Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Mental Health

A Few Thoughts on Critique

by

CHUCK ALLEN JUNE 8, 2021

I live a pretty public life. I speak in front of thousands of people weekly and offer my thoughts on multiple topics via a coupe of podcasts and this BLOG. I finish every meeting that I lead (other than a worship service) by allowing the participants to ask me anything about anything. I’d say that I am pretty open and certainly occasionally too transparent.

That being said, I’ve received and received my fair share of critique. Some positive, some helpful. I’ve received some hurtful comments and some that were deeply personal. I’ve had folks offer their opinions in agreement with my thoughts and plenty of folks that share their displeasure with those same thoughts. Honestly, I’ve learned that if you speak up, often write, present your opinions publicly, someone will critique you. And, you should expect to be. But don’t expect it always to be fair. Do not expect it to all be helpful. It simply is a reality.

Over the past few years, I’ve grown more vocal with my thoughts on things that matter to me. Things like public education, politics, race relations, immigration, and faith. I think I’ve grown more concerned and more vocal about all the things you are encouraged not to discuss at the Thanksgiving table.

Let me first offer some advice to those that are being or have been critiqued. Develop a thicker skin while simultaneously growing a softer heart. I promise you that that process will serve you well. It has me. But it is not very easy to do. Thicker skin allows you to receive challenging instruction, correction, and even personal attacks. A soft heart will enable you to see the person as a person, not a country to occupy. A softer heart allows for you to hear, feel and experience their concern. That alone is 3/4 of the battle. After that, I offer this simple piece of well-learned advice.

This requires us to get closer to the person or the problem. It involves two steps that open up to a far better experience.

Step One: Always take the high road! You will never regret taking the road less traveled…the high road. This means that we offer an assumption of personal humility. To not be guilty of terminal certainty. The high road is an effort not to fight to prove you are right but rather listen and discuss with the intent to make things right. I am in no way suggesting that it always works, but I can say that it always leaves me far more contented than engaging in a fight.

Step Two: Assume the lowest possible position. Again, not easy to do. Assuming the lowest possible position is when I do not place myself as an authoritarian that is over the person in the conversation, but rather as their equal or even be so bold as to take on the role of a servant. I know that sounds weak, but Jesus taught us that if we want to be great, that we must become a servant – OUCH! Assuming the lowest position will disarm the opposing angst or anger. It allows for you actually to listen, and as needed, fix the problem rather than fixing blame. I promise you that this is a worthwhile effort!

Finally, we live in a world that has gone so radically toward vengeance, justice, anger, and blame that when we allow our skin to thicken, our heart to soften, take the high road and assume the lowest position, we become part of the solutions needed. I refuse to become part of the whiners, grippers and finger pointers when I can actually be part of the solution. How about you?

Let’s face it; we are all surprised, maybe even shocked, when people listen to us. We are completely dumbfounded when real people try to understand with empathy. And when people go out of their way to help resolve or better the situation, it is memorable. I like that term, memorable. Memorable is when I experience an event that is typically a bad experience and it became a healthy, helpful experience. When that happens, it’s memorable and memorable events are shared.

Anybody can be a know it all jerk. Anybody can also look for a reason to prove they are right. Anybody can be defensive and nasty. Our society even celebrates some of that bad acting. But why be anybody when you can be memorable?

Let us strive to be memorable…in a great way. Oh, did I mention that Jesus said that we had to become a servant if we were to be great?

Peace, Chuck

The Church and Mental Health

by

by AChuckAllen 04.20.2021

Like many of my readers, I grew up in an era with zero tolerance for mental illness. We threw terms around that were harmful, hurtful, and disrespectful. We didn’t do that out of some weird bias or odd bigotry, but out of pure ignorance. Today, we all have a better understanding of the significance of our mental and emotional health. But have we stepped into the arena and determined to be a part of the solution instead of saying the usual “somebody ought to do something” line? As for me, I have experienced the oddities of the pandemic, just like you have.

Now is the time to step onto the floor of the arena and determine to
make a difference, and it just might start with you!

First, let’s accept the fact that we all have some sort of anxiety, restlessness, or stress in our life. I haven’t met anyone in the past year that has been able to say that they are stress or worry-free, at least honestly. The power of our brains is astonishing. Our brains are constantly attempting to course-correct our lives, but with enough stressors and insecurities, it can send all of the wrong signals to our bodies.

