Achuckallen

Instigating Better

AChuck's Top 10

Is it Really Okay to Not be Okay?

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AChuckAllen.com

Mental health seems to be all the rage these days. Athletes, artists, actors, and stars are opening up with statements like, “it’s okay not to be okay.”

But for us mere mortals, is it really okay to not be okay?

I’m not attempting to be snarky in my question. I’m suggesting that for the bulk of our human landscape, it’s still very much not okay to be not okay.

While I want to believe that I am wrong, ask yourself how safe you feel about divulging to your boss or buddies that you are struggling with depression, self-harm, anxiety, or any number of mental or emotional health issues?

I took a few days off over Labor Day weekend and, upon returning, found myself overwhelmed at the number of needs, challenges, calls, and expectations. Just writing that makes my skin crawl. Not because of the requirements, challenges, rings, or expectations, but because of the folks that will be placing varying degrees of guilt, shame, or assumptive qualifications upon me.

You may not be that person with those guilt-ridden thoughts, but we all know that they are there.

Maybe you wrestle with some of the same struggles that I do. Perhaps you feel like there is nowhere to turn. If so, or if you know someone struggling, here are three next steps that can help…I promise.

1. Take three minutes right now and pray. That’s right, pray. Not with your “fake holy voice.” Just ask God to calm your soul, settle your spirit, still your mind, and give you truth-filled wisdom.

2. Send a text to a trusted friend, and ask them to have coffee because you need someone to chat with. If you do not have that person in your life right now, do these two things: 1) Go back to number one and add to your prayer that the Divine would place that person in your life. And 2) Reach out to a counselor or therapist. I know that can be challenging. That’s why my friend Julie Homrich and I have built a place that you can seek and find help and privately. Just go to ClearPath Counseling and invest less than ten minutes in completing your free assessment.

I’m not sure why I struggle with these things. I wish that I didn’t. If you are one of the 4,500 plus’s church members of the church that I pastor, you might be thinking (as I’ve been told), “we don’t want to know about our pastor’s struggles.

I am, however, now okay with admitting that, at times, I am certainly not okay. I’ve learned the truly amazing power of prayer. I’ve learned how little the Divine cares about the “how-to” of prayer. I’ve learned and experienced how simple yet significant the act of “chatting” with my Creator. I have also been blessed with a couple of dear friends, an unbelievably gracious wife, and the kindness of an exceptional therapist.

You might not be okay, not being okay. But you should know that I know how much your Creator truly, deeply, earnestly loves you and wants to chat with you, especially when you are not okay. That’s how I know firsthand about His love. In my most not okay moments, He’s listened to my deepest “not okayness.”

It might not feel safe for you to share your own “not okayness” with someone in your circle right now, but open your head and heart to a conversation with God. You probably still need a counselor or therapist, but He’s the best. The very best at listening to our lack of okayness.

May peace be yours this day.

May joy become your normal.

May hope reign on the throne of your heart.

May tomorrow be better than okay.

Peace, Chuck

ClearPathCounseling.org

Reacting to Global Crises

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August 31, 2021

Let’s face it, this world is in a mess. Afghanistan, Southern Border, COVID-19, Hurricane Ida, Western Fires. Oh, my stars!

The world has gone mad. And in the middle of all the chaos, we humans have grown more angry, anxious, and intemperate. Don’t hear me say that I’m not joining you. I am most definitely angrier, more anxious, and certainly more intemperate these days.

If you wear a mask, you’re humiliated. If you don’t wear a mask, you are insensitive. If you vaccinate, you love your neighbor, if you don’t, you are selfish. If you voted red, you hate gay people and black people. If you vote blue, you don’t love America.

In a world that is in desperate need of solutions, we have become a nation of whiners and finger pointers! Never before, have we been so divided, on so many different issues.

I find that people who claim to be Christians are often at the center of the fight. I often see people that have been forgiven and redeemed by the sacrificial death of Jesus, the Christ pointing the same fingers, screaming the same diatribe, and succumbing to the ridiculous rhetoric of the right, left, up, or down leaning of the crowd of choice.

