Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Mental Health

Going To Church Can Help Improve Your Emotional Health

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February 5, 2023

In a world of constant stress and worry, it can be easy to forget the importance of taking time for yourself. Attending church services can be a great way to take a break from your daily routine and invest in your emotional health. Read on to find out how going to church can help improve your mental well-being.

What is the Relationship Between Going to Church and Emotional Health?

Multiple studies suggest a positive correlation between faith, worship involvement, and mental health. For example, one study found that people who attend church regularly are less likely to experience depression.

Another study found that people who attend church are more likely to report a far higher degree of satisfaction with their lives. Additionally, church attendance has been linked with lower rates of suicide, substance abuse, and divorce.

So, what is the relationship between going to church and emotional health? It seems that there is a positive correlation between the two. Church provides a supportive community for its members and helps them develop a stronger sense of purpose. Additionally, the act of attending church can help to reduce stress levels and promote positive mental health.

There are Huge Benefits of Going to Church

There are many benefits to going to church, including improving your emotional health. Church engagement will help you connect with a community of like-minded people who can offer support and encouragement. Additionally, participating in church activities can help you reduce stress and anxiety and boost your mood. By the way, it helps if you discover a church that can encourage you along the journey.

Studies have shown that church involvement is associated with better mental health outcomes. For example, one study found that religious involvement was associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety. Research has shown that religious involvement is linked to increased self-esteem and life satisfaction. Again, it helps if you discover a church that doesn’t bore you to sleep as well.

If you’re struggling with mental health, consider attending a church service or joining a faith-based community. Doing so could help you find the support and guidance you need to improve your emotional well-being. Attending a healthy church can significantly impact your social well-being as well.

When it comes to improving your emotional health, going to church can significantly help. For one thing, church can provide you with a supportive community. This can be especially helpful if you’re going through a tough time in your life. Knowing that people care about you and want to help you can make a big difference.

In addition, church attendance can offer you guidance and wisdom. If you’re struggling with a decision or feeling lost, talking to a pastor or counselor at church can help you find your way. They can offer advice and support that can help you improve your emotional health. Be sure to seek out a bible-based, grace-filled church. They are out there, I promise!

Finally, attending church can help you develop a positive outlook on life. Hearing inspiring messages and singing uplifting songs can remind you of the good things in life and help you focus on the future rather than dwelling on the past. Having a positive outlook makes it easier to cope with stress and challenges. Did you know singing can change your mood and outlook in just a minute?

When stressed, our first instinct is to reach out to friends and family members for support. However, sometimes we may not have anyone to turn to or feel our problems are too small to bother them. This is where a church can come in handy. Not every church is a closed community. Many churches can’t wait for you to engage with them and them with you.

Being a part of a church community can help reduce stress in a few ways. First, it can provide a support network of people who are always there for you, no matter what. Secondly, churches typically have many different programs and services that can help you deal with whatever is causing your stress. And finally, simply attending church services and participating in religious activities can help you find peace and calm in your life.

When you go to church, you are surrounded by a supportive community. In addition, attending church can help improve your mental well-being by allowing you to reflect on your life and find meaning and purpose. Doing so can help reduce stress and anxiety and promote positive thinking and emotional health. When looking for a church that can provide these things, recognize how “welcome home” they make you feel once you walk into the building.

The Bible also encourages us by teaching that we should not forsake gathering together for worship segments of our faith lives. So, as I close, we can see, once again, that faith and science agree that attending a healthy church regularly is good for you, your soul, and your emotional well-being. Go to church this week!

Go In Peace, Chuck

4forFRIDAY with Chuck Allen

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February 3, 2023 | by AChuckAllen

Week five of 2023 is almost in the books, and it has been a great week.
Here are your 4forFRIDAY reviews for February 3, 2023.

Four Lessons That I Learned This Week.

