Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Life and Happiness

Going To Church Can Help Improve Your Emotional Health

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February 5, 2023

In a world of constant stress and worry, it can be easy to forget the importance of taking time for yourself. Attending church services can be a great way to take a break from your daily routine and invest in your emotional health. Read on to find out how going to church can help improve your mental well-being.

What is the Relationship Between Going to Church and Emotional Health?

Multiple studies suggest a positive correlation between faith, worship involvement, and mental health. For example, one study found that people who attend church regularly are less likely to experience depression.

Another study found that people who attend church are more likely to report a far higher degree of satisfaction with their lives. Additionally, church attendance has been linked with lower rates of suicide, substance abuse, and divorce.

So, what is the relationship between going to church and emotional health? It seems that there is a positive correlation between the two. Church provides a supportive community for its members and helps them develop a stronger sense of purpose. Additionally, the act of attending church can help to reduce stress levels and promote positive mental health.

There are Huge Benefits of Going to Church

There are many benefits to going to church, including improving your emotional health. Church engagement will help you connect with a community of like-minded people who can offer support and encouragement. Additionally, participating in church activities can help you reduce stress and anxiety and boost your mood. By the way, it helps if you discover a church that can encourage you along the journey.

Studies have shown that church involvement is associated with better mental health outcomes. For example, one study found that religious involvement was associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety. Research has shown that religious involvement is linked to increased self-esteem and life satisfaction. Again, it helps if you discover a church that doesn’t bore you to sleep as well.

If you’re struggling with mental health, consider attending a church service or joining a faith-based community. Doing so could help you find the support and guidance you need to improve your emotional well-being. Attending a healthy church can significantly impact your social well-being as well.

When it comes to improving your emotional health, going to church can significantly help. For one thing, church can provide you with a supportive community. This can be especially helpful if you’re going through a tough time in your life. Knowing that people care about you and want to help you can make a big difference.

In addition, church attendance can offer you guidance and wisdom. If you’re struggling with a decision or feeling lost, talking to a pastor or counselor at church can help you find your way. They can offer advice and support that can help you improve your emotional health. Be sure to seek out a bible-based, grace-filled church. They are out there, I promise!

Finally, attending church can help you develop a positive outlook on life. Hearing inspiring messages and singing uplifting songs can remind you of the good things in life and help you focus on the future rather than dwelling on the past. Having a positive outlook makes it easier to cope with stress and challenges. Did you know singing can change your mood and outlook in just a minute?

When stressed, our first instinct is to reach out to friends and family members for support. However, sometimes we may not have anyone to turn to or feel our problems are too small to bother them. This is where a church can come in handy. Not every church is a closed community. Many churches can’t wait for you to engage with them and them with you.

Being a part of a church community can help reduce stress in a few ways. First, it can provide a support network of people who are always there for you, no matter what. Secondly, churches typically have many different programs and services that can help you deal with whatever is causing your stress. And finally, simply attending church services and participating in religious activities can help you find peace and calm in your life.

When you go to church, you are surrounded by a supportive community. In addition, attending church can help improve your mental well-being by allowing you to reflect on your life and find meaning and purpose. Doing so can help reduce stress and anxiety and promote positive thinking and emotional health. When looking for a church that can provide these things, recognize how “welcome home” they make you feel once you walk into the building.

The Bible also encourages us by teaching that we should not forsake gathering together for worship segments of our faith lives. So, as I close, we can see, once again, that faith and science agree that attending a healthy church regularly is good for you, your soul, and your emotional well-being. Go to church this week!

Go In Peace, Chuck

4forFRIDAY with Chuck Allen

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February 3, 2023 | by AChuckAllen

Week five of 2023 is almost in the books, and it has been a great week.
Here are your 4forFRIDAY reviews for February 3, 2023.

Four Lessons That I Learned This Week.

  1. I learned that you could strengthen your “peace” by instilling spiritual disciplines as a form of exercise, just like you can increase your physical strength by instilling weight lifting as a form of exercise for your body – scientifically proven and biblically supported.
  2. Regardless of which party controls the House or Senate, we’ve become a country led by whiners.
  3. Never underestimate the power of being kind to someone you do not know. It can change their day!
  4. When you commit to making a small positive change over 30 days, you will exponentially improve your life over 12 months.

