

    Last week, we joined a few neighbors for dinner at this fashionable and fun restaurant and thoroughly enjoyed our evening. It really is a great date spot and delicious Italian food! The lasagna was good,, but the Spaghetti a Cacio e Pepe was amazing!

    A Wonderful Quote from Max Lucado

    “You don’t influence God’s love. You can’t impact the tree-ness of a tree, the sky-ness of a sky, or the rock-ness of a rock. Nor can you affect the love of God.”

    Go in Peace, Chuck

    The Rush from Thanksgiving to Christmas

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    It’s a full-out sprint from Thanksgiving to Christmas Day. Every year, I tell myself that I’ll be better prepared for the mad dash of the season next year. And yet, here we go again. I have been fighting pneumonia this week and receiving daily IVs to feel better. Yet, through it all, life keeps racing on.

    But in this crazy season, it seems critical to note that the problem isn’t the season. Instead, the problem is how we approach and experience the season.

    Here are three things that I am trying to build in my life during this busy season. I trust that they might assist you as well.

    What if we were to reestablish our agency over our calendars and build a few simple boundaries to guard our hearts and attitudes?

    1. Get Serious About Sleep. Every study on the planet supports that you cannot sustain a healthy physical, emotional or mental life without adequate sleep. Break your pattern of thinking you can power through with just 5-6 hours of sleep. I can assure you that you are not the exception to this rule. Do whatever is required to get your sleep. I went to bed at 8:30 the other night to ensure I got some rest. Before you blow me off with the typical line of “I have no time to rest well,” hear me say that should you choose not to, the universe will ensure that you do – one way or the other. And ‘the other” isn’t the best route – get some sleep!

    2. Get Serious About Getting Scripture In Your Soul. When we don’t take the living, breathing Word of God and ingest it daily, we say, “God, I’ve got this. I don’t need you today.” Friends, we have answered that question with a resounding – “not so good!” Even as a pastor, I’ve gone through seasons when I haven’t been disciplined or passionate enough to get God’s Word in my soul daily. Every season I allow that to happen, I suffer from more significant anxiety, negative self-talk, unhealthy relationships, and poor decisions. Every time I am faithful, even to get 5 minutes of scripture in my soul daily, I function at a far higher level. Keep this in mind – The prescription for a messy, hectic life is the calming, directive guide in the Bible – Take your medicine. The more you taste and see that it is good, the more you experience its very nature of love, power, and peace. We all need more love, strength, and peace this season.

    3. Get serious About Service. If this is the most wonderful time of the year, why have we made Christmas all about us? The first Christmas was founded as a gift. God the Father sent God the Son as a gift to humanity. A gift designed to be given and received and shown again and again. Friend, if you want to experience the joy of Christmas, give! Serve someone in any way you can, and watch how God uses that gift to bless the one you are serving and you!

    There is an old saying that goes:

    “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”

    Here is an excellent list of reasons to serve others this Christmas season:

    1. Helping Others Feels Good

    When you help others, it promotes positive physiological changes in the brain associated with happiness. These rushes are often followed by longer periods of calm and can eventually lead to better well-being. Helping others improves social support, encourages us to lead a more physically active lifestyle, distracts us from our problems, allows us to engage in meaningful activity, and improves our self-esteem and competence.

    2. Helping Others Brings a Sense of Belonging and Reduces Isolation

    Being a part of something other than ourselves leads to a feeling of belonging and provides people with a sense of purpose. It allows people to see beyond their own experiences and builds camaraderie among neighbors, family, and community.

    3. Helping Others Helps to Keep Life in Perspective

    Many people don’t realize the impact a different perspective can have on their outlook on life. Helping others, especially those who are less fortunate than yourself, can provide a real sense of perspective and make you realize how blessed you are, enabling you to stop focusing on what you feel you are missing – helping you to achieve a more positive perspective on the things that may be causing you anxiety.

    4. Helping Others Makes the World a Happier Place Because It’s Contagious

    Acts of service have the potential to make the world a happier place. An act of kindness can improve confidence, control, happiness, and optimism. It can also encourage others to repeat the good deeds they’ve experienced – it contributes to a more positive community. We can all agree that is a good thing, can’t we?

