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I am now 56 years old. Unbelievable, 56 years old. Just yesterday I was the overachieving new kid on the block. Now I’m the guy with six daughters, salt-n-pepper hair, five grandchildren and wisdom lines around my now droopy eyelids.

I’ve discovered in, what I loosely refer to as “midlife,” that I am more irritable than I used to be. I am less tolerant and yet I find myself at times more, dare I say it, socially liberal than days gone by.

Okay, I just lost 50% of my Baptist friends. I don’t mean theologically. I mean socially. I’m frustrated that we care more about a Hillary’s emails than Haiti’s starvation, are more passionate about college football than homeless people and more caring of our pets than we are of single parents or widows.

And then I realize that I am the problem! I have become like far too many Americans. Comfortable in my irritability of my own comfort. Like all irritable people, I am often hard to love and have a hard time loving others. My attention is often consumed by being aware and driven by my circumstances. I find myself in a constant state of agitation, frustration and disenchantment by what is happening outside of my control.

I feel heavy, burdened, stressed and weary. I don’t like being that way and hate admitting it to you. It makes me feel like the spoiled brat I probably am. When life doesn’t go my way, which seems to be often, I get fearful and it displays itself as irritable. My gray hair and wrinkles also reflect some good news in that I now recognize that God invites me to abandon all those fears and irritability – He invites me to leave my self and come to Him for rest in Matthew 11:28.

Jenny and I are often drawn back to The Message and Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of Matthew 11:28 – “get away with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

I can now leave my fears, my irritability, my frustration and my foolish self with Him because He promised that He came that I might have an abundant life in John 10:10. Not a life filled with fear, pain and irritability. He set me on a path completely free from the dependence of circumstances for my joy.

I now can bank on each day being filled with more joy and less irritability because of Him. That’s very cool. That is also a reminder that I am to redirect the personal energy that was once directed toward irritability and fear and direct it toward caring for others with a passionate heart of service and love for those that might be the most unlikely recipients of God’s love working through me.

I am often reminded that God will allow my life to cross paths with a need that He desires me to meet and that I missed that blessing for decades in my irritable selfishness.

May your day be filled with the blessed crossing of paths with those that you and you alone can bless. That is the “Rhythm of Grace”… God using us to fulfill His  redemptive plan for this lost and broken world. 

Thanks for joining me this first week of my Weekday BLOG!

It was Tuesday night and time for me to walk our “exceptionally special dog”, Cooper. If you’ve heard me talk about Cooper before, you know that he is just a big goofball. But, he’s our goofball and we walk every night before calling it a day.

Tuesday at 11:08pm, Cooper and I start out on our journey to Lillian Webb Park when suddenly we are surrounded by Pokemon hunters and trainers. Their steely gaze intently focused on the smartphone screens as the rustling leaves were revealing the elusive Pokies. I’ve noticed that the look on each Poke hunter is a combo of really poor posture and everybody’s favorite yoga pose…DOWNWARD DOG.

It would seem to me that we left any concerns of spending personal and meaningful time with other humans on the top shelf gathering dust. Man, these folks were getting after those weird little Pokies. Next time you are stopped at a traffic light, just look around you and gaze at the wonderment of iPhone narcissism. You know, selfie then post, then check the likes on FB, Snapchat, Twitter and Instagram. Oh…and then the blissful sound of the guy behind you that is waiting not so patiently on you to complete your social fix and get on about life. He’s blessing you with a “you’re number 1 salute” and a heavy other hand on the horn.

As a member of this tribe, I want to join me in an effort to set the smartphone, tablet and laptop down and talk on the front porch. To sit together and play a game of cards together. But let’s don’t get crazy and do something like take a walk without bluetooth headphones and our trusty Fitbit!

Before you start thinking that i’m not one of you…Let me admit that I’m guilty. I also might need to attend a 12 step group to lose my addiction to technology.

I guess, what I’m really saying is this: If people really matter to us, and family really is our safe haven, then it’s time to stop and turn the devices off. It’s past time to look our families in the eye and talk…I mean, really talk. I think the world would be a far better place. I know that I would be a better husband, dad and pastor. Whoa! Did I just say/write that out loud?

Come on, people…We can do this! Dinner with all devices face down and no vibrating reminders that your BFF just sent you their 17th selfie today via Insta.

