Achuckallen

Instigating Better

faith

A Simple Conversation that Matters

by

AChuckAllen

I realize that I’m a bit odd. I mean, I know that I’m weird. First, I’m a pastor that works hard at attempting to be normal. Second, I am allergic to chit-chat. No, really! I would never say that I like chatting in the sense of getting together for no purpose other than a chat.

However, I greatly appreciate a conversation grounded in purpose. Purpose feels like an accomplishment, reasoning, debating, sharpening, or resolving.

That’s why I know that the following conversation is a double win for you and your friend, child, parent, or spouse. Maybe even all the above!

Build these three questions into your daily routine and watch how your relationships improve with each day that you engage your person (s) of choice.

1. Start with YOUR BEST: What’s the best thing that happened yesterday?

2. Then Tackle the Worst. What’s the worst that’s happened (or is happening) today?

3. Then Add Prayer. What can I specifically pray for you today?

Please be sure to keep it simple. Keep it very real. Keep it truthful. Once you commit to asking, be equally committed to answering. Here’s the essential element in this brief, personal, purposeful conversation – actually pray for them!

If you don’t have anyone to have this conversation with, let your prayer be that you’ll discover them this week. In the meantime, feel free to send me an email and answer these questions. I’ll reply with my answers and pray earnestly for you.

Go In Peace, Chuck

Need help? At Clear Path Counseling, we believe that reaching out for help is hard enough; finding it should be straightforward and simple. Just CLICK HERE and start your free assessment. You can finish your complimentary assessment in less than 10-minutes!

ClearPathCounseling.org

How’s Your MOB?

by

AChuckAllen

I’m not writing about an unruly mob. I’m referring to an acrostic for M-O-B.

  • MARGIN IN YOUR LIFE
  • OWNERSHIP OF YOUR LIFE
  • BOUNDARIES AROUND YOUR LIFE

Oh, how I wish that I had learned the value of margin in my life 30 years ago! One of the most significant elements of a peace-filled, highly successful life is margin. We all need margin. We need margin emotionally, relationally, financially, professionally, physically, and spiritually. Margin allows us to be in sync with our families, realities, bodies, and possibilities. The only person that can build an appropriate margin for you is you. You know what you need. It would be best if you slowed down long enough to determine what adjustments are required to give you a helpful margin in every facet of your life.

We all must take ownership of all things that we can control. Owning what we can control requires two huge issues. Stop convincing yourself that you are a victim and surrendering your heart to your Creator. Ownership includes claiming what you can and should do to order your life. Surrendering is allowing the Spirit of God to give you direction and correction as you live each day to the fullest.

Margin, ownership, and then boundaries. Without boundaries, we don’t own our calendars, finances, or decisions. Without borders, other people own us and our dreams. Without limitations, we surrender our potential to others. Boundaries are critical to both margin and ownership. When we do not define our boundaries, we say yes to everything. Without boundaries, we overcommit, underdeliver, and stay frustrated with our schedules and ourselves. Boundaries protect us relationally and financially. Boundaries keep our feet out of our mouths. Boundaries keep our focus in the right place.

Without MOB, we all have the power to spin out of control, make poor decisions, and destroy relationships. It’s worth a few hours of your life to invest in creating your margin, ownership, and boundaries.

Peace, Chuck

Integrating Faith and Psychology through Prayerful Meditation

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with Pastor Chuck Allen and Julie Homrich, MS, LPC

I trust that you will enjoy this podcast from Positive Talk Podcast.

Have you ever been stuck and you don’t know what to do next? Take a few minutes to listen in to this week’s podcast to determine your next best steps. Enjoy!

positivetalkpodcast.com
Peaceful – Prayerful Meditation with Julie Homrich, MS, LPC & Pastor Chuck Allen

Is it Really Okay to Not be Okay?

by

AChuckAllen.com

Mental health seems to be all the rage these days. Athletes, artists, actors, and stars are opening up with statements like, “it’s okay not to be okay.”