  1. I learned that you could strengthen your “peace” by instilling spiritual disciplines as a form of exercise, just like you can increase your physical strength by instilling weight lifting as a form of exercise for your body – scientifically proven and biblically supported.
  2. Regardless of which party controls the House or Senate, we’ve become a country led by whiners.
  3. Never underestimate the power of being kind to someone you do not know. It can change their day!
  4. When you commit to making a small positive change over 30 days, you will exponentially improve your life over 12 months.

This Week’s 4forFRIDAY

A Powerful Article: 10 Ways to Sabotage Your Marriage (Without Realizing It)

A GREAT Album from Brandon Lake: House of Miracles, Especially “Gratitude”

A GREAT Article from Inc. Magazine: Emotionally Intelligent People Use 2 Simple Words to Build Confidence and Work Better (and Get Others to Work Better Too)

Another GREAT Article: Need Bedtime Peace? 10 Verses to Help You Sleep

A POWERFUL PODCAST from Brené Brown: Leadership is a Relationship

A Quote from the Positive Talk Podcast:

Our brains were created to reflect what we focus on and who we spend time with. This is why some people say, “Want to see who you’ll become in 5 years?” Look at the 5 people you spend the most time with.  

Go in Peace, Chuck

It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like…Hectic

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Guarding Your Soul This Christmas. By Chuck Allen

I love this time of year, or at least I’ve convinced myself that I do.

I often think that I reminisce of how I’d like to remember Christmas more than I actually love this most wonderful time of the year. With the kids jingle-belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer, well that’s just a line of bull. I have yet to hear anyone jingle-belling, and no person I’ve been around over the past 3 weeks has been sharing good cheer. As a matter of fact, I’m busier than I’ve ever been and everyone I know is stressed to their limit.

But that shouldn’t make for a blue, blue Christmas. It just might need to remind us of what makes this the hap, happiest season of all.

For centuries, we have all basically agreed that what makes this season so wondrous is 1) Christ’s birth, 2) family, and 3) presents. But what if Christmas means a little bit more?

What if Christmas means freedom, peace, and hope?

  1. Christ has come to free us from the tyranny of sin and death. That’s true freedom!
  2. Jesus came to reign and rule as the Prince of Peace. We all need more peace in our lives.
  3. The Son of God came to offer hope for tomorrow and the reality of Heaven.

Okay, Chuck, that’s enough preaching. I need a little help here. Do you know how busy I am? I have no idea how I’m going to get everything done. I cannot be in three places at one time.
There isn’t enough of me to go around, and the expectations are through the stinking roof.
I hear ya! So, here are
FIVE WAYS TO GUARD YOUR SOUL THIS CHRISTMAS.

  1. STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE! Create a prioritized list of tasks. Then assign days and times to them. Be sure you prioritize each day’s tasks. When you think of a new task, place it in a “parking lot.” A parking lot is a separate page that captures your must do’s to prioritize to a time and day. If you don’t learn this simple habit, your mind will run wild and your negativity bias will run amuck in your head. Make a list, then prioritize, update every evening for the next day. Capture those nagging reminders in your parking lot and move them to tasks as you plan each day. To create a good working list for December, plan for a 20 minute timeframe. To prioritize daily, plan for less than 10-minutes. Stop the merry-go-round and prioritize your tasks. It will change you life!
  2. LET IT GO, LET IT GO! It’s been determined that 90% of what we fear never actually happens and the remaining 10% is most often out of our control. To fear that which probably will not happen is a fool’s errand. To fret over that which you cannot control is to invite stress and anxiety upon you. Let it go! Take hold of what you can control, and that is your attitude and how you respond to adversity and fear. The single greatest way to confront fear is to invest in faith. That’s where the next three items come from.
  3. DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR? Engage in mindful quietude each morning. This might be the single best piece of advice that I’ve written for you. We are a people surrounded by noise, and most of it is our own doing! The rest is created by a world that is paid to grab our attention. Still your soul and use a solid meditation app, like SoulSpace or Glorify. Research has proven that just 5-minutes of mindful quietude can provide huge mental, emotional, and spiritual benefits. If you are running hard and chasing the dream, you’ll eventually hit the proverbial wall. STOP! Crawl out of bed, or finish your evening with 5-6 minutes of mindful quietude and watch how much more at peace you experience in your soul this Christmas.
  4. IN THE MEADOW YOU CAN BUILD A SNOWMAN! I live in Georgia, so it’s not a snowman, but I can build steps. I am living proof of a person that said for years, “I don’t have time to walk.” Well, I don’t have time to live in stress, anxiety, fear, or fret either. The science is in – walking, for most people is as good for you as running. FOR ME, IT CLEARS MY HEAD, AND GETS ME CENTERED WHERE GOD WANTS ME CENTERED FOR THE DAY!

