People Who Age with Vitality Have These Things in Common
Aging isn’t optional—it’s inevitable. The whole debate about being “anti-aging” or “pro-aging” completely misses what matters most. We all age. But how do we do so gracefully and beautifully?
No matter how many serums we apply or procedures we undergo, age will find us, and death will come. This reality was as complicated for me to accept as it might be for you, until I discovered what truly matters: vitality and purpose. Aging has become a challenge and joy simultaneously.
Vitality is that electric current of engagement, gratitude, and aliveness. It’s the sacred intersection of pleasure, purpose, and meaning. It is essential to survive the creaks and aches that come with bags under my eyes and jowls that won’t go away!
In Psalm 92:14, we find this promise: “They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.” The Hebrew writers understood something profound here—age isn’t about diminishment but continued fruitfulness and vitality.
Without joy-filled, expansive pleasure, our lives become deserts. Without purpose and contribution, we drift aimlessly. Without a framework of meaning, we stumble into emptiness and despair. I hear of people who have strived for decades in the ultimate hopes of retirement, only to stop living and die. I often think it is a result of losing purpose and, as a result, losing vitality. Purpose and pleasure are linked fascinatingly. When we enjoy our WHY, we enjoy our WHAT. And when we enjoy our WHAT, it is much easier to enjoy our WHO.
When we’re filled with pleasure and joy, when we are fulfilled through contribution and immersed in meaning, we experience what researchers like Dr. George Vaillant from the Harvard Study of Adult Development call “generativity“—a state of thriving that transcends chronological age.
I have an 88-year-old friend named Merle. Merle’s wife is in hospice care. He lives alone, but enjoys breakfast and dinner with his daughter’s family daily. Merle and Sue have been married for 68 years! He recently shared his story with me – from the beginning – and I have been captivated by his passion for her, his family, and his walk with God ever since. I just told my friend, Bobby, “I want to grow old, like Merle.” You see, Merle never lost his WHY and loves his WHO unconditionally. That, friends, is grace in action and aging.
Our bodies, skin, and physical appearance are merely the vessels our spirits inhabit. Caring for this vessel matters—it’s part of honoring what Ecclesiastes 12 calls “your Creator in the days of your youth.” Some have resources for supplements, exercise regimens, and cosmetic enhancements. I’ve met many who access these without losing sight of growing older as a spiritual journey. For me, it’s mostly about mindset and contentment.
But here’s what’s fascinating: I’ve known people with seemingly perfect exteriors who receive endless compliments on their youthful appearance but privately confess feeling hollow, irrelevant, and unfulfilled. Their obsession with outward appearance created what First Timothy calls “the appearance of godliness while denying its power”—a beautiful shell hiding an emptiness within.
What if, instead of commenting on how young someone looks, we asked: How alive are they? True aliveness radiates through the eyes and expresses itself in vulnerability. It erupts in laughter, flows in tears, and engages fully regardless of approval ratings.
The most alive people I know:
• Create impact and live their values with integrity • Remain perpetual students, hungry for wisdom • Practice radical generosity and openness • Experience emotions with unfiltered intensity • Nurture a profound connection to the divine • Choose authenticity over popularity – every single day. In short, they instigate aliveness. This kind of aliveness—this soul fitness—has nothing to do with appearing younger. It’s cultivated through commitment to what Jesus described in John 10:10 as “life to the full.”
Research from Blue Zones shows that people who live longest and healthiest share common traits: strong social connections, a sense of purpose, and spiritual practices. These aren’t about looking young—they’re about being fully alive.
Remember, we’re here for just a cosmic blink. As Psalm 90:12 puts it: “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” This is the call to soul fitness. We’re preparing not for Instagram perfection but for a culmination conversation as we approach our final chapter.
Talking about death this way isn’t morbid—it’s liberating. Imagine meditating each morning on this possibly being your last day and allowing that awareness to propel you toward loving more deeply and living more fully.
We can free ourselves from culture’s oppressive narratives about aging. Instead, we can see life’s trajectory—from youth’s innocence to adulthood’s ambition to elderhood’s wisdom—as a magnificent symphony in which each movement completes and enhances the whole.
When Solomon wrote in Proverbs 16:31 that “gray hair is a crown of splendor,” he wasn’t being sentimental. He understood that growing older isn’t a mistake or failure—it’s an invitation to become more authentically, radiantly alive.
By shifting our focus from anti-aging to pro-vitality, we create a new vision for younger generations. We show them that growth never ends, that pleasure and purpose remain possible until our final breath, and that we paradoxically find our most whole life in embracing our mortality.
Let’s grow old, graciously, full of vitality, aches, pains, wrinkles, and joy!
Go in Peace, Chuck
