Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Life and Happiness

CAPTAIN COMPASSION

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I have learned to love the word COMPASSION.
Unfortunately, I haven’t always loved it. I spent a great deal of my life with a self-filled condition that locked my heart from experiencing compassion I’m not proud of it. I am embarrassed of that truth During a a difficult season people came and helped me with acts of compassion that changed my life.

Compassion is defined as the recognition of another’s suffering
and a desire to alleviate that suffering  

My friend Julie Homrich, a psychotherapist, and I record a weekly podcast in which we merge faith and psychology In our most recent recording, we had a conversation about compassion Here are a few thoughts that she shared on this week’s Positive Talk Podcast:

“If you’re someone who, like me, heard about the shooting at Robb Elementary and felt both overwhelmed and frozen at first, I want to normalize that for a moment.
We talk a lot on this podcast about the fight/flight/freeze response, which happens whenever our nervous system feels threatened. So if you’re watching media coverage about a school shooting and you have a child of any age that attends a school— that feels threatening, right? Your nervous system is responding appropriately for that moment. The challenge is that many of us get STUCK in that nervous system response and don’t move THROUGH it. This keeps us in this low-level state of fear and anxiety instead of moving through that initial response into a state of compassion which leads to action I think many of our listeners can relate to this… after something tragic like that happens we just stay in this state of suppressed anxiety and don’t know what to do with it.”

POSITIVE TALK PODCAST: merging faith & psychology

I’ll bet that we have all been there. Friends, we have been created with an internal drive to move from feeling to action. That is why I have learned how critical it is to allow your soul to put this internal feeling of compassion into external action.
Again, Julie Homrich has a fresh thought on this compassion we feel:

“Once we notice a need or see a crisis like what happened at Robb elementary, an interesting thing happens in the brain. Our threat circuitry kicks in and up. We call it, empathetic distress, here we start to feel a bit of pain for someone else. Unfortunately, many of us get stuck in empathetic distress. When research scientists have studied compassion, they find that this process unfolds as we are moved to compassion, but that process can collapse at different points along the way.

Staying stuck in empathetic distress is not only unhelpful for society but it isn’t good for us either— we continue to walk around feeling anxious with no alleviation of that distress by avoiding and
not acting with compassion.

“Why do we do this? Well, several things can collapse the compassion process. We may minimize the crisis with the thought that it’s not really that bad. We might catastrophize the crisis, in that there is nothing I can do to help. We may have biases that keep us from engaging or we may begin to blame other people, or a lack of mental health accessibility or guns, or the president. Blaming is our mind’s way of shifting responsibility off of us because we either don’t know what to do or we do not think we can do about that. If you are prone to blame, recognize that is most often an attempt to shift responsibility. One remedy is to pause and ask yourself, “I cannot change them but what is my responsibility – right now at this moment?”

Please read these words closely, ; PUTTING COMPASSION INTO ACTION IS VERY GOOD FOR OUR MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND PHYSICAL HEALTH Again, my friend Julie offers these thoughts:

“God created our bodies to operate
at their best when we are showing compassion”

Get this, compassion is good for the hearts of those we serve, but it is GOOD for OUR hearts as well. Our bodies produce a hormone called oxytocin. When we show compassion, our physical hearts have built-in receptors for oxytocin. When oxytocin levels are high (when we are feeling and experiencing compassion), our heart receptors take in the oxytocin. Oxytocin helps our heart cells regenerate and heal from the damage that may have occurred through our lifestyle or even genetics. Oxytocin also serves as an anti-inflammatory and antioxidant. It’s called the cuddle hormone because it is released by touch and helps us feel connected to whatever is right in front of us.” That is just one more way in which we can see a godly view of life connected with a psychological view of life.

“In compassion, when we feel with the other, we dethrone ourselves from the center of our world and we put another person there.”

– Karen Armstrong

All of that leads me to the story I want to share with you today.

