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Careful Criticism

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If you went back to President Bill Clinton’s first term and continued into President George W. Bush’s terms, then-President Barak Obama’s terms and President Donald Trump’s term, you would find two commonalities. First, you would discover that at the changing of the party platforms, radical changes took place. Second, you would find that the party that lost became progressively louder in the disagreement and criticism of platforms and policies.

Please don’t hear me say that we shouldn’t disagree and even disagree with great concern. I will say, however, that we must get a few things done that require some cooperation. The country must move forward and stop spending all of our energies fighting battles among ourselves. At some point, America will experience a significant and horrible challenge that will require left and right, donkey and elephant, black and white, to rally around our most core beliefs and work together.

Following that last paragraph, I am contemplating a complete rewrite. The left is warming up their keyboards, ready to fire off a blistering assault on my alleged intelligence. The right is preparing to continue the string of recent notes of joy that have called into question my faith, my sanity, and my patriotism. But I need to move on.

I titled this article “Careful Criticism.” One of the many problems in our Capital is the full-time politicians and their assault on whoever the “other party” is. It’s a problem because we are electing and paying people to do nothing but gripe, criticize, and complain. We have full-time whiners and news pundits, but very few get-it-done leaders are remaining. You pick the side, and you’ll find whiners, critics, and gripers. At some point, we have to discover some common ground and start moving forward. If we don’t, we will whine, blame, and criticize our way into a debt we cannot pay, a fight we cannot win, or a mistake from which we cannot recover.

I get it. Blue doesn’t want to agree with pro-life Red. Red doesn’t want to agree with green-deal Blue. I am not suggesting that anyone step away from their convictions. I am suggesting that there are areas in which we must fight to discover SOME common ground and press forward toward a better union and better Republic. Again, I am in no way suggesting we lay down convictions. I am suggesting that we lay down our anger, vitriol, and incivility. I mean that we rise as the great nation that we are and elect women and men with love for this country that exceeds their love for power and television time. Come on, America! We are so much better than the childish bickering that seems to keep our airwaves filled with more lavish and unstable hate-speak. To do that, we must stop electing career politicians. We must stop supporting anger-filled pundits, even if they agree with our ideologies, and we must elect leaders filled with integrity, decency, and character. We must also elect leaders that agree with serious campaign finance reform and term limits. If we do not, the stagnation of constant criticism will be rewarded with an ever-growing civil war that will occur every four-years yet change very little. At some point, we will have to elect women and men that have courage without anger. We must accept that no one is clean enough not to have some checkered past. We could use some common sense and some people that have experienced the need for grace and correction. We really could use a few leaders that have received and learned how to extend some grace and discipline.

Whatever it takes, we must move beyond the name-calling, foolish tirades, and attention-grabbing camera bluster of so-called leaders that get nothing done but partisan criticism and positioning. Maybe you should run for an elected office. Perhaps I should run for an elected office. But then, we would be under the microscope of criticism, and maybe someone might ask the question, could we handle the heat in that oven-like kitchen?

America, we must be careful with our criticism. It seems to be at the heart of our battles. We can disagree, and we should oppose other ideations of this land. We are a Republic founded on diverse people, which had, and still has vastly diverse thought. But we are Americans, for goodness sake. Let’s act like it!

Chuck

Four Lessons I Learned from COVID-19

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First, let me freely admit that I greatly underestimated Covid-19! I thought I would be a little sickly and get over it in a few days. Boy, was I wrong? I was one of those folks that had almost every symptom you can have. I was down and out of commission for the better part of two weeks. Over the course of those two weeks, I learned four critical lessons that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Hopefully, they will benefit you, and prayerfully you won’t have to have Covid-19 to learn them.

Here are the FOUR LESSONS from COVID-19

1 You are not in charge! You may think that you are, but you are not in charge. Here are three points that make this point.
– I did everything one should do to avoid Covid, but it found me.
– Every medication and every treatment might have been helpful, but God Himself chose to determine my timetable with this wicked enemy. – The only way to health is to stop trying to power through it.

Friends, this virus is the real deal. My encouragement to you is to recognize that we shouldn’t live in fear of Covid-19, but we should honor the fact that any of us can contract this thing, and we are all potential victims. I’m not too fond of wearing a mask. I hate the politicization of wearing a mask even more. I despise the need to cancel live worship and groups, but I would never want anybody to struggle as I did with this stuff! I’ve read and listened to so many varying opinions on masks and distancing that I really am not certain of “the science we are to follow.” I am however, keenly aware that if there is any way to keep people we love as safe as possible, why not give in and ride this thing out? In other words, just wear the mask.