Friends, it doesn’t have to be so. Much of the angst and anger we experience and share is rooted in fear. Fear that people don’t agree with us. Fear that the world has lost its way. Fear that things will never be better. Fear that we will never be enough or amount to anything. Some of us are experiencing fear in such a way that we are fire hydrants of anxiety and hate, spewing out our anger, anxiety, and fear on all who walk in front of us.

There is a better way! But it requires us all to answer a question. What do you think of, when you think about God?

AW Tozer once stated,
“What comes into our minds when we think about God
is the most important thing about us.”

I believe that is absolutely true. It also makes the case for the fact that there is a better way! But you have to settle on what you believe about God. It’s that simple.

Once again, it is of the utmost importance!

If you do not believe that God created you with a spirit of power, love, and sound mind, then you will continue to believe that you were created with a spirit of fear and timidity.

Paul, author of a large part of the Bible’s New Testament wrote to his understudy, Timothy, in 2 Timothy 1:7 that “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and self-discipline.

I get it. You might be saying, Chuck, I do not need some preacher lobbing a bible verse hand grenade at me. Here is the good news. The same God that created you and wired you into the unique human that you are today, is the same God the created you with the ability to change the way you think and renew your mind!

You can literally change the way you think because you have been given the spirit of power, not fear. You’ve been given the spirit of love, not hate. And you’ve been given the spirit of a sound mind and self-discipline, not chaos. All of that is evidence that you can quite literally change the way you think about the way you think!

My friend, Julie Homrich is a psychotherapist, and one of the brightest people that I’ve ever met. She calls thinking about we think, metacognition. I call it the 2-step of change. Stop and face reality, then change the way you think about it. Get it? Stop and think! Take all the problems in the world and just stop and think about how you see them and how you are reacting to them.

  1. Can you change the outcomes of any of them today? If not, then pray for them. If yes, what 2 things will you do today to help resolve the problem?
  2. Does your opinion on the matter help discover a solution to the problem? If yes, then by all means, share! If no, then take that anxiety and pressure of your plate.
  3. Are you holding on to the news, the worst case scenarios, or the what-ifs? then write those down and leave them on your nightstand. Before you call it a day, just offer up this simple prayer to the Creator. God, I do not understand all that is happening, but I want to be a part of solving, not complaining. Give me wisdom and protect the people in the line of this problem with your care and your love. Amen. Then leave it all with Him.

You do not have to live in doubt, fear, or timidity. But you also do not have to live in anxiety, stress, and anger. Especially if you cannot directly own that solution or problem yourself!

Because you were not given fear and timidity by your Creator. Then where did it come from?

Satan would love to convince you of your fears and insecurities. He would love to keep you locked up in emotional knots over crises found across the world.

But God has given you POWER, LOVE, and SELF-DISCIPLINE! Don’t fall for the bait! You can live in peace, even through all of the storms we face in this life. It’s a matter of what you think about, when you think about God.

Peace, Chuck

A Few Thoughts on Critique

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CHUCK ALLEN JUNE 8, 2021

I live a pretty public life. I speak in front of thousands of people weekly and offer my thoughts on multiple topics via a coupe of podcasts and this BLOG. I finish every meeting that I lead (other than a worship service) by allowing the participants to ask me anything about anything. I’d say that I am pretty open and certainly occasionally too transparent.

That being said, I’ve received and received my fair share of critique. Some positive, some helpful. I’ve received some hurtful comments and some that were deeply personal. I’ve had folks offer their opinions in agreement with my thoughts and plenty of folks that share their displeasure with those same thoughts. Honestly, I’ve learned that if you speak up, often write, present your opinions publicly, someone will critique you. And, you should expect to be. But don’t expect it always to be fair. Do not expect it to all be helpful. It simply is a reality.

Over the past few years, I’ve grown more vocal with my thoughts on things that matter to me. Things like public education, politics, race relations, immigration, and faith. I think I’ve grown more concerned and more vocal about all the things you are encouraged not to discuss at the Thanksgiving table.