    5. Helping Others is As Much About You as it Is About Them

    Scientific studies prove that the benefits of helping others can last long after the act itself by providing a ‘kindness bank’ of memories that can be drawn upon in the future. It is, in a sense, a long-release medication for the soul.

    The Dash from Thanksgiving to Christmas can be brutal, but remember – The problem isn’t the season; the problem is how we handle it!

    Get serious about your sleep.
    Get serious about scripture.
    Get serious about service.
    And have a very merry Christmas!

    Go in Peace, Chuck

    WHEN GRATITUDE EXITS, THE WRONG THINGS HIT THE FAN by Chuck Allen

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    “Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift.
    It liberates us from the prison of self–preoccupation.”

    –John Ortberg

    For years, I have been an evangelist of gratitude. Not because I live a Pollyanna, positive-thinking lifestyle, but because of what intentional gratitude did to change my very existence.

    I’ve written extensively about my consistent struggle with depression and emotional health. That’s not my point today. It is, however, a reminder that in a world where recent polls show that, “Mental illnesses are among the most common health conditions in the United States. More than 50% will be diagnosed with a mental illness or disorder at some point in their lifetime. 1 in 5 Americans will experience a mental illness in a given year,” we need a proactive reframing of our present conditions.

    In a recent article entitled “Causes of Depression,” the following were the leading factors in a person experiencing the many varying degrees of this often debilitating emotion:

    • Abuse. Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can make you more vulnerable to depression later in life.
    • Age. People who are elderly are at higher risk of depression. That can be made worse by other factors, such as living alone and having a lack of social support.
    • Certain medications. Some drugs, such as isotretinoin (used to treat acne), the antiviral drug interferon-alpha, and corticosteroids, can increase your risk of depression.
    • Conflict. Depression in someone who has the biological vulnerability to it may result from personal conflicts or disputes with family members or friends.
    • Death or a loss. Sadness or grief after the death or loss of a loved one, though natural, can increase the risk of depression.
    • Gender. Women are about twice as likely as men to become depressed. No one’s sure why. The hormonal changes that women go through at different times of their lives may play a role.
    • Genes. A family history of depression may increase the risk. It’s thought that depression is a complex trait, meaning there are probably many different genes that each exert small effects, rather than a single gene that contributes to disease risk. The genetics of depression, like most psychiatric disorders, are not as simple or straightforward as in purely genetic diseases such as Huntington’s chorea or cystic fibrosis.
    • Major events. Even good events such as starting a new job, graduating, or getting married can lead to depression. So can moving, losing a job or income, getting divorced, or retiring. However, the syndrome of clinical depression is never just a “normal” response to stressful life events.
    • Other personal problems. Problems such as social isolation due to other mental illnesses or being cast out of a family or social group can contribute to the risk of developing clinical depression.
    • Serious illnesses. Sometimes, depression happens along with a major illness or may be triggered by another medical condition.
    • Substance misuse. Nearly 30% of people with substance misuse problems also have major or clinical depression. Even if drugs or alcohol temporarily make you feel better, they ultimately will aggravate depression.

    Holy Cow! After reading through that list, you realize that we are all candidates for experiencing some measure of depression – especially during the holidays!

    Let me be clear. Significant depression requires professional care. If you are in the state of Georgia and you are living the challenge of depression, please reach our to ClearPath Counseling. The team of therapists and counselors at ClearPath are the best in the business, and they desire to help you make finding and receiving assistance simple and affordable.

    In the meantime, we all could benefit from the emotional, physical and spiritual benefits of creating a simple and sustainable system of INTENTIONAL GRATITUDE in our daily lives. here’s why:

    Before I even touch on the spiritual benefits, read these quotes from the National Alliance for Mental Illness.

    “…. many studies over the past decade have found that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed….” Learn more from Gratitude Changes You And Your Brain (Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine).

    In a study, “one group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.” Learn more from Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier (Harvard Health)

    “There’s a growing body of research on the benefits of gratitude. Studies have found that giving thanks and counting blessings can help people sleep better, lower stress and improve interpersonal relationships….” Learn more from If You Feel Thankful, Write It Down. It’s Good For Your Health (NPR)

    “A large study conducted by Virginia Commonwealth University showed that thankfulness predicted a significantly lower risk of major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, phobia, nicotine dependence, alcohol dependence and drug abuse….” Learn more from When Looking for Happiness, Find Gratitude, Gratitude (NAMI)

    “…. experiments have shown that people whole partake in the “three good things” exercise — which, as the name suggests, prompts people to think of three good moments or things that happened that day — see considerable improvements in depression and overall happiness, sometimes in as little as a couple weeks….” Learn more from 7 Surprising Health Benefits of Gratitude (Time)

    Just a reminder that none of these quoted sources are exactly bastions of spiritual health.

