Achuckallen

Instigating Better

Parenting

Unlocking The Power Of Prayer: How It Can Enhance Your Child’s Mental Health

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AChuckAllen.com

Prayer can be a powerful tool in helping improve children’s mental health. I want to explore how parents can use prayer to help children cope with life’s struggles and some of the benefits that come with it. Find out how you can unlock the power of prayer and use it to enhance your child’s mental health!

When you pray with and for your child, you open up a communication channel between you, your precious children, and the Creator of the Universe.

This connection can give your child (children) strength, hope, and greater inner peace. Having parented six daughters and now having seven grandchildren, I can confidently say that providing kids with a more profound sense of peace is a critical part of parenting!

Prayer can also help your kids develop a positive outlook on life. You teach them to rely on God for help and guidance as you pray for them. This dependency can lead to a greater sense of purpose and satisfaction in life. Every parent wants this for their kids. That is a great reason to become a prayer warrior! Children that see life through a half-full lens will have a far greater capacity to change the world as opposed to adapting to the world.

In addition, prayer can help reduce stress and anxiety in your kids. As you lift up your concerns to God, He will provide comfort and peace. This will allow your child to focus on the positive aspects of their life and find hope in difficult situations. Again, every kid needs this, and it is available to every parent!

What is the Power of Prayer?

Prayer is a powerful tool that can be used to enhance your
child’s mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

Prayer can also help to create a sense of community and support for your child. As you pray with and for your child, you invite others to do the same. This can create a loving support network to help your kids Children’sunded by love and care.

Prayer is also a way of connecting with your child on a deeper level. As you pray for your child, you send them love and light from the Divine. This can help to strengthen the bond between you and your family and promote healing in their life.

Benefits of Prayer for Children’s Mental Health

There are plenty of benefits of prayer for children’s mental health. Prayer can help children to develop a positive outlook on life, feel closer to God, and cope with difficult situations. Prayer can also help children to develop self-control and to be more patient. Additionally, prayer can help children to become more grateful and humble. One of the most extraordinary things you can give your child is the gift of gratitude. When we raise grateful children, we will see them develop into generous adults!

How to Introduce Prayer to Your Child

Like most parents, you want your child to grow up happy and healthy. And one of the best ways to help them do that is to introduce them to prayer. But it would help if you led the way. It all starts with YOUR MINDSET!

Here are some tips for introducing prayer to your child:

  1. Talk about why you pray. Explain to your child that prayer is a way to talk to God. Tell them it’s okay if they don’t understand everything about it, but that it’s important to you and something you enjoy doing. Don’t feel like you have to explain everything about God. Take the opposite approach and just be honest. Tell them that there are many things we will never be able to understand about God.
  2. Start slow. Don’t force your kids into long prayers or complicated concepts immediately. Keep it simple at first, and let them grow into prayer at their own pace.
  3. Encourage questions. Invite your child to ask you anything they want about prayer or faith. Be open and honest and encourage their curiosity. The key is to let them see you being curious and learning as well.
  4. Help them find their own way. There’s no one right way to pray, so encourage your child to find what works for them. Whether sitting quietly, kneeling, or using words or songs, let them explore and find what brings them comfort and peace. The Lord of all desires His kids to come to Him in honesty. Let your child’s vulnerability be present as they see yours.
  5. Pray together occasionally. You don’t have to pray together all the time. Don’t make prayer a rule, but rather a way of life.

Tips for Incorporating Prayer into Everyday Life

One of the best ways to incorporate prayer into your child’s life is to make it a part of your daily routine. For example, you can pray together before meals, bedtime, or even during the day when something special happens.

Prayer can also be incorporated into other aspects of your child’s life, such as schoolwork or extracurricular activities. For example, you can help them remember to pray before taking a test or participating in a sporting event. Also, teaching your child how to say grace before meals is another great way to help them learn how to incorporate prayer into their everyday lives.

I am often asked about the prayers like “God is great, God is good…” There is nothing wrong with those prayers because prayer is a matter of the heart. There is something wrong with remaining in that prayer when your heart can convey more than rote memorization to the God we are speaking with.

