Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Life and Happiness

Happy People Don’t Do These 4 Things

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AChuckAllen

It seems odd to suggest that in this world, you can accelerate happiness in your life. But you actually can create a sense of peace and genuine happiness within your soul if you so desire. If that’s the case, then why are so many people unhappy?

In a recent article from Discovery Magazine, I read the following; “The richest countries are not happiest, the healthiest countries are not always the happiest. The happiest countries are the ones who do have the highest levels of a whole range of things,” says John Helliwell, an editor of The World Happiness Report and professor emeritus of the Vancouver School of Economics. “They include, especially, a willingness to trust each other to work for each other and to come together in times of difficulty.”

From that and our everyday life experiences, we know this to be true. I’ve heard from countless people that “money can’t buy happiness.” Or my favorite, “stuff can only make you temporarily happy.”

I’ve written plenty of things you can do to increase your happiness, but here are four things that genuinely happy people DON’T DO.

  1. Genuinely Happy People Don’t Compare Themselves to Others. Eckhart Tolle once said, “Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love — you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.” Staying in comparison mode will rob you of the lovely soul that the Divine created to be you. God made no mistake when you were created. Every molecule that helps make you the incredible, fantastic you are unique, and wonderful has a purpose that only you can deliver into this world. To compare your awesomeness is a discredit to both you and God. You know what you’re worth, right? Happy folks do because they don’t seek validation outside of themselves. Happy people understand that it comes from a sense of self-awareness — in their way.
  2. Genuinely Happy People Aren’t Selfish, They Serve Others. Every study on the planet proves this to be true. Give a bit of your time, your skill, your kindness, and yourself, and watch happiness wash into your soul. A Chinese saying goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Our passion should be the foundation for our serving others. It is not how much we give away but how much love we put into giving it. It should not be simply a matter of choosing the right thing, but also the importance of deciding what is suitable for us. God said that He loves a cheerful giver. Like all of life…it’s a matter of our hearts.
  3. Genuinely Happy People Aren’t Rigid. Every time I meet a happy person, I seem to discover this truth – they are naturally flexible. If I could add one piece of scripture to the New Testament, I’d add another Beatitude to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. When we remain flexible, we remain less stressed and less anxious. Hence, we are happier. Staying fixed in our certainty can steal the happiness from our soul. Discover the joy and margin found in your flexibility. My addition? Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
  4. Genuinely Happy People Guard Their Yes and No. Happiness is often connected to having a margin in our calendar and schedule. When we say yes to everyone and everything, we might be fueling an addiction to please people. I’ve discovered that this addiction is as powerful as alcohol, cocaine, or nicotine. Without guarding our yes and no answers, we give away our margin, grow frustrated with others, and punish both ourselves and those we love. If you want to choose happiness, guard your yes, and no’s.

Don’t settle for temporal happiness when you were created for meaningful, purposeful, and eternal happiness. Get grounded in your faith, your family, and your community. Then stop comparing yourself to anybody, give yourself away, get flexible, and guard your yes and no.

Peace, Chuck

Two Lessons I’ve Learned Since My Last Birthday

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October 11, 2021

I turned 62 years old yesterday. In the past 365 days I’ve learned so many things about this world, and about me. Out of all the various lessons learned, these two have become the most significant in my life. I pray that they will be an encouragement to you on this Monday..

  1. You only have a few people that truly love you. Invest your life into being the very best you that you can be – for them. I have hundreds of meaningful acquaintances. I have dozens of meaningful relationships. I have a few really good friends. Even fewer extraordinary friends. And then there is my family. I’m beyond blessed. Six daughters, seven grandchildren, and an amazingly wonderful wife. I love what I do, who I serve, and where I live. I’m as perfectly imperfect as you can get, and yet, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. What is the key to this life I am describing? Realizing how incredibly grateful I am and expressing that in the following order: 1) God, I’m grateful for these people today. 2) God, I’m grateful for these two things today. Start every single day with gratitude. I promise you that this small addition to your morning routine will radically change the trajectory of your attitude and your perspective.
  2. Social media isn’t your friend. It will cause you to waste time, act impetuously, present yourself as you are not, and create new insecurity, and lack of security. Determine to cut your social media time to less than 15 minutes each day for one week, then less than 10 minutes the next week. Replace whatever time you would have spent on social media with reading a book or magazine. Maybe even the Bible. This is equally true for your preferred news channel. Both social media and so-called news channels will rob you of peace and joy. Walk away from both of these peace and time thieves.

Both of these simple changes will provide a greater degree of peace, time, joy, and contentment in your life. It really will! If you are like most Americans, you could use a considerable increase of peace, time, joy, and contentment. Why on earth would you not try and invite these four elements into your life?

