Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Life and Happiness

Kindness Starts with One

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kindness

Kindness Starts with One by ACHUCKAllen

Have you ever thought that no good deed goes unpunished? Me too. I’ve heard that phrase for years. Every time someone does some act of kindness and the return on that kindness is less than anticipated, the phrase comes running out of their mouth…” no good deed goes unpunished.”

Here’s the problem in that thinking. We most often act in kindness because we are moved emotional, spiritually or even physically. If we were to stop and ponder if the act of kindness would return a yield of 10 times kindness earnings, we would be a pretty cold and calloused people, right?

The problem with acting or reacting with kindness is a pretty strong indicator of your heart. Jesus had a few awesome stories when it comes to participating in an act of kindness, whether it is random or not.

Take the Parable of the Good Samaritan. There were no attaboys or social media outlets to capture the kindness offered to the most unlikely person. Nobody there to capture a quick pose helping a helpless man left for dead.

What if we were a people that were prone to offering kindness, like that Good Samaritan, simply because it was the right and righteous thing to do? What if we were to be a people that were determined to do the merciful thing even if the only attaboy we were to receive was the Spirit of God patting us on the back?

If you’ve known me more than 10 years, you might be asking who was my guest blogger today? The truth is that I squandered hundreds, maybe thousands of opportunity to act more like Jesus and act in simple kindness.

I cannot rectify those squandered opportunities, but I can set my course on being fully present and fully aware that I can impact my world significantly with a few random and intended acts of simple kindness. How about you?

–AChuck

If You Want a Great Day

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HAVE A GREAT DAY!

IF YOU WANT A GREAT DAY by ACHUCKAllen

We’ve all had “those days.” You know what I’m talking about. The days that you feel like everything just explodes on you with the foul stench of negativity. The kind of day when you aren’t sure why, but you just can’t get over the roar that you hear in your head that is screaming for you to lose it with whoever is the next person in front of you. I’ve had plenty of those days as well, but I’ve also learned a few things that minimize the number of the gross days significantly.

Here are three ways to minimize the number of days that kick you in the hind parts and maximize the number of days that you kick the world’s hind parts. Come on, let’s do this!

  1. I know you are tired of reading these words, but I will promise you that if you will start your day off by writing down 2-3 things that you are grateful for, it will change your life. If you are a regular reader, you know that I started a gratitude journal a few years ago. I KNOW that it has had a radical impact on my life, in every good way!
  2. That’s not an overstatement, that’s a scientifically proven fact. Every study, including Harvard Medical School, says that gratitude has a huge impact on our lives.Here is a quote from the Harvard Med Study: “Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”
  3. Limit the number of tasks on your to-do list, but get the biggest, most challenging task out of the way first! If you are like 99% of Americans, you like the feel of checking your to-do’s off, so you tackle the easiest tasks on your list out of the gate. If you limit the number of tasks to ensure that you stay focused on what matters most, you will rest better, sleep better and remain energized by your accomplishments and success. Mark Twain once said; “Eat a live frog every morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” One of our most powerful emotions is the sense of accomplishment. There is nothing quite like slaying your badest, nastiest dragon first thing!
  4. Learn to take 10 minutes and meditate! I know what you are thinking, “Chuck, dude, you are killing me. If I have to swallow the big frog first, I don’t have time to meditate. Abraham Lincoln said; “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the ax.”Given his task, it seemed to have served him pretty well. Meditation is sharpening your ax to slay the dragon, or eat the frog! In my world, meditation includes four elements, over 20 minutes. You can start with 10 minutes and add to that as your habit forms.
  5. Here is my meditation plan:
    1) Write down three things that I am grateful for. Over the past three years, I have never run out of things to be grateful for.
    2)     Read a short piece of a Bible reading plan (I enjoy He Reads Truth or the plans in YouVerse).
    3) I pray out loud. I know that may not be your thing, but I am distracted easily and I’ve found that praying out loud and with my eyes open helps me “feel like me and the Divine are in a friendly chat.”
    4) Quietude. This was the step in my meditation maturation that took longer to learn. I had to learn the discipline of quietude. It doesn’t take long, but about 3 minutes of quietude can settle your soul to the degree that you can actually “hear” the promptings of the Divine. Just a thought, but I think this is why we have two listening ears and one talking mouth.    The key to having far more days that are great, rather than gross is to learn this discipline of meditation. Maybe your faith system never saw meditation as part of wholeness and health, but you can trust this ancient and biblical meditation habit to set your soul on a course for peace, fulfillment and even happiness.

Sharpen your ax, my friend and see how consistency in the art of meditation changes every aspect of your life for the better!

–AChuck

Why?

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A few of life’s greatest questions:

  • Why should I give?
  • Why should I serve?
  • Why should I sacrifice?
  • Why should I volunteer?

