Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Politics

ARE YOU OFFENDED?

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ACHUCKALLEN AUGUST 2, 2022

Somehow, someway, we have trained ourselves to be easily offended. The minute I hit send on this post, I will begin the process of offending someone about being offended. We all know that it is true, don’t we? Yet, at any given point, we must stop before sharing our true feelings due to the fret and worry over whose feelings we have just hurt. The challenge is that it doesn’t matter what the topic is. It can be baseball; people just go off if you share an opinion. Look at the “Official Atlanta Braves Fan Facebook Page.” These people are screaming at each other on FB for talking about a game! Ever found yourself at a dinner party and politics come up in the discussion? Your heart starts to race; your forehead becomes sweaty, all because you aren’t sure if you are in a field littered with landmines – and these are your friends!

We Might be Anxious

People who are easily offended might struggle with anxiety and a need to control their view and version of the universe. They are accustomed to being in control of things in their lives. As a result, they may also need to control others’ responses. This is a pretty irrational thought, but it is so true! Taking offense to a perceived insult can be a function of anxiety. It might require the other person to acknowledge and tailor their verbiage and demeanor to match the offended person’s worldview. In essence, anxious people need to see their version of the truth as the only truth, which can help mitigate their experience of anxiety. That’s one thought.

We Might be Insecure

Folks that feel insecure have often been invalidated and learned others will not respond to their needs in helpful or meaningful ways. They might not have learned how to get their needs met appropriately and respond in a passive-aggressive manner. As a result, they may find they are more easily offended than others as a way to acknowledge their pain and seek validation of their experience. I see this all the time, and sometimes I see it in the mirror.

We Might be Highly Sensitive

Some of us are merely more sensitive than others. That’s our temperament, how we are wired. It’s extremely hard to be overly sensitive and have healthy relationships, but this is a changeable quality when you recognize this is how you are. One approach when you feel harmed by someone’s remark or lack of attention is to consider: How else could I think of this action except as being meant to hurt me? You might think that someone is having a bad day, they’re actually trying to help you, or that they’re simply inept at being tactful. We really can be a thin-skinned bunch.

We Might Have Experienced a Traumatic Childhood

When we are abused or traumatized as kids, the hurtful action taken against us gets stored in our brains differently than less distressing memories because they are highly emotional and seen as a threat. It’s inevitable, and we all have some measure of trauma. My friend Julie Homrich has taught me a bit about BIG “T” trauma and LITTLE “T” trauma. Even as adults, we have sore spots that can easily get “re-triggered.” If you were left out of activities or bullied as a child, every slight in adulthood might tap into those ugly memories and make you feel as you did as a child. As a result, we can be easily offended. Having a chat with a trained counselor or therapist is so good in this case.

We Might Just Be Selfish and Certain

When we leave no room for uncertainty in our life, as in we are always right, we will be easily offended. If someone doesn’t believe as we do, they must be wrong. If someone doesn’t vote the way we do, they must be wrong. When we have other folks convey a thought, opinion, or belief that we disagree with, can we not just let it go? Is it okay that people are perceived as wrong? Is it okay if they are wrong? Is it possible that we are wrong? Now I’ve gone too far…clearly! My point is that we have to attain some sense of decency and decorum in our personal exchange of ideas and ideologies, do we not? At some point, the gateway drug to the violence we are experiencing on our streets is that we have drawn red lines around our worldview and have determined that those lines are the point of no return, and once crossed, we start pushing the verbal nuclear codes into our preferred method of social media, or worse. It is okay that people do not see the world as you do!

So, What Are We To Do?

Taking offense can be a legitimate feeling when someone is expressing an unfair or deprecating sentiment about you or a group of people with whom you identify. It’s plenty valid to get offended at racist or sexist remarks. No, you are not overly sensitive when you express your displeasure at someone’s ignorant statement about people who look like you. But, if it’s a frequent mechanism by which insecurities or unresolved and personal issues are exposed, it’s most likely a problem. Get a unbiase thought on that and see where it takes you. It was a real struggle for me, but a struggle that bettered my life by a country mile!