    Gratitude, my friends, is a significant theme in the Bible. 

    1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 in the NLT is pretty clear:
    Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

    Did you read that? Give thanks in all circumstances. Thankfulness should be a way of life for us, naturally flowing from our hearts and mouths. And when it is, it has the power to reshape our emotions and hearts each day.

    It is pretty significant that Paul doesn’t tell us to give thanks for everything. The preposition used is the Greek en, which is translated by the English preposition in. Paul isn’t saying that we must be thankful for the difficulties we encounter; instead, he is challenging us to be grateful in any circumstance. Paul recognized that the secret of peace, joy, and contentment isn’t found in circumstances. Instead, there is peace, joy, and contentment is directly found in recognizing it is Christ who strengthens us for whatever we might face.

    I once thought that this was simply a mindset issue. That I could simply try harder to think more thankfully, or positively. That is simple hogwash. A growing body of research shows that writing down (physically) what you are grateful for can lower stress, help you sleep better, and may even reduce the risk of heart disease. Write it down!

    When I started writing down – every single day – the three things that I am grateful for, my life started to radically improve. I was far more engaged with God, and He was obvious in sharing with me, His pleasure. I was calmer, more contented, less stressful, and a far better human to live and work with – far better!

    I use a simple, sustainable system. I write on a plain 3×5 card each day three things I am grateful for that morning. It takes less than one minute. Be real, not super-spiritual. My thre this morning were quite real;
    1) I finally got my new iPhone – love it.
    2) My 12 year-old car is super clean and filled with fuel – woo-hoo!
    3) God answered a significant prayer this week and I am so stinking grateful!

    It’s not hard – Just three things that come to the top of your mind – Do not overthink it!

    I then capture 4-5 qualities (adjectives) that describe the person I think God is asking me to be or become today. My examples from this morning included, SIMPLE, TRUTH-FILLED, APPRECIATIVE, HELPFUL, QUIETER. Some change often and some stay around a week or more. Again, don’t overthink it!

    I them write a short scripture that I am attempting to memorize during the week (Sun-Sat).

    That’s it! In total, I spend less than 5-minutes on this exercise. I’ve been at this for years now. And here is the good news.

    I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE CONTENT, FULFILLED, PEACEFUL, AND HAPPY in my entire life. I know for a fact that putting intentional gratitude into my daily routine changed everything. I have had the privilege of helping a lot of people do the same, and every one of us can give you the same story – IT JUST WORKS!

    In a world and a season that id fraught with anxiety, stress, weariness, and depression, you have everything to gain with this sustainable practice is proven scientifically, psychologically, and spiritually to greatly improve your life.

    GET AFTER GRATITUDE!

    “The greatest source of happiness is the ability to be grateful at all times.”

    -ZIG ZIGLAR

    Go in Peace & Gratitude, Chuck

    ASLAN COACHING: Helping people build balance, purpose, and peace into their lives by instigating a better way to approach the challenges of todays hectic, stress-filled pace!
    For information on how Aslan Coaching can help you,
    send an email to chuck@aslancoaching.com

    This Week’s “I Might Be Wrong, But I Doubt It”

    by

    AChuckAllen August 4, 2022

    Have you ever been in the shower or riding down the road thinking, and it hit you that you might be wrong, but you doubt it? Yeah, me too. This week’s article is focused on POLITICS! But, you know the age-old story; avoid politics at the Sunday dinner table if you want to keep the peace. But, here we go. Why do we get so whacked out about politics in America these days?

    POLITICS IN AMERICA

    America is in an information war – with itself. Our public forums, where we Americans discuss public issues, are broken. There’s little healthy discussion – and plenty of fighting. One reason why: Persuasion is difficult, slow, and time-consuming – it doesn’t make good television or social media content – and so there aren’t a lot of good examples of it in our public discourse. As a result, we have become propagandists, not persuaders. We have chosen the path of picking a side and unfolding a shock and awe campaign of how bad the other side is, regardless of who the other side is.