The most powerful words in the English language have to be “I’m Sorry.” I’m confident in that statement, only because I have lived on both sides of that aisle. I’ve been too self-centered to recognize my mistakes, or too proud to admit my mistakes, and occasionally too broken to not say those words. The latter being the most vulnerable and powerful times of my life in leadership.

It’s been estimated that about 87% of our life and leadership challenges occur within the borders of our interpersonal relationships. That means that it is impossible to always be the victim or to be the victor. We are flawed people living in a flawed land, living lives that require us to be more cognoscent of our present mistakes. In a world filled with social media, cameras capturing everything we say and do, and the ability to fact check everything we say…well, let’s just say that there is plenty of room for a few more “I’m Sorry” admissions.

Brenda Lee put it this way in her hit “I’m Sorry”: I’m sorry, so sorry You tell me mistakes. Are part of being young. But that don’t right the wrong that’s been done. I’m sorry. So sorry. Please accept my apology. but love is blind. And I was too blind to see. I’m sorry…so sorry.

I’ve watched how presidential candidate Donald Trump has so poorly handled the Khan family and their statements at the Democratic National Convention. To not have the ability to control his tongue as he responded to Captain Khan’s grieving parents seems so irrational…and it is!

But I’m not here to speak to Donald Trump’s flawed perspective regarding the Khan family. I’m here to remind us all that fighting to prove you’re right might be proving that you are not right al all! To lash out at Mr. Trump is far too easy. To look in the mirror and not see that I too have handled a few things poorly as well is a far more difficult task. When you are leading anything…family, church, business, relationships, teams, or anything else, you will handle a few relationships poorly. I seem to have mastered the art of responding poorly.

Maybe we should grasp the significance of the following words before we start shouting back or responding in defensiveness…”Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Proverbs 28:20 Or maybe we could hang on to these words…”But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” Colossians 3:8 

As for me and my mouth, I must refresh my soul with the heartfelt statement, I’m Sorry far more often than I would like to believe. How about you?

Anybody can find fault with how we respond and react, but why be an anybody?

Fox News Anchor Dana Perino: http://insider.foxnews.com/2016/08/01/perino-slams-trump-over-khan-controversy-hes-wrecking-ball-his-own-campaign

Brenda Lee, I’m Sorry: https://youtu.be/BGLR25EJtfE 

Like many of you, I’ve been watching the circus we know as the 2016 Presidential race. My Dad was a politician prior to answering God’s Call to serve the local church.But that was a different day…Or was it?

We  often hear about returning to the good old days. But were they really the good old days? Dad was a Republican State Senator and the Chair of the Republican Party in the small state of Rhode Island. In 1968 I watched my Dad cast the Rhode Island delegates to Richard Nixon. Well, the rest is history. Nixon was a pretty good president when it came to foreign policy, but then there was that little Watergate scandal that cost him the highest office in the land.  I can recall America in the late 60’s and early 70’s filled with racism, chaos and hatred.

Sound familiar? Just look at the 2016 version of the same division of race, chaos and hatred. My point is that screaming insults and protesting with great bigotry, violence and hatred hasn’t served us very well in the 4 decades of American politics. Just Stop It!

If we want the same America 40 years from today, keep at it. Shout, scream, hurl personal attacks of race, color, religion and hatred and we can remain the land of the free with hearts full of rage.

The old adage is true, “nothing changes, until something changes”. To remain entrenched with the likes of slanderous accusations, personal attacks and bigoted retorts is simply inviting the same results that we have had in the past 40 years.

The media, either leaning to the right or the left isn’t to blame. We are! If we allow the emotions of preference, attitude and ignorance to saturate our social media posts or control our fears and insecurities as we interact with the real world, we are simply gas being thrown on the raging fire. What if we were to stop the insanity and start committing our lives to a little self reflection? And in that reflection, start with making ourselves a better American. Jesus had a cure for that. He was clear. “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?

Speck Meet Log. If you want a better America, we have to start with a better Me and a better You! Before we find whats wrong with everybody else, let’s recognize and repair ourselves.

Bob Newhart had a special way of dealing with this problem.
Just watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arPCE3zDRg4 

Have the Best Monday!
–Chuck