    Harvard Health said it this way:
    • Walking counteracts the effects of weight-promoting genes. Harvard researchers looked at 32 obesity-promoting genes in over 12,000 people to determine how much these genes actually contribute to body weight. They then discovered that, among the study participants who walked briskly for about an hour a day, the effects of those genes were cut in half.
    • Walking helps tame a sweet tooth. A pair of studies from the University of Exeter found that a 15-minute walk can curb cravings for chocolate and even reduce the amount of chocolate you eat in stressful situations. And the latest research confirms that walking can reduce cravings and intake of a variety of sugary snacks. This should help level out those holiday mood swings!
    • Walking eases joint pain. Several studies have found that walking reduces arthritis-related pain, and that walking five to six miles a week can even prevent arthritis from forming in the first place. Walking protects the joints — especially the knees and hips, which are most susceptible to osteoarthritis — by lubricating them and strengthening the muscles that support them.
    • Walking boosts immune function. Walking can help protect you during cold and flu season. A study of over 1,000 men and women found that those who walked at least 20 minutes a day, at least 5 days a week, had 43% fewer sick days than those who exercised once a week or less. And if they did get sick, it was for a shorter duration, and their symptoms were milder.

  5. MARY DID YOU NO! Okay, bad dad pun. But here’s the real deal. Using the overcommitted Christmas season to learn the fine art of saying NO will help you in so many ways. Most of us are people pleasers to varying degrees and learning to say no can save us from ourselves this holiday season. Much of the frustration in my life is created by me, and most of it is because my pride, and pleaser mechanisms are still learning to build healthy boundaries. Boundaries aren’t just fences to keep things out, they are also to keep the right things in. When I allow my ego, pride or desire to please run wild, I create an unsustainable life. At Christmastime, it is heightened to the breaking point. Save yourself a huge frustration and predetermine a few key boundaries which will set the pace for what you will say yes to, and some that you need to say offer a no to. You’ll be a much happier human for Christmastime!

It can still be the most wonderful time of the year, but you have to take control of your season for that to happen. I trust these simple steps will help you experience your greatest Christmas season ever.

Go in Peace, Chuck

WHEN GRATITUDE EXITS, THE WRONG THINGS HIT THE FAN by Chuck Allen

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“Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift.
It liberates us from the prison of self–preoccupation.”

–John Ortberg

For years, I have been an evangelist of gratitude. Not because I live a Pollyanna, positive-thinking lifestyle, but because of what intentional gratitude did to change my very existence.

I’ve written extensively about my consistent struggle with depression and emotional health. That’s not my point today. It is, however, a reminder that in a world where recent polls show that, “Mental illnesses are among the most common health conditions in the United States. More than 50% will be diagnosed with a mental illness or disorder at some point in their lifetime. 1 in 5 Americans will experience a mental illness in a given year,” we need a proactive reframing of our present conditions.