Common Challenges When Teaching Prayer to Children

One of the most common challenges when teaching prayer to children is getting them to actually pray. This can be a difficult task, especially if they are not used to praying or if they are resistant to it. Keep prayer in front of your children, in your life!

Another challenge is getting children to understand the concept of prayer. They may not fully grasp what it means to pray or why it is important. Combat that by talking about God. Awareness is typically part of consistent learning and experiencing.

Finally, another challenge when teaching children prayer is helping them find the time and space to pray. With busy schedules and so many distractions, it can be challenging for kids to find the time and space to truly focus on prayer.

Prayer is a powerful tool for enhancing mental health, especially in children. It can help them build resilience, increase self-esteem, and learn ways to cope with stress. When used regularly as part of a support system, prayer can be an invaluable resource that gives your child the strength they need to face whatever life throws their way. So if you’re looking for ways to help your child develop emotional intelligence and resilience, consider unlocking the power of prayer today!

Go In Peace, Chuck

A Simple Conversation that Matters

by

AChuckAllen

I realize that I’m a bit odd. I mean, I know that I’m weird. First, I’m a pastor that works hard at attempting to be normal. Second, I am allergic to chit-chat. No, really! I would never say that I like chatting in the sense of getting together for no purpose other than a chat.

However, I greatly appreciate a conversation grounded in purpose. Purpose feels like an accomplishment, reasoning, debating, sharpening, or resolving.

That’s why I know that the following conversation is a double win for you and your friend, child, parent, or spouse. Maybe even all the above!

Build these three questions into your daily routine and watch how your relationships improve with each day that you engage your person (s) of choice.

1. Start with YOUR BEST: What’s the best thing that happened yesterday?

2. Then Tackle the Worst. What’s the worst that’s happened (or is happening) today?

3. Then Add Prayer. What can I specifically pray for you today?

Please be sure to keep it simple. Keep it very real. Keep it truthful. Once you commit to asking, be equally committed to answering. Here’s the essential element in this brief, personal, purposeful conversation – actually pray for them!

If you don’t have anyone to have this conversation with, let your prayer be that you’ll discover them this week. In the meantime, feel free to send me an email and answer these questions. I’ll reply with my answers and pray earnestly for you.

Go In Peace, Chuck

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The Church and Mental Health

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by AChuckAllen 04.20.2021

Like many of my readers, I grew up in an era with zero tolerance for mental illness. We threw terms around that were harmful, hurtful, and disrespectful. We didn’t do that out of some weird bias or odd bigotry, but out of pure ignorance. Today, we all have a better understanding of the significance of our mental and emotional health. But have we stepped into the arena and determined to be a part of the solution instead of saying the usual “somebody ought to do something” line? As for me, I have experienced the oddities of the pandemic, just like you have.

Now is the time to step onto the floor of the arena and determine to
make a difference, and it just might start with you!

First, let’s accept the fact that we all have some sort of anxiety, restlessness, or stress in our life. I haven’t met anyone in the past year that has been able to say that they are stress or worry-free, at least honestly. The power of our brains is astonishing. Our brains are constantly attempting to course-correct our lives, but with enough stressors and insecurities, it can send all of the wrong signals to our bodies.

Did you know that when your brain’s pre-frontal cortex exposes your amygdala, that amygdala kicks into high gear with fear that sends stress hormones coursing through your body? That starts a reaction that creates digestive challenges, rapid heart rates, muscular tingles, and inflammation. None of that sounds good. But here is the good news. You can do something about it! My friend, Julie Homrich, LPC, has been coaching me on the brain and how mental health and spiritual health go hand in hand. She is a really bright human, and I’m continually grateful for our friendship and what she is teaching me. When I came to grips with the fact that we could literally accomplish what Paul wrote in the Bible book of Romans, when he said that we “Should not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our mind, so that we might know the perfect will of God,” I got so captivated that I began an in-depth study to help me understand the correlation with a passage of scripture written some 2,000 years ago and the modern brain.

