MORE MEANDERING THOUGHTS FROM 35,000 FEET
Okay, so I went off the map a bit last week with my musings from the transatlantic flight experiences and thought I might try to redeem myself from the return series of flights.
Ahhh, who am I kidding, there is no returning from my escipades at 35,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean. But here we go…
Right out of the gate, I simply want to state that my experience with British Airways was much better than my experience with American. That said, why can’t we seem to get the speaker systems at the gates to the level that anybody knows what the gate agent is actually saying? And yes, I still do not know why every gate agent is grumpy. Just in an effort to be a kinder, gentler Chuck, maybe we are still the problem. No, really.
Can we not come up with some sort of world order when it comes to security? In one airport the shoes come off and the next airport you simply seem to walk on the plane. About the time that I realize who’s who, and who’s on first, I am the guy that has to take his belt off and get frisked. Is this a conspiracy against big guys? One last parting thought on TSA, and I use that in a global sense of the tasking…Is the first question on the application, “do you have a clue?” If answered “yes,” you are kicked out without an interview.
I’m all for the airlines making money. We want our planes safe and secure. The best way to insure that is for them to make money. But come on! Can we not add an extra square foot or two to the restroom? Whilst thinking about the restroom that I just experienced, why is there always that one person that must wait until the plane is headed for takeoff or headed to the gate that MUST go right then? I’m talking a 9 hour international flight here. You had time to think about this! But it’s cool, we will wait for you. It’s not like there is someone waiting to meet us at the jetway.
By in large the food in American airports is far better than international airports, but after making a miraculous appearance in the British Air Lounge in London’s Heathrow, waiting out another flight delay, I have found the pearly gates! Those folks know how to wait!
But back to restrooms, have you ever gotten off of a flight and had to get to a restroom, only to discover that it is closed for cleaning? Knowing that you really don’t need to be arrested by using the ladies room, and recognizing that there are already three guys waiting for the “family restroom,” you just go on in and tell the kind older woman that doesn’t speak english, that it’s okay. Well, I heard that it happened.
I love the looks that the gracious and sweet people in Business Class as you make your way back to cattle class. Nothing is quite as humbling as taking the walk of shame to the rear of the plane. It’s the one place where the class system of Henry the 8th still reigns. You know the look…you poor sucker. You are gonna be so miserable by the end of this flight, and I will have had a five-star dinner, a good night’s sleep and nobody hacking all over me…but have a great flight!
Do they clean these flying tubes of aluminum with anything stronger than water? I feel like I’m in a flying petri dish on the fast track to the CDC.
Really, stop tooting! I’m not kidding! Stop it!
I cannot wait to travel again, from my chair to the fridge and back for a college football game this fall. GO DAWGS!
I’ll bet you have had some awesome summer travel experiences that you’d like to get off of your chest, I mean, to share with me.
Go in Peace…But Go First Class,
PS: I get a middle seat on the next flight! Well how bout that?
PSS: And the dude in the window seat is probably 6’2/320. Bless the Lord!