In my recent trips to Uvalde, Texas, I have met many extraordinary people, but one man has activated my compassion into action. Now and then, we meet someone that lights us up and moves our hearts toward being a better human. I met that guy in Uvalde.

Dr. Hector Lopez grew up in Uvalde, Texas. While in high school he, like many young Hispanic kids, dropped out of school to earn a living. While experiencing life as a high school dropout, his family moved to Chicago, where he went back to school, completed his high school degree, and then went on to college and earned his doctorate.

Dr. Lopez moved his family to Uvalde to take on a compassion-led task. He took on building and running a high school that serves students that once were dropouts.

That may not have registered with you, so allow me to state that again. A man with an earned Ph.D. voluntarily chose to serve as a principal of a “dropout high school.”

Crossroads High School serves kids that have not only previously dropped out of school, but many of them dropped out to raise their own kids. As a result of the May 24 shooting at Robb Elementary School, and the ensuing plans to demolish that school building, Crossroads was displaced to a maintenance facility. To say that these high school kids have nothing is a vast understatement – They have nothing, but the love of a principal and his team.

“Give Compassion: Every day the average person fights epic battles never told just to survive.” 

– Ken Poirot

When I first met Dr. Lopez, I was amazed at his deep love for “his kids,” and “his faculty.” He could be a professor at a prestigious university, but chose to give of himself, and serve hundreds of kids over the past five years at Crossroads. He welcomed me into his world and quickly conveyed that he didn’t want to be a burden as so many other schools needed help as well, but one more time – they have nothing!

The parking lot is tiny and weed-filled. The grass, what little there is, was 2 feet high and completely unkempt. The three mobile units have a great lack of paint, and what paint still remains is peeling. The soffit is half attached and most of the siding is rotten.

I don’t say all of this to ask you to do anything. I am telling you this story to remind you what everyday people can do to make a radical difference. When Dr. Lopez’s story was told, and our team was in a position to hear it, compassion moved to action. When Julie unpacked this in the podcast, she offered this wisdom:

“Compassionate people are some of the grittiest, toughest, and most determined people because they are willing to enter into empathetic distress and move through it. To move beyond fear and uncertainty and self-doubt, into action. Brain studies of those experiencing compassion show that there are multiple areas of the brain being activated when someone feels compassion- there’s an area of distress but there’s also the area of hope – activated. When you are experiencing compassion and have that sense of connection to suffering, either your own or someone else’s, we see a very strong neural response connected to hope.” Therefore, ask yourself this question:

“Do I want to live an easy life
without deeper purpose
or do I want to take the risk to enter into a state of compassion and experience the depths of hope and
the connection that comes with that risk?“

As for me, I never feel more alive than when I am moved beyond the feeling of compassion, into the action of compassion. As I have spent time in and around Uvalde, I’ve been moved to act on compassion. Being around Dr. Lopez, I have been encouraged and my courage has been bolstered around this humble, gracious leader. Here is the real question. What is it that has occurred in your life that has moved you to compassion lately? If nothing is moving you to compassion, ask yourself these two questions:

  1. Am I (like Chuck has been) too self-absorbed to even sense compassion?
  2. Am I so busy with the natural flow of life that I cannot stop long enough to feel any compassion?

If the answer to either of those questions is even close to a yes, then you are literally robbing yourself of personal health, peace, and courage. You are most likely robbing yourself of emotional and physical healing. And you are definitely robbing yourself of the blessings that are yours when you draw near folks that are brokenhearted. God says that He draws near the brokenhearted and I want to be near God, don’t you? The closer I am to the Divine, the closer I am to His blessings. Put all of this together and who knows?

Maybe you, like Dr. Hector Lopez are the next in line to serve others in the role of Captain Compassion!

I’m certain that Dr. Lopez will someday read this and be amused that anyone might consider him in such a way. He is a brilliant man, wrapped in a lot of humility. That seems to be the very genesis of compassion – HUMILITY. And that leads us back to the two questions asked earlier.

