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Jenny and I have been enjoying New England over the past week. We started with $39 fares from Atlanta to Boston and headed to Bar Harbor, Maine. Bar Harbor is truly one of the most beautiful places that I’ve ever seen. We left Bar Harbor and visited the small town of Kennebunkport, Maine.

We were living on lobster! Then we headed to Newport, Rhode Island, Martha’s Vineyard and ended in Boston, including a great trip to Fenway Park…Home of the Boston Red Sox, my boyhood heroes.

During the trip, I purchased a book that was about Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, Quarterback and Head Coach of the 5-time Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots.

Like them, hate them or anywhere in between, the truth is that they have played in seven Super Bowls and have won five of them. That’s all with the same coach, quarterback and owner. Players came and went, coaches came and went, but the heart and soul of the team has stayed rock solid. They found and remained committed to the”Patriot Way.” Their best them!

Why is this such a big deal? Because plenty of coaches on Belichick’s staff have come and gone, seeking to replicate their former bosses successes and all of them have fallen short.

Why? Because the coach that many hate and the quarterback that is still playing at the highest level at 41 have created and stayed in their way of leading and winning. I’m a fan, not because they win, but because they have had to recreated themselves over and over, year after year. And they are still winning.

In short, they have determined who they are. They have allowed their unique them be their best them! The truth is, they are showing us how we can be the best us! And how you can be the best you!

My take away is threefold:

1. When your convictions call you toward change and others are unwilling to go with you, you only have two choices: A) Coach them up and let them share the vision, or B) Let them go and fight somebody else’s dreams.
2. When you do what you do so well, others will attempt to replicate it and grab the players and coaches that you have equipped to join their team. Wear it like a badge of honor. When nobody cares what you are doing, you probably aren’t winning.
3. Never settle. Never, ever settle. Brady and Belichick have constantly had to recruit new players and coaches. They’ve had to move players into new roles, including cutting them and asking them to have less personal goals and to have greater team goals. Along the way, and with every change, they’ve had distractions, disasters, poor choices, critical decisions and an amazing amount of criticism. But they are still winning. Yes, questionably at times, but you cannot deny that coach and QB are still winning. I believe that is founded in “The Patriot Way.”

It has caused me to spend hours thinking about what my version of “The Patriot Way” is. This I know:

1. I have to have deep seated convictions of the leader the Divine has called me to be.
2. Like all of us, I need to seek after the unique way that I’ve been created to lead and win.
3. I need to be grateful that folks want to come see what we do and be proud of my team when other organizations want them.
4. My focus must be Clear, as in I Get It!
5. My focus must be Common, as in we all get it!
6. My focus must be Compelling, as in we all want to be a part of it!

How about you? What part of you can you be the best you?

—AChuck

Most Saturdays I enjoy sharing another authors article or BLOG. this week’s Saturday Share is from Tanvir Zafar. I first read the article on LifeHack.com.

Here is this Week’s Saturday Share:

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We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Thanks for joining me on this week’s Saturday Share!

–AChuck

Most Fridays, I enjoy sharing at least four really good reads, listens, learnings or reviews. Several hundred of you guiys read this and many of you give me a little feedback, especially about suggested restaurants.

Here is this week’s 4forFRIDAY June14, 2018

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A Really, Great Read: Washington on Leadership by Richard Brookhiser
I promise that you will come away with dozens of great life and leadership lessons.
In 1799, at the end of George Washington’s long life and illustrious career, the politician Henry Lee eulogized him as: “First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.” Esteemed historian Richard Brookhiser now adds to this list, “First in leadership,” examining the lessons to be learned from our first president, first commander-in-chief, and founding CEO.

A Very Interesting Series: Lies and Legends; The Civil War
I rarely watch live television, but I cannot wait to see the Sunday Evening viewing of Lies and Legends. It’s not so much that its a great cinematic creation, but rather a very interesting documentary, If you are a bit of a Civil War buff, you’ll enjoy this series.

One of My Best Suggestions, Ever! MASTERCLASS
When I started watching MasterClass, I started to improve my writing skills in a class taught by Malcom Gladwell. My most recent class to watch and experience on my iPad was The Art of Performance by Usher. From cooking to singing. From chess to film making, I love this extraordinary teaching from world class performers in so many fields.

Airfare that You Can Afford: JetBlue Atlanta to Boston for $39/each way
You have to shop and get out early to reserve, but we have found (regularly) $39-$59 airfare fropm Atlanta to Boston and a few other northern states. Jenny, Abby, Sam and I flew round trip for $80/each! And the seats had pleanty of room. Hit the road!

A Quote from the New England Patriots Coach, Bill Belechick when asked about future hall of fame quaterback, Tom Brady:
“Well, umm…he’s a good player. We have a lot of good players.”

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Thanks for joining me on this week’s 4forFRIDAY. Be sure to subscribe to the Weekday Podcast. 5 minutes/day & 5 days/week, you can hear a word of Scripture and encouragement. WeekdayPodcast.com

See you Sunday at Sugar Hill Church where we have three live morning worship gatherings and all three can be seen live on FB and live.sugarhill.church

Jenny and I have been in Bar Harbor, Maine the last few days and have loved it. On a sunset cruise on a sailboat, we found ourselves sitting next to and older couple that seemed nice, but a good bit older than us. If you know me, you know that I’m not exactly Chatty-Cathy. As a result, I kept my attention on Jenn, Abby and Sam.