You are not in control. As the Stoics were fond of saying, “The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we can’t. What we have influence over and what we do not. If we can focus on making clear what parts of our day are within our control and what parts are not, we will not only be happier; we will have a distinct advantage over other people who fail to realize they are fighting an unwinnable battle.”

2 There is a Purpose Within this Virus. For the last nine days of my fight with Covid-19, I started my day with a Gratitude Journal. Inside the journal and number one on my list each day was this statement, “Thank You for Covid-19.” No, I’m not as dumb as I look. I read more, learned more, prayed more, and grew more during Covid than I had in the previous six months. The Divine allowed my time with Covid to redeem my plans for 2021. He allowed me time to rethink almost every part of my life. I was determined to accomplish several things in 2021, but a few of those things have changed significantly! While I do not believe this virus was Heaven created, the Divine is certainly using it to accomplish much. What, I wonder, has He been teaching you? If you aren’t sure, then learn this lesson and slow the pace of your day down and listen for His still, powerful voice.

3 Solitude is Healthy! I speak for the many people that are introverts by nature, but also for people that are around people all the time. Solitude is necessary to think clearly. It is needed to meditate and pray consistently. Solitude can allow for serious planning, and most importantly, solitude will drive you to get off life’s hamster wheel and speak with your Creator and listen for Him to speak into your life. Covid-19 forced me to enjoy and now crave solitude.

4 Everybody Really is dispensable! While I continued working from home, I had people that continued the good work and the good word of Sugar Hill Church. I had friends that prayed for me, covered my bases, and did all manner of caring for me and feeding me. Thank You! I watched as my team functioned wonderfully. I saw them lead and lead well. I was blessed by how they were both concerned for me, but also how they were even more concerned about the health and ministry of our faith community. I felt missed but never required. I felt blessed and never completely essential. Jenny was amazing, as usual. She put up with my whining and griping and moody ways. The girls all checked on me, daily and my dearest friends were more concerned for me than they were for themselves when they had Covid. I discovered, and I’ll bet that you would as well; that you are not indispensable, but you are deeply loved and cared for.

There are dozens of additional lessons learned during my battle, but I’ll stop for today. Thanks to all of you that prayed for me and shared your kindness with my family!

Peace, Chuck

The Complexity of Reason

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I doubt if it is safe to jump in the
water yet, but here goes.

Looking Back at the Election, I would Like to Offer Two Big Thoughts:

1. President Trump actually has no one to blame for his lost bid for a second term but himself. You cannot continually exhaust people with tirades for four years and expect a country in desperate need of logic and grace-filled leadership to continue to support you. I know that will ruffle my fellow Republicans, but I believe it to be an honest assessment of the last ninety-days of the 2020 election.

2. The Democratic teams of leadership, like Stacy Abrams out-survived the republicans. They put together a strategic plan that provided for legal means to register, gather, and count votes. While I am sure there was voter-fraud in many places, I do not believe the election was “stolen.” If like me, you were on the losing side, you want to believe that was the case, but wishing it to be so is not the same as proving that it is so. I agree with Lindsey Graham when he stated, ” I was told of 10,000 cases of illegal votes and asked for proof of ten. I received none.” I think that has been a truthful statement across the country. The bottom line lesson for republicans? Learn from Stacy Abrams. She is a brilliant human.

Here are Two Thoughts on the Attack on the Capital.

1. For those of you that wish to absolve yourself of the riotous lunatics that busted out windows, swung from the gallery of the Congress and stormed the Capital of the United States of America, I totally understand. I heard people trying to justify this insidious action by comparing it to BLM and Antifa’s actions last summer. Is that really a reason to raid your own capital? Those who participated in that action or attempting to deny its stupidity truly express their own lack of knowledge, wisdom, decency, or patriotism. I believe that 99.99% of the people in Washington were there to protest peacefully. I do not believe that the President intended to insight any violence, but we must speak loudly regarding evil, or we will continue to wallow in it. It may be an ancient saying, but it is appropriate for this year, “Two Wrongs Never Make a Right.”

2. While I do not believe that President Trump instigated violence or intended to do so, he does bear some responsibility for this mess. To continue the barrage of insults to his own party leaders that have been so faithful to him over the past years, simply for encouraging him to act like an adult encourages other people to join the fray. Vice President Pence has been far more loyal to the President than any human on the planet. To call and browbeat state elected officials isn’t cool. To continually argue against your own people allowed those that were “on the bubble” with the President to jump off the wagon. Again, see my statement regarding Stacy Abrams. I think the Republicans got outsmarted, out strategized, and outmanned. As a result, they lost. End of story. Rather than “sometimes you win, sometimes you lose,” maybe the Republicans should see it this way, “sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.” Mr. Trump, you were the President. Your words carry far greater weight than us regular folks. To claim theft and enrage millions of supporters with claims that carried no legal proof was to play a significant role in what occurred at the Capital. Every side has nut jobs. Ours were public and needed to have been reprimanded by the President within seconds of the first act of violence.

