Achuckallen

Instigating Better

grace

NOPE – Not Gonna do It

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AChuckAllen.com

It seems too easy to bash anybody that is leading anything today. Bash the president, the Congress, the Senate, the School Board, the Mayor, the CEO, the pastor, the Oscar Host…You get the idea.

I stopped writing this BLOG months ago because I was frustrated with everything. I prayed through my frustration. Talked through my frustration. Then worked through my frustration. The short end of this story is that I needed to pray, think and talk my way to being capable of working through my frustration. The following is a recipe for how I transitioned from frustrated human to peace-filled and productive, purposeful human.

I spent some time offline and off social media. I spent more time reading, praying, and rediscovered the power of solitude, investment, and trajectory. You must be thinking, here’s another preacher tale or worse, another self-help guide. NOPE, neither.

Over the past few months, I have discovered a more peace-filled and purposeful life stage. And it didn’t require an Apple Watch, super-planner, conference, book, or retreat. It took solitude, investment, and trajectory. Here, let me explain.

SOLITUDE:

We are a people that seem to stay in constant motion and with continuous noise. We fill our lives with such busyness that there is literally no time to know who we are, where we are going, or what we want to be. As a result, we drift into what the world wants us to be. But I’m not suggesting that you have to attend a silent retreat or isolate yourself. Instead, I recommend that you discover three, five-minute pauses in your day to grab solitude. Then, in that solitude, capture your investment and trajectory. Of course, I am assuming you know that solitude also needs to include quietude. That’s it. There are three five-minute pauses for your day that have an old-fashioned pen and a 3 x 5 index card. Pretty simple, right? Remember – Just three, five-minute breaks to SIT (SOLITUDE, INVESTMENT, TRAJECTORY).

INVESTMENT:

Now that you have sorted out a way to grab three, five-minute pauses in your day, grab your pen and index card and capture your investments in YOU! Start with GRATITUDE. Always start with GRATITUDE. On the top of the index card, write down two things you are grateful for today. Nothing must be cute, super intellectual, or spiritual. Just what are you grateful for. See the illustration below. This is my card from this morning. Invest in yourself by inserting GRATITUDE as an essential part of your morning routine (2 minutes). Harvard Medical School places a significant emphasis on GRATITUDE. The following is an excerpt from the hard medical Journal:

FRONT
BACK

“The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness (depending on the context). In some ways, gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, being grateful also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.”

“In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

Faith and science agree that grateful people are far more likely to be more contented and happier. Why not INVEST in your happiness and contentment?

In your solitude pause number one – insert gratitude s an investment in you, your present and future.

Then determine the trajectory of your day, on the same index card. Capture in bullet form a few (typically 5-6) statements that might describe the person you wish to be today. Again, see my illustration. I tend to focus on the cxharacteristics that I believe God might be nudging me toward improvement.

Once I’ve capture my gratitude and my desired person I want to be today, I like to capture one prayer thought that I am asking the Divine to settle in my life.

When I use the term “capture,” it is an effort of be clearly understood that you have given it thought. That you have prayerfully considered it, and you are writing it down on your investment card. The Journal of Experimental Psychology published research that shows how writing your thoughts down can reduce intrusive thoughts about negative events and improve working memory, even the simple act of writing something down lets your brain know you want to remember it.

These three simple steps can, and will change the trajectory of your life, especially when you engage your Creator with a conversation about all of them.

SOLITUDE + INVESTMENT + TRAJECTORY = GREATER PEACE
GREATER PEACE = MORE CONTENTED LIVES AND HAPPIER, HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIPS

To continue the change in trajectory, flip the card over at the end of each day and capture three thoughts.

1. What went well today?
2. What didn’t go so well today?
3. What am I asking God to do in my life tomorrow?

Write them down – file the day away and sleep like a rock.
Wash, rinse and repeat tomorrow.

SOLITUDE – INVESTMENT – TRAJECTORY – JUST SIT

It’s not fancy. It’s not digitized (unless youwant it to be), and it makes a huge difference. Just SIT in Solitude and accomplish these three pauses in each day. If you chose to consider this a version of journaling, I’m cool with that because, according to mental health professionals, journaling is one of the most recommended tools to have a clearer mind and a happier life. It helps to release mental blockades and be more precise about your thoughts. Additionally, journaling helps to understand your desires, priorities, and worries. Multiple studies prove that writing down your thoughts can lead to an increase in well-being and happiness.

1. Solitue – Gratitude
2. Solitude – Invest in who God desires you to be.
3. Solitude – Reflect on your day and place tomorrow into His hands.

So, NOPE, I refuse to join the masses and whine about everything, every leader, and every inconvenience in this life. I’ve stumbled into a simple, sustainable routine to just SIT in solitude for the purpose of investing in the trajectory of my life. As a result, I am more peace-filled and purposeful than any other time in my life. I desire this for you as well. This allows me to focus on my part of our world and prompts me to serve those I can serve in a sustainable, practical, purposeful way.

Maybe this tiny effort, multiplied over thousands of people might make a big collective difference as we all just SIT.