LEAVE ROOM FOR UNCERTAINTY

You realize that none of us know everything about everything, correct? As a result, stay coachable, teachable, and flexible. I promise you that your life will be so much easier. It isn’t easy, but to hold your certainty loosely will allow you to see why someone sees the world differently. That takes the edge off of being angered or offended. It also allows you to be teachable, even if the lesson is what not to think or do.

CREATE SPACE FOR DIVERSE THOUGHT

There is a reason that the Creator didn’t make everyone the same way that you were created. Remember in the Bible, where Isaiah said, “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts?” Me too. He created us in such a beautifully diverse way that we are formed to be better together. Diversity is essential to better living and better thinking. But the truth is that where diversity exists, so also exists conflict. I realize that we have a melting pot of cultures and diversity here in the Land of the Free and that diversity asks something from us. It asks us to see that God made no mistake when He created the wonderful you – AND – the wonderful people that aren’t like you. The world is inhabited by far more people unlike you than like you. Heaven is going to be filled with folks unlike you. But the one central point here is that they were not created in error any more than you were. Learn to embrace diverse thoughts, cultures, and people. You will be so much happier when you do.

LET IT GO

I learned a phrase several years ago that may seem foolish to you, but it has been life-giving to me. When someone says something that seems offensive or even odd, I simply reply with, “how ’bout that?” It allows me to make a statement and keeps me from jumping into the deep water of offense or outrage. Just simply, “how ’bout that?” Idina Menzel was right when she sang, Let it Go in the Disney film, Frozen – LET IT GO! You really don’t have to respond. When we do, it typically makes us feel worse, not the other way around. Choosing to be offended by everything will literally eat you up from the inside, like drinking poison intended for the other party. LET IT GO and see how much happier you become.

More often than not, taking on an offense is a choice. Be very careful how much offense you choose to take into your soul. Like a three-pack-a-day habit, it’ll slowly but surely kill you.

Go in Peace, Chuck

I Might Be Wrong, But I Doubt It WHY AMERICA IS IN TROUBLE

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AChuckAllen.com July 28, 2022

Nope! This is not a bash America, pro any political party, point fingers, and play the blame game article. This is a hard look at where we are as a nation and what we can each do to make this place better than the way we found it. But to be clear, I love America. I am proud to be an American. But we can be and are better than the America we are living and portraying today.

Here are my I MIGHT BE WRONG, BUT I DOUBT IT thoughts for this week

I really do not think that the problems reside in Washington DC. I do not think that the primary issues at hand are about party platforms, progressives or conservatives, or right and lefts. I do however believe that we have a very real problem within our two-party system. I’ve written plenty about my beef with both donkeys and elephants. But they are simple-minded, easy targets. The problems run much deeper than those issues. You pick the party and you will find plenty to gripe about and find fault in – either way, every day. So where then is the problem? Because if we can address the problem, we can discover solutions. We solved talking to people around the globe with a piece of plastic the size of our palm. We have sent people to the moon, split atoms, and cooked in air fryers. Come on. How hard can it be to determine the problem and create solutions?

As it turns out, pretty dang hard! Because the problems with America are people problems, not platform and party problems. Here are two problematic areas of American life, and a few potential solutions.

SELFISH LEADERSHIP

Every study, poll, and experiment points to one fact that is true in every organization, team, or industry. The fact is that servant leaders are the leaders that change the world. Servant leaders are the people that others want to follow. Servant leaders are people that change the temperature of the world. These are people that put others in front of themselves, help others succeed, and revel in seeing someone other than themselves achieve great things. Servant leaders aren’t about pumping up their private brand, they are about making a difference in this world.

Sadly, we elevate those that talk loudest and longest and those that seek the spotlight, not the Light of the World. The real problem is that we continue to elect, hire, and celebrate these folks. The solutions may seem simple, right? But they aren’t. Like all sincere issues in this life, the closer we get to the problem, the more complex the solution. But in this case, I’d like to offer three difficult, but attainable solutions.