But for us mere mortals, is it really okay to not be okay?

I’m not attempting to be snarky in my question. I’m suggesting that for the bulk of our human landscape, it’s still very much not okay to be not okay.

While I want to believe that I am wrong, ask yourself how safe you feel about divulging to your boss or buddies that you are struggling with depression, self-harm, anxiety, or any number of mental or emotional health issues?

I took a few days off over Labor Day weekend and, upon returning, found myself overwhelmed at the number of needs, challenges, calls, and expectations. Just writing that makes my skin crawl. Not because of the requirements, challenges, rings, or expectations, but because of the folks that will be placing varying degrees of guilt, shame, or assumptive qualifications upon me.

You may not be that person with those guilt-ridden thoughts, but we all know that they are there.

Maybe you wrestle with some of the same struggles that I do. Perhaps you feel like there is nowhere to turn. If so, or if you know someone struggling, here are three next steps that can help…I promise.

1. Take three minutes right now and pray. That’s right, pray. Not with your “fake holy voice.” Just ask God to calm your soul, settle your spirit, still your mind, and give you truth-filled wisdom.

2. Send a text to a trusted friend, and ask them to have coffee because you need someone to chat with. If you do not have that person in your life right now, do these two things: 1) Go back to number one and add to your prayer that the Divine would place that person in your life. And 2) Reach out to a counselor or therapist. I know that can be challenging. That’s why my friend Julie Homrich and I have built a place that you can seek and find help and privately. Just go to ClearPath Counseling and invest less than ten minutes in completing your free assessment.

I’m not sure why I struggle with these things. I wish that I didn’t. If you are one of the 4,500 plus’s church members of the church that I pastor, you might be thinking (as I’ve been told), “we don’t want to know about our pastor’s struggles.

I am, however, now okay with admitting that, at times, I am certainly not okay. I’ve learned the truly amazing power of prayer. I’ve learned how little the Divine cares about the “how-to” of prayer. I’ve learned and experienced how simple yet significant the act of “chatting” with my Creator. I have also been blessed with a couple of dear friends, an unbelievably gracious wife, and the kindness of an exceptional therapist.

You might not be okay, not being okay. But you should know that I know how much your Creator truly, deeply, earnestly loves you and wants to chat with you, especially when you are not okay. That’s how I know firsthand about His love. In my most not okay moments, He’s listened to my deepest “not okayness.”

It might not feel safe for you to share your own “not okayness” with someone in your circle right now, but open your head and heart to a conversation with God. You probably still need a counselor or therapist, but He’s the best. The very best at listening to our lack of okayness.

May peace be yours this day.

May joy become your normal.

May hope reign on the throne of your heart.

May tomorrow be better than okay.

Peace, Chuck

ClearPathCounseling.org

Reacting to Global Crises

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August 31, 2021

Let’s face it, this world is in a mess. Afghanistan, Southern Border, COVID-19, Hurricane Ida, Western Fires. Oh, my stars!

The world has gone mad. And in the middle of all the chaos, we humans have grown more angry, anxious, and intemperate. Don’t hear me say that I’m not joining you. I am most definitely angrier, more anxious, and certainly more intemperate these days.

If you wear a mask, you’re humiliated. If you don’t wear a mask, you are insensitive. If you vaccinate, you love your neighbor, if you don’t, you are selfish. If you voted red, you hate gay people and black people. If you vote blue, you don’t love America.

In a world that is in desperate need of solutions, we have become a nation of whiners and finger pointers! Never before, have we been so divided, on so many different issues.

I find that people who claim to be Christians are often at the center of the fight. I often see people that have been forgiven and redeemed by the sacrificial death of Jesus, the Christ pointing the same fingers, screaming the same diatribe, and succumbing to the ridiculous rhetoric of the right, left, up, or down leaning of the crowd of choice.

Friends, it doesn’t have to be so. Much of the angst and anger we experience and share is rooted in fear. Fear that people don’t agree with us. Fear that the world has lost its way. Fear that things will never be better. Fear that we will never be enough or amount to anything. Some of us are experiencing fear in such a way that we are fire hydrants of anxiety and hate, spewing out our anger, anxiety, and fear on all who walk in front of us.

