Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Mental Health

THREE WAYS TO BEAT THE MONDAY BLUES

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April 18, 2022

“Monday, Monday, so good to me.” The Mamas and the Papas launched that song in 1966. There have been a few changes in the world since ‘66.

But Monday hasn’t changed much. It is still the day that most of us never look forward to.

Monday has a special significance in our culture as the beginning of the week, which influences our mood and our physical, emotional, and spiritual health outcomes

The 7-day week and the meaning we associate with the days of the week is a social construct, and not based on biological or planetary cycles. But a host of negative outcomes, such as heart attacks and strokes, happen more frequently on Mondays as people transition back to the structured routine of the week.

Something about that doesn’t seem right. Furthermore, we shouldn’t give in to that. If it really is a social construct, and we can choose to make Monday better, why not do that?

A 2021 nationwide survey conducted by the Data Decisions Group tracked awareness and behavior related to Mondays and healthy behaviors. While 11% of people report that Monday is “a day to dread”, many people see Monday positively. They view it as an opportunity for a “fresh start” (40%) and a day to “get my act together” (18%).

83% of responders to the survey agreed that starting the week off healthy would help maintain a focus on health for the rest of the week.

Over the past few months, I’ve been radically focused on becoming a healthier husband, dad, grandad and pastor. I’ve learned the following three ways to kickoff my workweek. Please keep in mind that I’m a pastor. As a result, Monday morning could possibly be a bummer of a let down. But I’ve learned to make Monday one of my favorite days of the week.

1. PLAN YOUR WEEK ON SUNDAY EVENING.

You may not want to, but taking ten minutes to review your calendar, make appropriate adjustments, and make a few notes of a few things you need to add and delete to your schedule is one of the most impactful things you can invest ten-minutes in, always.

Make a very short list of four things you MUST accomplish this week. Write them down! Then prioritize them.

Keep that in front of you.

2. Set limits on the amount of time that you will spend that week on social media, television and enthralled with your smart devices.

Simple awareness of the time you spend on these often worthless efforts is half of your personal productivity and peace perspective.

Earl Sweatshirt once said, “Everyone’s like sheep on social media; like, one person starts making noise, and everyone’s like, ‘Hey, yeah!’ and then you got a whole bunch of people making noise at you.”

And, whether you like it or not, the man trying to buy Twitter said, “I think there should be regulations on social media to the degree that it negatively affects the public good.” -Elon Musk

Don’t let the addictive dopamine hit of a like, follow or friend determine your day, week, or attitude.

3. Determine to Rise Ten-Minutes Early Each Weekday.

Rising just 10-minutes early allows you room to do three things – yes I know I sound like a broken record – but this has had such a radical impact on my mental, emotional, and spiritual health. First, write down three things that you are grateful for. Don’t get all spiritual or intellectual on me. Keep it simple, but write it down. Second, read one chapter of the Bible-book of Proverbs. There’s 31 chapters. How ‘bout that? Third, write down 4-5 words that describe the person that you want to be or become this week. Again, keep it clear. Keep it simple. Keep it real.

As the Mamas and the Papas once sang, “Monday, Monday, so good to me. Every other day, every other day. Every other day, every other day of the week is fine, yeah.But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes. But whenever Monday comes, you can find me cryin’ all of the time”

I think I will choose a better Monday. How about you?

Go in Peace, Chuck

NOPE – Not Gonna do It

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AChuckAllen.com

It seems too easy to bash anybody that is leading anything today. Bash the president, the Congress, the Senate, the School Board, the Mayor, the CEO, the pastor, the Oscar Host…You get the idea.

I stopped writing this BLOG months ago because I was frustrated with everything. I prayed through my frustration. Talked through my frustration. Then worked through my frustration. The short end of this story is that I needed to pray, think and talk my way to being capable of working through my frustration. The following is a recipe for how I transitioned from frustrated human to peace-filled and productive, purposeful human.

I spent some time offline and off social media. I spent more time reading, praying, and rediscovered the power of solitude, investment, and trajectory. You must be thinking, here’s another preacher tale or worse, another self-help guide. NOPE, neither.

Over the past few months, I have discovered a more peace-filled and purposeful life stage. And it didn’t require an Apple Watch, super-planner, conference, book, or retreat. It took solitude, investment, and trajectory. Here, let me explain.

SOLITUDE:

We are a people that seem to stay in constant motion and with continuous noise. We fill our lives with such busyness that there is literally no time to know who we are, where we are going, or what we want to be. As a result, we drift into what the world wants us to be. But I’m not suggesting that you have to attend a silent retreat or isolate yourself. Instead, I recommend that you discover three, five-minute pauses in your day to grab solitude. Then, in that solitude, capture your investment and trajectory. Of course, I am assuming you know that solitude also needs to include quietude. That’s it. There are three five-minute pauses for your day that have an old-fashioned pen and a 3 x 5 index card. Pretty simple, right? Remember – Just three, five-minute breaks to SIT (SOLITUDE, INVESTMENT, TRAJECTORY).