This Week’s 4forFRIDAY

A Powerful Article: 10 Ways to Sabotage Your Marriage (Without Realizing It)

A GREAT Album from Brandon Lake: House of Miracles, Especially “Gratitude”

A GREAT Article from Inc. Magazine: Emotionally Intelligent People Use 2 Simple Words to Build Confidence and Work Better (and Get Others to Work Better Too)

Another GREAT Article: Need Bedtime Peace? 10 Verses to Help You Sleep

A POWERFUL PODCAST from Brené Brown: Leadership is a Relationship

A Quote from the Positive Talk Podcast:

Our brains were created to reflect what we focus on and who we spend time with. This is why some people say, “Want to see who you’ll become in 5 years?” Look at the 5 people you spend the most time with.  

Go in Peace, Chuck

Why UVALDE Still Matters

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On May 24, 2022, evil stepped into Robb Elementary School and took the lives of 19 children and two teachers. Pure evil is the best way to define the senseless massacre of these precious children. I’ve been to Uvalde five times since the shooting, and each time I return, I’m reminded that evil could show up at almost any school in America and do the same thing. In most of the United States, measures have been put in place to make a similar attack much more difficult. I say more difficult because Uvalde was, and is so unique.

After reading the Texas Department of Public Safety’s final report regarding the shooting, I was struck by the systemic failure at every level. The most glaring failure wasn’t the police, school, or city, or leaders. The most glaring failure was a society that left a dirt-poor little city to fend for itself. Uvalde is a border town in Texas, and as such, it has a blend of primarily Latino citizens and blue-collared men and women. These are some of the most gracious, loving people I have ever been around. But let’s face it, in the hustle of this world, a little town like Uvalde is left in the dust. Yes, there were failures, but at the end of the day, you can trace every failure back to the fact that Uvalde is a city that nobody cared about. That is until they were the headline of the week in May 2022.

Like most things in America, a crisis happens, and the news anchors show up in droves. The cameras seek the worst possible story with the most graphic and accommodating video. They stay for a few days, then chase the next crisis, like tornado chasers in Kansas. Then a few weeks go by, and they descend again on the crisis area with reports of who is at fault and videos of people leaving courthouses trying to cover their faces. Then poof! They’re off again. After the media and political circus leave, the poor people of the crisis are left to sort out life as the rest of the world moves on.

But how do you move on from children shot so many times with high-powered ammunition that were only recognized by DNA results? How do you move on from the finger-pointing and media onslaught when you are a small city with limited resources and an entire world looking for your faults?

I’m jaded, I guess. I fell in love with this little city and its people. I found friends who share the common ground of decency, honor, integrity, and love. I’ve built lasting, meaningful relationships with leaders who care deeply about Uvalde’s future. I’ve seen the hurt up close, and I’ve felt people’s skepticism when you say you’ll be back with more help. Each time I can feel their stare as you say, “see you next time.” That stare is the one that burns into your soul the feeling that they’ve been lied to, over-promised, and under-delivered for decades. That is a systemic failure. As political leaders are fond of saying these days – full stop!

Enter Crossroads Academy. A school for dropouts. Last week, a team from Sugar Hill Church brought Christmas for about 160 kids – and their kids – and their parents. You read that correctly. Many of these kids dropped out of school and have their own kids. Hence the dropping out. They get on a bus from where they are sofa-surfing with their little ones and drop the babies off at childcare, go to school, work, and then to their kiddos. If you think it must be hard, you cannot imagine their stories.

One little girl is back in school and attended our party. She opened a box of diapers and just started weeping. She said, “I haven’t had a Christmas present since I was eight years old.” Then she learned that the diapers were essential and that she had a new set of clothes, shoes, and a purse just for her. And her baby had plenty as well. One young man graduated while our team was on the ground, and he is ready to contribute to making Uvalde stronger. One teacher was trying to find a student to give a gift to and was instructed that the gift was for her. She said, “nobody ever does anything for us.” The overwhelming question was this, “why are you all doing this?” The answer? Jesus said, LOVE ONE ANOTHER. He said that if we serve the least of these, we are actually serving Him.

Uvalde matters because the political circus left town and couldn’t care less. The media circus left town and won’t return unless something horrific happens. Nobody cares about the repaired buildings, new grounds, courts, and facilities provided in the wake of the massacre, but we should care. The government has proven that they cannot or will not step in to make a big deal about Uvalde unless it fits their political narrative – either way.

