Achuckallen

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If it Makes You Happy

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Sheryl Crow had a hit song several years ago, “If it Makes You Happy” and the lyrics in the chorus are “If it makes you happy, It can’t be that bad. If it makes you happy, Then why the hell are you so sad?” Sheryl is an amazing artist but apparently a not so amazing theologian. She was sharp enough to get out of the Lance Armstrong mess for sure. And I still like to roll down the windows and sing that perfect summer song. 
One of the early church fathers, Augustine of Hippo (come on, that’s funny), summarized the Christian life in simple terms and Martin Luther later echoed him. Let me paraphrase; “Love God and do as you please.”
That sounds so stinking radical to a recovering fundamentalist like me. But if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. If we truly love God, what we will do is what He will want us to do. It’s not a cute take or a slight tweak, it’s a fact. When we love God, we will follow His direction. 

Maybe the best way to see this is in John’s Gospel. For years I would read John 14:15 and think to myself “Jesus is scolding me when He says “if you love me, you will keep my commandments”. Now I realize that in the 14th chapter of John, He makes many huge promises, and this is one more HUGE promise. It isn’t a scolding, it’s a loving promise. “If you love me, of course you’ll obey me”!

Jesus is simply stating that if we truly love Him, we will live like it. Which makes me think Sheryl Crow may be accurately portraying the vast majority of Americans. Doing what we want, miserably unhappy and woefully discontent. Why? Because we missed the whole “if you love me thing”. You see, we didn’t get the benefit of the “do the right thing”, because we didn’t get the because “we love Him thing”.
On our own we are so far gone that we can do nothing more than be a recipient of His grace. And through His grace He has set us free to love Him just as we are, to love others just for who they are, and to even love ourselves as He has created us. I bet I’ve heard 100 preachers make a statement like “God didn’t call us to be happy, He called us to be holy.” Wow, that’s a motivator! I think He called me to love Him and in that, obey Him and in obedience to Him; experience joy, and in that joy – HAPPINESS!
So let’s rewrite Sheryl Crow’s song; “If it makes you happy, it must be Jesus”
Pretty Cool, huh?

Sheryl Crowe singing “If it Makes you Happy”

–Peace, Chuck

Pokemon Downward Dog

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poke

It was Tuesday night and time for me to walk our “exceptionally special dog”, Cooper. If you’ve heard me talk about Cooper before, you know that he is just a big goofball. But, he’s our goofball and we walk every night before calling it a day.

Tuesday at 11:08pm, Cooper and I start out on our journey to Lillian Webb Park when suddenly we are surrounded by Pokemon hunters and trainers. Their steely gaze intently focused on the smartphone screens as the rustling leaves were revealing the elusive Pokies. I’ve noticed that the look on each Poke hunter is a combo of really poor posture and everybody’s favorite yoga pose…DOWNWARD DOG.

It would seem to me that we left any concerns of spending personal and meaningful time with other humans on the top shelf gathering dust. Man, these folks were getting after those weird little Pokies. Next time you are stopped at a traffic light, just look around you and gaze at the wonderment of iPhone narcissism. You know, selfie then post, then check the likes on FB, Snapchat, Twitter and Instagram. Oh…and then the blissful sound of the guy behind you that is waiting not so patiently on you to complete your social fix and get on about life. He’s blessing you with a “you’re number 1 salute” and a heavy other hand on the horn.

As a member of this tribe, I want to join me in an effort to set the smartphone, tablet and laptop down and talk on the front porch. To sit together and play a game of cards together. But let’s don’t get crazy and do something like take a walk without bluetooth headphones and our trusty Fitbit!

Before you start thinking that i’m not one of you…Let me admit that I’m guilty. I also might need to attend a 12 step group to lose my addiction to technology.

I guess, what I’m really saying is this: If people really matter to us, and family really is our safe haven, then it’s time to stop and turn the devices off. It’s past time to look our families in the eye and talk…I mean, really talk. I think the world would be a far better place. I know that I would be a better husband, dad and pastor. Whoa! Did I just say/write that out loud?

Come on, people…We can do this! Dinner with all devices face down and no vibrating reminders that your BFF just sent you their 17th selfie today via Insta.

I’m Sorry, So Sorry

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The most powerful words in the English language have to be “I’m Sorry.” I’m confident in that statement, only because I have lived on both sides of that aisle. I’ve been too self-centered to recognize my mistakes, or too proud to admit my mistakes, and occasionally too broken to not say those words. The latter being the most vulnerable and powerful times of my life in leadership.

It’s been estimated that about 87% of our life and leadership challenges occur within the borders of our interpersonal relationships. That means that it is impossible to always be the victim or to be the victor. We are flawed people living in a flawed land, living lives that require us to be more cognoscent of our present mistakes. In a world filled with social media, cameras capturing everything we say and do, and the ability to fact check everything we say…well, let’s just say that there is plenty of room for a few more “I’m Sorry” admissions.

Brenda Lee put it this way in her hit “I’m Sorry”: I’m sorry, so sorry You tell me mistakes. Are part of being young. But that don’t right the wrong that’s been done. I’m sorry. So sorry. Please accept my apology. but love is blind. And I was too blind to see. I’m sorry…so sorry.