Romans 12:2 NLT
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

In short, I came to this conclusion: We Need Help!

To keep from remaining in fear, anxiety, and an over-stressed state of mind, we need to know how to be transformed through the renewing of our mind. Maybe you are like me. Maybe you don’t have a severe mental illness, but you are stressed out, maxed out, and occasionally anxiety-riddled. If so, even mildly so, here is a three-step approach that has been scientifically proven to assist you.

1. STOP AND SUSPEND THE PRESENT NARRATIVE. Science has proven that it can take as long as 20 minutes to metabolize the stress hormones sent to our bodies from that fear-mongering amygdala. Stop and suspend your assumptions on the motives, actions, and predetermined conclusions of the present narrative that has your stressors on high alert. Stopping long enough to evaluate before acting is an essential part of coping well and retaining healthy relationships. Stop and allow your mind to ask three questions. 1) What if I didn’t understand the narrative as it was intended? 2) What if the person sharing or group sharing the narrative is in a difficult season or just a terrible day? And 3) What if I am stressed because I am part of the narrative’s problem, and my brain is firing our guilt signals. Suspend the answer and/or action long enough for the stress hormones to clear from your body.

2. ENGAGE IN DOING GOOD. Multiple studies, including a study from Stanford University, have proven that when we take action to help or serve someone else, we are fueling our brain and our soul with dopamine that instantaneously improves our mental and emotional health. If you lead a business, the new economy screams at you that “doing good is good for business.” The new understanding of our brain screams at us doing good is good for us! I know it doesn’t seem like something beneficial to mental health, but both God and science assure us that it is indeed perfect for us!

3. START YOUR DAY WITH PRAYER MEDITATION. I know I just lost half of you, but this is the one thing I would plead with you to do. It’s so simple, and it’s been proven to strengthen our mental and emotional health for centuries. Somehow, in the American culture, we determined we didn’t need that weird meditation stuff. But prayerful meditation isn’t some weird journey with incense and mantras. It is simply quietude, plus solitude, plus mindfulness = peace. I start each day with one question. What am I grateful for, and write it down. I then enjoy about 6 minutes of prayerful meditation through a great, free app, “SOULSPACE.” It is so simple. I listen and pray in a quiet space, and it gets me centered on God’s design for my day and gives me an attitude of gratitude, confidence, and peace. Once again, like serving others, meditation has been scientifically proven to strengthen our brains to transform us into healthy people. How great is that? I am living proof that six minutes each day can radically transform your mind, heart, and soul for good. If you knew me twenty years ago, or more, you might be thinking, “who is this, and what happened to Chuck?” The answer? I’m here, and I’m in the best mental, emotional and spiritual health of my life!

Here is the key. These are simple solutions to a complex challenge. But these three simple steps have proven to make me a far better husband, father, grandfather, pastor, leader, and follower of Jesus. America is a mess, people. We might start with our own mental, emotional, and spiritual health before grumbling more about everyone else’s part of the problem.

I’m also committed to the firm belief that the church desperately needs to tackle mental and emotional health. It is one of the great American crises of the day. We, the church, have the opportunity to stop lobbing bible verse hand grenades at people in crises and offer real, tangible, God-honoring solutions. I’m in no way suggesting that scripture isn’t tangible. I am strongly stating that scripture and science are a hand in glove experience. Mental health is a practical part of Christian discipleship. As we learn to surrender our assumptions and egos to the will of God, we discover contentment. When we are contented, we can, as Paul stated, “do all things through Christ Jesus.” But surrender and contentment require a healthy state of mind and emotion.

It’s like a wheel that keeps rolling. Strive for mental and emotional health. Seek peace in that journey. Keep it sustainable, not just based on feelings. Surrender our lives and discover contented gratitude and boom! There it is, PEACE! That sounds exactly like what Jesus would invest in should He have chosen this generation to walk on the face of the planet. Oh, wait! That’s exactly what He did, as He walked across Israel some two-thousand years ago. Jesus cares about our mental and emotional health – Be more like Jesus!

