Week 34 of 2023 is almost in the books. I had a fabulously busy week of meetings, speaking, and serving. I love what I do, and I’m honored to serve the folks I serve with. I trust you’ve had a great week and a fun weekend ahead! Thank you for joining me each week for the 4forFRIDAY.
Discipleship
4forFRIDAY with Chuck Allen
Week 32 of 2023 is almost in the books. I have a great week of learning and serving. I love what I get to do, and I’m honored to serve the folks that i serve with. I trust that you’ve had a great week and a fun weekend ahead! Thank you for joining me each week for the 4forFRIDAY.
This Week’s 4forFRIDAY
A great new album from Lauren Daigle: THANK GOD I DO
The best novel that I’ve ever read, and I’ve read some great books: THE. COVENANT OF WATER
A very cool gadget for family time around the table: GRATICUBE
A really interesting article from Architectural Digest: The world’S MOST BEAUTIFUL McDONALD’S
A Quote from Russell Moore: “Churches must stop the frantic rhetoric and desperate lack of confidence that seek to hold on to the Bible Belt of the past. Instead, those worthy of the word evangelical should nurture the joyous and tranquil fullness of faith that prays for something new, rooted in something very old—namely a commitment to personal faith and to the authority of the Bible.”
Go in Peace, Chuck
The Superpower Within Us All
It seems as though this world is mesmerized by superheroes and superpowers. Many blockbuster movies over the best decades have included numerous superhero films. I like them like we all do, but what if you could select a superpower that could change your life and the world around you? It’s one of my favorite questions at a dinner party. If you could pick a superpower, what would it be? Most folks select strength, flight, being invisible, or even speed.
Much too late in life, I’ve discovered that we each have a superpower
that lies dormant in many lives. FORGIVENESS.
In our revenge and anger-filled culture, forgiveness is often portrayed as weakness or meekness as weakness. As a result, we are often offended – far too often – and carry around the ball and chain of unforgiveness. It is a heavy weight to walk through life with. It is intended to be directed toward the one who has offended, but it eats away at our souls like a rapidly growing tumor that sucks the life out of us. I know it first hand. I have carried that ball and chain through many years. I’ve missed the blessed life and the joy of the journey by simply not offering forgiveness and moving from a victim of offendability to a free man that lives unoffendably.
The common sense understanding of forgiveness is that we release someone from some claim that they did us wrong. Like forgiving a debt, we relinquish our grievance to another person.
And the way we typically forgive, by saying “I forgive you,” suggests that it’s something you do to or
for the other person. You’re reaching a judgment that calls for benevolence rather than vengeance,
and you relinquish any claim or demand for justice.
But the truth is that forgiveness is primarily for ourselves. It is an act that allows us to let go of the anger, frustration, pain, sadness, bitterness, and grief that we carry around in our hearts, and that is directed at this other person. It isn’t in any possible way a weakness. It is the strongest and most powerful tool in your human arsenal.
We forgive because carrying around anger and resentment is like poison to our souls. You and the other person remain tethered by your feelings – bad feelings that etch weary hieroglyphics on the insides of our hearts. When you forgive, you free yourself and this other person from that emotional strife and baggage. I contend that unforgiveness is at the heart of much of our anxieties, sadness, depression, and emotional distress.
We have so glorified, by way of film, politics, music, and pop culture, the art of revenge that we have forgotten that the strongest, wisest, happiest, most contented people on the planet have activated this superpower of FORGIVENESS.
We should start to think of forgiveness as an authentic superpower. Yes, a superpower to heal yourself and others. To leave a mark of strength and peace on a planet in desperate need of both.
It’s important to say what forgiveness is not: It’s not saying what the person did was right. It’s not saying the person should be allowed to do it again. It’s not saying that you have to forget that it happened. Forgiveness is, ultimately, an act of love for yourself because it’s simply saying that you let go of the anger and despair that occurred.
In that way, forgiveness is also not a way to bypass our feelings. Feeling anger and grief is okay, especially if those feelings are fresh. Feelings and emotions are meant to be experienced fully.
It’s just that we don’t want to live in those places.