That is why a church from Sugar Hill, Georgia, has been making good on promises to Uvalde, Texas. Because the people that claim to love Jesus must act on that love and make the world a more loving, grace-filled place. Uvalde matters because these kids matter. The educators, administrators, counselors, and coaches matter. Uvalde matters! I’ve invited more than a dozen churches to participate in the work in Uvalde. I haven’t asked them for a dime, just people and prayer. Not a single church has stepped into the fray as of yet. Please hear me. I know that every church isn’t equipped to go and do this work, and not every church should. But friends, whether it is Uvalde or Sugar Hill, we must care enough to serve hurting people! Uvalde matters because those folks need to know that America doesn’t see them as a newsreel but as people that God loves. Uvalde matters because they represent all of us. We are all potentially one day away from needing the rest of America to help.

I’m honored to be a small part of rebuilding Uvalde, and I thank God for the men and women that are serving in the schools of Uvalde, Texas. They are serving in some really difficult seasons and are champions. The champions that are the faculty of Crossroads Academy are some of my favorite people on the planet, and I pray for them each morning that God would infuse them with strength, wisdom and power.

Uvalde matters because people matter. God’s ultimate purpose is people. The redemption of mankind. If you are desirous to be a part of God’s plan for your life, you, too, will be about people. That’s why Uvalde matters.

Chuck

It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like…Hectic

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Guarding Your Soul This Christmas. By Chuck Allen

I love this time of year, or at least I’ve convinced myself that I do.

I often think that I reminisce of how I’d like to remember Christmas more than I actually love this most wonderful time of the year. With the kids jingle-belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer, well that’s just a line of bull. I have yet to hear anyone jingle-belling, and no person I’ve been around over the past 3 weeks has been sharing good cheer. As a matter of fact, I’m busier than I’ve ever been and everyone I know is stressed to their limit.

But that shouldn’t make for a blue, blue Christmas. It just might need to remind us of what makes this the hap, happiest season of all.

For centuries, we have all basically agreed that what makes this season so wondrous is 1) Christ’s birth, 2) family, and 3) presents. But what if Christmas means a little bit more?

What if Christmas means freedom, peace, and hope?

  1. Christ has come to free us from the tyranny of sin and death. That’s true freedom!
  2. Jesus came to reign and rule as the Prince of Peace. We all need more peace in our lives.
  3. The Son of God came to offer hope for tomorrow and the reality of Heaven.

Okay, Chuck, that’s enough preaching. I need a little help here. Do you know how busy I am? I have no idea how I’m going to get everything done. I cannot be in three places at one time.
There isn’t enough of me to go around, and the expectations are through the stinking roof.
I hear ya! So, here are
FIVE WAYS TO GUARD YOUR SOUL THIS CHRISTMAS.

  1. STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE! Create a prioritized list of tasks. Then assign days and times to them. Be sure you prioritize each day’s tasks. When you think of a new task, place it in a “parking lot.” A parking lot is a separate page that captures your must do’s to prioritize to a time and day. If you don’t learn this simple habit, your mind will run wild and your negativity bias will run amuck in your head. Make a list, then prioritize, update every evening for the next day. Capture those nagging reminders in your parking lot and move them to tasks as you plan each day. To create a good working list for December, plan for a 20 minute timeframe. To prioritize daily, plan for less than 10-minutes. Stop the merry-go-round and prioritize your tasks. It will change you life!
  2. LET IT GO, LET IT GO! It’s been determined that 90% of what we fear never actually happens and the remaining 10% is most often out of our control. To fear that which probably will not happen is a fool’s errand. To fret over that which you cannot control is to invite stress and anxiety upon you. Let it go! Take hold of what you can control, and that is your attitude and how you respond to adversity and fear. The single greatest way to confront fear is to invest in faith. That’s where the next three items come from.
  3. DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR? Engage in mindful quietude each morning. This might be the single best piece of advice that I’ve written for you. We are a people surrounded by noise, and most of it is our own doing! The rest is created by a world that is paid to grab our attention. Still your soul and use a solid meditation app, like SoulSpace or Glorify. Research has proven that just 5-minutes of mindful quietude can provide huge mental, emotional, and spiritual benefits. If you are running hard and chasing the dream, you’ll eventually hit the proverbial wall. STOP! Crawl out of bed, or finish your evening with 5-6 minutes of mindful quietude and watch how much more at peace you experience in your soul this Christmas.
  4. IN THE MEADOW YOU CAN BUILD A SNOWMAN! I live in Georgia, so it’s not a snowman, but I can build steps. I am living proof of a person that said for years, “I don’t have time to walk.” Well, I don’t have time to live in stress, anxiety, fear, or fret either. The science is in – walking, for most people is as good for you as running. FOR ME, IT CLEARS MY HEAD, AND GETS ME CENTERED WHERE GOD WANTS ME CENTERED FOR THE DAY!