In a recent article entitled “Causes of Depression,” the following were the leading factors in a person experiencing the many varying degrees of this often debilitating emotion:

  • Abuse. Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can make you more vulnerable to depression later in life.
  • Age. People who are elderly are at higher risk of depression. That can be made worse by other factors, such as living alone and having a lack of social support.
  • Certain medications. Some drugs, such as isotretinoin (used to treat acne), the antiviral drug interferon-alpha, and corticosteroids, can increase your risk of depression.
  • Conflict. Depression in someone who has the biological vulnerability to it may result from personal conflicts or disputes with family members or friends.
  • Death or a loss. Sadness or grief after the death or loss of a loved one, though natural, can increase the risk of depression.
  • Gender. Women are about twice as likely as men to become depressed. No one’s sure why. The hormonal changes that women go through at different times of their lives may play a role.
  • Genes. A family history of depression may increase the risk. It’s thought that depression is a complex trait, meaning there are probably many different genes that each exert small effects, rather than a single gene that contributes to disease risk. The genetics of depression, like most psychiatric disorders, are not as simple or straightforward as in purely genetic diseases such as Huntington’s chorea or cystic fibrosis.
  • Major events. Even good events such as starting a new job, graduating, or getting married can lead to depression. So can moving, losing a job or income, getting divorced, or retiring. However, the syndrome of clinical depression is never just a “normal” response to stressful life events.
  • Other personal problems. Problems such as social isolation due to other mental illnesses or being cast out of a family or social group can contribute to the risk of developing clinical depression.
  • Serious illnesses. Sometimes, depression happens along with a major illness or may be triggered by another medical condition.
  • Substance misuse. Nearly 30% of people with substance misuse problems also have major or clinical depression. Even if drugs or alcohol temporarily make you feel better, they ultimately will aggravate depression.

Holy Cow! After reading through that list, you realize that we are all candidates for experiencing some measure of depression – especially during the holidays!

Let me be clear. Significant depression requires professional care. If you are in the state of Georgia and you are living the challenge of depression, please reach our to ClearPath Counseling. The team of therapists and counselors at ClearPath are the best in the business, and they desire to help you make finding and receiving assistance simple and affordable.

In the meantime, we all could benefit from the emotional, physical and spiritual benefits of creating a simple and sustainable system of INTENTIONAL GRATITUDE in our daily lives. here’s why:

Before I even touch on the spiritual benefits, read these quotes from the National Alliance for Mental Illness.

“…. many studies over the past decade have found that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed….” Learn more from Gratitude Changes You And Your Brain (Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine).

In a study, “one group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.” Learn more from Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier (Harvard Health)

“There’s a growing body of research on the benefits of gratitude. Studies have found that giving thanks and counting blessings can help people sleep better, lower stress and improve interpersonal relationships….” Learn more from If You Feel Thankful, Write It Down. It’s Good For Your Health (NPR)

“A large study conducted by Virginia Commonwealth University showed that thankfulness predicted a significantly lower risk of major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, phobia, nicotine dependence, alcohol dependence and drug abuse….” Learn more from When Looking for Happiness, Find Gratitude, Gratitude (NAMI)

“…. experiments have shown that people whole partake in the “three good things” exercise — which, as the name suggests, prompts people to think of three good moments or things that happened that day — see considerable improvements in depression and overall happiness, sometimes in as little as a couple weeks….” Learn more from 7 Surprising Health Benefits of Gratitude (Time)

Just a reminder that none of these quoted sources are exactly bastions of spiritual health.

Gratitude, my friends, is a significant theme in the Bible. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 in the NLT is pretty clear:
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Did you read that? Give thanks in all circumstances. Thankfulness should be a way of life for us, naturally flowing from our hearts and mouths. And when it is, it has the power to reshape our emotions and hearts each day.

It is pretty significant that Paul doesn’t tell us to give thanks for everything. The preposition used is the Greek en, which is translated by the English preposition in. Paul isn’t saying that we must be thankful for the difficulties we encounter; instead, he is challenging us to be grateful in any circumstance. Paul recognized that the secret of peace, joy, and contentment isn’t found in circumstances. Instead, there is peace, joy, and contentment is directly found in recognizing it is Christ who strengthens us for whatever we might face.

I once thought that this was simply a mindset issue. That I could simply try harder to think more thankfully, or positively. That is simple hogwash. A growing body of research shows that writing down (physically) what you are grateful for can lower stress, help you sleep better, and may even reduce the risk of heart disease. Write it down!

