Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Hope

Three Steps Toward Mental & Emotional Health

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July 28, 2021

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve struggled over the years with my emotional and mental health. I’ve wrestled with depression, anxiety, fear, and comparison. It’s not my favorite thing to open up and talk about. Still, in a world of expectations and ongoing societal tensions, we seem to be at epidemic proportions regarding our state of peace and contentment. In other words, I am not alone in this struggle.

As Julie Homrich and I have continued to build ClearPath Counseling Network, I’ve become so much more aware of the simple steps we can all build into our daily routine and help get us to the point of peace. While these steps are simple, they require great intentionality. Without recognizing the need to introduce these simple steps into our daily lives, we allow our emotions to overwhelm us and control us, often with significant negative consequences.

Here are three of the lessons that have greatly helped me get in my lane of peace and contentment. I trust that they will help you as well.

  1. PRIORITIZE SLEEP! For decades I would brag about the fact that I could function at peak performande on 4-5 hours of sleep each night. The greek interpretation of those bragadocious words is “stupid.” If there is one thing I avoid at all costs, it’s not getting enough sleep. One poor night’s sleep won’t ruin your health, but it also won’t help you feel your best the following morning. String together multiple nights of poor sleep, and you’ll set yourself up for a number of potential issues: “The long-term effects of sleep deprivation are real. It drains your mental abilities and puts your physical health at real risk. Science has linked poor slumber with a number of health problems, from weight gain to a weakened immune system.”–Alyssa Atkinson
  2. Recognize and Attack Stress! Chronic stress is one of those things that isn’t entirely in our control, but it can wreak havoc on both our body and our mind. We often want to flee from stress in the hopes that it wil simply work its way out. But it rarely does that. Stress is a beast on our mental health and our physical health. In this article, from the National Institute for Mental Health you will discover the great challenges that both self-inflicted stress and stress applied to us does to our lives. There’s no question that life stressors will pop up regularly, and we have to deal with them when they do. There will always be an endless list of things you could stress about, such as a potential new job opportunity, family tension, finances, or a meeting with someone who you don’t know well. The cumlative results of each of these stressers is usually out of your control, and stressing will never better the outcome. I know it is easier said than done, but if you can learn to prepare to the best of your ability, and then let the chips fall where they may without stressing about all the “what-ifs”, both your mental and physical health will benefit immensely. I have discovered that three things I’ve placed in my morning routine help me consistantly manage stress well. Seek to recognize the stress, name it, and then attack it!

    1) MEDITATION! I know that I sound like a broken record, but engaging in prayer meditation will change your stress level immensely. Just 5-7 minutes each day to slow your thoughts, calm your soul and attempt to hear from your Creator is a HUGE step toward amanging and attacking stress.

    2) LISTS! Prep a list on anything you cna be consistent with. List as much detail as your brain needs. I create a task list every single day. It is on a 3×5 card and includes evertything from big pictire items to remembering to take out the trash. I see my lists as a parking lot so I don’t have to stress over what I need to remember!

    3) EXPECTATION EXPLANATION! We all have expectation for ourselves and for others. Expectations unmet can create huge blocks of stress in our life. Here are a few thoughts on the expectations that we all struggle with: First, we deal with personal expectations that typically start with comparison. We start comparing our life, or even our day to others, with great regularity. Comparison will rob you of joy, contentment and peace. It is a relentless thief that will attack you, every single day. There isn’t a single generation that doesn’t face this challenge of comparison. Second, comparison calls on us most when we live our lives through social media. The life we are comparing ourself to is often not real, at all! Third, comparison happens without our own sense of reality. Every person I know has something I do not have. But every person I know has challenges, sufferings and battles that I do not know, either. Stae and explain these realities to yourself and in that explanation do not allow the evil one to speak negative self-talk into your life – ever! You have one expectation to meet today and everyday. Love God, love others and love them as you love yourself. So, loving yourself is a powerful commandment…do it well and do it wise. Fourth, many of our expectations are created in a physical list or a mental list. They are created in our mind and often center around the what and where we “should be” right now in our life’s journey. TEAR UP THAT LIST! Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be stressed!