    Harvard Health said it this way:
    • Walking counteracts the effects of weight-promoting genes. Harvard researchers looked at 32 obesity-promoting genes in over 12,000 people to determine how much these genes actually contribute to body weight. They then discovered that, among the study participants who walked briskly for about an hour a day, the effects of those genes were cut in half.
    • Walking helps tame a sweet tooth. A pair of studies from the University of Exeter found that a 15-minute walk can curb cravings for chocolate and even reduce the amount of chocolate you eat in stressful situations. And the latest research confirms that walking can reduce cravings and intake of a variety of sugary snacks. This should help level out those holiday mood swings!
    • Walking eases joint pain. Several studies have found that walking reduces arthritis-related pain, and that walking five to six miles a week can even prevent arthritis from forming in the first place. Walking protects the joints — especially the knees and hips, which are most susceptible to osteoarthritis — by lubricating them and strengthening the muscles that support them.
    • Walking boosts immune function. Walking can help protect you during cold and flu season. A study of over 1,000 men and women found that those who walked at least 20 minutes a day, at least 5 days a week, had 43% fewer sick days than those who exercised once a week or less. And if they did get sick, it was for a shorter duration, and their symptoms were milder.

  5. MARY DID YOU NO! Okay, bad dad pun. But here’s the real deal. Using the overcommitted Christmas season to learn the fine art of saying NO will help you in so many ways. Most of us are people pleasers to varying degrees and learning to say no can save us from ourselves this holiday season. Much of the frustration in my life is created by me, and most of it is because my pride, and pleaser mechanisms are still learning to build healthy boundaries. Boundaries aren’t just fences to keep things out, they are also to keep the right things in. When I allow my ego, pride or desire to please run wild, I create an unsustainable life. At Christmastime, it is heightened to the breaking point. Save yourself a huge frustration and predetermine a few key boundaries which will set the pace for what you will say yes to, and some that you need to say offer a no to. You’ll be a much happier human for Christmastime!

It can still be the most wonderful time of the year, but you have to take control of your season for that to happen. I trust these simple steps will help you experience your greatest Christmas season ever.

Go in Peace, Chuck

WHEN GRATITUDE EXITS, THE WRONG THINGS HIT THE FAN by Chuck Allen

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“Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift.
It liberates us from the prison of self–preoccupation.”

–John Ortberg

For years, I have been an evangelist of gratitude. Not because I live a Pollyanna, positive-thinking lifestyle, but because of what intentional gratitude did to change my very existence.

I’ve written extensively about my consistent struggle with depression and emotional health. That’s not my point today. It is, however, a reminder that in a world where recent polls show that, “Mental illnesses are among the most common health conditions in the United States. More than 50% will be diagnosed with a mental illness or disorder at some point in their lifetime. 1 in 5 Americans will experience a mental illness in a given year,” we need a proactive reframing of our present conditions.

In a recent article entitled “Causes of Depression,” the following were the leading factors in a person experiencing the many varying degrees of this often debilitating emotion:

  • Abuse. Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can make you more vulnerable to depression later in life.
  • Age. People who are elderly are at higher risk of depression. That can be made worse by other factors, such as living alone and having a lack of social support.
  • Certain medications. Some drugs, such as isotretinoin (used to treat acne), the antiviral drug interferon-alpha, and corticosteroids, can increase your risk of depression.
  • Conflict. Depression in someone who has the biological vulnerability to it may result from personal conflicts or disputes with family members or friends.
  • Death or a loss. Sadness or grief after the death or loss of a loved one, though natural, can increase the risk of depression.
  • Gender. Women are about twice as likely as men to become depressed. No one’s sure why. The hormonal changes that women go through at different times of their lives may play a role.
  • Genes. A family history of depression may increase the risk. It’s thought that depression is a complex trait, meaning there are probably many different genes that each exert small effects, rather than a single gene that contributes to disease risk. The genetics of depression, like most psychiatric disorders, are not as simple or straightforward as in purely genetic diseases such as Huntington’s chorea or cystic fibrosis.
  • Major events. Even good events such as starting a new job, graduating, or getting married can lead to depression. So can moving, losing a job or income, getting divorced, or retiring. However, the syndrome of clinical depression is never just a “normal” response to stressful life events.
  • Other personal problems. Problems such as social isolation due to other mental illnesses or being cast out of a family or social group can contribute to the risk of developing clinical depression.
  • Serious illnesses. Sometimes, depression happens along with a major illness or may be triggered by another medical condition.
  • Substance misuse. Nearly 30% of people with substance misuse problems also have major or clinical depression. Even if drugs or alcohol temporarily make you feel better, they ultimately will aggravate depression.