Let me first offer some advice to those that are being or have been critiqued. Develop a thicker skin while simultaneously growing a softer heart. I promise you that that process will serve you well. It has me. But it is not very easy to do. Thicker skin allows you to receive challenging instruction, correction, and even personal attacks. A soft heart will enable you to see the person as a person, not a country to occupy. A softer heart allows for you to hear, feel and experience their concern. That alone is 3/4 of the battle. After that, I offer this simple piece of well-learned advice.

This requires us to get closer to the person or the problem. It involves two steps that open up to a far better experience.

Step One: Always take the high road! You will never regret taking the road less traveled…the high road. This means that we offer an assumption of personal humility. To not be guilty of terminal certainty. The high road is an effort not to fight to prove you are right but rather listen and discuss with the intent to make things right. I am in no way suggesting that it always works, but I can say that it always leaves me far more contented than engaging in a fight.

Step Two: Assume the lowest possible position. Again, not easy to do. Assuming the lowest possible position is when I do not place myself as an authoritarian that is over the person in the conversation, but rather as their equal or even be so bold as to take on the role of a servant. I know that sounds weak, but Jesus taught us that if we want to be great, that we must become a servant – OUCH! Assuming the lowest position will disarm the opposing angst or anger. It allows for you actually to listen, and as needed, fix the problem rather than fixing blame. I promise you that this is a worthwhile effort!

Finally, we live in a world that has gone so radically toward vengeance, justice, anger, and blame that when we allow our skin to thicken, our heart to soften, take the high road and assume the lowest position, we become part of the solutions needed. I refuse to become part of the whiners, grippers and finger pointers when I can actually be part of the solution. How about you?

Let’s face it; we are all surprised, maybe even shocked, when people listen to us. We are completely dumbfounded when real people try to understand with empathy. And when people go out of their way to help resolve or better the situation, it is memorable. I like that term, memorable. Memorable is when I experience an event that is typically a bad experience and it became a healthy, helpful experience. When that happens, it’s memorable and memorable events are shared.

Anybody can be a know it all jerk. Anybody can also look for a reason to prove they are right. Anybody can be defensive and nasty. Our society even celebrates some of that bad acting. But why be anybody when you can be memorable?

Let us strive to be memorable…in a great way. Oh, did I mention that Jesus said that we had to become a servant if we were to be great?

Peace, Chuck

Four Thoughts on MASKS

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May 13, 2021

I know, what could possibly be left unsaid about wearing a mask? Well, he are four thoughts for you to ponder over, as we still hear the battle from all sides.

1. Like almost anything in America, we found a way to politicize a face covering. Just spelling that phrase annoys me. I’m pretty sure that anybody can find research to support their personal preference. To argue this point seems pointless. To predetermine someone’s value, worth or intelligence based on if they are wearing a mask is just wrong. Especially in my state where you most likely have been vaccinated if you want to be.

2. Consider where people live. I live in the great state of Georgia. In this state, the governor and legislative leaders have declared that we are “100% open.” As a result, unless the establishment you wish to enter requires you to mask up, be an adult and choose wisely. If you’ve been vaccinated, encourage others to do the same. But please, don’t be a militant jerk about it.

3. According to every data source, just this week, you should not wear a mask outside. But hear me – if you want to wear a mask outside or alone in your car, knock yourself out. But if so, please do not throw shade at someone that isn’t wearing a mask.

4. At the risk of sounding like an anti-masker, it really feels like much of our mask wearing has been driven by optics more than science. In the early days of the pandemic, we were fearful of surfaces. It took an entire year for people to calm down from that scare. Much of the same has been proven true about masks. But honestly, much of that science is new data collected over the past fourteen months. I have been onboard with masks, but can we not allow people to make their own health choices in May, 2021? I read earlier today that even Governor Newsome, in California is dropping masks in June. Wearing masks to make a point or for the optics to prove you are looking more vigilant than others seems a bit silly.