Go in Peace, Chuck

4 Lessons from Uvalde

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AChuckAllen | August 10, 2022

I’ve spent seven of the past fifteen days in Uvalde and DelRio, Texas. In that time, I have learned so much about the incredible people of Uvalde and America, the Beautiful. Some of what I have learned has shaken me to the core. But, on the other hand, some of what I have learned reminds me of what I most likely already knew.

Beyond the lessons learned, this I know. The evil that transpired at Robb Elementary School is a tangible, grizzly reminder that we live in a desperately broken world. That broken world needs healing, hope, and direction. Given the present, recent and hopeful candidates slated or proven, we are in dire straights.

That isn’t to say that the folks in power and those that desire to be in control are incompetent – well, maybe a bit incompetent – but instead, they have their eyes on the wrong target. The political powers that be are so consumed with the lust for power, vengeance, and fame that serving the people of America has gone awash in a sea full of bull.

I’ll keep saying it. We have plenty of competent people and leaders in these United States, but until we break this stalemate of a two-party system, we will get more of what we have tolerated over the past thirty years. Partisan bickering, name-calling, stagnation, and foolishness. All the while, evil runs rampant in this great land’s cities, towns, and countrysides.

The lessons I have learned while in Uvalde are simple. But should we apply them, with a heavy dose of common sense, America can right the ship.

LESSON ONE

Stop Pointing Fingers and choose to correct the problems. Maybe you are a finger pointer. I once was. It’s so stinking easy to waste sideways energy on blaming others. I know we should hold one another accountable, but most of us must choose to fix problems rather than blame. In Uvalde, those families and the schools, hospitals, law enforcement, and churches don’t need one more person or group fixing blame. They are hurting emotionally, mentally, physically, and exhausted from the desperate trauma thrust upon them due to evil. So if you want to help save this great land, get off the blame train and get on the serving others express line. It’s interesting how many people told me that there was very little that could be done in Uvalde. That has not been my experience at all. They have been open and forthright about their needs when I have asked educators, law enforcement, city employees, and other locals. Maybe we need to stop assuming that we know what everyone needs and start asking how we should help.
LESSON NUMBER ONE IS:
SET YOUR PRIDE AND ASSUMPTIONS DOWN AND ASK, THEN LISTEN. IT’S THAT SIMPLE.

LESSON TWO

You name the culture, and I’ll show you that we all have the same basic desires. You pick the color: Black, Brown, White, and I’ll show you our commonalities. We have far more significant similarities than we have differences. The challenge is that we seem to focus on the differences. Most of the community I’ve been serving in Uvalde are Brown folks. They are hard-working Americans with the same desires I have in my hometown. They want peace in their town. They want jobs to provide for their families. They want a fair justice system. These folks want what we all want. They want kind neighbors, honest law enforcement, caring churches, and leaders who put others first. They want safety at their kid’s schools and an opportunity to succeed. All of these things are what America has been built upon. But greed, corruption, and arrogant, self-righteous leaders on both sides of the aisle have depleted us of these most precious commodities. So pick your vote carefully, and be willing to be part of the solution.
LESSON NUMBER TWO IS:
RECOGNIZE WHAT YOU DESIRE MOST IN THIS LIFE, THEN STRIVE TO BRING THAT GOOD TO THE WORLD. EVERY SINGLE HUMAN CAN ADD TO THE GOOD OR THE EVIL. Which will it be for you?

LESSON THREE

This one is at the core of the American Dream. It doesn’t take much to help. It just takes all of us doing our part of the job. Civil service, ministry, education, business, or politics. Each day, you can choose to do at least one thing to make your part of the world better. Not your version of the world, but our version of a better world. The common good, the greater good, whatever you call it. But lay your head on the pillow each night, knowing that you have done your part of our job.
LESSON NUMBER THREE IS SIMPLE:
DO YOUR PART OF OUR JOB AND MAKE YOUR PART OF THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

LESSON FOUR

You all are already checking out on me. I seem to know this truth as I write these words. So hang in there; this is the good part. Lesson four is something tangible. Do good where it is needed. The Bible teaches that we are a blessed people; better translated, we are happy people when we act and react more like Jesus.

In Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount, found in Matthew chapter 5, we find that He starts with the “Beatitudes.” In other words, Jesus is teaching us His attitudes – How we are to be. In verses 3-9 in Matthew 5, we read the following from “The Message.”

Matthew 5:3-9 MSG
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and his rule.”
“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.”
“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s when you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”
“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.”
“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.”
“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart— put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.”
“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of competing or fighting. That’s when you discover who you really are and your place in God’s family.”

When you replace the word “blessed” with “happy,” you’re getting close to understanding how to be part of the right solution, serving others, doing our part, and choosing good over evil.

Go in Peace, Chuck


ARE YOU OFFENDED?

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ACHUCKALLEN AUGUST 2, 2022

Somehow, someway, we have trained ourselves to be easily offended. The minute I hit send on this post, I will begin the process of offending someone about being offended. We all know that it is true, don’t we? Yet, at any given point, we must stop before sharing our true feelings due to the fret and worry over whose feelings we have just hurt. The challenge is that it doesn’t matter what the topic is. It can be baseball; people just go off if you share an opinion. Look at the “Official Atlanta Braves Fan Facebook Page.” These people are screaming at each other on FB for talking about a game! Ever found yourself at a dinner party and politics come up in the discussion? Your heart starts to race; your forehead becomes sweaty, all because you aren’t sure if you are in a field littered with landmines – and these are your friends!

We Might be Anxious

People who are easily offended might struggle with anxiety and a need to control their view and version of the universe. They are accustomed to being in control of things in their lives. As a result, they may also need to control others’ responses. This is a pretty irrational thought, but it is so true! Taking offense to a perceived insult can be a function of anxiety. It might require the other person to acknowledge and tailor their verbiage and demeanor to match the offended person’s worldview. In essence, anxious people need to see their version of the truth as the only truth, which can help mitigate their experience of anxiety. That’s one thought.

We Might be Insecure

Folks that feel insecure have often been invalidated and learned others will not respond to their needs in helpful or meaningful ways. They might not have learned how to get their needs met appropriately and respond in a passive-aggressive manner. As a result, they may find they are more easily offended than others as a way to acknowledge their pain and seek validation of their experience. I see this all the time, and sometimes I see it in the mirror.

We Might be Highly Sensitive

Some of us are merely more sensitive than others. That’s our temperament, how we are wired. It’s extremely hard to be overly sensitive and have healthy relationships, but this is a changeable quality when you recognize this is how you are. One approach when you feel harmed by someone’s remark or lack of attention is to consider: How else could I think of this action except as being meant to hurt me? You might think that someone is having a bad day, they’re actually trying to help you, or that they’re simply inept at being tactful. We really can be a thin-skinned bunch.

We Might Have Experienced a Traumatic Childhood

When we are abused or traumatized as kids, the hurtful action taken against us gets stored in our brains differently than less distressing memories because they are highly emotional and seen as a threat. It’s inevitable, and we all have some measure of trauma. My friend Julie Homrich has taught me a bit about BIG “T” trauma and LITTLE “T” trauma. Even as adults, we have sore spots that can easily get “re-triggered.” If you were left out of activities or bullied as a child, every slight in adulthood might tap into those ugly memories and make you feel as you did as a child. As a result, we can be easily offended. Having a chat with a trained counselor or therapist is so good in this case.