Go in Peace,
Chuck

If I Were 17 Again

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If I Were 17 Again by AChuckAllen

Even with the odd graduations of 2020, it would appear that we will be going back to school this fall. As a result, I started thinking about the things I would do differently if I were about to start my senior year at South Gwinnett High School again.

I enjoyed my high school years, well at least a couple of them. My dad moved us several times during my four years, but I wound up attending three schools, but two schools for three years. I know, it was odd.

I have fond memories of my short time at Southwest Dekalb High School, which I attended for one fall and then we were off to South Gwinnett. There we stayed for almost two full years and we made a stop in Lubbock, Texas. I attended a few Summer School classes attempting to avoid sitting out a year of varsity football. That summer turned out to be a great year and held one of my favorite adventures of high school. I was 15 years old, living with Mom and Dad in Texas. I would have had to sit out a football season and so, moving back to Georgia was my highest priority. So, I left Mom, Dad and the sweetest little girlfriend, Deanna and drove myself (remember-15 years old) from Lubbock, Texas directly to Camp Bow and Arrow for football camp with my teammates – The Not So Mighty South Gwinnett Comets. That trip at 15 years old included a night of sleep in the back of my Monte Carlo in Vicksburg, Mississippi. Sometimes being stupid will cause you to grow up in a hurry. So, after that little bypass, here are my re-wishes.

If I could relive a few of those senior days, I would have:

1. I wish that I had been less of a butthead and been a nicer human being. Especially to kids that were struggling.

2. I wish I had been a real Follower of Christ, not a convenient Christian with no spiritual guts at all.

3. I wish I had played every single play like I was one yard away from winning the Super Bowl. I loved playing ball!

4. I wish I would have said yes to Troy.

5. I wish I would have focused more on literature and actually listened to Mrs. Adair. I didn’t particularly like her.

6. I wish I had started intentionally reading earlier in life…like as in at 17.

7. I wish I would have made that one tackle that got away from me while playing the coldest game of my life at Elbert County. That dude was big.

8. I wish I would have kicked the guy playing over me as I was long snapping while at Habersham County in the privates. I don’t even know his name, but I still hate him.

9. I wish I would have treated my Mom and Dad with more respect. When you are 17-18 years old you really are an idiot.

10. And finally, I wish that I would have honored my coaches for the painstaking efforts they poured into me. I’d still try and run through a wall for any of them..especially Coaches Strickland, Johnson, Carter and Sawyer.

We don’t have the luxury of reliving our past, but we can pass along our hard earned knowledge to those that come behind us. So, feel free to share these and your desired mulligans with the kids that will start their Senior years this Fall.

Go in Peace, AChuck

These are Superpowers

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These Are Superpowers by ACHUCKAllen

I grabbed a Delta jet to my hometown, Daytona Beach, Florida Sunday afternoon to officiate a friend’s son’s wedding. It was a rainy afternoon with thunderstorms strong enough to sweep the beach of every vacationing family. I thought that we would definitely be having an indoor wedding. This is a young couple that needed a wedding to happen on the beach, just outside the condominium that the groom has been vacationing at for 20 plus years. It wasn’t looking good as the skies grew darker.

But at 7:00pm, just thirty-minutes before the wedding, the clouds blew out and the sun started peeking around the now white and fluffy clouds. By 7:30, there was a nice breeze and it was a beautiful evening for a wedding on the beach.

What was the superpower that moved that storm away? A daddy that loves his boy and a couple that has chosen the path of grace and kindness over judgement and legalism. The answer the groom’s daddy gave every person regarding the weather was simple. To every person, whether they were Followers of Jesus or not, his answer was, “well, the Lord is good and He heard our prayers.” Was the prayer the superpower or the kindness? And the answer is YES!

Here is what I know with great certainty: When you openly speak about the things of God, good things happen.

