Three Simple Steps to a Better Marriage, by AChuckAllen
I’ve been married twice. Once for 25 years and again for 13 years. Over the collective 38 years I’ve learned three things that can improve and strengthen every single marriage. After my first wife passed away in 2005, I was determined that I would be single and travel to every NFL stadium and every MLB stadium and settle down in a quiet little town in Southwest Florida. Two years later, I fell in love and asked Jenny and her four girls to marry me an my two girls. 13 years later, I’m happy, healthy and almost to the end of college tuition for 6 daughters. Just praise the Lord!
In the 38 years of marriage I’ve learned these three very simple elements that will benefit every marriage, at any stage. Here you go:
Be kind and be gracious with your spouse.
Never stop using words of gratitude and grace. Speaking kindly and use words of affirmation and value. Determine to be more gracious with your spouse than you would any dignitary you were trying to impress at a party. Your spouse knows when you are breaking out your finest fake graciousness. Keep it real and keep it consistent. Here are four phrases that remain powerfully poignant in every marriage.
I love you every single day and cannot wait to see you tonight
I’m so sorry. I would never want to hurt you. Please forgive me.
Thank you. I am so glad we are us.
I prayed for you today. Thank you for being my sweetheart.
Keep talking about the things that matter.
BUT! Keep listening to what is being said as urgently as you speak. Never rob your spouse of their voice. We all need conversation and we all grow together as we chat and converse about what each other thinks about any number of topics. Jenny and I talk about everything and disagree and some things. But she makes me a better thinker. She has made me a better speaker. And, she has made me a better listener.
Allow your spouse to be your number one encourager, critic and accountability partner.
When you build trust in your marriage, you will find that you can encourage each other easily. Use words of truthful affirmation, like; You look great. You do so much for us, thank you. When trust is strengthen you can also encourage your spouse by making them better by speaking truth into their life, like; You are such a wonderful influence on our family, but when you lose it, the kids and I see the less than the wonderful you. And, when you allow your spouse to be your number one accountability partner, trust and contentment are a hand and glove experience. Share every password, every calendar, every account and your every moment with your spouse and truth will not only make your life more peace-filled, but it will literally build a force-field around you that will protect your peace when circumstances want to destroy it.
Thank you for joining me on today’s article. I’d love for you to join me each weekday for five minutes of PEACE, POWER & DIRECTION on my Weekday Meditation. Just five minutes each day and five days each week. A simple, guided, prayerful meditation designed for busy, thoughtful folks, desiring God to show up in their daily lives.