We don’t want to live from our wounds. So when you forgive, you are saying that you are a powerful, spiritually minded, and Christlike person who can take responsibility for your emotions; therefore, this event doesn’t have emotional power over your life. It is a refusal to live with a prisoner’s ball and chain attached to your soul.
The true power of forgiveness is that it resets the clock by rewriting the past.
That doesn’t mean the event goes away or didn’t happen. It means you are now creating a new meaning for that event, with a new emotional relationship to what transpired. The pain and interpretation you had for that moment in your life, which is what matters, is what you get to rewrite. As Paul says in Romans, you are renewing your mind and living the Jesus life…the very story of the Gospel.
In Matthew’s gospel story. In chapter 18, we find what Jesus says about this superpower of forgiveness.
“Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” [22] “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! [23] “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. [24] In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.
[25] He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold along with his wife, children, and everything he owned to pay the debt. [26] “But the man fell before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ [27] Then his master felt pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. [28] “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. [29] “His fellow servant fell before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded.
[30] But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and imprisoned until the debt could be paid in full. [31] “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. [32] Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. [33] Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ [34] Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. [35] “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
Dwight Moody once said, “I believe that the sin causing Christians more difficulty than any other is the sin of an unforgiving spirit.” And he said he believed that unforgiveness, more than any other sin, was holding back the power of God in prayer in the hearts and lives of people.
Forgiveness is a problem that we all must learn to deal with sufficiently. Maybe your heart is hanging on to some heartache or hurt that somebody gave you, and you don’t know how to deal with it.
One of God’s greatest gifts to us is forgiveness. Thank God He has forgiven us. Thank God for His grace that forgives us. Now, to forgive means “to release a debt.”
Think of somebody who has wronged you. And, if you are hanging on to an offense in your heart—somebody who’s done you wrong—and you’ve not settled that in your heart, I want to give you some captivating reasons why you ought to forgive that individual right now.
Forgive Because God Has Forgiven Us
We need to give forgiveness to you because Jesus gave forgiveness to me.
If You Don’t Forgive, You Close the God’s Forgiveness
Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount, “If you don’t forgive men their trespasses against you, neither will your Heavenly Father forgive you your trespasses against Him.” As long as you have an unforgiving spirit, you cannot get the forgiveness of God. It’s a dangerous thing not to offer forgiveness.
Not Forgiving Will Destroy You Emotionally
Observational studies, and even some randomized trials, suggest that forgiveness is associated with lower levels of depression, anxiety, and hostility; reduced substance abuse; higher self-esteem; and greater life satisfaction.
A Johns Hopkins study suggests that forgiving people tend to be more satisfied with their lives and to have less depression, anxiety, stress, and anger.
The American Phycological Association states that their research has shown that forgiveness is linked to mental health outcomes such as reduced anxiety, depression, and major psychiatric disorders, as well as fewer physical health symptoms and lower mortality rates.
Come on, people! This is spiritually, emotionally, and physically necessary and greatly beneficial. Then why is this superpower left untapped in so many of our lives? Because we are not a naturally humble species. We require a dose of humility to forgive.
Forgiveness requires thought, intention, and action. Forgiveness, however, starts as an inside job. Stating it matters for nothing without the heart and mind in cooperation with the Spirit of God, creating a new and fresh thought (renewing of the mind) and fresh cleansing of the human heart (a blessed power of God at work in us).
Forgiveness has a few requirements:
Forgive Freely • Forgive Completely • Forgive With Finality
It costs you to forgive. You have to taste a little bit of Jesus’ Cross when you forgive, and the way to do that is to let the Spirit of Jesus be at work in you. He is not in me by nature. By nature, we want revenge. Only with the power of Jesus having free and total control of our life can we earnestly forgive.
Even if the offender doesn’t receive your forgiveness, you get it off your heart. And, even if they don’t say I’m sorry, you can refuse to carry that spirit of bitterness in your heart. You have that power! But only in the strength of Christ. Exercise that and watch how your joy radically increases, your emotional health improves, and your attitude grows more like Christ. It’s a total win!
