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If You Want a Great Day

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HAVE A GREAT DAY!

IF YOU WANT A GREAT DAY by ACHUCKAllen

We’ve all had “those days.” You know what I’m talking about. The days that you feel like everything just explodes on you with the foul stench of negativity. The kind of day when you aren’t sure why, but you just can’t get over the roar that you hear in your head that is screaming for you to lose it with whoever is the next person in front of you. I’ve had plenty of those days as well, but I’ve also learned a few things that minimize the number of the gross days significantly.

Here are three ways to minimize the number of days that kick you in the hind parts and maximize the number of days that you kick the world’s hind parts. Come on, let’s do this!

  1. I know you are tired of reading these words, but I will promise you that if you will start your day off by writing down 2-3 things that you are grateful for, it will change your life. If you are a regular reader, you know that I started a gratitude journal a few years ago. I KNOW that it has had a radical impact on my life, in every good way!
  2. That’s not an overstatement, that’s a scientifically proven fact. Every study, including Harvard Medical School, says that gratitude has a huge impact on our lives.Here is a quote from the Harvard Med Study: “Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”
  3. Limit the number of tasks on your to-do list, but get the biggest, most challenging task out of the way first! If you are like 99% of Americans, you like the feel of checking your to-do’s off, so you tackle the easiest tasks on your list out of the gate. If you limit the number of tasks to ensure that you stay focused on what matters most, you will rest better, sleep better and remain energized by your accomplishments and success. Mark Twain once said; “Eat a live frog every morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” One of our most powerful emotions is the sense of accomplishment. There is nothing quite like slaying your badest, nastiest dragon first thing!
  4. Learn to take 10 minutes and meditate! I know what you are thinking, “Chuck, dude, you are killing me. If I have to swallow the big frog first, I don’t have time to meditate. Abraham Lincoln said; “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the ax.”Given his task, it seemed to have served him pretty well. Meditation is sharpening your ax to slay the dragon, or eat the frog! In my world, meditation includes four elements, over 20 minutes. You can start with 10 minutes and add to that as your habit forms.
  5. Here is my meditation plan:
    1) Write down three things that I am grateful for. Over the past three years, I have never run out of things to be grateful for.
    2)     Read a short piece of a Bible reading plan (I enjoy He Reads Truth or the plans in YouVerse).
    3) I pray out loud. I know that may not be your thing, but I am distracted easily and I’ve found that praying out loud and with my eyes open helps me “feel like me and the Divine are in a friendly chat.”
    4) Quietude. This was the step in my meditation maturation that took longer to learn. I had to learn the discipline of quietude. It doesn’t take long, but about 3 minutes of quietude can settle your soul to the degree that you can actually “hear” the promptings of the Divine. Just a thought, but I think this is why we have two listening ears and one talking mouth.    The key to having far more days that are great, rather than gross is to learn this discipline of meditation. Maybe your faith system never saw meditation as part of wholeness and health, but you can trust this ancient and biblical meditation habit to set your soul on a course for peace, fulfillment and even happiness.

Sharpen your ax, my friend and see how consistency in the art of meditation changes every aspect of your life for the better!

–AChuck

Why?

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A few of life’s greatest questions:

  • Why should I give?
  • Why should I serve?
  • Why should I sacrifice?
  • Why should I volunteer?

These loaded questions should be pretty simple to answer. Yet somehow they seem to be lacking in our lives. WHY isn’t clear any longer when it comes to things like serving your country. The illusive WHY seems to be non-existent in most of our churches. And WHY has left the station when it comes to the American culture and workforce. I am abundantly confident that WHY is dead in the land of politics and the governance of our republic.

This world is in desperate need for a few courageous leaders that might dare challenge the status quo with a truthful, clear, common and compelling WHY.

Example: Why should we be grateful? Because we haven proven in both faith based and for profit organizations that when we are grateful, we are more productive, more gracious and more truthful. Not to mention that we are far more content. The bonus cherry on top of the sundae is that when we are grateful for what we have, what we have is more than enough.

Here’s another: Why should we volunteer with organizations that are focused on helping people? Because we know that people who volunteer to help people in need are more aware and open to offer life-altering hope for others. And by doing so, they discover a contented life themselves. Who wouldn’t want that?

And just one more: Why should we sacrificially give our financial resources to help others and organizations that help others? Because when we give in such a way that we feel both the sacrifice and the blessing, we recognize that our sacrifice is the single best emotional return on our investment – PERIOD.

WHY also screams out to us in big bold words, written across the sky, THAT YOU NEED A WHITE-HOT WHY! If we want a WHY to what we give away, we must also be capable of answering WHY you do what you do.

Take a few minutes and attempt to write you WHITE-HOT WHY. Then ask yourself, with ruthless truth — Are you living your why?