Holy Cow! After reading through that list, you realize that we are all candidates for experiencing some measure of depression – especially during the holidays!

Let me be clear. Significant depression requires professional care. If you are in the state of Georgia and you are living the challenge of depression, please reach our to ClearPath Counseling. The team of therapists and counselors at ClearPath are the best in the business, and they desire to help you make finding and receiving assistance simple and affordable.

In the meantime, we all could benefit from the emotional, physical and spiritual benefits of creating a simple and sustainable system of INTENTIONAL GRATITUDE in our daily lives. here’s why:

Before I even touch on the spiritual benefits, read these quotes from the National Alliance for Mental Illness.

“…. many studies over the past decade have found that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed….” Learn more from Gratitude Changes You And Your Brain (Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine).

In a study, “one group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.” Learn more from Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier (Harvard Health)

“There’s a growing body of research on the benefits of gratitude. Studies have found that giving thanks and counting blessings can help people sleep better, lower stress and improve interpersonal relationships….” Learn more from If You Feel Thankful, Write It Down. It’s Good For Your Health (NPR)

“A large study conducted by Virginia Commonwealth University showed that thankfulness predicted a significantly lower risk of major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, phobia, nicotine dependence, alcohol dependence and drug abuse….” Learn more from When Looking for Happiness, Find Gratitude, Gratitude (NAMI)

“…. experiments have shown that people whole partake in the “three good things” exercise — which, as the name suggests, prompts people to think of three good moments or things that happened that day — see considerable improvements in depression and overall happiness, sometimes in as little as a couple weeks….” Learn more from 7 Surprising Health Benefits of Gratitude (Time)

Just a reminder that none of these quoted sources are exactly bastions of spiritual health.

Gratitude, my friends, is a significant theme in the Bible. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 in the NLT is pretty clear:
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Did you read that? Give thanks in all circumstances. Thankfulness should be a way of life for us, naturally flowing from our hearts and mouths. And when it is, it has the power to reshape our emotions and hearts each day.

It is pretty significant that Paul doesn’t tell us to give thanks for everything. The preposition used is the Greek en, which is translated by the English preposition in. Paul isn’t saying that we must be thankful for the difficulties we encounter; instead, he is challenging us to be grateful in any circumstance. Paul recognized that the secret of peace, joy, and contentment isn’t found in circumstances. Instead, there is peace, joy, and contentment is directly found in recognizing it is Christ who strengthens us for whatever we might face.

I once thought that this was simply a mindset issue. That I could simply try harder to think more thankfully, or positively. That is simple hogwash. A growing body of research shows that writing down (physically) what you are grateful for can lower stress, help you sleep better, and may even reduce the risk of heart disease. Write it down!

When I started writing down – every single day – the three things that I am grateful for, my life started to radically improve. I was far more engaged with God, and He was obvious in sharing with me, His pleasure. I was calmer, more contented, less stressful, and a far better human to live and work with – far better!

I use a simple, sustainable system. I write on a plain 3×5 card each day three things I am grateful for that morning. It takes less than one minute. Be real, not super-spiritual. My thre this morning were quite real;
1) I finally got my new iPhone – love it.
2) My 12 year-old car is super clean and filled with fuel – woo-hoo!
3) God answered a significant prayer this week and I am so stinking grateful!

It’s not hard – Just three things that come to the top of your mind – Do not overthink it!

I then capture 4-5 qualities (adjectives) that describe the person I think God is asking me to be or become today. My examples from this morning included, SIMPLE, TRUTH-FILLED, APPRECIATIVE, HELPFUL, QUIETER. Some change often and some stay around a week or more. Again, don’t overthink it!

I them write a short scripture that I am attempting to memorize during the week (Sun-Sat).

