Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Discipleship

THREE WAYS TO BEAT THE MONDAY BLUES

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April 18, 2022

“Monday, Monday, so good to me.” The Mamas and the Papas launched that song in 1966. There have been a few changes in the world since ‘66.

But Monday hasn’t changed much. It is still the day that most of us never look forward to.

Monday has a special significance in our culture as the beginning of the week, which influences our mood and our physical, emotional, and spiritual health outcomes

The 7-day week and the meaning we associate with the days of the week is a social construct, and not based on biological or planetary cycles. But a host of negative outcomes, such as heart attacks and strokes, happen more frequently on Mondays as people transition back to the structured routine of the week.

Something about that doesn’t seem right. Furthermore, we shouldn’t give in to that. If it really is a social construct, and we can choose to make Monday better, why not do that?

A 2021 nationwide survey conducted by the Data Decisions Group tracked awareness and behavior related to Mondays and healthy behaviors. While 11% of people report that Monday is “a day to dread”, many people see Monday positively. They view it as an opportunity for a “fresh start” (40%) and a day to “get my act together” (18%).

83% of responders to the survey agreed that starting the week off healthy would help maintain a focus on health for the rest of the week.

Over the past few months, I’ve been radically focused on becoming a healthier husband, dad, grandad and pastor. I’ve learned the following three ways to kickoff my workweek. Please keep in mind that I’m a pastor. As a result, Monday morning could possibly be a bummer of a let down. But I’ve learned to make Monday one of my favorite days of the week.

1. PLAN YOUR WEEK ON SUNDAY EVENING.

You may not want to, but taking ten minutes to review your calendar, make appropriate adjustments, and make a few notes of a few things you need to add and delete to your schedule is one of the most impactful things you can invest ten-minutes in, always.

Make a very short list of four things you MUST accomplish this week. Write them down! Then prioritize them.

Keep that in front of you.

2. Set limits on the amount of time that you will spend that week on social media, television and enthralled with your smart devices.

Simple awareness of the time you spend on these often worthless efforts is half of your personal productivity and peace perspective.

Earl Sweatshirt once said, “Everyone’s like sheep on social media; like, one person starts making noise, and everyone’s like, ‘Hey, yeah!’ and then you got a whole bunch of people making noise at you.”

And, whether you like it or not, the man trying to buy Twitter said, “I think there should be regulations on social media to the degree that it negatively affects the public good.” -Elon Musk

Don’t let the addictive dopamine hit of a like, follow or friend determine your day, week, or attitude.

3. Determine to Rise Ten-Minutes Early Each Weekday.

Rising just 10-minutes early allows you room to do three things – yes I know I sound like a broken record – but this has had such a radical impact on my mental, emotional, and spiritual health. First, write down three things that you are grateful for. Don’t get all spiritual or intellectual on me. Keep it simple, but write it down. Second, read one chapter of the Bible-book of Proverbs. There’s 31 chapters. How ‘bout that? Third, write down 4-5 words that describe the person that you want to be or become this week. Again, keep it clear. Keep it simple. Keep it real.

As the Mamas and the Papas once sang, “Monday, Monday, so good to me. Every other day, every other day. Every other day, every other day of the week is fine, yeah.But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes. But whenever Monday comes, you can find me cryin’ all of the time”

I think I will choose a better Monday. How about you?

Go in Peace, Chuck

NOPE – Not Gonna do It

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AChuckAllen.com

It seems too easy to bash anybody that is leading anything today. Bash the president, the Congress, the Senate, the School Board, the Mayor, the CEO, the pastor, the Oscar Host…You get the idea.

I stopped writing this BLOG months ago because I was frustrated with everything. I prayed through my frustration. Talked through my frustration. Then worked through my frustration. The short end of this story is that I needed to pray, think and talk my way to being capable of working through my frustration. The following is a recipe for how I transitioned from frustrated human to peace-filled and productive, purposeful human.

I spent some time offline and off social media. I spent more time reading, praying, and rediscovered the power of solitude, investment, and trajectory. You must be thinking, here’s another preacher tale or worse, another self-help guide. NOPE, neither.

Over the past few months, I have discovered a more peace-filled and purposeful life stage. And it didn’t require an Apple Watch, super-planner, conference, book, or retreat. It took solitude, investment, and trajectory. Here, let me explain.

SOLITUDE:

We are a people that seem to stay in constant motion and with continuous noise. We fill our lives with such busyness that there is literally no time to know who we are, where we are going, or what we want to be. As a result, we drift into what the world wants us to be. But I’m not suggesting that you have to attend a silent retreat or isolate yourself. Instead, I recommend that you discover three, five-minute pauses in your day to grab solitude. Then, in that solitude, capture your investment and trajectory. Of course, I am assuming you know that solitude also needs to include quietude. That’s it. There are three five-minute pauses for your day that have an old-fashioned pen and a 3 x 5 index card. Pretty simple, right? Remember – Just three, five-minute breaks to SIT (SOLITUDE, INVESTMENT, TRAJECTORY).