On Monday, I was on my way from my room to the hotel elevator when I met Kadian . Kadian is a young mom from Jamaica. I said the usual “good morning and how are you today” remarks and she seemed timid and a bit distracted. I was hungry and hopped on the elevator and hit the button for the lobby. It was at that moment the Lord spoke as clearly to me as I was hoping a server would when I ordered my breakfast. The Lord was clear. “Chuck, stop the elevator, go back and give that girl some money.” He was specific about the amount and the action. I responded like I often do, “Lord, I’ll find her after breakfast.”

Here’s a life lesson. The Lord doesn’t desire His kids to delay in acting on His directions.

So, I got off the elevator at the Lobby, smelling the sausage, bacon, French toast and biscuits (sorry). And I got back on the elevator and road back to the tenth floor. I found Kadian and told her that the Lord told me to bring her this money. She teared up and asked me to stop in the middle of the hallway and pray for her. I did and decided to pray big. When I said amen and finished, two separate couples had joined in the serendipitous prayer meeting and we were all crying. Kadian looked me in the eyes and said that she told her son, as she left their apartment early Monday morning that “God would provide today.” Well, how bout that?

Was it the money or the act of Kindness the Lord directed me with. The answer is YES!

Again, When you openly speak about the things of God, good things happen.

You have superpowers at your disposal every single day. Prayer, Kindness, Graciousness and Obedience. I wonder what our world might look like if we were to lay down our egos, logos and personal preferences and replaced them with Prayer, Graciousness and Obedience? Imagine a day that you choose the superpower of openly speaking about the things of God…and good things happen? Would we really make a dent in this planet for the betterment of mankind? The Answer, YES!

Go in Peace,
AChuck

Three Traits of a Healthy Friend

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Whether you are an introvert, an extrovert, a people person or a social outcast, one thing I know to be true…We are built to do this life together. God Himself placed this into His creation. He said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us.” Emphasis on US!

In my line of work, you better have friends. When I was a builder/developer, I needed friends. Actually, I’ve never found myself doing anything that mattered without needing friends to challenge me, encourage me and hold me accountable.

I am an awful friend. I know that’s an awful confession about a pastor. But it’s true. I don’t reach out to many other guys, but I should. I don’t naturally gravitate toward encouragement, but I should. I don’t stop and check on how I could help someone or pray for them nearly enough, but I should.

Over the course of the past 5-6 years I’ve come to a state of mind and attitude that I want to become a really good friend and I want and need really good friends. So here are three attributes of what I want to be to a friend and what I think I’d like to have in the quality of my friends.

    1. Real Time Authenticity. I don’t need a rehearsed or scripted conversation that always ends in what I can do for them. I’ve learned the hard way that if your friends disappear the moment you cannot offer them something, you never really had their friendship. You were an acquaintance that offered a needed service hidden behind the mask of friendship. I also want to know that my friends and I with them, are the same person in any environment. A good friend of mine is a big deal. I mean, he’s a really big deal, but when he sees me walk into a room, he treats me like I’m a big deal. I want to be an authentic friend that treats my friends like a big deal.
    2. Limitless Honesty. I want my friends to tell me truth, especially when it is challenging. And I want to be able to tell my friends those things (in honesty) that might be a challenge. No matter what it is about, the truth is always the right conversation with a true friend. And not just when it’s convenient. I’ve been the emperor with no britches and that’s not cool!
    3. Compassionate Accountability. The last thing I need in a friend is someone that will let me coast or slip. I need friends that will graciously hold me accountable in my walk with God, my marriage, family, career and attitudes. My wife Jenny is my number one fan, but she is also my number one accountability partner. She will bust me on a bad attitude or selfish motive in a heart beat. For that and so much more, I love her so much! But really, I’m not looking for drill sergeants and I have no desire to become a drill Sargent. Compassion and kindness are required to lovingly hold a friend accountable.

There are plenty of other qualities in friendship, but these three seemed to rush to the front of the line. I am fully confident that this world would be a far better place to lead, love and lead should we choose to live in friendship with Real Time Authenticity, Limitless Honesty and Compassionate Accountability!

As Fred Rogers well said, “won’t you be my neighbor?”

Go in Peace,
AChuck