  1. Take a hard look in the mirror and search deep within your soul. Are you that person? I hate to admit it, but I have been and at times, still am that person. The solution is to stop comparing ourselves to others and compare ourselves to our Creator and the design He has within each of us. Simply talk to the Divine and ask for Him to search your heart, point out every selfish attitude or habit. Ask Him to replace them with His wisdom and His will/way, and watch the changes that start in your life. My experience is that when I get less selfish, I get more peaceful and more productive. Funny how that works, huh?
  2. Choose every day to give a part of you away. Your kindness, your money, your time, your attitude. Whatever you do, become a leader that lives with open hands. The stress will melt away, and the view of the rest of the world will radically change in just 2 weeks of daily servant leadership. I promise!
  3. Stop complaining about everybody else and their leadership. Get your attitudes in check and your heart in line first and foremost. It’s not fun. It’s not easy. It is necessary. Make servant leadership personal, because it is radically contagious.

When Jesus and His disciples came to the town of Capernaum, He asked them about a dispute they had on the way. They were arguing about who would be the greatest, and Jesus took the opportunity to speak about true leadership — the concept of servant leadership.

And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”

Mark 9:35

But what is servant leadership? The concept isn’t fully defined in Jesus’ words or any other simple phrase. It is, however, illustrated and illuminated in Jesus’ life and ministry, and that’s where we should start if we want to become a more impactful leader. By studying other godly men and women who demonstrated the core qualities of a servant leader, you can better appreciate their triumphs and struggles, as well as your own.

I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

THE ALMIGHTY BRAND

In Ulvalde, Texas this past week I experienced something odd. I stood at the memorial in the city park and at the site of Robb Elementary School and saw the outpouring of thousands of individuals. I saw banners and stuffed animals. I saw crosses and flowers. When I spoke with leaders and city workers I heard story after story of companies and non-profits trying to show up and “do something.” I heard of organizations wanting to burn sgae around the city, bikers wanting to “just be there,” and people with chain saws wanting to cut things down. My goodness, such an outpouring of folks wanting to do what they wanted to do.

The one thing I heard a lot of is, “nobody has really asked us what we need.”

It isn’t just Uvalde, or the places of crisis around the world, it is everywhere. Doing good is good for business is a new marketing ploy. Just pay attention to the organizations whose commercials are focused on the “good that they do” while watching any media outlet. It is reportedly 50% of ad space these days.

My point isn’t that they aren’t doing good. It is that they are doing good, BUT, does the good have to come with the obligatory photo opp? I’m not immune from this. Heck, I’m actually writing an article, under my name about this. But, can we not treat needy people and crisis as opportunities to grab a pic for the sake of telling the world what we did? Again, guilty as charged right here, but I felt guilty and sick about even snapping pics at the hallowed ground of Robb Elementary. As for me and our team, we will not be on a promotion tour. We will be the peeps in the dust and sweat, and hopefully nobody there sees us as a people seeking another photo opp on the backs of their burdens and grief.

I realize we have to raise awareness, and money to do some good, but folks the pushing of our brands is in the way of making people our priority. The brand shouldn’t be the key figure here. It should be the motivation to serve, to help, to give and to go. Without fanfare, credit, or photo opp.

A few years ago, I was with a group of folks helping serve a local ministry cooperative. These folks had been toiling for about four hours. They were tired, having worked a full day and then giving there time to serve. No t-shirts, no photo opps, just good people doing good work. Another organization came in about the time these servant leaders were taking a ten minute coffee break with bright yellow t-shirts with there brand emblazoned upon them and said, “let’s get this done.” They burst on the scene, made a mess of what was being done. Stayed 45 minutes, huddled for a photo opp, pushed the others out of the way (quite literally) and left in a blaze of glory.

It’s typically more subtle than that, but the almighty brand has replaced the intention of doing the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason. And it sickens me.

And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

James 4:3

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3

I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

I’d love to hear from you. Email me HERE.

Go in Peace, Chuck

Reacting to Global Crises

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August 31, 2021

Let’s face it, this world is in a mess. Afghanistan, Southern Border, COVID-19, Hurricane Ida, Western Fires. Oh, my stars!