At the end of the pandemic day, we know so much more than we did in March 2020. We must address at least five more pressing issues. 1) Rapidly Increasing Inflation. 2) The Humanitarian Crises on Our Southern Border. 3) The Tension and Attacks in Israel. America must find its backbone again in support of Israel. 4) Reopening America’s Largest and Most Critical Cities and Economic Centers. 5) Rebuild and Restore America’s Educational Systems. Many of our best and brightest citizens chose to be educators . Let’s give them a chance to teach our children skills and lessons that will allow them the opportunity to better the world, not civic lessons established on personal preference.

Why yes, I did “mask that covert message” inside an article on wearing masks. Proving once again that masks mask the more significant issues.

Peace, Chuck

The Church and Mental Health

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by AChuckAllen 04.20.2021

Like many of my readers, I grew up in an era with zero tolerance for mental illness. We threw terms around that were harmful, hurtful, and disrespectful. We didn’t do that out of some weird bias or odd bigotry, but out of pure ignorance. Today, we all have a better understanding of the significance of our mental and emotional health. But have we stepped into the arena and determined to be a part of the solution instead of saying the usual “somebody ought to do something” line? As for me, I have experienced the oddities of the pandemic, just like you have.

Now is the time to step onto the floor of the arena and determine to
make a difference, and it just might start with you!

First, let’s accept the fact that we all have some sort of anxiety, restlessness, or stress in our life. I haven’t met anyone in the past year that has been able to say that they are stress or worry-free, at least honestly. The power of our brains is astonishing. Our brains are constantly attempting to course-correct our lives, but with enough stressors and insecurities, it can send all of the wrong signals to our bodies.

Did you know that when your brain’s pre-frontal cortex exposes your amygdala, that amygdala kicks into high gear with fear that sends stress hormones coursing through your body? That starts a reaction that creates digestive challenges, rapid heart rates, muscular tingles, and inflammation. None of that sounds good. But here is the good news. You can do something about it! My friend, Julie Homrich, LPC, has been coaching me on the brain and how mental health and spiritual health go hand in hand. She is a really bright human, and I’m continually grateful for our friendship and what she is teaching me. When I came to grips with the fact that we could literally accomplish what Paul wrote in the Bible book of Romans, when he said that we “Should not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our mind, so that we might know the perfect will of God,” I got so captivated that I began an in-depth study to help me understand the correlation with a passage of scripture written some 2,000 years ago and the modern brain.

Romans 12:2 NLT
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

In short, I came to this conclusion: We Need Help!

To keep from remaining in fear, anxiety, and an over-stressed state of mind, we need to know how to be transformed through the renewing of our mind. Maybe you are like me. Maybe you don’t have a severe mental illness, but you are stressed out, maxed out, and occasionally anxiety-riddled. If so, even mildly so, here is a three-step approach that has been scientifically proven to assist you.

1. STOP AND SUSPEND THE PRESENT NARRATIVE. Science has proven that it can take as long as 20 minutes to metabolize the stress hormones sent to our bodies from that fear-mongering amygdala. Stop and suspend your assumptions on the motives, actions, and predetermined conclusions of the present narrative that has your stressors on high alert. Stopping long enough to evaluate before acting is an essential part of coping well and retaining healthy relationships. Stop and allow your mind to ask three questions. 1) What if I didn’t understand the narrative as it was intended? 2) What if the person sharing or group sharing the narrative is in a difficult season or just a terrible day? And 3) What if I am stressed because I am part of the narrative’s problem, and my brain is firing our guilt signals. Suspend the answer and/or action long enough for the stress hormones to clear from your body.

2. ENGAGE IN DOING GOOD. Multiple studies, including a study from Stanford University, have proven that when we take action to help or serve someone else, we are fueling our brain and our soul with dopamine that instantaneously improves our mental and emotional health. If you lead a business, the new economy screams at you that “doing good is good for business.” The new understanding of our brain screams at us doing good is good for us! I know it doesn’t seem like something beneficial to mental health, but both God and science assure us that it is indeed perfect for us!