In a rather transparent moment, let me say that I found this exercise more challenging than I ever imagined it would be. So, here you go…

  1. I am overwhelmed with the power of the Divine when my heart is surrendered to Him. As a result, I want to help folks know that because of what Christ has already done — they can do this. They can love God with all of their heart mind and soul, and be a normal person. Why? Because Jesus never complicated living for Him, we did.
  2. I want to help shrink the high school dropout rate to 0% in our city. Why? Because better equipped students can continue their education and stop the cycle of ongoing poverty in and around our city.
  3. I would love to provide transitional housing and life skill training for single moms in our region. Why? Because the government cannot meet this need. If we want to effectively change the nature of our communities, we will take a quantum leap in doing so by assisting single moms become emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy. As our moms go, so will much of our cities go. And who doesn’t love a contented, loving and peace-filled mom.

I think you get it. We set a course for a better universe when we can simply answer WHY?

Go Find Your White-Hot Why and chase it like you’re life depended on it.

–AChuck

11 Lessons in 11 Years with Jenny

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11 Lessons in 11 Years with Jenny by ACHUCKAllen

I was a widower, a single dad and a ministry leader that traveled most weeks Monday thru Thursday. What in the world was I to do? I mean, a single dad is tough, a widower at age 47 was tougher and to do that along with traveling was not an option.

I asked Jenny and her four daughters to marry me and my two daughters in 2007. Trying to find a date that worked with daughters, moms, and travel was not looking too promising. So, like intelligent adults, we decided to get married the next day, March 6, 2007. We checked the girls out of school, Jenny left work, I left work and Charlotte and Mona Rose came to meet us in the Chapel at Sugar Hill Church. We all said, “I Do,” and went back to school, work, and life. That was eleven years ago today.

In my eleven years as Jenny’s husband, I’ve learned a few hundred things, but here are eleven. See what I did right there? Eleven learnings in eleven years?

Here You Go:

  1. Just say it – Don’t avoid the tough conversations.
  2. Trust is the most powerful language of love.
  3. Don’t get swept up in drama. It’s the fastest way to get sidetracked from what matters most.
  4. Love is a gift from God. Keep Him in the center of your marriage and you can overcome anything.
  5. Always be willing to dig deep and find the artist within all of us.
  6. Never be afraid to fail. Go for it!
  7. Stay inquisitive. It’s more fun to try something new than to grow old and stop learning.
  8. When dealing with a problem, get to the heart of the matter as fast as you can.
  9. Love is always forgiving. Always.
  10. Read your Bible and talk with God – every single day.
  11. Tomorrow, tomorrow, there’s always tomorrow. Stay positive and stay humble. When you do, great things happen.

Jenny rescued me in so many ways eleven years ago. I could never say enough HAPPY ANNIVERSARIES to convey how grateful I am and how very much I love her.

Here’s to the next eleven as we grow old together.

–AChuck

10 Ways to Ace Valentines Day

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56bc23645e0b5.image10 Ways to Ace Valentines Day by ACHUCKAllen

Most of us need tutorials in the way of expressing our love and dare I actually say feelings? We all have them and we all struggle to manage them! Here are a few ways that you can get on the autobahn of love and cruise as fast as you wish!

If you are thinking that I may have missed the correct date for Valentines Day, the answer is nope! I am keenly aware that today is Thursday, February 8. And knowing how many folks wait until lunchtime on February 14 and have a huge swing and a miss, I thought you might appreciate a bit longer on-ramp to your big day with your love.

Before you read these brief nuggets of gold and cubic zirconia, please know that these are fail-proof. These choice pieces of wisdom have been dropped from the heavenly’s and provided for you to prove your sincere and undying love.

Here are TEN WAYS TO ACE Valentines Day

  1. LEARN TO LISTEN WITHOUT INTERJECTING. This, my friend, is the real deal. It takes patience, which can be learned. It takes deep, abiding love, which you already possess. And it requires you to genuinely value your sweetheart. Proverbs 18:13
  2. TALK. I MEAN ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER. Not in mumbled “whatever grunts” but talk. It’s a very cool part of life. Don’t miss it – especially when you talk without condemnation. James 1:19
  3. GIVE GENEROUSLY & GRACIOUSLY. Simply give your best, without sparing. Proverbs 21:26
  4. PRAY FOR THEM WITHOUT CEASING. I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. I will say this. The times when Jenny and I are most in sync is when we pray together – out loud. Colossians 1:9
  5. ANSWER WITHOUT ARGUING. I am so bad about this. I love to immediately respond in a defensive mode when it is never helpful. Proverbs 17:1
  6. SHARE & SHARE MORE. When we leave no room for doubt, it is always because we have spoken in truth. Pretending to share what you think they want to hear is simply deceit. It always reveals the pretender. Ephesians 4:15
  7. ENJOY THEM AS THE GIFT GOD INTENDED THEM TO BE. The Divine broke out the gift baskets and gave you to each other as gifts. Enjoy each other without complaining. Philippians 2:14
  8. TRUST THEM. Trust is a fragile element to healthy relationships. It is high octane fuel when a marriage is cruising well. It is oil sludge when it’s broken. Keep this in mind. You are one small step away from losing trust. 1 Corinthians 13:7
  9. FORGIVE WITHOUT KEEPING SCORE. If you’ve been on my BLOG for more than a month, you’ve heard this before, but forgiveness is the magic elixir in a healthy relationship! Colossians 3:13
  10. PROMISE & KEEP THAT PROMISE. If you need reminders, build them into your time management system. If need them and do not have a time management system, well, I can’t help you. Promises kept are rocket fuel for trust! Proverbs 13:12

I’ve got some work to do on all of these and I’d imagine that you do as well. Flowers, candies, jewelry, and dinners out are great and I strongly urge you to remember those things. But if you want Valentines Day to be 365 days a year, take these lessons and live them to the fullest.