The world has gone mad. And in the middle of all the chaos, we humans have grown more angry, anxious, and intemperate. Don’t hear me say that I’m not joining you. I am most definitely angrier, more anxious, and certainly more intemperate these days.

If you wear a mask, you’re humiliated. If you don’t wear a mask, you are insensitive. If you vaccinate, you love your neighbor, if you don’t, you are selfish. If you voted red, you hate gay people and black people. If you vote blue, you don’t love America.

In a world that is in desperate need of solutions, we have become a nation of whiners and finger pointers! Never before, have we been so divided, on so many different issues.

I find that people who claim to be Christians are often at the center of the fight. I often see people that have been forgiven and redeemed by the sacrificial death of Jesus, the Christ pointing the same fingers, screaming the same diatribe, and succumbing to the ridiculous rhetoric of the right, left, up, or down leaning of the crowd of choice.

Friends, it doesn’t have to be so. Much of the angst and anger we experience and share is rooted in fear. Fear that people don’t agree with us. Fear that the world has lost its way. Fear that things will never be better. Fear that we will never be enough or amount to anything. Some of us are experiencing fear in such a way that we are fire hydrants of anxiety and hate, spewing out our anger, anxiety, and fear on all who walk in front of us.

There is a better way! But it requires us all to answer a question. What do you think of, when you think about God?

AW Tozer once stated,
“What comes into our minds when we think about God
is the most important thing about us.”

I believe that is absolutely true. It also makes the case for the fact that there is a better way! But you have to settle on what you believe about God. It’s that simple.

Once again, it is of the utmost importance!

If you do not believe that God created you with a spirit of power, love, and sound mind, then you will continue to believe that you were created with a spirit of fear and timidity.

Paul, author of a large part of the Bible’s New Testament wrote to his understudy, Timothy, in 2 Timothy 1:7 that “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and self-discipline.

I get it. You might be saying, Chuck, I do not need some preacher lobbing a bible verse hand grenade at me. Here is the good news. The same God that created you and wired you into the unique human that you are today, is the same God the created you with the ability to change the way you think and renew your mind!

You can literally change the way you think because you have been given the spirit of power, not fear. You’ve been given the spirit of love, not hate. And you’ve been given the spirit of a sound mind and self-discipline, not chaos. All of that is evidence that you can quite literally change the way you think about the way you think!

My friend, Julie Homrich is a psychotherapist, and one of the brightest people that I’ve ever met. She calls thinking about we think, metacognition. I call it the 2-step of change. Stop and face reality, then change the way you think about it. Get it? Stop and think! Take all the problems in the world and just stop and think about how you see them and how you are reacting to them.

  1. Can you change the outcomes of any of them today? If not, then pray for them. If yes, what 2 things will you do today to help resolve the problem?
  2. Does your opinion on the matter help discover a solution to the problem? If yes, then by all means, share! If no, then take that anxiety and pressure of your plate.
  3. Are you holding on to the news, the worst case scenarios, or the what-ifs? then write those down and leave them on your nightstand. Before you call it a day, just offer up this simple prayer to the Creator. God, I do not understand all that is happening, but I want to be a part of solving, not complaining. Give me wisdom and protect the people in the line of this problem with your care and your love. Amen. Then leave it all with Him.

You do not have to live in doubt, fear, or timidity. But you also do not have to live in anxiety, stress, and anger. Especially if you cannot directly own that solution or problem yourself!

Because you were not given fear and timidity by your Creator. Then where did it come from?

Satan would love to convince you of your fears and insecurities. He would love to keep you locked up in emotional knots over crises found across the world.

But God has given you POWER, LOVE, and SELF-DISCIPLINE! Don’t fall for the bait! You can live in peace, even through all of the storms we face in this life. It’s a matter of what you think about, when you think about God.

Peace, Chuck

Four Thoughts on MASKS

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May 13, 2021

I know, what could possibly be left unsaid about wearing a mask? Well, he are four thoughts for you to ponder over, as we still hear the battle from all sides.

