I’ll bet that you have had your feelings wounded at some point in your life.
I have. I know guys aren’t supposed to admit such trivial matters, but after a few decades of ministry, I’ve learned that having feelings, ego, or pride hurt is more brutal on men than women. I think the short answer on much of that is that nobody likes it when our pride, ego or feelings get stomped upon.
So what should we do when that happens? Thanks for asking. Before you enter into the next paragraph, please know that I have an earned doctorate in wounded feelings. I am an expert in wounding feelings and an exceptionally gifted receiver of said feelings.
- FIRST – Don’t pile on. When somebody has wounded you with truth or assumption, don’t take the bait. Satan will be whispering sweet somethings in your ear that will cause doubt, additional anxiety and fear, crippling your ability to manage your way through this mess. Just because somebody thinks less of you, doesn’t always make how they said it, or that they said it right. Hunker down and exam your soul. Seek deep within your bone, blood and marrow. Ask the Divine to reveal any truth in the wound, then set your course for correction and MOVE ON!
- SECOND – Let your heart grow softer and your skin grow thicker. Every attack on you and your character will, most likely either have some truth attached to it, or it has come from a place of insecurity, anger, fear, or ignorance. Let your heart grow soft, allowing you to discover wisdom, patience and awareness. And let your skin grow lizard thick, allowing you to move past the hurt quickly. When we are wounded, we rarely act or react in a way that shows the best of us.
- THIRD – Don’t fire back! But, Chuck! You can’t imagine what they said about me! Sure I can. I’m a pastor for goodness sake. I get critiqued on something I said, wore, thought, or laughed at every single week. I’ve had folks walk right up to me and share the blessing that I’m fat, as if I wasn’t aware of that new product they want me to sell for them that can fix even fat people like me. Well! Bless the Lord! I had a lady tell me once, that the way I combed my hair was such a distraction that she couldn’t even pay attention to the sermon. Well How bout that? As badly as you want to fire back — DON’T DO IT! — Let the Lord sort all of that foolishness out. Here’s a not so spiritual lesson that I learned years ago. Believe it or not, it has found it’s way into many counseling sessions. Ready for it? Here you go: If you let a monkey climb far enough up a flagpole, they will inevitably show the world their hind parts. So let them climb, but don’t join them.
How bout that? I feel like i just dropped a bit of wisdom on you folks. Now I need to read this article as if you wrote it to me!