When I started writing down – every single day – the three things that I am grateful for, my life started to radically improve. I was far more engaged with God, and He was obvious in sharing with me, His pleasure. I was calmer, more contented, less stressful, and a far better human to live and work with – far better!

I use a simple, sustainable system. I write on a plain 3×5 card each day three things I am grateful for that morning. It takes less than one minute. Be real, not super-spiritual. My thre this morning were quite real;
1) I finally got my new iPhone – love it.
2) My 12 year-old car is super clean and filled with fuel – woo-hoo!
3) God answered a significant prayer this week and I am so stinking grateful!

It’s not hard – Just three things that come to the top of your mind – Do not overthink it!

I then capture 4-5 qualities (adjectives) that describe the person I think God is asking me to be or become today. My examples from this morning included, SIMPLE, TRUTH-FILLED, APPRECIATIVE, HELPFUL, QUIETER. Some change often and some stay around a week or more. Again, don’t overthink it!

I them write a short scripture that I am attempting to memorize during the week (Sun-Sat).

That’s it! In total, I spend less than 5-minutes on this exercise. I’ve been at this for years now. And here is the good news.

I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE CONTENT, FULFILLED, PEACEFUL, AND HAPPY in my entire life. I know for a fact that putting intentional gratitude into my daily routine changed everything. I have had the privilege of helping a lot of people do the same, and every one of us can give you the same story – IT JUST WORKS!

In a world and a season that id fraught with anxiety, stress, weariness, and depression, you have everything to gain with this sustainable practice is proven scientifically, psychologically, and spiritually to greatly improve your life.

GET AFTER GRATITUDE!

“The greatest source of happiness is the ability to be grateful at all times.”

-ZIG ZIGLAR

Go in Peace & Gratitude, Chuck

ASLAN COACHING: Helping people build balance, purpose, and peace into their lives by instigating a better way to approach the challenges of todays hectic, stress-filled pace!
For information on how Aslan Coaching can help you,
send an email to chuck@aslancoaching.com

ARE YOU OFFENDED?

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ACHUCKALLEN AUGUST 2, 2022

Somehow, someway, we have trained ourselves to be easily offended. The minute I hit send on this post, I will begin the process of offending someone about being offended. We all know that it is true, don’t we? Yet, at any given point, we must stop before sharing our true feelings due to the fret and worry over whose feelings we have just hurt. The challenge is that it doesn’t matter what the topic is. It can be baseball; people just go off if you share an opinion. Look at the “Official Atlanta Braves Fan Facebook Page.” These people are screaming at each other on FB for talking about a game! Ever found yourself at a dinner party and politics come up in the discussion? Your heart starts to race; your forehead becomes sweaty, all because you aren’t sure if you are in a field littered with landmines – and these are your friends!

We Might be Anxious

People who are easily offended might struggle with anxiety and a need to control their view and version of the universe. They are accustomed to being in control of things in their lives. As a result, they may also need to control others’ responses. This is a pretty irrational thought, but it is so true! Taking offense to a perceived insult can be a function of anxiety. It might require the other person to acknowledge and tailor their verbiage and demeanor to match the offended person’s worldview. In essence, anxious people need to see their version of the truth as the only truth, which can help mitigate their experience of anxiety. That’s one thought.

We Might be Insecure

Folks that feel insecure have often been invalidated and learned others will not respond to their needs in helpful or meaningful ways. They might not have learned how to get their needs met appropriately and respond in a passive-aggressive manner. As a result, they may find they are more easily offended than others as a way to acknowledge their pain and seek validation of their experience. I see this all the time, and sometimes I see it in the mirror.

We Might be Highly Sensitive

Some of us are merely more sensitive than others. That’s our temperament, how we are wired. It’s extremely hard to be overly sensitive and have healthy relationships, but this is a changeable quality when you recognize this is how you are. One approach when you feel harmed by someone’s remark or lack of attention is to consider: How else could I think of this action except as being meant to hurt me? You might think that someone is having a bad day, they’re actually trying to help you, or that they’re simply inept at being tactful. We really can be a thin-skinned bunch.