We are fools when we drag these unforgiving balls and chains with us! There’s no reason for us to live in a prison of bitterness or a prison of resentment. Is there anyone that you’re harboring hate against, or carrying a grudge against? Is there bitterness, anger, or revenge in your heart? If you don’t, you will have an acid eating away your soul and it will destroy you.
Friend, this world is full of revenge mentality, and hate-filled speech. Much of it is grounded in unforgiveness. Can we not recognize that unforgiveness will produce bitterness? And bitterness can be directly traced to the failure to forgive. It makes you caustic, sarcastic, condemning, and nasty. Harassed by the memories of what you can’t forgive, your thoughts become malignant toward others, and your whole view of life becomes distorted.
Of all the things that we relinquish when we choose to be unforgiving, peace is at the top of the list. My life, and your life – this world and its inhabitants – are in desperate need of peace. It starts with a forgiving spirit.
Where should you start, today?
Go in Peace, Chuck
The Thief and Your Theology
How does the thief on the cross fit into your theology? No baptism, no communion, no confirmation, no speaking in tongues, no mission trip, no volunteerism, and no church clothes.
He couldn’t even bend his knees to pray. He didn’t say the sinner’s prayer and among other things, he was a thief. Jesus didn’t take away his pain, heal his body, or correct the scoffers.
He was a thief who walked into heaven at the same hour as Jesus simply by believing. He had nothing more to offer than believing that Jesus was who he said he was.
No spin from a brilliant hipster mega preacher. No ego or arrogance. No shiny lights, skinny jeans, or crafty words. No social media posts, stories, reels, or tweets. No haze machine, donuts, or coffee at the entrance. Just an unclothed dying man on a cross unable to even fold his hands to pray.
For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son so that whosoever believed in him would not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16
I read those words earlier this week, and they shook me. I mean, they really shook me to my core.
In our effort to grow numbers, hype, and platforms, American Christians have substituted the simplicity of Jesus being crucified, buried, and risen to give us life with a shallow, entertainment-driven version of THE GOSPEL.
I am part of the problem! When I make the church the center of me, the reason we exist, or the number of people that attend the standard of greatness, I am the problem! The only reason the church exists is Jesus the Lord. Period, hard stop.
The only good that I offer the world is because of Jesus. The message the church offers, remembering that I am the church and you are the church, is Jesus, born to a virgin mother, living sinlessly, radically transforming the world. He disrupted the norms of the day, challenged the thinking of the wise, welcomed the poor and the humble, and showed disdain for only one group – the most religious people of the day. OUCH!
For all of the arguments around theology, fundamentalists, charismatics, reformed, and denominations, the one test of authentic theology is found in this dude on a criminal’s cross next to Jesus, who simply believed. No room for church membership, tithing, worship songs, praise music, or comfy chairs. He didn’t even have a projector with cool-looking slides, for goodness sake. He simply believed.
Luke 23:39-43 (NLT)
One of the criminals hanging beside him scoffed, “So you’re the Messiah, are you? Prove it by saving yourself-and us, too, while you’re at it!” [40] But the other criminal protested, “Don’t you fear God even when you have been sentenced to die? [41] We deserve to die for our crimes, but this man hasn’t done anything wrong.” [42] Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” [43] And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
If this challenges your theology, welcome to the humbled group of Jesus Followers I belong to. A group too easily swayed by the shiny preacher in sneakers, the hip worship leader in a cool hat, or the church with the really cool building that feels like a resort when you arrive.
Please don’t get me wrong. I agree with the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 9:22-23, where he states,
“When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. [23] I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings.”
But when the style becomes the theology, or the orthodoxy becomes the god, we need the reminder of the theology discovered on the cross with Jesus stating the beautiful words, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.”
As we prepare for Holy Week, millions of us will flock to the beach for Spring Break. May we remember that the same love shared with that thief is available today. Let our theology be that of the interaction with Jesus and the thief-dude. Believe and receive the love of the one that you cannot make not love you.
Go in Peace, Chuck
Going To Church Can Help Improve Your Emotional Health
In a world of constant stress and worry, it can be easy to forget the importance of taking time for yourself. Attending church services can be a great way to take a break from your daily routine and invest in your emotional health. Read on to find out how going to church can help improve your mental well-being.