Peace, Chuck

Hump Day Happiness

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by Chuck Allen

It’s midweek, and I’ll bet you could use some cheerful news, or at least something humorous. Here you go.

Fifteen things that make me laugh, even if they are ridiculous. Enjoy.

  1. Whenever I watch the Progressive Insurance commercials with Coach Rick coaching up later-aged adults, I laugh. It’s too stinking accurate not to be funny.
  2. I realize it’s old, but Terry, the Office Linebacker, makes me smile. If you don’t remember him, click here.
  3. Now, 15 years later, remembering Abby when she dropped her milkshake in my brand new truck and simply said, “oopsies,” I saw strawberry ice cream dripping from my brand new headliner.
  4. The fact that Fox News has more commercials for toe fungus and catheters than there are people that need either. But when they offer the fact that they even offer “self-lubricating catheters, ” I laugh a bit. Come on, can you imagine a catheter that isn’t lubricated?
  5. Every single time a sideline reporter stops a coach on the way to halftime and they somehow all say the same thing, and the reporter has to recover.
  6. When I think about our daughter Samantha excitedly stating at a baby shower that “I love pedophiles.” when she meant to say petit fours.
  7. Anytime someone says, “Pastor, with all, do respect.” I can see it coming – very little respect.
  8. Each time I read the words “ customer service” at a Delta Airlines ticket counter.
  9. The Babylon Bee. It’s satire at its best. They are equal opportunity offenders.
  10. Recalling the night Jenny and I were attempting to select a date to get married and decided on that evening that “tomorrow” was the perfect day. Charlotte was probably right when she said, “normal people don’t do that.” Fourteen years later, I still smile about that.
  11. When I think of the conversation regarding the Broadway show Hamilton when someone was asked what the Revolutionary War was about…and the answer? “Taxation without respiration.” Bless.
  12. Whenever I stop and remember the closing song after a funeral I preached when they played the song, “I’m Not Good at Much, But I’m Good at Drinking Beer.” I was chuckling inside when that happened, and I just laughed again as I wrote this at 35,000 feet in a Delta jet. See number 8.
  13. When I’m reminded that I have some peculiar sayings like, “broke as Joe’s turkey,” lost as Hogan’s goat, ”or “Oh my stars.” I’m just odd, but I think it’s fun when people ask me about those oddities.
  14. Whenever I watch the completely inappropriate Christmas movie, “Four Christmases,” and Pastor Phil is introduced. That’s too stinking funny!
  15. When I remember the very proper young lady that was part of our daughter’s volleyball team saying that her proper family said it was “window time” whenever someone “tooted” in the car. Yes, I know it’s middle school’ish, but that makes me laugh a bit.

I trust that your Wednesday is better as a result of these downright foolish thoughts.

Peace, Chuck

Three Life Skills Nobody Taught Me

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October 4, 2021, | AChuckAllen.com

You know you are getting to “that age” when you talk about what you’ve learned the hard way. Before you know it, you’ll be explaining how hard you had it as a kid, and kids these days don’t know how good they have it. Yikes! I’m not ready for that stage just yet, but I have learned three life lessons that nobody taught me or could teach me. These lessons were indeed learned in the more complicated way of experience.

  1. It’s always better to make things right, as opposed to proving you are right. Seriously, this is one of those lessons that you can teach, preach and plead. But you learn it the hard way. This one will save you a ton of heartache. To be in the right relationship with someone is far better than being correct.
  2. Arguing with a police officer is never a good idea. You say, how did you not know that? Because I am stubborn, hot-headed, and not the sharpest hook in the tackle box. If an officer in rural South Carolina stops you after midnight, it’s never a good idea to offer your honest thoughts on his quaint little town.
  3. Recognizing a Mountain from a Molehill. I’d heard all my life that you shouldn’t make a mountain out of a molehill, but nobody taught me how to differentiate between the two! Here is the key. Does weighing in, contributing to, or differing with make an immediate difference? Does my injecting more words or opinions actually provide help, encouragement, or truth to the conversation. OR? Am I simply talking more and asking everyone else to listen? I now know that many of my opinions do not add to a solution or truth, they are simply opinions. Knowing which is which helps hugely!