Go in Peace,
Chuck

Three Life Skills Nobody Taught Me

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October 4, 2021, | AChuckAllen.com

You know you are getting to “that age” when you talk about what you’ve learned the hard way. Before you know it, you’ll be explaining how hard you had it as a kid, and kids these days don’t know how good they have it. Yikes! I’m not ready for that stage just yet, but I have learned three life lessons that nobody taught me or could teach me. These lessons were indeed learned in the more complicated way of experience.

  1. It’s always better to make things right, as opposed to proving you are right. Seriously, this is one of those lessons that you can teach, preach and plead. But you learn it the hard way. This one will save you a ton of heartache. To be in the right relationship with someone is far better than being correct.
  2. Arguing with a police officer is never a good idea. You say, how did you not know that? Because I am stubborn, hot-headed, and not the sharpest hook in the tackle box. If an officer in rural South Carolina stops you after midnight, it’s never a good idea to offer your honest thoughts on his quaint little town.
  3. Recognizing a Mountain from a Molehill. I’d heard all my life that you shouldn’t make a mountain out of a molehill, but nobody taught me how to differentiate between the two! Here is the key. Does weighing in, contributing to, or differing with make an immediate difference? Does my injecting more words or opinions actually provide help, encouragement, or truth to the conversation. OR? Am I simply talking more and asking everyone else to listen? I now know that many of my opinions do not add to a solution or truth, they are simply opinions. Knowing which is which helps hugely!

Go in Peace, Chuck

10 Things I Learned in My 20’s But Believe in My 60’s

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  1. Take care of your body now or you’re going to ache when you’re older.
  2. Don’t waste one second trying to keep up with anyone. Nobody will care in a few years.
  3. What goes up will someday come down. Failure is inevitable. Learn from it.
  4. Forgive more freely and you’ll live more freely.
  5. You’ll never regret spending more time with your family.
  6. Lose your weight and eat healthy now. The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight.
  7. Peace is the greatest commodity in this life.
  8. If you don’t have anything good to say, it’s your fault.
  9. Read your Bible daily and you’ll be happier every day.
  10. If you’re sick, stay home. Nobody wants what you have.

Peace, Chuck

How to Fix the World

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AChuckAllen.com

I know! Who would possibly think you could fix all of the world’s problems in one article? Well, I’m not so naive as to believe that you can improve the world with the following seven ideas, but I’ll guarantee you, these seven would radically make our world a better place to live in.

Seven ways to FIX THE WORLD.

  1. SLOW DOWN. Seriously, slow your life down and get off the hamster wheel. Constant hurry robs you of your peace and happiness. Always running creates health and emotional sink holes in our lives. Science and faith agree on this. Research on naps, meditation, nature walks and the habits of exceptional artists and athletes reveal how mental breaks increase productivity, replenish attention, solidify memories and encourage creativity. The Scriptues remind us of our need to “be still.” I find myself, and many of my circle of friends are addicts. Addicted to productivity to the degree that productivity hacks become our life’s theology. That’s a dangerous slope to live on.
  2. DON’T BE A BUTTHEAD. I’m passionate about this one. If every morning we chose to not be a butt with each other, life would be so much better. Here are a few thoughts that might apply to you.
    – Don’t Be a Butthead to “That Annoying Person in Your Life” – I think of dealing with annoying people like managing a dam on a river. Every annoying thing they do is water flowing into the reservoir. You can manage that by letting water pass over the dam, or you can let it build until the dam breaks. The dam breaking is you being a jerk and screaming, “I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR DIET! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY?!”
    – Don’t Be a Butthead to a Butthead. When presented with butthead behavior, just take a deep breath and put yourself in their shoes. Your responding in kind just escalates whatever negative stuff that’s in the air. If you can help it, do so.
    -Don’t Be a Butthead Because You’re Having a Bad Day. We all have bad days. Maybe your child is sick, a project is late, or a supplier sent parts that were all damaged in transit. Stuff happens to all of us, but not everyone responds by being a butthead. If the bad thing is your fault, own it, and move on. The worst your employer can do is fire you, and I’d rather be fired for messing up (as we all do from time to time) than for being a butthead. The people around you will see that you handled this setback with grace, and it will be remembered. If you handle stress by being a butthead, that will also be remembered.
  3. TURN OFF YOUR DEVICES. Imagine a day without answering every text like your life depends on it. Or stopping at a traffic light without checking your email. How about this – can you imagine talking with your family rather than comparing your likes and follows with everyone else?
    -Your brain will work better. By now most of you have heard of the many scientific studies that show the brain can’t actually multitask. What feels like multitasking to us is actually the brain switching rapidly among tasks. It feels good, and provides plenty of stimulation–something the brain tends to like. But it makes us the opposite of productive.
    -You’ll get better at solving problems. The biggest concern with constant connectedness is that people stop thinking. It’s very hard to think when you’re constantly interrupted, or distracted.
  4. FIND YOUR SACRED SILENCE. Two ideas with this one: 1) Every day, we all need to have a few minutes to meditate prayerfully, and 2) We could all talk less and make less noise. What a wonderful world it would be if we had less noise in our lives?
    –Silence offers opportunities for self-reflection and daydreaming, which activates multiple parts of the brain. It gives us time to turn down the inner noise and increase awareness of what matters most. And it cultivates mindfulness — recognition and appreciation of the present moment.
    – Silence also has physical benefits. “When we’re frazzled, our fight-or-flight response is on overload causing a host of problems,” says Dr. Sullivan. “We can use calm, quiet moments to tap into a different part of the nervous system that helps shut down our bodies’ physical response to stress.”
    – That means, being still and silent can help you: Lower your blood pressure Decrease your heart rate Steady your breathing. Reduce muscle tension. Increase focus and cognition.
  5. LEARN THE POWER OF GRATITUDE. We humans are naturally selfish, greedy, and ungrateful. If we were to experience widespread gratitude, we would become aware that when you are grateful, what you have is more than enough.
    – “In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” – Harvard University
  6. EXERCISE MINIMALISM. When we become grateful, we exercise minimalism. Minimalism is the art, and appreciation of less is more. We stop buying what we do not need, and we stop comparing what we have to everyone else.
    -Minimalism isn’t just a concept that helps us reorganize our homes and lives in a more effective and aesthetically pleasing manner. In fact, minimalism can be a helpful way to combat mental illness of all degrees of severity, from anxiety to schizophrenia and back.
  7. PRIORITIZE JESUS. I know this to be true. When we get Jesus in the proper priority within our life, we will get every other issue right. Notice that I didn’t say, get your going to church life, right? I didn’t say, look more christianly, or talk more like a church person. It’s this simple – properly prioritize Jesus and watch how all the world’s pettiness and angst are replaced with peace, contentment, and gracious living.
    – When asked what was the most important commandment, Jesus dropped the mic, when He said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’ The whole Law and the [writings of the] Prophets depend on these two commandments.”