What is the Relationship Between Going to Church and Emotional Health?
Multiple studies suggest a positive correlation between faith, worship involvement, and mental health. For example, one study found that people who attend church regularly are less likely to experience depression.
Another study found that people who attend church are more likely to report a far higher degree of satisfaction with their lives. Additionally, church attendance has been linked with lower rates of suicide, substance abuse, and divorce.
So, what is the relationship between going to church and emotional health? It seems that there is a positive correlation between the two. Church provides a supportive community for its members and helps them develop a stronger sense of purpose. Additionally, the act of attending church can help to reduce stress levels and promote positive mental health.
There are Huge Benefits of Going to Church
There are many benefits to going to church, including improving your emotional health. Church engagement will help you connect with a community of like-minded people who can offer support and encouragement. Additionally, participating in church activities can help you reduce stress and anxiety and boost your mood. By the way, it helps if you discover a church that can encourage you along the journey.
Studies have shown that church involvement is associated with better mental health outcomes. For example, one study found that religious involvement was associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety. Research has shown that religious involvement is linked to increased self-esteem and life satisfaction. Again, it helps if you discover a church that doesn’t bore you to sleep as well.
If you’re struggling with mental health, consider attending a church service or joining a faith-based community. Doing so could help you find the support and guidance you need to improve your emotional well-being. Attending a healthy church can significantly impact your social well-being as well.
When it comes to improving your emotional health, going to church can significantly help. For one thing, church can provide you with a supportive community. This can be especially helpful if you’re going through a tough time in your life. Knowing that people care about you and want to help you can make a big difference.
In addition, church attendance can offer you guidance and wisdom. If you’re struggling with a decision or feeling lost, talking to a pastor or counselor at church can help you find your way. They can offer advice and support that can help you improve your emotional health. Be sure to seek out a bible-based, grace-filled church. They are out there, I promise!
Finally, attending church can help you develop a positive outlook on life. Hearing inspiring messages and singing uplifting songs can remind you of the good things in life and help you focus on the future rather than dwelling on the past. Having a positive outlook makes it easier to cope with stress and challenges. Did you know singing can change your mood and outlook in just a minute?
When stressed, our first instinct is to reach out to friends and family members for support. However, sometimes we may not have anyone to turn to or feel our problems are too small to bother them. This is where a church can come in handy. Not every church is a closed community. Many churches can’t wait for you to engage with them and them with you.
Being a part of a church community can help reduce stress in a few ways. First, it can provide a support network of people who are always there for you, no matter what. Secondly, churches typically have many different programs and services that can help you deal with whatever is causing your stress. And finally, simply attending church services and participating in religious activities can help you find peace and calm in your life.
When you go to church, you are surrounded by a supportive community. In addition, attending church can help improve your mental well-being by allowing you to reflect on your life and find meaning and purpose. Doing so can help reduce stress and anxiety and promote positive thinking and emotional health. When looking for a church that can provide these things, recognize how “welcome home” they make you feel once you walk into the building.
The Bible also encourages us by teaching that we should not forsake gathering together for worship segments of our faith lives. So, as I close, we can see, once again, that faith and science agree that attending a healthy church regularly is good for you, your soul, and your emotional well-being. Go to church this week!
Go In Peace, Chuck
Unlocking The Power Of Prayer: How It Can Enhance Your Child’s Mental Health
Prayer can be a powerful tool in helping improve children’s mental health. I want to explore how parents can use prayer to help children cope with life’s struggles and some of the benefits that come with it. Find out how you can unlock the power of prayer and use it to enhance your child’s mental health!
When you pray with and for your child, you open up a communication channel between you, your precious children, and the Creator of the Universe.
This connection can give your child (children) strength, hope, and greater inner peace. Having parented six daughters and now having seven grandchildren, I can confidently say that providing kids with a more profound sense of peace is a critical part of parenting!
Prayer can also help your kids develop a positive outlook on life. You teach them to rely on God for help and guidance as you pray for them. This dependency can lead to a greater sense of purpose and satisfaction in life. Every parent wants this for their kids. That is a great reason to become a prayer warrior! Children that see life through a half-full lens will have a far greater capacity to change the world as opposed to adapting to the world.