We Might Have Experienced a Traumatic Childhood

When we are abused or traumatized as kids, the hurtful action taken against us gets stored in our brains differently than less distressing memories because they are highly emotional and seen as a threat. It’s inevitable, and we all have some measure of trauma. My friend Julie Homrich has taught me a bit about BIG “T” trauma and LITTLE “T” trauma. Even as adults, we have sore spots that can easily get “re-triggered.” If you were left out of activities or bullied as a child, every slight in adulthood might tap into those ugly memories and make you feel as you did as a child. As a result, we can be easily offended. Having a chat with a trained counselor or therapist is so good in this case.

We Might Just Be Selfish and Certain

When we leave no room for uncertainty in our life, as in we are always right, we will be easily offended. If someone doesn’t believe as we do, they must be wrong. If someone doesn’t vote the way we do, they must be wrong. When we have other folks convey a thought, opinion, or belief that we disagree with, can we not just let it go? Is it okay that people are perceived as wrong? Is it okay if they are wrong? Is it possible that we are wrong? Now I’ve gone too far…clearly! My point is that we have to attain some sense of decency and decorum in our personal exchange of ideas and ideologies, do we not? At some point, the gateway drug to the violence we are experiencing on our streets is that we have drawn red lines around our worldview and have determined that those lines are the point of no return, and once crossed, we start pushing the verbal nuclear codes into our preferred method of social media, or worse. It is okay that people do not see the world as you do!

So, What Are We To Do?

Taking offense can be a legitimate feeling when someone is expressing an unfair or deprecating sentiment about you or a group of people with whom you identify. It’s plenty valid to get offended at racist or sexist remarks. No, you are not overly sensitive when you express your displeasure at someone’s ignorant statement about people who look like you. But, if it’s a frequent mechanism by which insecurities or unresolved and personal issues are exposed, it’s most likely a problem. Get a unbiase thought on that and see where it takes you. It was a real struggle for me, but a struggle that bettered my life by a country mile!

LEAVE ROOM FOR UNCERTAINTY

You realize that none of us know everything about everything, correct? As a result, stay coachable, teachable, and flexible. I promise you that your life will be so much easier. It isn’t easy, but to hold your certainty loosely will allow you to see why someone sees the world differently. That takes the edge off of being angered or offended. It also allows you to be teachable, even if the lesson is what not to think or do.

CREATE SPACE FOR DIVERSE THOUGHT

There is a reason that the Creator didn’t make everyone the same way that you were created. Remember in the Bible, where Isaiah said, “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts?” Me too. He created us in such a beautifully diverse way that we are formed to be better together. Diversity is essential to better living and better thinking. But the truth is that where diversity exists, so also exists conflict. I realize that we have a melting pot of cultures and diversity here in the Land of the Free and that diversity asks something from us. It asks us to see that God made no mistake when He created the wonderful you – AND – the wonderful people that aren’t like you. The world is inhabited by far more people unlike you than like you. Heaven is going to be filled with folks unlike you. But the one central point here is that they were not created in error any more than you were. Learn to embrace diverse thoughts, cultures, and people. You will be so much happier when you do.

LET IT GO

I learned a phrase several years ago that may seem foolish to you, but it has been life-giving to me. When someone says something that seems offensive or even odd, I simply reply with, “how ’bout that?” It allows me to make a statement and keeps me from jumping into the deep water of offense or outrage. Just simply, “how ’bout that?” Idina Menzel was right when she sang, Let it Go in the Disney film, Frozen – LET IT GO! You really don’t have to respond. When we do, it typically makes us feel worse, not the other way around. Choosing to be offended by everything will literally eat you up from the inside, like drinking poison intended for the other party. LET IT GO and see how much happier you become.