Soon after leaving Bar Harbor for the sail, we were laughing as we sang along with the live entertainer strumming his guitar. Trust me when I say, we brought a little red-neck to the sailboat excursion.

Back to the older couple. By the time we finished Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville, these folks started singing along to John Denver’s Take Me Home Country Road. The rest of the boat started as well and we all had great fun.

By the time we were docking, these new Canadian friends finally asked “what I did.” Once told that I was a pastor they immediately began telling us the story of the sudden death of their 19 year old daughter more than 40 years ago. The small opening of kindness and the connection of a pastor to a hospital chaplain all those years ago, seemed to have allowed them to describe their hurt. We left them encouraged.

I began to share, along with Jenny of what the old hymn says – “Precious Memories, How They Linger…How the Linger on My Soul.” I encouraged them, like everyone else i counsel, with the truth of Gods plans.

I know you are wondering how this connects to civility. Well, several hours earlier as we descended Cadillac Mountain, I shared with the girls of my desire to be more intentionally kind, gracious and civil. I think they might have thought, “AChuck, it might would have been nice had you started a few years earlier.”

Connect my confession to become a more gracious and civil person to sharing the grace of the Lord with this still wounded couple and you’ve got a real God inspired providential moment.

What’s my big take-away? Without the intentional desire to be a more civil follower of Christ, I would never have had the joy of encouraging a couple that seemed void of a solid faith system. I would have also missed what the Divine will now do in their lives.

I am convinced that when we act in gracious civility, the Divine shows up in the lives of the folks we extend civility to.

I’m just a pastor of a great church, imagine the good that God could choose you to do!

Keep it Civil,

AChuck

Day 3 of 6 Days Of Civility by ACHUCKAllen

A lot of folks have jumped on board this effort to live this week in the peace that comes from civility. Thanks so much!

As for me, I have to remind myself that living a life of civility is truly an effort.

I’m not a naturally nice person. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of assumptions, criticism and rotten attitudes.

You didn’t ask me about this, but I thought that I’d share what I’ve learned in the last few days.

1. It all starts with my morning routine. If I do not intentionally write down 3 things I’m grateful, I’ve already dug myself a home to get out of.
2. Choosing to be kind, or reply in a gracious way requires discipline and accountability. Let the people you love most remind you of the person that you wish to be.
3. My civility is often influenced by the folks that I am around. If your efforts toward civility are constantly being challenged or critiqued, find another pack to run with. If they are forced upon you by work/life circumstances, build an appropriate wall to guard your soul and stay the course. You might have been chosen by the Divine to be the change that is needed. Don’t bootleg your own blessing.

I urge you to lead the way with civility and grace. The change we must bring to this messed up world begins in our own hearts. I know it starts in my heart, my voice and my attitude as well.

Stay Civil,

AChuck

Day 2 of 6 Days of Civility by ACHUCKAllen

The dictionary defines civility as “Formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech.” Over the ages, some great thinkers have considered it one of the stalwarts of human society. But in 2018,  has the Internet and the 24-hour news cycle rendered this classic virtue obsolete? Here are a few quotes to ponder from thinkers in various walks of life to remind us why it matters.

Let’s Start with The Words of Jesus of Nazareth: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

How About Samuel Johnson: “When once the forms of civility are violated, there remains little hope of the return to kindness or decency.”

Here’s a Blast from the Past. Emmylou Harris, “As citizens, we have to be more thoughtful and more educated and more informed. I turn on the TV and I see these grown people screaming at each other, and I think, well, if we don’t get our civility back we’re in trouble.”

And Here is Vice President Mike Pence” “We cannot do democracy without a heavy dose of civility.”

One More to be Clear from Hebrews 12:14: “Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.”

We have been fighting and shouting and judging for so many decades that we cannot reckon to speak the truth in reason or speak with the voice of reason in truth. But why?

I suppose we could blame 24-hour news channels, but we are the folks watching. Or we could blame Washington, but we elected those folks. It must be Hollywood, right? But we pay to see their movies. What if it was us? What if we were the problem?

If so, then it is the moment by moment choice of:

• Pride over humility
• Self over others
• Being heard over listening
• Getting rather than giving
• Lording over serving
• Rights over gratitude

That list is a deadly cocktail that will lead us to a place of no return.

Remember, over these six days:

1. Meditate on the 34th Psalm each day (evening or morning) You can read the 34th Psalm by clicking HERE. The big picture is to set your soul at rest and sharpen your mind on the goodness and the peace found in a daily 3-minute journey with the Divine. Will you join me as well? Here’s the plan – Read the 34th Psalm and then ask the Divine to show you the power of His promises each day. It’s that simple
2. Listen to the Weekday Podcast from Sugar Hill Church by clicking HERE. It’s 5 minutes of scriptural encouragement. No matter where you are, what you do, or how you do it, we all have 5 minutes to listen to Scripture and be encouraged. The weekdaypodcast.com is pretty simple.
3. Enter into an accountable relationship with your spouse or BFF to live in a zero-tolerance attitude and action over these six days. Seriously, just don’t bite on the desire to think, talk, listen or act in any negative, bitter, angry or foolish discussions or actions. And, when you do, seek forgiveness ASAP.

Peace and Civility,
AChuck