1. Like almost anything in America, we found a way to politicize a face covering. Just spelling that phrase annoys me. I’m pretty sure that anybody can find research to support their personal preference. To argue this point seems pointless. To predetermine someone’s value, worth or intelligence based on if they are wearing a mask is just wrong. Especially in my state where you most likely have been vaccinated if you want to be.

2. Consider where people live. I live in the great state of Georgia. In this state, the governor and legislative leaders have declared that we are “100% open.” As a result, unless the establishment you wish to enter requires you to mask up, be an adult and choose wisely. If you’ve been vaccinated, encourage others to do the same. But please, don’t be a militant jerk about it.

3. According to every data source, just this week, you should not wear a mask outside. But hear me – if you want to wear a mask outside or alone in your car, knock yourself out. But if so, please do not throw shade at someone that isn’t wearing a mask.

4. At the risk of sounding like an anti-masker, it really feels like much of our mask wearing has been driven by optics more than science. In the early days of the pandemic, we were fearful of surfaces. It took an entire year for people to calm down from that scare. Much of the same has been proven true about masks. But honestly, much of that science is new data collected over the past fourteen months. I have been onboard with masks, but can we not allow people to make their own health choices in May, 2021? I read earlier today that even Governor Newsome, in California is dropping masks in June. Wearing masks to make a point or for the optics to prove you are looking more vigilant than others seems a bit silly.

At the end of the pandemic day, we know so much more than we did in March 2020. We must address at least five more pressing issues. 1) Rapidly Increasing Inflation. 2) The Humanitarian Crises on Our Southern Border. 3) The Tension and Attacks in Israel. America must find its backbone again in support of Israel. 4) Reopening America’s Largest and Most Critical Cities and Economic Centers. 5) Rebuild and Restore America’s Educational Systems. Many of our best and brightest citizens chose to be educators . Let’s give them a chance to teach our children skills and lessons that will allow them the opportunity to better the world, not civic lessons established on personal preference.

Why yes, I did “mask that covert message” inside an article on wearing masks. Proving once again that masks mask the more significant issues.

Peace, Chuck

Careful Criticism

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If you went back to President Bill Clinton’s first term and continued into President George W. Bush’s terms, then-President Barak Obama’s terms and President Donald Trump’s term, you would find two commonalities. First, you would discover that at the changing of the party platforms, radical changes took place. Second, you would find that the party that lost became progressively louder in the disagreement and criticism of platforms and policies.

Please don’t hear me say that we shouldn’t disagree and even disagree with great concern. I will say, however, that we must get a few things done that require some cooperation. The country must move forward and stop spending all of our energies fighting battles among ourselves. At some point, America will experience a significant and horrible challenge that will require left and right, donkey and elephant, black and white, to rally around our most core beliefs and work together.

Following that last paragraph, I am contemplating a complete rewrite. The left is warming up their keyboards, ready to fire off a blistering assault on my alleged intelligence. The right is preparing to continue the string of recent notes of joy that have called into question my faith, my sanity, and my patriotism. But I need to move on.

I titled this article “Careful Criticism.” One of the many problems in our Capital is the full-time politicians and their assault on whoever the “other party” is. It’s a problem because we are electing and paying people to do nothing but gripe, criticize, and complain. We have full-time whiners and news pundits, but very few get-it-done leaders are remaining. You pick the side, and you’ll find whiners, critics, and gripers. At some point, we have to discover some common ground and start moving forward. If we don’t, we will whine, blame, and criticize our way into a debt we cannot pay, a fight we cannot win, or a mistake from which we cannot recover.