We Might Just Be Selfish and Certain

When we leave no room for uncertainty in our life, as in we are always right, we will be easily offended. If someone doesn’t believe as we do, they must be wrong. If someone doesn’t vote the way we do, they must be wrong. When we have other folks convey a thought, opinion, or belief that we disagree with, can we not just let it go? Is it okay that people are perceived as wrong? Is it okay if they are wrong? Is it possible that we are wrong? Now I’ve gone too far…clearly! My point is that we have to attain some sense of decency and decorum in our personal exchange of ideas and ideologies, do we not? At some point, the gateway drug to the violence we are experiencing on our streets is that we have drawn red lines around our worldview and have determined that those lines are the point of no return, and once crossed, we start pushing the verbal nuclear codes into our preferred method of social media, or worse. It is okay that people do not see the world as you do!

So, What Are We To Do?

Taking offense can be a legitimate feeling when someone is expressing an unfair or deprecating sentiment about you or a group of people with whom you identify. It’s plenty valid to get offended at racist or sexist remarks. No, you are not overly sensitive when you express your displeasure at someone’s ignorant statement about people who look like you. But, if it’s a frequent mechanism by which insecurities or unresolved and personal issues are exposed, it’s most likely a problem. Get a unbiase thought on that and see where it takes you. It was a real struggle for me, but a struggle that bettered my life by a country mile!

LEAVE ROOM FOR UNCERTAINTY

You realize that none of us know everything about everything, correct? As a result, stay coachable, teachable, and flexible. I promise you that your life will be so much easier. It isn’t easy, but to hold your certainty loosely will allow you to see why someone sees the world differently. That takes the edge off of being angered or offended. It also allows you to be teachable, even if the lesson is what not to think or do.

CREATE SPACE FOR DIVERSE THOUGHT

There is a reason that the Creator didn’t make everyone the same way that you were created. Remember in the Bible, where Isaiah said, “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts?” Me too. He created us in such a beautifully diverse way that we are formed to be better together. Diversity is essential to better living and better thinking. But the truth is that where diversity exists, so also exists conflict. I realize that we have a melting pot of cultures and diversity here in the Land of the Free and that diversity asks something from us. It asks us to see that God made no mistake when He created the wonderful you – AND – the wonderful people that aren’t like you. The world is inhabited by far more people unlike you than like you. Heaven is going to be filled with folks unlike you. But the one central point here is that they were not created in error any more than you were. Learn to embrace diverse thoughts, cultures, and people. You will be so much happier when you do.

LET IT GO

I learned a phrase several years ago that may seem foolish to you, but it has been life-giving to me. When someone says something that seems offensive or even odd, I simply reply with, “how ’bout that?” It allows me to make a statement and keeps me from jumping into the deep water of offense or outrage. Just simply, “how ’bout that?” Idina Menzel was right when she sang, Let it Go in the Disney film, Frozen – LET IT GO! You really don’t have to respond. When we do, it typically makes us feel worse, not the other way around. Choosing to be offended by everything will literally eat you up from the inside, like drinking poison intended for the other party. LET IT GO and see how much happier you become.

More often than not, taking on an offense is a choice. Be very careful how much offense you choose to take into your soul. Like a three-pack-a-day habit, it’ll slowly but surely kill you.

Go in Peace, Chuck

How Should We Respond to Crisis?

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AChuckAllen | Monday, August 1, 2022

Every week we are bombarded with another crisis. A school shooting, mass shooting, flood, fire, riot, shortage, war, and the hits keep coming.

How can we respond to these crises without remaining angry, bitter, or hardened? How do we hear about more crises without growing jaded or curled up in anxiety? Fair questions for a country that regularly finds its way into trouble.

As a pastor, coach, and counselor, I’ve learned four things that we can all do to respond appropriately to the next crisis.