That’s it! In total, I spend less than 5-minutes on this exercise. I’ve been at this for years now. And here is the good news.

I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE CONTENT, FULFILLED, PEACEFUL, AND HAPPY in my entire life. I know for a fact that putting intentional gratitude into my daily routine changed everything. I have had the privilege of helping a lot of people do the same, and every one of us can give you the same story – IT JUST WORKS!

In a world and a season that id fraught with anxiety, stress, weariness, and depression, you have everything to gain with this sustainable practice is proven scientifically, psychologically, and spiritually to greatly improve your life.

GET AFTER GRATITUDE!

“The greatest source of happiness is the ability to be grateful at all times.”

-ZIG ZIGLAR

Go in Peace & Gratitude, Chuck

ASLAN COACHING: Helping people build balance, purpose, and peace into their lives by instigating a better way to approach the challenges of todays hectic, stress-filled pace!
For information on how Aslan Coaching can help you,
send an email to chuck@aslancoaching.com

CAPTAIN COMPASSION

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I have learned to love the word COMPASSION.
Unfortunately, I haven’t always loved it. I spent a great deal of my life with a self-filled condition that locked my heart from experiencing compassion I’m not proud of it. I am embarrassed of that truth During a a difficult season people came and helped me with acts of compassion that changed my life.

Compassion is defined as the recognition of another’s suffering
and a desire to alleviate that suffering  

My friend Julie Homrich, a psychotherapist, and I record a weekly podcast in which we merge faith and psychology In our most recent recording, we had a conversation about compassion Here are a few thoughts that she shared on this week’s Positive Talk Podcast:

“If you’re someone who, like me, heard about the shooting at Robb Elementary and felt both overwhelmed and frozen at first, I want to normalize that for a moment.
We talk a lot on this podcast about the fight/flight/freeze response, which happens whenever our nervous system feels threatened. So if you’re watching media coverage about a school shooting and you have a child of any age that attends a school— that feels threatening, right? Your nervous system is responding appropriately for that moment. The challenge is that many of us get STUCK in that nervous system response and don’t move THROUGH it. This keeps us in this low-level state of fear and anxiety instead of moving through that initial response into a state of compassion which leads to action I think many of our listeners can relate to this… after something tragic like that happens we just stay in this state of suppressed anxiety and don’t know what to do with it.”

POSITIVE TALK PODCAST: merging faith & psychology

I’ll bet that we have all been there. Friends, we have been created with an internal drive to move from feeling to action. That is why I have learned how critical it is to allow your soul to put this internal feeling of compassion into external action.
Again, Julie Homrich has a fresh thought on this compassion we feel:

“Once we notice a need or see a crisis like what happened at Robb elementary, an interesting thing happens in the brain. Our threat circuitry kicks in and up. We call it, empathetic distress, here we start to feel a bit of pain for someone else. Unfortunately, many of us get stuck in empathetic distress. When research scientists have studied compassion, they find that this process unfolds as we are moved to compassion, but that process can collapse at different points along the way.

Staying stuck in empathetic distress is not only unhelpful for society but it isn’t good for us either— we continue to walk around feeling anxious with no alleviation of that distress by avoiding and
not acting with compassion.

“Why do we do this? Well, several things can collapse the compassion process. We may minimize the crisis with the thought that it’s not really that bad. We might catastrophize the crisis, in that there is nothing I can do to help. We may have biases that keep us from engaging or we may begin to blame other people, or a lack of mental health accessibility or guns, or the president. Blaming is our mind’s way of shifting responsibility off of us because we either don’t know what to do or we do not think we can do about that. If you are prone to blame, recognize that is most often an attempt to shift responsibility. One remedy is to pause and ask yourself, “I cannot change them but what is my responsibility – right now at this moment?”

Please read these words closely, ; PUTTING COMPASSION INTO ACTION IS VERY GOOD FOR OUR MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND PHYSICAL HEALTH Again, my friend Julie offers these thoughts:

“God created our bodies to operate
at their best when we are showing compassion”

Get this, compassion is good for the hearts of those we serve, but it is GOOD for OUR hearts as well. Our bodies produce a hormone called oxytocin. When we show compassion, our physical hearts have built-in receptors for oxytocin. When oxytocin levels are high (when we are feeling and experiencing compassion), our heart receptors take in the oxytocin. Oxytocin helps our heart cells regenerate and heal from the damage that may have occurred through our lifestyle or even genetics. Oxytocin also serves as an anti-inflammatory and antioxidant. It’s called the cuddle hormone because it is released by touch and helps us feel connected to whatever is right in front of us.” That is just one more way in which we can see a godly view of life connected with a psychological view of life.