Did you know that when your brain’s pre-frontal cortex exposes your amygdala, that amygdala kicks into high gear with fear that sends stress hormones coursing through your body? That starts a reaction that creates digestive challenges, rapid heart rates, muscular tingles, and inflammation. None of that sounds good. But here is the good news. You can do something about it! My friend, Julie Homrich, LPC, has been coaching me on the brain and how mental health and spiritual health go hand in hand. She is a really bright human, and I’m continually grateful for our friendship and what she is teaching me. When I came to grips with the fact that we could literally accomplish what Paul wrote in the Bible book of Romans, when he said that we “Should not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our mind, so that we might know the perfect will of God,” I got so captivated that I began an in-depth study to help me understand the correlation with a passage of scripture written some 2,000 years ago and the modern brain.

Romans 12:2 NLT
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

In short, I came to this conclusion: We Need Help!

To keep from remaining in fear, anxiety, and an over-stressed state of mind, we need to know how to be transformed through the renewing of our mind. Maybe you are like me. Maybe you don’t have a severe mental illness, but you are stressed out, maxed out, and occasionally anxiety-riddled. If so, even mildly so, here is a three-step approach that has been scientifically proven to assist you.

1. STOP AND SUSPEND THE PRESENT NARRATIVE. Science has proven that it can take as long as 20 minutes to metabolize the stress hormones sent to our bodies from that fear-mongering amygdala. Stop and suspend your assumptions on the motives, actions, and predetermined conclusions of the present narrative that has your stressors on high alert. Stopping long enough to evaluate before acting is an essential part of coping well and retaining healthy relationships. Stop and allow your mind to ask three questions. 1) What if I didn’t understand the narrative as it was intended? 2) What if the person sharing or group sharing the narrative is in a difficult season or just a terrible day? And 3) What if I am stressed because I am part of the narrative’s problem, and my brain is firing our guilt signals. Suspend the answer and/or action long enough for the stress hormones to clear from your body.

2. ENGAGE IN DOING GOOD. Multiple studies, including a study from Stanford University, have proven that when we take action to help or serve someone else, we are fueling our brain and our soul with dopamine that instantaneously improves our mental and emotional health. If you lead a business, the new economy screams at you that “doing good is good for business.” The new understanding of our brain screams at us doing good is good for us! I know it doesn’t seem like something beneficial to mental health, but both God and science assure us that it is indeed perfect for us!

3. START YOUR DAY WITH PRAYER MEDITATION. I know I just lost half of you, but this is the one thing I would plead with you to do. It’s so simple, and it’s been proven to strengthen our mental and emotional health for centuries. Somehow, in the American culture, we determined we didn’t need that weird meditation stuff. But prayerful meditation isn’t some weird journey with incense and mantras. It is simply quietude, plus solitude, plus mindfulness = peace. I start each day with one question. What am I grateful for, and write it down. I then enjoy about 6 minutes of prayerful meditation through a great, free app, “SOULSPACE.” It is so simple. I listen and pray in a quiet space, and it gets me centered on God’s design for my day and gives me an attitude of gratitude, confidence, and peace. Once again, like serving others, meditation has been scientifically proven to strengthen our brains to transform us into healthy people. How great is that? I am living proof that six minutes each day can radically transform your mind, heart, and soul for good. If you knew me twenty years ago, or more, you might be thinking, “who is this, and what happened to Chuck?” The answer? I’m here, and I’m in the best mental, emotional and spiritual health of my life!

Here is the key. These are simple solutions to a complex challenge. But these three simple steps have proven to make me a far better husband, father, grandfather, pastor, leader, and follower of Jesus. America is a mess, people. We might start with our own mental, emotional, and spiritual health before grumbling more about everyone else’s part of the problem.

I’m also committed to the firm belief that the church desperately needs to tackle mental and emotional health. It is one of the great American crises of the day. We, the church, have the opportunity to stop lobbing bible verse hand grenades at people in crises and offer real, tangible, God-honoring solutions. I’m in no way suggesting that scripture isn’t tangible. I am strongly stating that scripture and science are a hand in glove experience. Mental health is a practical part of Christian discipleship. As we learn to surrender our assumptions and egos to the will of God, we discover contentment. When we are contented, we can, as Paul stated, “do all things through Christ Jesus.” But surrender and contentment require a healthy state of mind and emotion.

It’s like a wheel that keeps rolling. Strive for mental and emotional health. Seek peace in that journey. Keep it sustainable, not just based on feelings. Surrender our lives and discover contented gratitude and boom! There it is, PEACE! That sounds exactly like what Jesus would invest in should He have chosen this generation to walk on the face of the planet. Oh, wait! That’s exactly what He did, as He walked across Israel some two-thousand years ago. Jesus cares about our mental and emotional health – Be more like Jesus!

Go in Peace,
Chuck