In the words of my good friend, Julie Homrich; “the current church culture at large, we are really good at giving quick solutions in the form of a Bible verse or building the next big program, but there are certain tipping points in a generation where we see that people are desperate for someone of faith to validate their pain without immediately trying to fix it. Mental and emotional health have hit epidemic proportions in our nation, state and community.”

I realize that there are plenty of ways to attack mental and emotional health, but these three are so simple to implement. If you do not have a meditation tool to help you, I use Soul Space. It is simple, free and provides an incredible, peace-filled 5-7 minute meditation every day. I promise you that when you give this habit 14 straight days, you’ll find yourself craving it like I crave biscuits and gravy! In the paid subscription part of the app (TOTALLY WORTH IT!) is an 8 day course entitled, “The Jesus Way to a Happy Life.” It is a total gamechanger for the Follower of Christ.

Would you be so kind to drop a few thoughts in the comments section of this BLOG. I’d love to know how you are dealing with stress, anxiety and overall mental health. I would also love to know if there are any areas you’d like my thoughts on. Thanks for reading – PLEASE SHARE!

Peace, Chuck

WE ARE THE ANTS & Who Shook the Jar?

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June 9, 2021

A young friend of mine (Charlton Clayton) posted an Instagram pic on his wall that reminded me of an old story with a super powerful truth attached to it. It goes like this; If you fill a glass Mason Jar with 100 black ants (think picnic) and 100 red ants (think OUCH!), you now have 200 ants. Here is the non-math part of the story. Those 200 ants get along just fine, living and anting together.

But then some knucklehead comes along and shakes the jar. They don’t shake it vigorously, but they shake it pretty well. The Mason Jar is now shaken, not stirred, but the 200 ants, having been disoriented and “all shaken up,” have picked sides. They are no longer just 200 ants living in harmony. They are now 100 red ants versus 100 black ants. And the peaceful Mason Jar is now a full-on battleground.

If you haven’t figured out the natural correlation to our shaken-up world, let me spell it out for you. You pick the division, and I’ll show you the jar shaker. You determine the problem, and I’ll show you the constant instigators. You point out the divisiveness, and I’ll show you the dividers.

How about this? Let’s get in the mason jar and refuse to be shaken or stirred. Let’s determine that we do not need others to do our thinking or our speaking for us. Let us think and reason on our own. Let us speak on and of our personal convictions and conclusions. Let’s tell the truth, keep no secrets, and respect each other.

Let’s stop the insanity of hate-filled rhetoric that has trickled down with all the gentleness of Niagra Falls onto our children.

I am not suggesting that we hide from the differences and divisions. Let’s face it; we have green ants, brown ants, black ants, mean ants, red ants, fire ants, and flying ants. Did you know that there are more than 12,000 species of ants on this planet? In some ways, they are all living together in a globe-shaped Mason Jar.

They do not need us to teach them how to live and survive. They just need to appreciate all the ants.

Allowing jar-shaking leaders in our churches, courtrooms, classrooms, and chambers should be criminal. Let’s live, lead, teach, serve and parent with a passion for loving one another. I know. What a preacher thing to say? But really, why is this so hard? Little kids playing together couldn’t care less what kind of ant you are. They don’t care if you are a right-wing ant or a moderate ant. They aren’t concerned about if you are a brown ant or a green ant. They do care if you play nicely. It’s a universal action…being nice.

Jesus said, “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.”

He instigated and directed that we first love, then forgive, then love even more. And if we, who claim to be Followers of Jesus are spending more time shaking jars or griping about who shakes the jar, we missed the whole point, didn’t we? Maybe we are spending our time listening to and watching the jar shakers to the point that we don’t recognize the commonalities of all us like ants in the jar anymore?

We are all ants, living in a globe-shaped jar. Stop giving the jar shakers a voice. Give your head and heart to serving the fellow ants in the jar with grace, dignity, kindness, and good old-fashioned love. I think we’ll live in a far better jar.

Peace, Chuck

That’s Ridiculous!