“In compassion, when we feel with the other, we dethrone ourselves from the center of our world and we put another person there.”

– Karen Armstrong

All of that leads me to the story I want to share with you today.

In my recent trips to Uvalde, Texas, I have met many extraordinary people, but one man has activated my compassion into action. Now and then, we meet someone that lights us up and moves our hearts toward being a better human. I met that guy in Uvalde.

Dr. Hector Lopez grew up in Uvalde, Texas. While in high school he, like many young Hispanic kids, dropped out of school to earn a living. While experiencing life as a high school dropout, his family moved to Chicago, where he went back to school, completed his high school degree, and then went on to college and earned his doctorate.

Dr. Lopez moved his family to Uvalde to take on a compassion-led task. He took on building and running a high school that serves students that once were dropouts.

That may not have registered with you, so allow me to state that again. A man with an earned Ph.D. voluntarily chose to serve as a principal of a “dropout high school.”

Crossroads High School serves kids that have not only previously dropped out of school, but many of them dropped out to raise their own kids. As a result of the May 24 shooting at Robb Elementary School, and the ensuing plans to demolish that school building, Crossroads was displaced to a maintenance facility. To say that these high school kids have nothing is a vast understatement – They have nothing, but the love of a principal and his team.

“Give Compassion: Every day the average person fights epic battles never told just to survive.” 

– Ken Poirot

When I first met Dr. Lopez, I was amazed at his deep love for “his kids,” and “his faculty.” He could be a professor at a prestigious university, but chose to give of himself, and serve hundreds of kids over the past five years at Crossroads. He welcomed me into his world and quickly conveyed that he didn’t want to be a burden as so many other schools needed help as well, but one more time – they have nothing!

The parking lot is tiny and weed-filled. The grass, what little there is, was 2 feet high and completely unkempt. The three mobile units have a great lack of paint, and what paint still remains is peeling. The soffit is half attached and most of the siding is rotten.

I don’t say all of this to ask you to do anything. I am telling you this story to remind you what everyday people can do to make a radical difference. When Dr. Lopez’s story was told, and our team was in a position to hear it, compassion moved to action. When Julie unpacked this in the podcast, she offered this wisdom:

“Compassionate people are some of the grittiest, toughest, and most determined people because they are willing to enter into empathetic distress and move through it. To move beyond fear and uncertainty and self-doubt, into action. Brain studies of those experiencing compassion show that there are multiple areas of the brain being activated when someone feels compassion- there’s an area of distress but there’s also the area of hope – activated. When you are experiencing compassion and have that sense of connection to suffering, either your own or someone else’s, we see a very strong neural response connected to hope.” Therefore, ask yourself this question:

“Do I want to live an easy life
without deeper purpose
or do I want to take the risk to enter into a state of compassion and experience the depths of hope and
the connection that comes with that risk?“

As for me, I never feel more alive than when I am moved beyond the feeling of compassion, into the action of compassion. As I have spent time in and around Uvalde, I’ve been moved to act on compassion. Being around Dr. Lopez, I have been encouraged and my courage has been bolstered around this humble, gracious leader. Here is the real question. What is it that has occurred in your life that has moved you to compassion lately? If nothing is moving you to compassion, ask yourself these two questions:

  1. Am I (like Chuck has been) too self-absorbed to even sense compassion?
  2. Am I so busy with the natural flow of life that I cannot stop long enough to feel any compassion?

If the answer to either of those questions is even close to a yes, then you are literally robbing yourself of personal health, peace, and courage. You are most likely robbing yourself of emotional and physical healing. And you are definitely robbing yourself of the blessings that are yours when you draw near folks that are brokenhearted. God says that He draws near the brokenhearted and I want to be near God, don’t you? The closer I am to the Divine, the closer I am to His blessings. Put all of this together and who knows?

Maybe you, like Dr. Hector Lopez are the next in line to serve others in the role of Captain Compassion!

I’m certain that Dr. Lopez will someday read this and be amused that anyone might consider him in such a way. He is a brilliant man, wrapped in a lot of humility. That seems to be the very genesis of compassion – HUMILITY. And that leads us back to the two questions asked earlier.

Go in Peace, Chuck