INVESTMENT:

Now that you have sorted out a way to grab three, five-minute pauses in your day, grab your pen and index card and capture your investments in YOU! Start with GRATITUDE. Always start with GRATITUDE. On the top of the index card, write down two things you are grateful for today. Nothing must be cute, super intellectual, or spiritual. Just what are you grateful for. See the illustration below. This is my card from this morning. Invest in yourself by inserting GRATITUDE as an essential part of your morning routine (2 minutes). Harvard Medical School places a significant emphasis on GRATITUDE. The following is an excerpt from the hard medical Journal:

FRONT
BACK

“The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness (depending on the context). In some ways, gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, being grateful also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.”

“In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”

Faith and science agree that grateful people are far more likely to be more contented and happier. Why not INVEST in your happiness and contentment?

In your solitude pause number one – insert gratitude s an investment in you, your present and future.

Then determine the trajectory of your day, on the same index card. Capture in bullet form a few (typically 5-6) statements that might describe the person you wish to be today. Again, see my illustration. I tend to focus on the cxharacteristics that I believe God might be nudging me toward improvement.

Once I’ve capture my gratitude and my desired person I want to be today, I like to capture one prayer thought that I am asking the Divine to settle in my life.

When I use the term “capture,” it is an effort of be clearly understood that you have given it thought. That you have prayerfully considered it, and you are writing it down on your investment card. The Journal of Experimental Psychology published research that shows how writing your thoughts down can reduce intrusive thoughts about negative events and improve working memory, even the simple act of writing something down lets your brain know you want to remember it.

These three simple steps can, and will change the trajectory of your life, especially when you engage your Creator with a conversation about all of them.

SOLITUDE + INVESTMENT + TRAJECTORY = GREATER PEACE
GREATER PEACE = MORE CONTENTED LIVES AND HAPPIER, HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIPS

To continue the change in trajectory, flip the card over at the end of each day and capture three thoughts.

1. What went well today?
2. What didn’t go so well today?
3. What am I asking God to do in my life tomorrow?

Write them down – file the day away and sleep like a rock.
Wash, rinse and repeat tomorrow.

SOLITUDE – INVESTMENT – TRAJECTORY – JUST SIT

It’s not fancy. It’s not digitized (unless youwant it to be), and it makes a huge difference. Just SIT in Solitude and accomplish these three pauses in each day. If you chose to consider this a version of journaling, I’m cool with that because, according to mental health professionals, journaling is one of the most recommended tools to have a clearer mind and a happier life. It helps to release mental blockades and be more precise about your thoughts. Additionally, journaling helps to understand your desires, priorities, and worries. Multiple studies prove that writing down your thoughts can lead to an increase in well-being and happiness.

1. Solitue – Gratitude
2. Solitude – Invest in who God desires you to be.
3. Solitude – Reflect on your day and place tomorrow into His hands.

So, NOPE, I refuse to join the masses and whine about everything, every leader, and every inconvenience in this life. I’ve stumbled into a simple, sustainable routine to just SIT in solitude for the purpose of investing in the trajectory of my life. As a result, I am more peace-filled and purposeful than any other time in my life. I desire this for you as well. This allows me to focus on my part of our world and prompts me to serve those I can serve in a sustainable, practical, purposeful way.

Maybe this tiny effort, multiplied over thousands of people might make a big collective difference as we all just SIT.

Go in Peace,
Chuck

Happy People Don’t Do These 4 Things

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AChuckAllen

It seems odd to suggest that in this world, you can accelerate happiness in your life. But you actually can create a sense of peace and genuine happiness within your soul if you so desire. If that’s the case, then why are so many people unhappy?

In a recent article from Discovery Magazine, I read the following; “The richest countries are not happiest, the healthiest countries are not always the happiest. The happiest countries are the ones who do have the highest levels of a whole range of things,” says John Helliwell, an editor of The World Happiness Report and professor emeritus of the Vancouver School of Economics. “They include, especially, a willingness to trust each other to work for each other and to come together in times of difficulty.”

From that and our everyday life experiences, we know this to be true. I’ve heard from countless people that “money can’t buy happiness.” Or my favorite, “stuff can only make you temporarily happy.”

I’ve written plenty of things you can do to increase your happiness, but here are four things that genuinely happy people DON’T DO.