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Let’s get this out of the way early: I love America. I know America isn’t perfect. I know we have a flawed past. I know we have significant issues, but I’m pretty sick of hearing about how terrible we are.

If you are a poor white kid, America is a pretty good place to grow up. If your an affluent Latino kid, America is a pretty great place to grow up. If you are a middle-class black kid, America is a pretty good place to grow up. If you are an Asian kid, America is a fantastic place to grow up.

I am in no way trying to make a case that every person has the same opportunity to succeed. Naturally, we can do more. Yes, we can do better. But we are doing better. We are and have come so far from where we once were. Let us not throw our unique sense of American grit and determination out with the fight to get even better.

WAIT! STOP! Before you throw my white privilege back at me, give me a chance. I know first-hand that we aren’t perfect. I get that we still have challenges with racism. I understand that the wealth gap is significant and can be disturbing. I know we have crime in our streets and corruption in our capital buildings. But we are still the most incredible opportunity to bring hope, freedom, and prosperity to this messed up world.

Like most of you, I wasn’t raised in wealth. I have no silver-spooned heritage. I went to work at thirteen and haven’t stopped since then. Working for what you get and what you can give away is a powerful accomplishment. It will cause your skin to thicken and your heart to soften at every turn. And that, my friend, is as American as it can get.

It’s ridiculous to stay in the binary thought of this age. An example of binary thinking is choosing a fiscally conservative platform and giving away a socially compassionate heart. Or be required to select an overly progressive platform and surrender fiscal wisdom to attain it. That’s ridiculous. Why not have a voice of reason that can stand firm on budgetary conservatism and have the heart to serve people in need? I am convinced that the majority of Americans would choose that lane. But someone has to stay calm enough, strong enough, and sound enough to make that case. Now is the time to stop the foolishness of binary, party-first platforms and put wisdom and reason at the forefront.

It’s ridiculous to cancel what we can learn from. No matter how badly we would like to change history, it can not be done. You cannot change the good, and you cannot change the bad. You can, however, learn from both. A reasoned response is let’s do better. Let’s learn from our mistakes, and let’s rise above them. Let us be an American people that do not stay in the sorrow of our past. We did not stay in taxation to England. We did not stay in the poverty of the Great Depression. We did not stay in the legalization and sin of slavery. And given reasoned, gathered wisdom, we will not remain divided. Our future is being determined as we learn from our past and our past year. Once again…we are far from perfect, but where would this world be without all of the good that the United States of America has done? Where on earth will we be if we do not stay the course, learn from our past, and better our kid’s future? One thing is crystal clear to me. To continue electing men and women that cannot see forward but languish in the spats of party politics, well, is just ridiculous!

And finally, as I finish this rant, it is ridiculous to not passionately strive to move forward and rebuild out of this pandemic. I have felt the fear of COVID-19. I have seen its deadly wake. I’ve counseled too many families that have suffered and lost most if not all of the business that they sacrificed to build. I’ve seen families struggle with aging parents and struggling children. But friends, to lay low and not aggressively push to allow some sane sense of normalcy to return is criminally ridiculous. Get your vaccinations. Take every precaution you need to take. But get moving forward! We have endured far worse plaques in our storied history, and we will survive this one!

Friends, there is much ridiculousness in our world, but dog-gone-it, this is America. It’s not perfect; it’s not always easy. It’s certainly not always equal. But where else, on this globe, can freedom, hope, and peace rain down from sea to shining sea? Where else can the world strive to emulate freedom? Where else can parents dream of raising their children with greater opportunity? Where else can hard work, kindness, and risk be rewarded, like the USofA? That’s right…nowhere else on the planet.

I will not stop striving to make our country better any more than you will. But let’s stop apologizing for being American, and start learning our lessons, together. We are far better together. We are more robust, kinder, sacrificial, and wiser together. Together, let’s serve each other, love each other, pull for each other, and celebrate the better days that are ahead of us together. By God’s grace, we are America. Let’s live like it and leave all this ridiculousness behind us. All of our diversity is what makes us better. Celebrate that, not what is simply ridiculous.

Peace, Chuck