I never said it would be easy, but it is simple.
Seven personal steps to better the world – immediately!

Peace, Chuck

A Simple Conversation that Matters

by

AChuckAllen

I realize that I’m a bit odd. I mean, I know that I’m weird. First, I’m a pastor that works hard at attempting to be normal. Second, I am allergic to chit-chat. No, really! I would never say that I like chatting in the sense of getting together for no purpose other than a chat.

However, I greatly appreciate a conversation grounded in purpose. Purpose feels like an accomplishment, reasoning, debating, sharpening, or resolving.

That’s why I know that the following conversation is a double win for you and your friend, child, parent, or spouse. Maybe even all the above!

Build these three questions into your daily routine and watch how your relationships improve with each day that you engage your person (s) of choice.

1. Start with YOUR BEST: What’s the best thing that happened yesterday?

2. Then Tackle the Worst. What’s the worst that’s happened (or is happening) today?

3. Then Add Prayer. What can I specifically pray for you today?

Please be sure to keep it simple. Keep it very real. Keep it truthful. Once you commit to asking, be equally committed to answering. Here’s the essential element in this brief, personal, purposeful conversation – actually pray for them!

If you don’t have anyone to have this conversation with, let your prayer be that you’ll discover them this week. In the meantime, feel free to send me an email and answer these questions. I’ll reply with my answers and pray earnestly for you.

Go In Peace, Chuck

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How’s Your MOB?

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AChuckAllen

I’m not writing about an unruly mob. I’m referring to an acrostic for M-O-B.

  • MARGIN IN YOUR LIFE
  • OWNERSHIP OF YOUR LIFE
  • BOUNDARIES AROUND YOUR LIFE

Oh, how I wish that I had learned the value of margin in my life 30 years ago! One of the most significant elements of a peace-filled, highly successful life is margin. We all need margin. We need margin emotionally, relationally, financially, professionally, physically, and spiritually. Margin allows us to be in sync with our families, realities, bodies, and possibilities. The only person that can build an appropriate margin for you is you. You know what you need. It would be best if you slowed down long enough to determine what adjustments are required to give you a helpful margin in every facet of your life.

We all must take ownership of all things that we can control. Owning what we can control requires two huge issues. Stop convincing yourself that you are a victim and surrendering your heart to your Creator. Ownership includes claiming what you can and should do to order your life. Surrendering is allowing the Spirit of God to give you direction and correction as you live each day to the fullest.

Margin, ownership, and then boundaries. Without boundaries, we don’t own our calendars, finances, or decisions. Without borders, other people own us and our dreams. Without limitations, we surrender our potential to others. Boundaries are critical to both margin and ownership. When we do not define our boundaries, we say yes to everything. Without boundaries, we overcommit, underdeliver, and stay frustrated with our schedules and ourselves. Boundaries protect us relationally and financially. Boundaries keep our feet out of our mouths. Boundaries keep our focus in the right place.

Without MOB, we all have the power to spin out of control, make poor decisions, and destroy relationships. It’s worth a few hours of your life to invest in creating your margin, ownership, and boundaries.

Peace, Chuck