  1. Genuinely Happy People Don’t Compare Themselves to Others. Eckhart Tolle once said, “Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love — you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.” Staying in comparison mode will rob you of the lovely soul that the Divine created to be you. God made no mistake when you were created. Every molecule that helps make you the incredible, fantastic you are unique, and wonderful has a purpose that only you can deliver into this world. To compare your awesomeness is a discredit to both you and God. You know what you’re worth, right? Happy folks do because they don’t seek validation outside of themselves. Happy people understand that it comes from a sense of self-awareness — in their way.
  2. Genuinely Happy People Aren’t Selfish, They Serve Others. Every study on the planet proves this to be true. Give a bit of your time, your skill, your kindness, and yourself, and watch happiness wash into your soul. A Chinese saying goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Our passion should be the foundation for our serving others. It is not how much we give away but how much love we put into giving it. It should not be simply a matter of choosing the right thing, but also the importance of deciding what is suitable for us. God said that He loves a cheerful giver. Like all of life…it’s a matter of our hearts.
  3. Genuinely Happy People Aren’t Rigid. Every time I meet a happy person, I seem to discover this truth – they are naturally flexible. If I could add one piece of scripture to the New Testament, I’d add another Beatitude to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. When we remain flexible, we remain less stressed and less anxious. Hence, we are happier. Staying fixed in our certainty can steal the happiness from our soul. Discover the joy and margin found in your flexibility. My addition? Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
  4. Genuinely Happy People Guard Their Yes and No. Happiness is often connected to having a margin in our calendar and schedule. When we say yes to everyone and everything, we might be fueling an addiction to please people. I’ve discovered that this addiction is as powerful as alcohol, cocaine, or nicotine. Without guarding our yes and no answers, we give away our margin, grow frustrated with others, and punish both ourselves and those we love. If you want to choose happiness, guard your yes, and no’s.

Don’t settle for temporal happiness when you were created for meaningful, purposeful, and eternal happiness. Get grounded in your faith, your family, and your community. Then stop comparing yourself to anybody, give yourself away, get flexible, and guard your yes and no.

Peace, Chuck

Three Life Skills Nobody Taught Me

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October 4, 2021, | AChuckAllen.com

You know you are getting to “that age” when you talk about what you’ve learned the hard way. Before you know it, you’ll be explaining how hard you had it as a kid, and kids these days don’t know how good they have it. Yikes! I’m not ready for that stage just yet, but I have learned three life lessons that nobody taught me or could teach me. These lessons were indeed learned in the more complicated way of experience.

  1. It’s always better to make things right, as opposed to proving you are right. Seriously, this is one of those lessons that you can teach, preach and plead. But you learn it the hard way. This one will save you a ton of heartache. To be in the right relationship with someone is far better than being correct.
  2. Arguing with a police officer is never a good idea. You say, how did you not know that? Because I am stubborn, hot-headed, and not the sharpest hook in the tackle box. If an officer in rural South Carolina stops you after midnight, it’s never a good idea to offer your honest thoughts on his quaint little town.
  3. Recognizing a Mountain from a Molehill. I’d heard all my life that you shouldn’t make a mountain out of a molehill, but nobody taught me how to differentiate between the two! Here is the key. Does weighing in, contributing to, or differing with make an immediate difference? Does my injecting more words or opinions actually provide help, encouragement, or truth to the conversation. OR? Am I simply talking more and asking everyone else to listen? I now know that many of my opinions do not add to a solution or truth, they are simply opinions. Knowing which is which helps hugely!

Go in Peace, Chuck

A Prayer for Today

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I cannot think of a more passionate, powerful prayer for today. May this wash over you in grace and mercy.

“Amazing God, There’s more to life than we can see, or we can fathom.

Yet, how often we try to shrink your mystery. To tame your dream for us. To limit what is possible.

Remind us that the spirit is always blowing new life into our days, surprising us with wonder and blessing.

Forgive us for our dull awareness and hesitant witness. Let us be made new again and again.

And let us hear, again and again of your mercy and your grace. Amen”

May you be at peace today.

Chuck

A Simple Conversation that Matters

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AChuckAllen

I realize that I’m a bit odd. I mean, I know that I’m weird. First, I’m a pastor that works hard at attempting to be normal. Second, I am allergic to chit-chat. No, really! I would never say that I like chatting in the sense of getting together for no purpose other than a chat.

However, I greatly appreciate a conversation grounded in purpose. Purpose feels like an accomplishment, reasoning, debating, sharpening, or resolving.

That’s why I know that the following conversation is a double win for you and your friend, child, parent, or spouse. Maybe even all the above!

Build these three questions into your daily routine and watch how your relationships improve with each day that you engage your person (s) of choice.

1. Start with YOUR BEST: What’s the best thing that happened yesterday?

2. Then Tackle the Worst. What’s the worst that’s happened (or is happening) today?

3. Then Add Prayer. What can I specifically pray for you today?

Please be sure to keep it simple. Keep it very real. Keep it truthful. Once you commit to asking, be equally committed to answering. Here’s the essential element in this brief, personal, purposeful conversation – actually pray for them!

If you don’t have anyone to have this conversation with, let your prayer be that you’ll discover them this week. In the meantime, feel free to send me an email and answer these questions. I’ll reply with my answers and pray earnestly for you.

Go In Peace, Chuck

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