Go in Peace, Chuck

10 Things I Learned in My 20’s But Believe in My 60’s

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  1. Take care of your body now or you’re going to ache when you’re older.
  2. Don’t waste one second trying to keep up with anyone. Nobody will care in a few years.
  3. What goes up will someday come down. Failure is inevitable. Learn from it.
  4. Forgive more freely and you’ll live more freely.
  5. You’ll never regret spending more time with your family.
  6. Lose your weight and eat healthy now. The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight.
  7. Peace is the greatest commodity in this life.
  8. If you don’t have anything good to say, it’s your fault.
  9. Read your Bible daily and you’ll be happier every day.
  10. If you’re sick, stay home. Nobody wants what you have.

Peace, Chuck

Haiti and the Southern Border

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AChuckAllen.com

There are no easy answers to the mess found on our Southern Border. Some problems go back over multiple administrations. I’m not suggesting that any solution alleviates every issue. But come on, man!

Two hundred thousand plus people have been crossing the border due to this administration’s policies. That isn’t what concerns me nearly as much as how we have treated the thousands of migrants who somehow made their way from Haiti to Del Rio, Texas.

When you think about the realities that these poor people have experienced, you must wonder, if these Haitian people do not qualify for asylum, who does? Haiti is in the midst of another crisis. A country riddled with earthquake and hurricane recovery. A country with horrific poverty and filth. And a government that has been poorly led and often ruled by corruption. These people are desperate.

I know that the United States needs controlled border security. I am aware that we can’t salvage everyone. But again, if the Haitians don’t qualify for asylum, who under the blue sky of Texas does? Knowing all of that, the best answer we have is that we are flying them back to Port ‘au Prince? The living quarters under the bridge in Del Rio are light years better than their lives in Haiti. I’ve been there enough and seen it up close.

I’ve been told that as a pastor, I really should not write anymore “politically charged articles.” Come on, man!

While I’m whining a bit, let me also get something off my chest. I’ve spent a fair amount of time on America’s Southern Border and with the men and women in the green uniforms. The U.S. Border Patrol Agents are the very salt of the earth. They are the least paid of all the federal law enforcement officers – the lowest. They are primarily Hispanic-Latino, themselves. They are not the ICE agents you see banging on doors, and they deserve far better than the demonization being thrown at them by Washington. These folks are underpaid, overwhelmed, and understaffed.

I’ve been in the Border Stations and Ports of Entry on our border. I’ve seen the Border Patrol show more compassion and concern for people than most churches do for their communities. They do their job with no appreciation at all. This ridiculous issue about horses and whips is foolishness—shame on our elected officials for misrepresenting these folks in the green uniforms. Horses are necessary because of the terrain. Whips are tools to keep the horses where they belong. Not one shred of evidence points to the Border Patrol doing anything wrong. But pictures of horses and river crossings draw outrage, while many Haitians living under a bridge draw apathy. Unbelievable.

As I wrote earlier, I know that these problems do not have simple solutions. And this is not intended to be political writing, although it will be received that way on both sides. This is a cluster of bad decisions and a historically political hot potato that could be resolved. But that would require some common sense.

Why do we constantly resort to binary thought patterns? Why does it always have to be one extreme or the other? Why not put a bit of compassionate common sense to work here?

Here are a few thoughts:

  1. Vaccinate the thousands of Haitians with temporary housing in between shots. That could have already happened, given the timeframe they have been in Texas.
  2. Expedite asylum hearings for them as they are escaping a disaster.
  3. Redirect much of the funding of the“infrastructure package” to fund additional Border Patrol staffing and expedited asylum hearings.
  4. Redirect all ICE funding and assets to Border Patrol.
  5. Allow faith-based organizations and NGOs to operate in conjunction with Border Patrol to care for as many immigrants as possible. They could hopefully ease some of the care required of the overworked, underappreciated Border Patrol.
  6. Stop playing politics with the border and care for people. It shouldn’t be that hard.
  7. Restrict entry until Border Patrol and legal assistance can be put in place to handle the ongoing, not soon ending crises.

I’m just a pastor in Atlanta, Georgia, but even I can do three things.

  1. Lead my church and community to pray earnestly for the Border Patrol and the Immigrants.
  2. Support the Border Patrol by getting to the border and encouraging them, and offering pastoral support for their families. And remind them that America appreciates them.
  3. Take teams and encourage others to take teams to serve the men, women, kids, and families stuck in the middle of the foolish political bickering. America has roughly 400,000 churches. If 5% of those churches raised $500 each and sent eight people twice, we would have $10mil and an army of 320,000 caring people.

America is better than turning desperate people away and doggone it; she’s better than demonizing her own faithful law enforcement officers. Come on, man!

This article isn’t about President Biden, former President Trump, Obama, or Bush. And it isn’t about donkeys or elephants. This is about people. People doing their best in green uniforms, and people seeking hope in a place where health and safety aren’t radically uncertain.

More to come…

Chuck