INVESTMENT:

Now that you have sorted out a way to grab three, five-minute pauses in your day, grab your pen and index card and capture your investments in YOU! Start with GRATITUDE. Always start with GRATITUDE. On the top of the index card, write down two things you are grateful for today. Nothing must be cute, super intellectual, or spiritual. Just what are you grateful for. See the illustration below. This is my card from this morning. Invest in yourself by inserting GRATITUDE as an essential part of your morning routine (2 minutes). Harvard Medical School places a significant emphasis on GRATITUDE. The following is an excerpt from the hard medical Journal:

FRONT
BACK

“The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness (depending on the context). In some ways, gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, being grateful also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.”

“In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

Faith and science agree that grateful people are far more likely to be more contented and happier. Why not INVEST in your happiness and contentment?

In your solitude pause number one – insert gratitude s an investment in you, your present and future.

Then determine the trajectory of your day, on the same index card. Capture in bullet form a few (typically 5-6) statements that might describe the person you wish to be today. Again, see my illustration. I tend to focus on the cxharacteristics that I believe God might be nudging me toward improvement.

Once I’ve capture my gratitude and my desired person I want to be today, I like to capture one prayer thought that I am asking the Divine to settle in my life.

When I use the term “capture,” it is an effort of be clearly understood that you have given it thought. That you have prayerfully considered it, and you are writing it down on your investment card. The Journal of Experimental Psychology published research that shows how writing your thoughts down can reduce intrusive thoughts about negative events and improve working memory, even the simple act of writing something down lets your brain know you want to remember it.

These three simple steps can, and will change the trajectory of your life, especially when you engage your Creator with a conversation about all of them.

SOLITUDE + INVESTMENT + TRAJECTORY = GREATER PEACE
GREATER PEACE = MORE CONTENTED LIVES AND HAPPIER, HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIPS

To continue the change in trajectory, flip the card over at the end of each day and capture three thoughts.

1. What went well today?
2. What didn’t go so well today?
3. What am I asking God to do in my life tomorrow?

Write them down – file the day away and sleep like a rock.
Wash, rinse and repeat tomorrow.

SOLITUDE – INVESTMENT – TRAJECTORY – JUST SIT

It’s not fancy. It’s not digitized (unless youwant it to be), and it makes a huge difference. Just SIT in Solitude and accomplish these three pauses in each day. If you chose to consider this a version of journaling, I’m cool with that because, according to mental health professionals, journaling is one of the most recommended tools to have a clearer mind and a happier life. It helps to release mental blockades and be more precise about your thoughts. Additionally, journaling helps to understand your desires, priorities, and worries. Multiple studies prove that writing down your thoughts can lead to an increase in well-being and happiness.

1. Solitue – Gratitude
2. Solitude – Invest in who God desires you to be.
3. Solitude – Reflect on your day and place tomorrow into His hands.

So, NOPE, I refuse to join the masses and whine about everything, every leader, and every inconvenience in this life. I’ve stumbled into a simple, sustainable routine to just SIT in solitude for the purpose of investing in the trajectory of my life. As a result, I am more peace-filled and purposeful than any other time in my life. I desire this for you as well. This allows me to focus on my part of our world and prompts me to serve those I can serve in a sustainable, practical, purposeful way.

Maybe this tiny effort, multiplied over thousands of people might make a big collective difference as we all just SIT.

Go in Peace,
Chuck

Happy People Don’t Do These 4 Things

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AChuckAllen

It seems odd to suggest that in this world, you can accelerate happiness in your life. But you actually can create a sense of peace and genuine happiness within your soul if you so desire. If that’s the case, then why are so many people unhappy?

In a recent article from Discovery Magazine, I read the following; “The richest countries are not happiest, the healthiest countries are not always the happiest. The happiest countries are the ones who do have the highest levels of a whole range of things,” says John Helliwell, an editor of The World Happiness Report and professor emeritus of the Vancouver School of Economics. “They include, especially, a willingness to trust each other to work for each other and to come together in times of difficulty.”

From that and our everyday life experiences, we know this to be true. I’ve heard from countless people that “money can’t buy happiness.” Or my favorite, “stuff can only make you temporarily happy.”

I’ve written plenty of things you can do to increase your happiness, but here are four things that genuinely happy people DON’T DO.