In addition, prayer can help reduce stress and anxiety in your kids. As you lift up your concerns to God, He will provide comfort and peace. This will allow your child to focus on the positive aspects of their life and find hope in difficult situations. Again, every kid needs this, and it is available to every parent!
What is the Power of Prayer?
Prayer is a powerful tool that can be used to enhance your
child’s mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
Prayer can also help to create a sense of community and support for your child. As you pray with and for your child, you invite others to do the same. This can create a loving support network to help your kids Children’sunded by love and care.
Prayer is also a way of connecting with your child on a deeper level. As you pray for your child, you send them love and light from the Divine. This can help to strengthen the bond between you and your family and promote healing in their life.
Benefits of Prayer for Children’s Mental Health
There are plenty of benefits of prayer for children’s mental health. Prayer can help children to develop a positive outlook on life, feel closer to God, and cope with difficult situations. Prayer can also help children to develop self-control and to be more patient. Additionally, prayer can help children to become more grateful and humble. One of the most extraordinary things you can give your child is the gift of gratitude. When we raise grateful children, we will see them develop into generous adults!
How to Introduce Prayer to Your Child
Like most parents, you want your child to grow up happy and healthy. And one of the best ways to help them do that is to introduce them to prayer. But it would help if you led the way. It all starts with YOUR MINDSET!
Here are some tips for introducing prayer to your child:
- Talk about why you pray. Explain to your child that prayer is a way to talk to God. Tell them it’s okay if they don’t understand everything about it, but that it’s important to you and something you enjoy doing. Don’t feel like you have to explain everything about God. Take the opposite approach and just be honest. Tell them that there are many things we will never be able to understand about God.
- Start slow. Don’t force your kids into long prayers or complicated concepts immediately. Keep it simple at first, and let them grow into prayer at their own pace.
- Encourage questions. Invite your child to ask you anything they want about prayer or faith. Be open and honest and encourage their curiosity. The key is to let them see you being curious and learning as well.
- Help them find their own way. There’s no one right way to pray, so encourage your child to find what works for them. Whether sitting quietly, kneeling, or using words or songs, let them explore and find what brings them comfort and peace. The Lord of all desires His kids to come to Him in honesty. Let your child’s vulnerability be present as they see yours.
- Pray together occasionally. You don’t have to pray together all the time. Don’t make prayer a rule, but rather a way of life.
Tips for Incorporating Prayer into Everyday Life
One of the best ways to incorporate prayer into your child’s life is to make it a part of your daily routine. For example, you can pray together before meals, bedtime, or even during the day when something special happens.
Prayer can also be incorporated into other aspects of your child’s life, such as schoolwork or extracurricular activities. For example, you can help them remember to pray before taking a test or participating in a sporting event. Also, teaching your child how to say grace before meals is another great way to help them learn how to incorporate prayer into their everyday lives.
I am often asked about the prayers like “God is great, God is good…” There is nothing wrong with those prayers because prayer is a matter of the heart. There is something wrong with remaining in that prayer when your heart can convey more than rote memorization to the God we are speaking with.
Common Challenges When Teaching Prayer to Children
One of the most common challenges when teaching prayer to children is getting them to actually pray. This can be a difficult task, especially if they are not used to praying or if they are resistant to it. Keep prayer in front of your children, in your life!
Another challenge is getting children to understand the concept of prayer. They may not fully grasp what it means to pray or why it is important. Combat that by talking about God. Awareness is typically part of consistent learning and experiencing.
Finally, another challenge when teaching children prayer is helping them find the time and space to pray. With busy schedules and so many distractions, it can be challenging for kids to find the time and space to truly focus on prayer.
Prayer is a powerful tool for enhancing mental health, especially in children. It can help them build resilience, increase self-esteem, and learn ways to cope with stress. When used regularly as part of a support system, prayer can be an invaluable resource that gives your child the strength they need to face whatever life throws their way. So if you’re looking for ways to help your child develop emotional intelligence and resilience, consider unlocking the power of prayer today!