    The old vertical propaganda model cannot withstand the changes in communication brought on by the new participatory media – talk radio, cable, email, blogs, chats, texts, video, and social media.

    Pew research says that 93% of Americans are connected to the internet and 82% of Americans are connected to social media. We now all have direct access to communicate in the public square – and, most of us engage at some level in the propaganda machine. A lot of folks use their social media connections and platforms to knowingly and unknowingly spread misinformation, disinformation, conspiracy, and partisan talking points – all forms of propaganda. We’re all propagandists now. At times, we create our own version of dissent.

    The inability of Americans to allow for dissenting thoughts has become an epidemic. When we do not allow for common decency in dialogue with those we disagree with, we lose all sense of humanity and turn what could be beneficial for the country into a battle of anger, resentment, and outrage. It doesn’t take long!

    Hold your convictions close to you, but be cautious that your convictions are more than preferred thoughts and outcomes. America became America out of appreciation for how our Creator made us uniquely different, and we bond around that rather than fight about why it is the case.

    Be sure to leave room for your fellow American to be right, even if it is seldom the case.

    Be sure to leave room for you to be wrong, even if it doesn’t happen often.

    As a country built on diverse thought, we must accept that wherever diverse thought occurs, conflict is lurking around the corner. Conflict, friend, isn’t the problem.
    The problem is mismanaged conflict.

    Most conflict is internal. When someone thinks differently than you, they will most likely act, react and vote differently than you. That doesn’t have to make them your enemy. There is a reason that they think that way, and the way they think may have nothing to do with you – at all!

    To demonize them without attempting to understand them is doing yourself disfavor! Leave room for that Republican or Democrat to share why. If they don’t know why, other than some talking puppet on an alleged news show, don’t argue; simply step away.

    Everyone has the right to be wrong!

    If you do find yourself in a heated exchange, be the grown-up in the room and take the heat down. Speaking truth in love is the key here. When we shower others with our worst, we rarely have an opportunity to persuade, we simply become part of the propaganda. Besides, we owe it to the world to lessen the noise and increase the collective IQ.

    Step away from the keyboard when you are heated. There is no need to convince others of your lack of control. The country needs men and women of conviction, courage, and wisdom,
    not more screaming and banter.

    If you want to discuss politics, check your logo and ego at the door and have a clear, common, and compelling reason for what you say. Say it in a way that is helpful, thoughtful, and wise. Be willing to be corrected and be willing to accept differences, and watch how we can find a middle ground.

    I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

    Go in Peace, Chuck

    ARE YOU OFFENDED?

    by

    ACHUCKALLEN AUGUST 2, 2022

    Somehow, someway, we have trained ourselves to be easily offended. The minute I hit send on this post, I will begin the process of offending someone about being offended. We all know that it is true, don’t we? Yet, at any given point, we must stop before sharing our true feelings due to the fret and worry over whose feelings we have just hurt. The challenge is that it doesn’t matter what the topic is. It can be baseball; people just go off if you share an opinion. Look at the “Official Atlanta Braves Fan Facebook Page.” These people are screaming at each other on FB for talking about a game! Ever found yourself at a dinner party and politics come up in the discussion? Your heart starts to race; your forehead becomes sweaty, all because you aren’t sure if you are in a field littered with landmines – and these are your friends!

    We Might be Anxious

    People who are easily offended might struggle with anxiety and a need to control their view and version of the universe. They are accustomed to being in control of things in their lives. As a result, they may also need to control others’ responses. This is a pretty irrational thought, but it is so true! Taking offense to a perceived insult can be a function of anxiety. It might require the other person to acknowledge and tailor their verbiage and demeanor to match the offended person’s worldview. In essence, anxious people need to see their version of the truth as the only truth, which can help mitigate their experience of anxiety. That’s one thought.

    We Might be Insecure

    Folks that feel insecure have often been invalidated and learned others will not respond to their needs in helpful or meaningful ways. They might not have learned how to get their needs met appropriately and respond in a passive-aggressive manner. As a result, they may find they are more easily offended than others as a way to acknowledge their pain and seek validation of their experience. I see this all the time, and sometimes I see it in the mirror.