There is a better way! But it requires us all to answer a question. What do you think of, when you think about God?

AW Tozer once stated,
“What comes into our minds when we think about God
is the most important thing about us.”

I believe that is absolutely true. It also makes the case for the fact that there is a better way! But you have to settle on what you believe about God. It’s that simple.

Once again, it is of the utmost importance!

If you do not believe that God created you with a spirit of power, love, and sound mind, then you will continue to believe that you were created with a spirit of fear and timidity.

Paul, author of a large part of the Bible’s New Testament wrote to his understudy, Timothy, in 2 Timothy 1:7 that “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and self-discipline.

I get it. You might be saying, Chuck, I do not need some preacher lobbing a bible verse hand grenade at me. Here is the good news. The same God that created you and wired you into the unique human that you are today, is the same God the created you with the ability to change the way you think and renew your mind!

You can literally change the way you think because you have been given the spirit of power, not fear. You’ve been given the spirit of love, not hate. And you’ve been given the spirit of a sound mind and self-discipline, not chaos. All of that is evidence that you can quite literally change the way you think about the way you think!

My friend, Julie Homrich is a psychotherapist, and one of the brightest people that I’ve ever met. She calls thinking about we think, metacognition. I call it the 2-step of change. Stop and face reality, then change the way you think about it. Get it? Stop and think! Take all the problems in the world and just stop and think about how you see them and how you are reacting to them.

  1. Can you change the outcomes of any of them today? If not, then pray for them. If yes, what 2 things will you do today to help resolve the problem?
  2. Does your opinion on the matter help discover a solution to the problem? If yes, then by all means, share! If no, then take that anxiety and pressure of your plate.
  3. Are you holding on to the news, the worst case scenarios, or the what-ifs? then write those down and leave them on your nightstand. Before you call it a day, just offer up this simple prayer to the Creator. God, I do not understand all that is happening, but I want to be a part of solving, not complaining. Give me wisdom and protect the people in the line of this problem with your care and your love. Amen. Then leave it all with Him.

You do not have to live in doubt, fear, or timidity. But you also do not have to live in anxiety, stress, and anger. Especially if you cannot directly own that solution or problem yourself!

Because you were not given fear and timidity by your Creator. Then where did it come from?

Satan would love to convince you of your fears and insecurities. He would love to keep you locked up in emotional knots over crises found across the world.

But God has given you POWER, LOVE, and SELF-DISCIPLINE! Don’t fall for the bait! You can live in peace, even through all of the storms we face in this life. It’s a matter of what you think about, when you think about God.

Peace, Chuck

Three Steps Toward Mental & Emotional Health

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July 28, 2021

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve struggled over the years with my emotional and mental health. I’ve wrestled with depression, anxiety, fear, and comparison. It’s not my favorite thing to open up and talk about. Still, in a world of expectations and ongoing societal tensions, we seem to be at epidemic proportions regarding our state of peace and contentment. In other words, I am not alone in this struggle.

As Julie Homrich and I have continued to build ClearPath Counseling Network, I’ve become so much more aware of the simple steps we can all build into our daily routine and help get us to the point of peace. While these steps are simple, they require great intentionality. Without recognizing the need to introduce these simple steps into our daily lives, we allow our emotions to overwhelm us and control us, often with significant negative consequences.

Here are three of the lessons that have greatly helped me get in my lane of peace and contentment. I trust that they will help you as well.