3. START YOUR DAY WITH PRAYER MEDITATION. I know I just lost half of you, but this is the one thing I would plead with you to do. It’s so simple, and it’s been proven to strengthen our mental and emotional health for centuries. Somehow, in the American culture, we determined we didn’t need that weird meditation stuff. But prayerful meditation isn’t some weird journey with incense and mantras. It is simply quietude, plus solitude, plus mindfulness = peace. I start each day with one question. What am I grateful for, and write it down. I then enjoy about 6 minutes of prayerful meditation through a great, free app, “SOULSPACE.” It is so simple. I listen and pray in a quiet space, and it gets me centered on God’s design for my day and gives me an attitude of gratitude, confidence, and peace. Once again, like serving others, meditation has been scientifically proven to strengthen our brains to transform us into healthy people. How great is that? I am living proof that six minutes each day can radically transform your mind, heart, and soul for good. If you knew me twenty years ago, or more, you might be thinking, “who is this, and what happened to Chuck?” The answer? I’m here, and I’m in the best mental, emotional and spiritual health of my life!

Here is the key. These are simple solutions to a complex challenge. But these three simple steps have proven to make me a far better husband, father, grandfather, pastor, leader, and follower of Jesus. America is a mess, people. We might start with our own mental, emotional, and spiritual health before grumbling more about everyone else’s part of the problem.

I’m also committed to the firm belief that the church desperately needs to tackle mental and emotional health. It is one of the great American crises of the day. We, the church, have the opportunity to stop lobbing bible verse hand grenades at people in crises and offer real, tangible, God-honoring solutions. I’m in no way suggesting that scripture isn’t tangible. I am strongly stating that scripture and science are a hand in glove experience. Mental health is a practical part of Christian discipleship. As we learn to surrender our assumptions and egos to the will of God, we discover contentment. When we are contented, we can, as Paul stated, “do all things through Christ Jesus.” But surrender and contentment require a healthy state of mind and emotion.

It’s like a wheel that keeps rolling. Strive for mental and emotional health. Seek peace in that journey. Keep it sustainable, not just based on feelings. Surrender our lives and discover contented gratitude and boom! There it is, PEACE! That sounds exactly like what Jesus would invest in should He have chosen this generation to walk on the face of the planet. Oh, wait! That’s exactly what He did, as He walked across Israel some two-thousand years ago. Jesus cares about our mental and emotional health – Be more like Jesus!

Go in Peace,
Chuck

Forget New Normal – It’s a New Currency

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A NEW CURRENCY by AChuckAllen

All I hear is talk about the “new normal.” Does anybody know what that means? Seriously, if Anthony Fauci’s version of new normal is accurate, he’s the next President of the United States, and we will all be wearing masks well into 2030. I don’t know about you, but the heck with a new normal. I don’t want the old normal, and I’ll pass on what “they say” is the latest version of normal.

I stumbled on something that I thought was life-altering, earth-shaking news during the pandemic and all of the bluster surrounding it. I found a new currency and investment strategy that has paid off in a HUGE way. Before I launch out in this new and better way to a far better life than “normal, ” let me stop and say that despite the lives that we have lost and the pain inflicted by this virus, there has been some good that came out of it as well.

If you lost someone in this mess, I am so sorry. I know dear friends that are in Heaven today as a direct result of this terrible virus. I’ve had it, and it was a big deal. I had a few days that I thought I would be intubated and wondered if that trip to the hospital would be one of “those stories.” I truly underestimated COVID-19. I trust that we are headedb out of “the long dark winter.”

Last year, I began seeking every possible way that Sugar Hill Church could serve people in need. Everything in me wanted to hunker down, care for me and mine, and let everybody manage independently. I mean, that’s what selfish, self-centered people like me do. But I couldn’t get past the firm belief that the Divine was calling me to my burning bush moment. Sitting in my Chevy Colorado, enjoying a moment of solitude, I was so moved by God’s presence that I was tear-filled and awed. Why would the Creator and Sustainer of the universe give a hoot about me and what I thought about COVID-19, the pandemic, the economy, and families in need? I don’t have a huge platform, a huge church, a vast audience. I’m just Chuck.