These loaded questions should be pretty simple to answer. Yet somehow they seem to be lacking in our lives. WHY isn’t clear any longer when it comes to things like serving your country. The illusive WHY seems to be non-existent in most of our churches. And WHY has left the station when it comes to the American culture and workforce. I am abundantly confident that WHY is dead in the land of politics and the governance of our republic.

This world is in desperate need for a few courageous leaders that might dare challenge the status quo with a truthful, clear, common and compelling WHY.

Example: Why should we be grateful? Because we haven proven in both faith based and for profit organizations that when we are grateful, we are more productive, more gracious and more truthful. Not to mention that we are far more content. The bonus cherry on top of the sundae is that when we are grateful for what we have, what we have is more than enough.

Here’s another: Why should we volunteer with organizations that are focused on helping people? Because we know that people who volunteer to help people in need are more aware and open to offer life-altering hope for others. And by doing so, they discover a contented life themselves. Who wouldn’t want that?

And just one more: Why should we sacrificially give our financial resources to help others and organizations that help others? Because when we give in such a way that we feel both the sacrifice and the blessing, we recognize that our sacrifice is the single best emotional return on our investment – PERIOD.

WHY also screams out to us in big bold words, written across the sky, THAT YOU NEED A WHITE-HOT WHY! If we want a WHY to what we give away, we must also be capable of answering WHY you do what you do.

Take a few minutes and attempt to write you WHITE-HOT WHY. Then ask yourself, with ruthless truth — Are you living your why?

In a rather transparent moment, let me say that I found this exercise more challenging than I ever imagined it would be. So, here you go…

  1. I am overwhelmed with the power of the Divine when my heart is surrendered to Him. As a result, I want to help folks know that because of what Christ has already done — they can do this. They can love God with all of their heart mind and soul, and be a normal person. Why? Because Jesus never complicated living for Him, we did.
  2. I want to help shrink the high school dropout rate to 0% in our city. Why? Because better equipped students can continue their education and stop the cycle of ongoing poverty in and around our city.
  3. I would love to provide transitional housing and life skill training for single moms in our region. Why? Because the government cannot meet this need. If we want to effectively change the nature of our communities, we will take a quantum leap in doing so by assisting single moms become emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy. As our moms go, so will much of our cities go. And who doesn’t love a contented, loving and peace-filled mom.

I think you get it. We set a course for a better universe when we can simply answer WHY?

Go Find Your White-Hot Why and chase it like you’re life depended on it.

–AChuck

Food for Your Soul on this Sunday

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I read something a few weeks ago that caught my attention. The title of the article was “Pastor, Are You Too Transparent?” I clicked on it and read the article. The gist of the author’s writing seemed a bit jaded, but it was presented well.

The punchline of the article is what left me perplexed. I’m paraphrasing, but it read much like this; “Pastor, you cannot stay so vulnerable. You cannot remain so transparent. If you do, you will open yourself up to all manner of criticism and create division in the church.”

When I read that one statement, I closed the tab on my browser and thought I might offer a few thoughts. All of these thoughts are best captured in FIVE WORDS – What a bunch of poop!

I know firsthand that this world couldn’t care less about our education, ability to read Greek, look great in skinny jeans (I just crossed a line there) or have an intellect that would marvel Einstein.

I know that when you expose a weakness, folks usually already know it’s there. When you open the windows and doors to your heart, folks can relate to you and your own challenges. I know that to share your hurts and worts, folks can engage you at a level far deeper than what you are wearing.

That’s not just true for pastors. That kind of vulnerability allows folks to actually know you and BELIEVE YOU in every facet of your life! I want to believe the best in people. Their ability to be personal, present and vulnerable allows that to happen naturally.

If you are leading a church, business, small group, family or any organization, the single greatest leadership truth you offer is found in this equation: Add an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE to a SERVANT LEADER, toss in a bit of HUMILITY, sprinkle a heavy dose of VULNERABILITY. Then, finish it off with GETTING BACK UP after FAILING, and I’ll show you a leader

You know, not everything on the internet is true, right?

Go ahead, get naked with your emotions and take your lumps. It’s worth it. You might even find your greatest fan or friend in the process.

–AChuck

 

How Now Shall We Live?

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HOW NOWSHALL WE LIVE_

HOW NOW SHALL WE LIVE by AChuckAllen

I read a book by that title years ago. It was written by Chuck Colson. At the time that I read it, I had a difficult time trying to wrap my pride-filled soul around his thesis. At 58 and experiencing some of the worst of this life, and some of the blessed moments of this life, I offer my best version of the question, How Now Shall We Live, as a Follower of Jesus in 2018? It’s short, but then I truly don’t believe that the Divine has made it that hard.

How Now Shall We Live, as a Follower of Jesus in 2018?