More often than not, taking on an offense is a choice. Be very careful how much offense you choose to take into your soul. Like a three-pack-a-day habit, it’ll slowly but surely kill you.

Go in Peace, Chuck

How Should We Respond to Crisis?

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AChuckAllen | Monday, August 1, 2022

Every week we are bombarded with another crisis. A school shooting, mass shooting, flood, fire, riot, shortage, war, and the hits keep coming.

How can we respond to these crises without remaining angry, bitter, or hardened? How do we hear about more crises without growing jaded or curled up in anxiety? Fair questions for a country that regularly finds its way into trouble.

As a pastor, coach, and counselor, I’ve learned four things that we can all do to respond appropriately to the next crisis.

  1. DON’T CATASTROPHIZE THE CRISIS
    Fight hard not to let your mind convince you that things are far worse than they are. If we aren’t careful, our brain will convince us that we are like our preferred news outlet. We can be so active in telling ourselves that the sky is falling everywhere. We can make every crisis our crisis. Yes, we should be concerned, moved, and burdened, but you cannot own and exasperate every situation. My friend Julie Homrich would say, “don’t believe everything you think.”
  2. ACTIVELY LISTEN
    In most crises, loud voices point fingers, find fault and politicize the situation. Friends, this is not how to help or how to respond. There is a reason our Creator gave us two ears and one mouth. The single best way to respond to a crisis is to exercise your capacity to listen actively. Yes, affirm your connection to those affected. Affirm their heartache or pain, but at all costs, hush and let them speak. Let them find solace in your presence without your words. Keep this in mind. If you don’t know what to say, please don’t throw a catchphrase or random Bible. Verse their way. Just be there and listen. It’s okay to have a ministry of presence. While meeting the wonderful people of Uvalde, Texas, I heard, over and over again, “you are the only people asking us what we need.” In most points of crisis, words are cheap. Listening is golden.
  3. PRAY AND THEN PRAY SOME MORE
    We Americans are such activity-based people. When a hurricane happens, we get out the chain saws and wet vacs. When a shooting happens, we tend to do the same thing. What in the world? Prayer should never be seen as the last resort. Prayer is the single most extraordinary power on earth and requires zero travel! The minute you see or hear of a crisis, start praying. I’ll never forget seeing a horrific auto crash and hopping out of my truck to see if I could help. I got to the driver and realized they were already in the process of bleeding out. An incredible EMT jumped in, and I started praying for this mom out loud in the middle of highway 78. At that moment, the single greatest thing I knew to do was to PRAY! Before I finished, there were more than 20 people that had gathered around and, in their way, joined me in praying. Five days later, I got word that this dear lady had lost her leg, but she had her life and her toddler in the backseat. Prayer works! Pray, and then pray some more!
  4. ACT WITH GRACE AND SERVE WITH HUMILITY Determine not to join the fray and jump on the whiner train. Here is an equation from my friend Brad Rhoads, “Grace + Intentionality = Transformation” grace extends forgiveness and continuously extends a benefit of the doubt. Grace doesn’t blame. It smooths. And here is an authentic truth – WHEN WE EXTEND GRACE, WE SERVE OTHERS WITH HUMILITY!” According to the poster child of humility, Mother Teresa, this is what humility looks like: These are the few ways we can practice humility:
  • To speak as little as possible of one’s self.
  • To mind one’s own business.
  • Not to want to manage other people’s affairs.
  • To avoid busy-body curiosity.
  • To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.
  • To pass over the mistakes of others.
  • To accept insults and injuries.
  • To accept being slighted, forgotten, and disliked.
  • To be kind and gentle even under provocation.
  • Never stand on one’s dignity.
  • To choose is always the hardest. And best.

The evil in this world will continue to be a struggle from now until we reach Heaven’s gates. We will have minimal power over what they might be or where they will happen, but how we act and react to crises is entirely within our power.

Let us be a people that act and react in and through crises with grace, decency, and kindness. The world has a widening depletion of women and men that will respond in love. If we want to improve this world, let us act in these four areas.

Go in Peace, Chuck