  1. PRIORITIZE SLEEP! For decades I would brag about the fact that I could function at peak performande on 4-5 hours of sleep each night. The greek interpretation of those bragadocious words is “stupid.” If there is one thing I avoid at all costs, it’s not getting enough sleep. One poor night’s sleep won’t ruin your health, but it also won’t help you feel your best the following morning. String together multiple nights of poor sleep, and you’ll set yourself up for a number of potential issues: “The long-term effects of sleep deprivation are real. It drains your mental abilities and puts your physical health at real risk. Science has linked poor slumber with a number of health problems, from weight gain to a weakened immune system.”–Alyssa Atkinson
  2. Recognize and Attack Stress! Chronic stress is one of those things that isn’t entirely in our control, but it can wreak havoc on both our body and our mind. We often want to flee from stress in the hopes that it wil simply work its way out. But it rarely does that. Stress is a beast on our mental health and our physical health. In this article, from the National Institute for Mental Health you will discover the great challenges that both self-inflicted stress and stress applied to us does to our lives. There’s no question that life stressors will pop up regularly, and we have to deal with them when they do. There will always be an endless list of things you could stress about, such as a potential new job opportunity, family tension, finances, or a meeting with someone who you don’t know well. The cumlative results of each of these stressers is usually out of your control, and stressing will never better the outcome. I know it is easier said than done, but if you can learn to prepare to the best of your ability, and then let the chips fall where they may without stressing about all the “what-ifs”, both your mental and physical health will benefit immensely. I have discovered that three things I’ve placed in my morning routine help me consistantly manage stress well. Seek to recognize the stress, name it, and then attack it!

    1) MEDITATION! I know that I sound like a broken record, but engaging in prayer meditation will change your stress level immensely. Just 5-7 minutes each day to slow your thoughts, calm your soul and attempt to hear from your Creator is a HUGE step toward amanging and attacking stress.

    2) LISTS! Prep a list on anything you cna be consistent with. List as much detail as your brain needs. I create a task list every single day. It is on a 3×5 card and includes evertything from big pictire items to remembering to take out the trash. I see my lists as a parking lot so I don’t have to stress over what I need to remember!

    3) EXPECTATION EXPLANATION! We all have expectation for ourselves and for others. Expectations unmet can create huge blocks of stress in our life. Here are a few thoughts on the expectations that we all struggle with: First, we deal with personal expectations that typically start with comparison. We start comparing our life, or even our day to others, with great regularity. Comparison will rob you of joy, contentment and peace. It is a relentless thief that will attack you, every single day. There isn’t a single generation that doesn’t face this challenge of comparison. Second, comparison calls on us most when we live our lives through social media. The life we are comparing ourself to is often not real, at all! Third, comparison happens without our own sense of reality. Every person I know has something I do not have. But every person I know has challenges, sufferings and battles that I do not know, either. Stae and explain these realities to yourself and in that explanation do not allow the evil one to speak negative self-talk into your life – ever! You have one expectation to meet today and everyday. Love God, love others and love them as you love yourself. So, loving yourself is a powerful commandment…do it well and do it wise. Fourth, many of our expectations are created in a physical list or a mental list. They are created in our mind and often center around the what and where we “should be” right now in our life’s journey. TEAR UP THAT LIST! Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be stressed!

In the words of my good friend, Julie Homrich; “the current church culture at large, we are really good at giving quick solutions in the form of a Bible verse or building the next big program, but there are certain tipping points in a generation where we see that people are desperate for someone of faith to validate their pain without immediately trying to fix it. Mental and emotional health have hit epidemic proportions in our nation, state and community.”

I realize that there are plenty of ways to attack mental and emotional health, but these three are so simple to implement. If you do not have a meditation tool to help you, I use Soul Space. It is simple, free and provides an incredible, peace-filled 5-7 minute meditation every day. I promise you that when you give this habit 14 straight days, you’ll find yourself craving it like I crave biscuits and gravy! In the paid subscription part of the app (TOTALLY WORTH IT!) is an 8 day course entitled, “The Jesus Way to a Happy Life.” It is a total gamechanger for the Follower of Christ.

Would you be so kind to drop a few thoughts in the comments section of this BLOG. I’d love to know how you are dealing with stress, anxiety and overall mental health. I would also love to know if there are any areas you’d like my thoughts on. Thanks for reading – PLEASE SHARE!

Peace, Chuck