I know I’ve made simple claims and elementary statements in this post. Still, now more than ever, the United States of America needs voices of logic, reason, and civility from our leaders. When our voices are shut down simply because we disagree on who we voted for, we have lost our opportunity to express decency and civility. Vocabulary.com states that REASON is defined as, “Reason usually has to do with thought and logic instead of emotion. If people think you show good reason or are reasonable, it means you think things through. If people think you have a good reason for doing something, it means you have a motive that makes sense.” Boy, oh boy, we could use some reason right now. This constant hatred and childish bickering MUST STOP! The right and the left and the middle must put the American people’s welfare – ALL OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE – ahead of party lines, party platforms, personal preferences, and petty divisions.

REASON. This great land will return to a voice of reason when we all lay down our pitchforks and words of mass destruction. When we speak to folks with which we disagree with civility tones and seek to understand more than seeking to be understood.

Reason. It’s pretty simple. Then why do we seem to work so hard to make it complex?

Peace, Chuck

Outrageous Foolery

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The world has gone all the way over the hill in its idiocy, cruelty, and incivility!

I refuse to watch the hearings regarding Judge Kavanaugh or Dr. Ford. Not because they aren’t important, but rather because of the sheer foolishness in the conversations. PLEASE don’t get me wrong. I do not want to become another voice in a crowded space of terminally certain people screaming at this process or these people.

I do, however, wish to point out that somehow, someway we have become bullhorns full of often foolish assumptions, attitudes, and narratives that leave no room for civility, decency or gracious leadership.

I’ve never met Dr. Ford and I’ve never met Judge Kavanaugh. I do not know whether he or she over-served themselves in high school, college, or in their present lives.

I do know that both of these people seem to have become pawns in a whirlwind of binary thought focused on party lines. And friend, that’s a shame.

Dr. Ford is probably a credible person that has had a challenging and gut-wrenching experience. Judge Kavanaugh is probably a credible person that has now had a gut-wrenching experience himself. Neither of these folks is ideal or perfect, I’m sure. My soul hurts for them both. They both have been sucked up into a funnel cloud of anger, resentment, incivility, and hate. I’ll bet that both of them would love to go back a couple of months and have a mulligan. But that isn’t going to happen.

This divided loyalist party line foolishness must stop! We cannot continue down this nasty slope of finger-wagging, name calling, and party line dogma that is currently the norm. Not just in DC, but in every area of our life!

The only thing I know to do personally is to want to want to be a better man. A better follower of Jesus, and seek to not let my heart and my soul follow the easy road to sarcasm, incivility, cruel intentions and angry actions. I need to work on me.

God help us if we ever give in to walking the path of critical, mean-spirited conversation regarding everything. I see it in politics, business, families, leadership and yes, in the church.

Surely we are better than all that, aren’t we?

Maybe you are wondering how to start correcting your own voice, attitude or assumptions. Here are three suggestions that I promise to work on with you:

  1. TAKE A LONG LOOK IN THE MIRROR and compile a short list of not more than 3 things that you would like to correct. Maybe it’s a temper or an attitude. Maybe it’s a critical spirit or an envious heart. Ask the Divine to point out the truth in any of these areas. WRITE THEM DOWN! Then assess yourself each day for the next week on a scale of 1-10. “1” is you totally blew it. “10” is you fought that dragon and you are killing it. Here’s a suggestion – You are rarely on either fringe, but you should always be moving forward.
  2. STOP NEGATIVE LANGUAGE! No matter how you may think or feel about something, recognize that just because we think it, doesn’t always make it so. Negative talk to others leaves no room for mercy, grace, wisdom or genuine blessing to become a part of the cure. STOP IT! Stop the negative talk, both to yourself and to others as well.
  3. READ THROUGH THE GOSPELS with a slow, note-taking, methodical read. I promise you that the hate speech that is now our norm can be whisked aside to make room for learning more intently the truths and teachings of Jesus. He is where we will feel a serious respite from the barrage of the shouting masses, regardless of which side they come from.

If we are to find our way out of this pit of foolishness, it will be a result of the people of faith ceasing to engage the foolery.

Take a look at the words used in Proverbs 26:4; “Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.“

If you would like another word on civility, just click HERE on this BLOG:

–AChuck

Go Ahead & Dance

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I can’t dance, but I convince myself that I can occasionally. Don’t you just bust out a groove thing and dance sometimes? I do! It’s usually when I am cleaning our main floor. I ask Alexa (Amazon Echo) to play some Sly and the Family Stone and just crank it up and dance to the music, dance to the music! (See what I did right there?)