  • Let us be found guilty of being gracious people, that lay our pitchforks down and replace them with an olive branch.
  • Let us be found guilty of forgiving what seems to be unforgivable, knowing that if we are to be forgiven, we are to forgive.
  • Let us be guilty of helping the wrong way occasionally in the constant effort to help and help even more.
  • Let us be found guilty of worship that is too loud, too honest, too excited and too passionate for the self-righteous to enjoy it!
  • Let us be too giving and too generous to recognize that our hands were created to live openly.
  • Let us love the unlovable, pray for the wicked and never think too much of ourselves to realize that we are both.
  • Let us serve the least of these, and never, ever believe in our hearts that we are above serving. Greatness is found in the action and attitude of serving the least of these.

How now shall we live? With far less religion, and far more Jesus. This world couldn’t care less about the pomp and circumstance, found in religious dogma or tradition. This world wants to know if Jesus can really change our hearts, attitudes, and actions to the degree that we have been changed.

Go in Peace,
AChuck

Saturday Share with AChuck

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Most Saturday’s, I enjoy sharing another author’s work. This week, I’m sharing a great article: This 1 Simple Exercise Will Change How You Handle Toxic People – How to avoid the 1 mistake everyone makes in dealing with difficult people. By Adele Cehrs

Here’s This Week’s SATURDAY SHARE:  

A big idea. A thirst for freedom. The desire to help others. The drive to reach your own potential. The search for a more interesting life. Entrepreneurs have so many inspiring reasons for taking the leap. But there’s another, less glorious reason many of us strike out on our own: getting away from toxic people.

Here’s a common scenario. You leave a job because the head honcho, or honchette, is poisonous. Your new job is wonderful. Great boss, fun work, terrific team, opportunities for advancement etc. And then suddenly, there’s a new boss. Next thing you know, all the slackers are in his office, kissing his ring, taking credit for other people’s ideas, and getting promoted. At this point, you can suck it up, hit the job boards, or take a brave leap into self-employment.

Unfortunately, toxic people, like flu viruses, are everywhere. As an entrepreneur, you may have to contend with shifty suppliers, deadbeat clients, passive aggressive partners, bad-faith negotiators, know-it-alls, know-nothings, slackers, whiners, liars, drama queens … the list goes on and on.

In my career, I’ve also had my fair share of toxic bosses. From liars to criers — needless to say — dealing with difficult people at any level has its challenges.  As a crisis communications expert, understanding how and when to respond to toxic vitriol is critical to succeeding in business.

Focus on the relationship, not the person.

I recently sat down with the founder of the Brilliance Movement, Simon T. Bailey, life coach, keynote speaker, and author of a number of motivational books, including “Release Your Brilliance.”  Bailey had some fascinating insights about dealing with difficult people.

Where we might see a toxic person, Bailey suggests we focus instead on our relationship to that person. “There are relationships that are assets, there are relationships that are liabilities, and every day we are in a relationship with something,” Bailey points out. “The news we hear and repeat and what we decide to do with that. The meetings we decide to take. The phone calls we decide to have. The choices we decide to make.”

Entrepreneurs are individualists by nature. It makes you bold and self-sufficient, but on a bad day, it’s easy to feel like it’s you against the world. Looking at your world as a web of relationships makes for a more measured and strategic perspective. It depersonalizes conflict and helps defuse anger and resentment. As Bailey points out, “Moving forward requires you to think. If you won’t do the work, if you won’t evaluate and decide, you stay where you are.”

Exercise your tolerance.

Bailey suggests a simple exercise to help you put up with difficult people. Write down the name of someone who really gets under your skin. Then, give yourself sixty seconds to list as many of that person’s negative and positive attributes as you can. “It’s going to be like pulling teeth but it’s also like digging for gold, ” Bailey asserts.  “The mere fact that you wrote all this down doesn’t change that person. It changes you. It changes how you see them, how you invest your time in them.”

The very qualities that make a good entrepreneur, like self-confidence, self-reliance, or self-motivation, can also make us a tad self-absorbed. “I think sometimes, as entrepreneurs, we see people as we are instead of as they are,” Bailey notes. “We have to step back and say, what is right about this person? What makes them amazing?”

Celebrate the small stuff.

Instead of judging people through our own exacting standards, Bailey would have us celebrate what they do right. What gets recognized gets repeated. Entrepreneurs have their own way of doing things, but your way is not the only way. It may not even be the best way. We also tend to have impossibly high standards, but the fact that someone doesn’t quite meet your standards doesn’t make them a bad person.

You can’t always change challenging people, but by changing how you relate to them, you may be able to change the relationship.

As a first step, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Are you stingy with positive feedback?

2. How do you communicate to them what they’re doing right?

3. Can you change your tone and edit your word choice to alter their behavior or coax a better performance out of them?

4. Do you know their learning style?

Perhaps you can communicate with them in a way will make them more likely to “get it.” For example, some people would rather get their marching orders in person, while others prefer a written memo they can mull over and react to.

Ultimately, some relationships will continue to be what Bailey refers to as liabilities. Those are the ones you can safely jettison. Save the hard work of understanding and getting along for those relationships that can benefit you – and your business.

Peace, AChuck

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