  1. DON’T CATASTROPHIZE THE CRISIS
    Fight hard not to let your mind convince you that things are far worse than they are. If we aren’t careful, our brain will convince us that we are like our preferred news outlet. We can be so active in telling ourselves that the sky is falling everywhere. We can make every crisis our crisis. Yes, we should be concerned, moved, and burdened, but you cannot own and exasperate every situation. My friend Julie Homrich would say, “don’t believe everything you think.”
  2. ACTIVELY LISTEN
    In most crises, loud voices point fingers, find fault and politicize the situation. Friends, this is not how to help or how to respond. There is a reason our Creator gave us two ears and one mouth. The single best way to respond to a crisis is to exercise your capacity to listen actively. Yes, affirm your connection to those affected. Affirm their heartache or pain, but at all costs, hush and let them speak. Let them find solace in your presence without your words. Keep this in mind. If you don’t know what to say, please don’t throw a catchphrase or random Bible. Verse their way. Just be there and listen. It’s okay to have a ministry of presence. While meeting the wonderful people of Uvalde, Texas, I heard, over and over again, “you are the only people asking us what we need.” In most points of crisis, words are cheap. Listening is golden.
  3. PRAY AND THEN PRAY SOME MORE
    We Americans are such activity-based people. When a hurricane happens, we get out the chain saws and wet vacs. When a shooting happens, we tend to do the same thing. What in the world? Prayer should never be seen as the last resort. Prayer is the single most extraordinary power on earth and requires zero travel! The minute you see or hear of a crisis, start praying. I’ll never forget seeing a horrific auto crash and hopping out of my truck to see if I could help. I got to the driver and realized they were already in the process of bleeding out. An incredible EMT jumped in, and I started praying for this mom out loud in the middle of highway 78. At that moment, the single greatest thing I knew to do was to PRAY! Before I finished, there were more than 20 people that had gathered around and, in their way, joined me in praying. Five days later, I got word that this dear lady had lost her leg, but she had her life and her toddler in the backseat. Prayer works! Pray, and then pray some more!
  4. ACT WITH GRACE AND SERVE WITH HUMILITY Determine not to join the fray and jump on the whiner train. Here is an equation from my friend Brad Rhoads, “Grace + Intentionality = Transformation” grace extends forgiveness and continuously extends a benefit of the doubt. Grace doesn’t blame. It smooths. And here is an authentic truth – WHEN WE EXTEND GRACE, WE SERVE OTHERS WITH HUMILITY!” According to the poster child of humility, Mother Teresa, this is what humility looks like: These are the few ways we can practice humility:
  • To speak as little as possible of one’s self.
  • To mind one’s own business.
  • Not to want to manage other people’s affairs.
  • To avoid busy-body curiosity.
  • To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.
  • To pass over the mistakes of others.
  • To accept insults and injuries.
  • To accept being slighted, forgotten, and disliked.
  • To be kind and gentle even under provocation.
  • Never stand on one’s dignity.
  • To choose is always the hardest. And best.

The evil in this world will continue to be a struggle from now until we reach Heaven’s gates. We will have minimal power over what they might be or where they will happen, but how we act and react to crises is entirely within our power.

Let us be a people that act and react in and through crises with grace, decency, and kindness. The world has a widening depletion of women and men that will respond in love. If we want to improve this world, let us act in these four areas.

Go in Peace, Chuck

I Might Be Wrong, But I Doubt It WHY AMERICA IS IN TROUBLE

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AChuckAllen.com July 28, 2022

Nope! This is not a bash America, pro any political party, point fingers, and play the blame game article. This is a hard look at where we are as a nation and what we can each do to make this place better than the way we found it. But to be clear, I love America. I am proud to be an American. But we can be and are better than the America we are living and portraying today.

Here are my I MIGHT BE WRONG, BUT I DOUBT IT thoughts for this week

I really do not think that the problems reside in Washington DC. I do not think that the primary issues at hand are about party platforms, progressives or conservatives, or right and lefts. I do however believe that we have a very real problem within our two-party system. I’ve written plenty about my beef with both donkeys and elephants. But they are simple-minded, easy targets. The problems run much deeper than those issues. You pick the party and you will find plenty to gripe about and find fault in – either way, every day. So where then is the problem? Because if we can address the problem, we can discover solutions. We solved talking to people around the globe with a piece of plastic the size of our palm. We have sent people to the moon, split atoms, and cooked in air fryers. Come on. How hard can it be to determine the problem and create solutions?