I’ve watched how presidential candidate Donald Trump has so poorly handled the Khan family and their statements at the Democratic National Convention. To not have the ability to control his tongue as he responded to Captain Khan’s grieving parents seems so irrational…and it is!

But I’m not here to speak to Donald Trump’s flawed perspective regarding the Khan family. I’m here to remind us all that fighting to prove you’re right might be proving that you are not right al all! To lash out at Mr. Trump is far too easy. To look in the mirror and not see that I too have handled a few things poorly as well is a far more difficult task. When you are leading anything…family, church, business, relationships, teams, or anything else, you will handle a few relationships poorly. I seem to have mastered the art of responding poorly.

Maybe we should grasp the significance of the following words before we start shouting back or responding in defensiveness…”Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 28:20 Or maybe we could hang on to these words…”But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” Colossians 3:8 

As for me and my mouth, I must refresh my soul with the heartfelt statement, I’m Sorry far more often than I would like to believe. How about you?

Anybody can find fault with how we respond and react, but why be an anybody?

Fox News Anchor Dana Perino: http://insider.foxnews.com/2016/08/01/perino-slams-trump-over-khan-controversy-hes-wrecking-ball-his-own-campaign

Brenda Lee, I’m Sorry: https://youtu.be/BGLR25EJtfE 

The Art of Gratitude

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I’m not sure when or how it happened. But I am most confident that it did indeed happen. Americans lost the art of being a gracious and grateful people. In our white hat hero culture, we started believing that life was better if we spent our days proving that we were number 1.

Don’t get me wrong. I too have spent years with that desire. In business I wanted to be wealthy and was passionately attempting to be the model of a “self-made-man.” When I entered the ministry world, I did the same thing. I wasn’t seeking wealth at that point. I was seeking something far more heady and allusive. I was seeking to be wild successful as a speaker, writer and be recognized as a guy that could “make it happen.” I lead churches and organizations with a ruthless, dogmatic, CEO leadership style and in some narcissistic way, I justified my self-serving actions.

After the death of my wife, my mom, my dad, marrying Jenny and blending six daughters, then losing everything we owned trying to hang on in the global financial crisis, God had finally gotten my attention. I’m really sorry that you lost 50% of your retirement portfolio just so I would hear the voice of God – my bad!

After shallow dreams were shattered and a significant dose of humility forced upon me, I began what would become the most joy-filled days of my life. I promised myself and felt compelled to promise God that I would never be a pastor…never!

Well, through all of the hurt, loss and heartache something life-altering started developing within me.I was allowed the privilege to be the Lead Pastor at Sugar Hill Church. The one thing that I promised I would never do, I did. AND I WAS SO GRATEFUL!

In that gratitude, I discovered something that changed the trajectory of my life. I discovered the secret sauce to life! Being grateful for what I had and grateful for health and freedom, family and ministry started changing the outcomes of my days. Gratitude instigated kindness in my life. Who knew that being gracious and grateful would lead to the greatest commodities of my life…PEACE and FREEDOM? Well Paul knew when he penned these words; “I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.”

Please do not hear me assume that I have arrived. I have simply become contented with the peace and freedom that accompanies a life filled with gratitude. It would appear that America could use a healthy dose of the church acting in gracious gratitude. I know how it has radically changed my life and I’m confident it will “make America great again.”

Ponder on this quote from Melody Beattie; “Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” 

 

Just STOP IT!

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Like many of you, I’ve been watching the circus we know as the 2016 Presidential race. My Dad was a politician prior to answering God’s Call to serve the local church.But that was a different day…Or was it?

We  often hear about returning to the good old days. But were they really the good old days? Dad was a Republican State Senator and the Chair of the Republican Party in the small state of Rhode Island. In 1968 I watched my Dad cast the Rhode Island delegates to Richard Nixon. Well, the rest is history. Nixon was a pretty good president when it came to foreign policy, but then there was that little Watergate scandal that cost him the highest office in the land.  I can recall America in the late 60’s and early 70’s filled with racism, chaos and hatred.

Sound familiar? Just look at the 2016 version of the same division of race, chaos and hatred. My point is that screaming insults and protesting with great bigotry, violence and hatred hasn’t served us very well in the 4 decades of American politics. Just Stop It!

If we want the same America 40 years from today, keep at it. Shout, scream, hurl personal attacks of race, color, religion and hatred and we can remain the land of the free with hearts full of rage.

The old adage is true, “nothing changes, until something changes”. To remain entrenched with the likes of slanderous accusations, personal attacks and bigoted retorts is simply inviting the same results that we have had in the past 40 years.

The media, either leaning to the right or the left isn’t to blame. We are! If we allow the emotions of preference, attitude and ignorance to saturate our social media posts or control our fears and insecurities as we interact with the real world, we are simply gas being thrown on the raging fire. What if we were to stop the insanity and start committing our lives to a little self reflection? And in that reflection, start with making ourselves a better American. Jesus had a cure for that. He was clear. “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?

Speck Meet Log. If you want a better America, we have to start with a better Me and a better You! Before we find whats wrong with everybody else, let’s recognize and repair ourselves.

Bob Newhart had a special way of dealing with this problem.
Just watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arPCE3zDRg4 

Have the Best Monday!
–Chuck