  1. Genuinely Happy People Don’t Compare Themselves to Others. Eckhart Tolle once said, “Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love — you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.” Staying in comparison mode will rob you of the lovely soul that the Divine created to be you. God made no mistake when you were created. Every molecule that helps make you the incredible, fantastic you are unique, and wonderful has a purpose that only you can deliver into this world. To compare your awesomeness is a discredit to both you and God. You know what you’re worth, right? Happy folks do because they don’t seek validation outside of themselves. Happy people understand that it comes from a sense of self-awareness — in their way.
  2. Genuinely Happy People Aren’t Selfish, They Serve Others. Every study on the planet proves this to be true. Give a bit of your time, your skill, your kindness, and yourself, and watch happiness wash into your soul. A Chinese saying goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Our passion should be the foundation for our serving others. It is not how much we give away but how much love we put into giving it. It should not be simply a matter of choosing the right thing, but also the importance of deciding what is suitable for us. God said that He loves a cheerful giver. Like all of life…it’s a matter of our hearts.
  3. Genuinely Happy People Aren’t Rigid. Every time I meet a happy person, I seem to discover this truth – they are naturally flexible. If I could add one piece of scripture to the New Testament, I’d add another Beatitude to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. When we remain flexible, we remain less stressed and less anxious. Hence, we are happier. Staying fixed in our certainty can steal the happiness from our soul. Discover the joy and margin found in your flexibility. My addition? Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
  4. Genuinely Happy People Guard Their Yes and No. Happiness is often connected to having a margin in our calendar and schedule. When we say yes to everyone and everything, we might be fueling an addiction to please people. I’ve discovered that this addiction is as powerful as alcohol, cocaine, or nicotine. Without guarding our yes and no answers, we give away our margin, grow frustrated with others, and punish both ourselves and those we love. If you want to choose happiness, guard your yes, and no’s.

Don’t settle for temporal happiness when you were created for meaningful, purposeful, and eternal happiness. Get grounded in your faith, your family, and your community. Then stop comparing yourself to anybody, give yourself away, get flexible, and guard your yes and no.

Peace, Chuck

Two Lessons I’ve Learned Since My Last Birthday

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October 11, 2021

I turned 62 years old yesterday. In the past 365 days I’ve learned so many things about this world, and about me. Out of all the various lessons learned, these two have become the most significant in my life. I pray that they will be an encouragement to you on this Monday..

  1. You only have a few people that truly love you. Invest your life into being the very best you that you can be – for them. I have hundreds of meaningful acquaintances. I have dozens of meaningful relationships. I have a few really good friends. Even fewer extraordinary friends. And then there is my family. I’m beyond blessed. Six daughters, seven grandchildren, and an amazingly wonderful wife. I love what I do, who I serve, and where I live. I’m as perfectly imperfect as you can get, and yet, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. What is the key to this life I am describing? Realizing how incredibly grateful I am and expressing that in the following order: 1) God, I’m grateful for these people today. 2) God, I’m grateful for these two things today. Start every single day with gratitude. I promise you that this small addition to your morning routine will radically change the trajectory of your attitude and your perspective.
  2. Social media isn’t your friend. It will cause you to waste time, act impetuously, present yourself as you are not, and create new insecurity, and lack of security. Determine to cut your social media time to less than 15 minutes each day for one week, then less than 10 minutes the next week. Replace whatever time you would have spent on social media with reading a book or magazine. Maybe even the Bible. This is equally true for your preferred news channel. Both social media and so-called news channels will rob you of peace and joy. Walk away from both of these peace and time thieves.

Both of these simple changes will provide a greater degree of peace, time, joy, and contentment in your life. It really will! If you are like most Americans, you could use a considerable increase of peace, time, joy, and contentment. Why on earth would you not try and invite these four elements into your life?

Peace, Chuck

10 Things I Learned in My 20’s But Believe in My 60’s

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  1. Take care of your body now or you’re going to ache when you’re older.
  2. Don’t waste one second trying to keep up with anyone. Nobody will care in a few years.
  3. What goes up will someday come down. Failure is inevitable. Learn from it.
  4. Forgive more freely and you’ll live more freely.
  5. You’ll never regret spending more time with your family.
  6. Lose your weight and eat healthy now. The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight.
  7. Peace is the greatest commodity in this life.
  8. If you don’t have anything good to say, it’s your fault.
  9. Read your Bible daily and you’ll be happier every day.
  10. If you’re sick, stay home. Nobody wants what you have.

Peace, Chuck

How to Fix the World

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AChuckAllen.com

I know! Who would possibly think you could fix all of the world’s problems in one article? Well, I’m not so naive as to believe that you can improve the world with the following seven ideas, but I’ll guarantee you, these seven would radically make our world a better place to live in.