    We Might be Highly Sensitive

    Some of us are merely more sensitive than others. That’s our temperament, how we are wired. It’s extremely hard to be overly sensitive and have healthy relationships, but this is a changeable quality when you recognize this is how you are. One approach when you feel harmed by someone’s remark or lack of attention is to consider: How else could I think of this action except as being meant to hurt me? You might think that someone is having a bad day, they’re actually trying to help you, or that they’re simply inept at being tactful. We really can be a thin-skinned bunch.

    We Might Have Experienced a Traumatic Childhood

    When we are abused or traumatized as kids, the hurtful action taken against us gets stored in our brains differently than less distressing memories because they are highly emotional and seen as a threat. It’s inevitable, and we all have some measure of trauma. My friend Julie Homrich has taught me a bit about BIG “T” trauma and LITTLE “T” trauma. Even as adults, we have sore spots that can easily get “re-triggered.” If you were left out of activities or bullied as a child, every slight in adulthood might tap into those ugly memories and make you feel as you did as a child. As a result, we can be easily offended. Having a chat with a trained counselor or therapist is so good in this case.

    We Might Just Be Selfish and Certain

    When we leave no room for uncertainty in our life, as in we are always right, we will be easily offended. If someone doesn’t believe as we do, they must be wrong. If someone doesn’t vote the way we do, they must be wrong. When we have other folks convey a thought, opinion, or belief that we disagree with, can we not just let it go? Is it okay that people are perceived as wrong? Is it okay if they are wrong? Is it possible that we are wrong? Now I’ve gone too far…clearly! My point is that we have to attain some sense of decency and decorum in our personal exchange of ideas and ideologies, do we not? At some point, the gateway drug to the violence we are experiencing on our streets is that we have drawn red lines around our worldview and have determined that those lines are the point of no return, and once crossed, we start pushing the verbal nuclear codes into our preferred method of social media, or worse. It is okay that people do not see the world as you do!

    So, What Are We To Do?

    Taking offense can be a legitimate feeling when someone is expressing an unfair or deprecating sentiment about you or a group of people with whom you identify. It’s plenty valid to get offended at racist or sexist remarks. No, you are not overly sensitive when you express your displeasure at someone’s ignorant statement about people who look like you. But, if it’s a frequent mechanism by which insecurities or unresolved and personal issues are exposed, it’s most likely a problem. Get a unbiase thought on that and see where it takes you. It was a real struggle for me, but a struggle that bettered my life by a country mile!

    LEAVE ROOM FOR UNCERTAINTY

    You realize that none of us know everything about everything, correct? As a result, stay coachable, teachable, and flexible. I promise you that your life will be so much easier. It isn’t easy, but to hold your certainty loosely will allow you to see why someone sees the world differently. That takes the edge off of being angered or offended. It also allows you to be teachable, even if the lesson is what not to think or do.

    CREATE SPACE FOR DIVERSE THOUGHT

    There is a reason that the Creator didn’t make everyone the same way that you were created. Remember in the Bible, where Isaiah said, “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts?” Me too. He created us in such a beautifully diverse way that we are formed to be better together. Diversity is essential to better living and better thinking. But the truth is that where diversity exists, so also exists conflict. I realize that we have a melting pot of cultures and diversity here in the Land of the Free and that diversity asks something from us. It asks us to see that God made no mistake when He created the wonderful you – AND – the wonderful people that aren’t like you. The world is inhabited by far more people unlike you than like you. Heaven is going to be filled with folks unlike you. But the one central point here is that they were not created in error any more than you were. Learn to embrace diverse thoughts, cultures, and people. You will be so much happier when you do.

    LET IT GO

    I learned a phrase several years ago that may seem foolish to you, but it has been life-giving to me. When someone says something that seems offensive or even odd, I simply reply with, “how ’bout that?” It allows me to make a statement and keeps me from jumping into the deep water of offense or outrage. Just simply, “how ’bout that?” Idina Menzel was right when she sang, Let it Go in the Disney film, Frozen – LET IT GO! You really don’t have to respond. When we do, it typically makes us feel worse, not the other way around. Choosing to be offended by everything will literally eat you up from the inside, like drinking poison intended for the other party. LET IT GO and see how much happier you become.

    More often than not, taking on an offense is a choice. Be very careful how much offense you choose to take into your soul. Like a three-pack-a-day habit, it’ll slowly but surely kill you.

    Go in Peace, Chuck