I get it. Blue doesn’t want to agree with pro-life Red. Red doesn’t want to agree with green-deal Blue. I am not suggesting that anyone step away from their convictions. I am suggesting that there are areas in which we must fight to discover SOME common ground and press forward toward a better union and better Republic. Again, I am in no way suggesting we lay down convictions. I am suggesting that we lay down our anger, vitriol, and incivility. I mean that we rise as the great nation that we are and elect women and men with love for this country that exceeds their love for power and television time. Come on, America! We are so much better than the childish bickering that seems to keep our airwaves filled with more lavish and unstable hate-speak. To do that, we must stop electing career politicians. We must stop supporting anger-filled pundits, even if they agree with our ideologies, and we must elect leaders filled with integrity, decency, and character. We must also elect leaders that agree with serious campaign finance reform and term limits. If we do not, the stagnation of constant criticism will be rewarded with an ever-growing civil war that will occur every four-years yet change very little. At some point, we will have to elect women and men that have courage without anger. We must accept that no one is clean enough not to have some checkered past. We could use some common sense and some people that have experienced the need for grace and correction. We really could use a few leaders that have received and learned how to extend some grace and discipline.

Whatever it takes, we must move beyond the name-calling, foolish tirades, and attention-grabbing camera bluster of so-called leaders that get nothing done but partisan criticism and positioning. Maybe you should run for an elected office. Perhaps I should run for an elected office. But then, we would be under the microscope of criticism, and maybe someone might ask the question, could we handle the heat in that oven-like kitchen?

America, we must be careful with our criticism. It seems to be at the heart of our battles. We can disagree, and we should oppose other ideations of this land. We are a Republic founded on diverse people, which had, and still has vastly diverse thought. But we are Americans, for goodness sake. Let’s act like it!

Chuck

I’m Offended!

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I’m Offended by AChuckAllen

Everywhere I turn, somebody has been offended. Each time that I watch the news, there are people offended and often another group of people taking up their offenses.

Come on, folks! We live in a world of diversity. We have diverse backgrounds, education, skin color, and spiritual maturity. As a result, we live in conflict. There it is! That awful “C-word,” CONFLICT! But, I don’t think we are dying from conflict, we are slowly dying from misdirected and mismanaged conflict. Wherever you are and whatever you do, is done in the sphere of diversity. And, wherever diversity exists, conflict is close behind.

We, as independent people, love our freedoms, especially when everyone agrees with us. But then life happens. Someone sees the world differently that you do, and BAM! Our diversity then becomes conflict.

We seem to be able to work together. Why then, can we not think together? Because conflict always exists, whether we verbalize or stuff it. The simple recognition that God created us uniquely should give us the catalyst to understand that we look differently, respond differently, and lead differently. Why in the world would we believe that we would not think and speak differently?

I am attempting to control my heart, and I’ve asked the Divine to guide me through this season. You know why? Well, thanks for asking. It is because I have no hope of understanding my heart, much less, changing it without God’s Spirit directing it.

We must stop being offended about everything that someone does or says. Remember that conflict is always present, so don’t take the bait. Refuse to buy into the lies that everyone has a deep and dark agenda to rob you of some freedom or right.

Ask your Creator to do a work within you that will soften your heart with empathy and sincerity, and see how differently this world of conflict is from the life God has directed us to live. Ask your Creator to thicken your skin, so you will not be the victim of everything somebody says.

The foolish, binary thoughts that we must live on the fringes of our ideals with simple yes/no questions leaves no room for us to create our own thoughts and convictions. If all we do is regurgitate someone else’s opinions, we are buying into the lies that the far right or far left has all the answers. That’s a steaming pile of poop!

Lay down your idealistic, emotional boo-boo’s and battle weary pitchforks long enough to develop an “up close” perspective. The further removed from something, the easier it is to take up an offense that was never about you. The longer we remain distanced from the problem, person or statement, we seem to be more offended. The closer we get to the statement, person or problem, the easier it is to develop sympathy, solutions and empathy for the person, problem or activity.

This overly simple, three step, mental activity will save you years of heartache and the temptation to become a statistic filled with rage and no healthy way to release that anger.

1) Live in the Spirit as He lives in you. 2) Offer grace and the reality that you may not know the whole story. 3) Discipline your soul to NOT pick up an offense unless it is personally directed at you and you can deal with it in love and preferably in person. Otherwise, let it go, let it go, let it go!

The real battle isn’t what, or who are offended by, the real battle is between your ears. I’ve discovered that when I am grateful, thoughtful, transparent, and grace-filled, I can lay those offenses down so much easier. How about you?

Go in Peace,
AChuck

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