As it turns out, pretty dang hard! Because the problems with America are people problems, not platform and party problems. Here are two problematic areas of American life, and a few potential solutions.

SELFISH LEADERSHIP

Every study, poll, and experiment points to one fact that is true in every organization, team, or industry. The fact is that servant leaders are the leaders that change the world. Servant leaders are the people that others want to follow. Servant leaders are people that change the temperature of the world. These are people that put others in front of themselves, help others succeed, and revel in seeing someone other than themselves achieve great things. Servant leaders aren’t about pumping up their private brand, they are about making a difference in this world.

Sadly, we elevate those that talk loudest and longest and those that seek the spotlight, not the Light of the World. The real problem is that we continue to elect, hire, and celebrate these folks. The solutions may seem simple, right? But they aren’t. Like all sincere issues in this life, the closer we get to the problem, the more complex the solution. But in this case, I’d like to offer three difficult, but attainable solutions.

  1. Take a hard look in the mirror and search deep within your soul. Are you that person? I hate to admit it, but I have been and at times, still am that person. The solution is to stop comparing ourselves to others and compare ourselves to our Creator and the design He has within each of us. Simply talk to the Divine and ask for Him to search your heart, point out every selfish attitude or habit. Ask Him to replace them with His wisdom and His will/way, and watch the changes that start in your life. My experience is that when I get less selfish, I get more peaceful and more productive. Funny how that works, huh?
  2. Choose every day to give a part of you away. Your kindness, your money, your time, your attitude. Whatever you do, become a leader that lives with open hands. The stress will melt away, and the view of the rest of the world will radically change in just 2 weeks of daily servant leadership. I promise!
  3. Stop complaining about everybody else and their leadership. Get your attitudes in check and your heart in line first and foremost. It’s not fun. It’s not easy. It is necessary. Make servant leadership personal, because it is radically contagious.

When Jesus and His disciples came to the town of Capernaum, He asked them about a dispute they had on the way. They were arguing about who would be the greatest, and Jesus took the opportunity to speak about true leadership — the concept of servant leadership.

And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”

Mark 9:35

But what is servant leadership? The concept isn’t fully defined in Jesus’ words or any other simple phrase. It is, however, illustrated and illuminated in Jesus’ life and ministry, and that’s where we should start if we want to become a more impactful leader. By studying other godly men and women who demonstrated the core qualities of a servant leader, you can better appreciate their triumphs and struggles, as well as your own.

I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

THE ALMIGHTY BRAND

In Ulvalde, Texas this past week I experienced something odd. I stood at the memorial in the city park and at the site of Robb Elementary School and saw the outpouring of thousands of individuals. I saw banners and stuffed animals. I saw crosses and flowers. When I spoke with leaders and city workers I heard story after story of companies and non-profits trying to show up and “do something.” I heard of organizations wanting to burn sgae around the city, bikers wanting to “just be there,” and people with chain saws wanting to cut things down. My goodness, such an outpouring of folks wanting to do what they wanted to do.

The one thing I heard a lot of is, “nobody has really asked us what we need.”

It isn’t just Uvalde, or the places of crisis around the world, it is everywhere. Doing good is good for business is a new marketing ploy. Just pay attention to the organizations whose commercials are focused on the “good that they do” while watching any media outlet. It is reportedly 50% of ad space these days.

My point isn’t that they aren’t doing good. It is that they are doing good, BUT, does the good have to come with the obligatory photo opp? I’m not immune from this. Heck, I’m actually writing an article, under my name about this. But, can we not treat needy people and crisis as opportunities to grab a pic for the sake of telling the world what we did? Again, guilty as charged right here, but I felt guilty and sick about even snapping pics at the hallowed ground of Robb Elementary. As for me and our team, we will not be on a promotion tour. We will be the peeps in the dust and sweat, and hopefully nobody there sees us as a people seeking another photo opp on the backs of their burdens and grief.