Peace,
AChuck

5 Ways to Experience Family Devotions

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Happy family on the couch reading storybook at home in the living room

5 Ways to Experience Family Devotions by AChuckAllen

As a parent and a grandparent, I’ve had my fair share of seasons that I wondered if I could be any worse as a parent. Now that all of our girls are “grown-ups,” I still occasionally wonder if I did everything that I could have done. I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to answer that. I know this, they are far better kids that I was, and they all are on uniquely different paths in their emotional, spiritual and developmental journey.

I am often asked how to “do family devotions.” Let me say that I was truly not a
model of excellence in this effort, but I have observed and experienced a few things along the way with our daughters…all six of them.

  1. Don’t try to force a book or a systematic process that doesn’t work for you and your kids. Don’t force a time or a schedule. Simply be consistent in your own life. If you want you kids to believe in the power of prayer, let them experience you praying over them. If you want them to grow up reading and trusting the Bible, let them see you read and trust the Bible. Did I mention that I have had many, many seasons of abject failure as a parent?
  2. Speak of the things of God openly with your kids. When you see a beautiful sky, point out the glory of His work. When your cat has kittens, speak of how God’s creation is fascinating. When you are on the beach, thank God for His gift to us. When our kids see and hear us speak openly on the things of God, our kids will begin looking for them as well.
  3. Pray with your kids about things other than meals. Yes, prayer before a meal is a great start, but to stop and pray before they get on the bus? That’s the stuff that will stay with them when they have their kids.
  4. Use Right Now Media, which is free to you, if you are a part of our Sugar Hill Church family. There are dozens and dozens of kids media tools to help you deliver exceptional content to your family. Need help getting that set up? Just email Bobby@SugarHillChurch.com and he will get you going. This is a great resource.
  5. If your family does have the capacity and ability to actually have a set time, in a season where that works for you, good for you! If so, use the stories of Jesus found in the Gospels. If I could do one thing differently, and only one thing with my kids when they were younger? I would have stayed in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) far more than I did. Let the stories of Jesus and His teachings saturate your kids and your family to their bones. You’ll be so glad that you did.

The most important thing to remember? Stay at it. Keep the things and ways of the Divine in front of your children,  in every possible way, especially through you!

–AChuck

More Lessons from Yesterday (Wednesday)

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Lessons from Yesterday Part 2 by ACHUCKAllen

Okay, part two. I think y’all like it when I have more creative titles, but I’m pooped and the creativity is running a bit low tonight – SORRY!

Wednesday was an amazing morning delivering some 300 gifts to children through 11 different public schools, then a meeting preparing to launch a powerhouse mission to single moms in our community next year. I know what you’re thinking, “dang, Chuck, I wish my day was that cool.” Will it kinda was!

Many of the folks that read this blog contributed to providing Christmas for these kids. It wasn’t just a little something. It was brand new clothes their size, shoes their size, toys they picked out and basic necessities. Many of these same children leave school each week with bookbags full of food that you provide and over Christmas continue to receive help. So, THANK YOU!

What I learned on Wednesday was this:

  • You never regret giving. EVER! Giving is woven into our DNA from our Creator. The entire purpose of this season is to GIVE!
  • You never stop searching for additional ways to help people. I don’t care if they are Donkeys or Elephants, White or Black, Hispanic or Asian, Rich or Poor, Straight or Gay — Never stop searching for another way to share the Christ of Christmas. He came and said that He had come to seek and to save what was lost. Why in the world would we think our role should be any different?
  • Prioritize well. My sweetheart had her second outpatient surgery to remove a bit of Melanoma after lunch. I left the office and the church to be with her. It wasn’t that she needed me. Jenny is the strongest woman I’ve ever met. It was more a sense that I know she is even more valuable to me than all the ministry opportunities in this world combined. To stop for a few hours in this crazy busy season to be with her – I MEAN JUST BE THERE – was more important than all the gifts, all the money that needs to be raised and any one of the thirty-two crisis emails, calls or messages I received today.

This crazy world can redirect your priorities if you let it. Here is a gentle reminder”

  • If our greatest need was for information, God would have sent an educator.
  • If our greatest need was for technology, God would have sent a nerd.
  • If our greatest need was for pleasure, God would have sent an entertainer.
  • If our greatest need was for money, God would have sent an economist.
  • If our greatest need was stuff, God would have sent a marketer.
  • If our greatest need was legislation, God would have never sent this Congress.

But since our greatest need is forgiveness…God sent a Savior…a Redeemer.
Come let us adore Him…Christ the Lord.

–AChuck

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