Seven ways to FIX THE WORLD.

  1. SLOW DOWN. Seriously, slow your life down and get off the hamster wheel. Constant hurry robs you of your peace and happiness. Always running creates health and emotional sink holes in our lives. Science and faith agree on this. Research on naps, meditation, nature walks and the habits of exceptional artists and athletes reveal how mental breaks increase productivity, replenish attention, solidify memories and encourage creativity. The Scriptues remind us of our need to “be still.” I find myself, and many of my circle of friends are addicts. Addicted to productivity to the degree that productivity hacks become our life’s theology. That’s a dangerous slope to live on.
  2. DON’T BE A BUTTHEAD. I’m passionate about this one. If every morning we chose to not be a butt with each other, life would be so much better. Here are a few thoughts that might apply to you.
    – Don’t Be a Butthead to “That Annoying Person in Your Life” – I think of dealing with annoying people like managing a dam on a river. Every annoying thing they do is water flowing into the reservoir. You can manage that by letting water pass over the dam, or you can let it build until the dam breaks. The dam breaking is you being a jerk and screaming, “I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR DIET! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY?!”
    – Don’t Be a Butthead to a Butthead. When presented with butthead behavior, just take a deep breath and put yourself in their shoes. Your responding in kind just escalates whatever negative stuff that’s in the air. If you can help it, do so.
    -Don’t Be a Butthead Because You’re Having a Bad Day. We all have bad days. Maybe your child is sick, a project is late, or a supplier sent parts that were all damaged in transit. Stuff happens to all of us, but not everyone responds by being a butthead. If the bad thing is your fault, own it, and move on. The worst your employer can do is fire you, and I’d rather be fired for messing up (as we all do from time to time) than for being a butthead. The people around you will see that you handled this setback with grace, and it will be remembered. If you handle stress by being a butthead, that will also be remembered.
  3. TURN OFF YOUR DEVICES. Imagine a day without answering every text like your life depends on it. Or stopping at a traffic light without checking your email. How about this – can you imagine talking with your family rather than comparing your likes and follows with everyone else?
    -Your brain will work better. By now most of you have heard of the many scientific studies that show the brain can’t actually multitask. What feels like multitasking to us is actually the brain switching rapidly among tasks. It feels good, and provides plenty of stimulation–something the brain tends to like. But it makes us the opposite of productive.
    -You’ll get better at solving problems. The biggest concern with constant connectedness is that people stop thinking. It’s very hard to think when you’re constantly interrupted, or distracted.
  4. FIND YOUR SACRED SILENCE. Two ideas with this one: 1) Every day, we all need to have a few minutes to meditate prayerfully, and 2) We could all talk less and make less noise. What a wonderful world it would be if we had less noise in our lives?
    –Silence offers opportunities for self-reflection and daydreaming, which activates multiple parts of the brain. It gives us time to turn down the inner noise and increase awareness of what matters most. And it cultivates mindfulness — recognition and appreciation of the present moment.
    – Silence also has physical benefits. “When we’re frazzled, our fight-or-flight response is on overload causing a host of problems,” says Dr. Sullivan. “We can use calm, quiet moments to tap into a different part of the nervous system that helps shut down our bodies’ physical response to stress.”
    – That means, being still and silent can help you: Lower your blood pressure Decrease your heart rate Steady your breathing. Reduce muscle tension. Increase focus and cognition.
  5. LEARN THE POWER OF GRATITUDE. We humans are naturally selfish, greedy, and ungrateful. If we were to experience widespread gratitude, we would become aware that when you are grateful, what you have is more than enough.
    – “In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” – Harvard University
  6. EXERCISE MINIMALISM. When we become grateful, we exercise minimalism. Minimalism is the art, and appreciation of less is more. We stop buying what we do not need, and we stop comparing what we have to everyone else.
    -Minimalism isn’t just a concept that helps us reorganize our homes and lives in a more effective and aesthetically pleasing manner. In fact, minimalism can be a helpful way to combat mental illness of all degrees of severity, from anxiety to schizophrenia and back.
  7. PRIORITIZE JESUS. I know this to be true. When we get Jesus in the proper priority within our life, we will get every other issue right. Notice that I didn’t say, get your going to church life, right? I didn’t say, look more christianly, or talk more like a church person. It’s this simple – properly prioritize Jesus and watch how all the world’s pettiness and angst are replaced with peace, contentment, and gracious living.
    – When asked what was the most important commandment, Jesus dropped the mic, when He said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’ The whole Law and the [writings of the] Prophets depend on these two commandments.”

I never said it would be easy, but it is simple.
Seven personal steps to better the world – immediately!

Peace, Chuck