I realize we have to raise awareness, and money to do some good, but folks the pushing of our brands is in the way of making people our priority. The brand shouldn’t be the key figure here. It should be the motivation to serve, to help, to give and to go. Without fanfare, credit, or photo opp.

A few years ago, I was with a group of folks helping serve a local ministry cooperative. These folks had been toiling for about four hours. They were tired, having worked a full day and then giving there time to serve. No t-shirts, no photo opps, just good people doing good work. Another organization came in about the time these servant leaders were taking a ten minute coffee break with bright yellow t-shirts with there brand emblazoned upon them and said, “let’s get this done.” They burst on the scene, made a mess of what was being done. Stayed 45 minutes, huddled for a photo opp, pushed the others out of the way (quite literally) and left in a blaze of glory.

It’s typically more subtle than that, but the almighty brand has replaced the intention of doing the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason. And it sickens me.

And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

James 4:3

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3

I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

I’d love to hear from you. Email me HERE.

Go in Peace, Chuck

4forFRIDAY with Chuck Allen

by

4forFRIDAY with AChuckAllen.com July 22, 2022

ONE
A REALLY GOOD BOOK: The Quest: Discover a Way to Enjoy the Second Half of Life
FIND IT HERE

Not many books make me pause a rethink so much as The Quest has. I encourage you to jump in whole-heartedly if you are more than 50 years of age. Here is the promo from Amazon: When America became a nation, only one in five people lived to age seventy. Now more than four out of five do. The average life expectancy in America is currently around eighty years—and increasing. This expansion begs the question, what are we to do with a second half of life that could last forty or more years? The additional time makes it inevitable that somewhere between age thirty-five and sixty, many of us will find ourselves at the cusp of a massive (and possibly catastrophic) transition. A decade ago, Randy Elrod created a live experience (a rite of passage) called The Quest for people age 35 and over. Since then, he has guided Quest experiences in New Mexico and Tennessee with participants from all walks of life. While there is nothing like attending The Quest in person, the hope is that this book will become a well-worn guide map for one’s journey into second life.

–AMAZON

TWO
A FREE AFTERNOON TO COOL DOWN AND ENJOY A BIT OF NATURE ON THE HOOCH
FIND IT HERE and HERE

My son-in-law and I fished the stretrch of the Chattahoochee River from McGinnis Ferry Rd to Abbotts Bridge Rd and it took us about 4 1/2 hours. The input at McGinnis Ferry is just east of Peachtree Industrial (see link on left) and the out ramp is just east of Peachtree industrial odd Abbott’s Bridge Rd (see link on right). If you aren’t fishing it, it should be about 3 1/2 hours. You need a life jacket as there are some spots that reach 6-8 feet, but most of it is 2-4 feet, with a few shallows to stop and eat a bite. We caught 12 nice Trout, but saw several folks just floating. The best part is that it costs you nothing! Enjoy!

–Chuck Allen

THREE
An Affordable, Awesome Set of Bluetooth Headphones from SONY
FIND IT HERE

I bought these during PrimeDays for just $64.99. I have had Beats, and I have had Bose, but these are equal to either and at the price, I think they might be the best I’ve had for walking, calls, distraction free work, etc. Easy set up, USB-C charging and plenty of battery for the entire day, plus some more.

–Chuck Allen

FOUR
An Action Packed TV Series from FX:
THE OLD MAN
FIND IT HERE

The first 10 minutes made me wonder why so many people has suggested that I might like The Old Man, but then the action kicked in. Jeff Bridges, a retired ex CIA man is being hunted and the twists and turns are really exciting. If violence isn’t your thing, avoid this one. If you don’t mind a few folks getting shot and beat up, then you’ll love it!

–Chuck Allen

GO IN PEACE, Chuck