But I know that I know God was prompting me. I mean, I know it! When God brought Moses up to the Mountain, He said, “Come up to me on the mountain and STAY HERE, and I will give you the tablets of stone…” Did you see it? God Himself said to Moses, don’t just show up, show up and be fully, completely present! Stay Here! It’s like when Jenny says to me, “If you are listening to me, I need full-faced attention.” That’s my reminder to stop the impossibility of multi-tasking and give her my full attention.

The new currency in America today isn’t showing up. That’s part of it, but anybody can show up. It’s “BEING THERE” or “STAYING THERE.”

Years ago, I had the opportunity to attend a small gathering in a tiny theatre in New York City. When I say tiny, I’m talking—about thirty seats. I was attending a marketing workshop lead by Seth Godin. Seth is one of the brightest people on the planet and a marketing genius. I was the only non-profit faith leader out of the twenty-two people that paid a considerable amount of money to hear Seth dismantle and rebuild each of their marketing plans. When it came to my turn, Seth, being a practicing Jew, said, “I don’t even know where to start with you, but let’s try.” He asked a series of poignant questions and then hit the nail with my head. He asked this question. “What would be unique in your space, in your community?” Bam! That’s the new and more significant currency. What is rare and unique in America today?

Here are FOUR unique and rare commodities that are
creating a healthy new currency and economy of scale:

Directly Serving Others. If people are hungry, feed them. If they need shelter, house them. If they need clothing, clothe them. I’ve discovered that people remember and appreciate your assistance more than any other time in my 61 years of life. Sugar Hill Church is still feeding more than 600 families each week and tutoring more than 200 children each week. The amount of support to assist families directly affected by COVID-19 has reached far more than $750,000, JUST LAST YEAR.

Directly Addressing Mental and Emotional Health. I doubt if there has ever been a time that so many Americans have carried so much anxiety or stress in their daily lives. The expectations that we place on ourselves and the expectations that we inherit are simply overwhelming. Add to that the guilt we heap on ourselves and the unmet expectations we place our souls, and you have a recipe for a far greater pandemic than COVID-19. We are working hard to build a Healthy Holistic Home Service that will assess and professionally treat men, women, couples, children, and families with real, tangible help for emotional and mental health. That is a huge undertaking, but we must recognize that we all can serve with help in the currency of BEING THERE.

Directly Offering Words of Affirmation and Encouragement. Do you know what is unique and rare in America today? KINDNESS! We have become a culture of critics. We see something that has zero impact on us but criticize it and post negatively about it non-stop! We find what is wrong with anybody and everybody that is leading. The end goal? To catch them doing something wrong. No wonder our best and brightest leaders run away from serving our land. I know firsthand how cruel people can be. I’ve heard more than my share, and most often, it comes from people that claim to be Christians. No wonder folks say, “church isn’t for me.” I have determined to be rare and unique. I want our church to be full of people that love God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. But I want them to be normal. Normal as in not self-righteous know-it-alls, but kind, gracious people that offer that rare currency of affirmation and encouragement.

Directly Listening, Not Thinking About What I am About to Say While Pretending to Listen. That’s a mouthful. Do you know how rare it is to find people that listen? Rare and unique enough that we pay billions of dollars to therapists to listen to us! I’m a believer in counseling and therapy, but often I think we need someone that gives a hoot and will listen to us.

These four things are rare and unique. Seth Godin would be proud of the lesson I learned that day in New York. Now, the question is, will my ego sustain the neglect that is required to act on these four currencies? If so, I do not doubt that the Divine will bless them hugely. To quote a brilliant man, David Orr, “The planet does not need more successful people. But it does need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, and storytellers. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane.”

Join me in this new and better currency of service and kindness. I’m discovering that these investments’ net gain is greater than any other commodity on the planet.

Go in Peace, Chuck