And then, there are times that I lose my pastoral inhibitions and bust out in public – just watch. WAIT! Before you click on the play button below, be sure there are no children in the room. This is not pretty!

The thing about dancing is that it’s a great equalizer.  How many people do you know that don’t look silly dancing? We all do. There’s always that person or that couple that really shows off because they took classes. Come on, man! The beauty of dancing isn’t Dancing with the Stars, it’s in losing your fear and insecurities and just dancing!

Life is hectic, stress-filled and can seem overwhelming most of the time. But how we respond to life’s challenges determines how well we will handle the next challenge. We are all in one of three stages of life. We are in a mess, just getting out of a mess, or preparing for the next mess. I am convinced that most of us would truly be happier, healthier and more content if we would just let go occasionally!

I’ve spent most of my life attempting to achieve everybody else’s plan for my life. When I set my course to the true north found on the compass of the Divine, I started to dance to the music, I found peace, fulfillment, and laughter playing a much bigger role in my day to day life. I still find myself in a mess, or just coming out of a mess, but I don’t linger there. I have learned that when I “just dance”, both literally and figuratively,  I significantly shorten the seasons of struggle. When I let my soul dance, I am worshipping in a spirit of gratitude, praising in a spirit of joy, trusting with great hope, and loving without selfishness. When I dance literally, I look ridiculous, but in that moment, I’m John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.

Let your soul dance today and get your groove thing on, as you sway to the rhythms of grace. Turn you hang ups and fears loose and enjoy the journey. When you do, you’ll discover that you are encouraging everyone you connect with…even if they use your dance video to get a few laughs!

Go ahead! Let your soul dance today!

–AChuck

Six Qualities of a Great Spouse

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SIX QUALITIES OF A GREAT SPOUSE by AChuckAllen

I’ve been married to 2 women over a collective 35 years. I’ve seen what death and divorce can do to a family, up close and personal. I have survived blending six daughters, six moves, five career changes, losing everything I own and bouts of depression that have literally crippled me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am not an expert on anything, but I do have an earned Ph.D. in failure at it’s highest level. 

I have five beautiful grandchildren that I desperately want to be more involved with day by day by day. At present, I am a bit of an epic failure as a granddad – I am fixing that starting today! I have six extraordinary daughters, two that are biologically mine and four that are equally mine (at least in my heart and soul). I am beyond blessed to have a loving, godly wife that tolerates all my weirdness and I am honored to serve the greatest church on the planet! I tell you all of this to say that the following six characteristics of a great spouse have a lot of life experience behind them.

So! Here are Six Qualities of an AMAZING SPOUSE:

  1. They know how to listen to you when you are hurting, and they listen to you when you are frustrated. They listen to you when life is awesome and they listen to your dreams…even when they are thinking, “Oh my gosh, that’s such a dumb idea.” They listen when you are winning or losing…they listen!
  2. They always speak positively about you to their family and their friends. When their friends are trashing their spouses in a group chat, they heap praise on their spouse with great pride. If they don’t have much to say in the positive column, they offer kind and gracious words knowing who you really are.
  3. They want to be the first one to say sorry when a spat has occurred. Not because they were wrong or right, but because they want to make things right! Friends, this is the gold standard of spouses. The desire and ability to forgive and move on to more loving moments are amazing qualities. Thanks for that, Jenny!
  4. They always encourage you, even when they are giving you painful advice. Their advice (difficult or simple)  is always founded in love, grace, and kindness. ALWAYS! They know the best way to share fears, concerns, and anxieties by ensuring their spouse that those emotions are about themselves.
  5. They always tell the truth! They never have to sweep the data from their web browser, clean off their text messages, or worry about if their spouse/kids can find them on find-a-friend. They don’t worry about it because there are no secrets other than a birthday, anniversary or Christmas present. They are willing to be held to a great degree of accountability because they are not afraid of being “caught” doing something inappropriate. The truth is shared when the news is good and when the news is bad! Tell the Truth!!! Always!!
  6. They want to convey that they value their spouse by treating them as the most valuable part of their lives (outside of the Divine). They seek ways to bless their spouse, praise their spouse. They want their spouse to be Waterford Crystal clear that they are loved more – every single day. They are passionate about their sweetheart knowing they are valued, loved and treasured.

Please do not read these and assume that I have mastered any of these. I do however desire to live these qualities out in my marriage. Frankly, Jenny makes attempting these pretty easy. You see, ten years ago, she rescues my sorry behind. Gosh, we’ve learned a lot! I sure hope these will be an encouragement to you!

–AChuck