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Now and then I hear a new song and play it over and over and over. I’m talking about the kind of song that you roll the windows down on the first day that you feel the weather turning toward fall, and you just crank it up, you sing like a fool and air drum with the music. After the fourth play, you almost have the lyrics right, but that doesn’t matter. You are singing your guts out and don’t care that the kids in the minivan next to you are laughing their guts out.

The latest song that has me all air drum fired up is Crowder’s “Run Devil Run.” It’s like swamp, swamp, swamp, swamp music (old Lynyrd Skynyrd reference) meets Jesus music. It like classic southern rock and roll married the Baptist Hymnal. Okay, that’s a little creepy!

Here is a link to the music video: RUN DEVIL RUN

On this Wednesday Morning, find your song and crank it up! I am confident that when we celebrate the day that The Divine has given us, we will find our way to success. Success is a destination that can only be achieved through gratitude, and celebration. If you don’t exit the autobahn of your week to fill up on gratitude and celebration, you’ll blow right past peace, joy, fulfilment and success.  Maybe this Crowder song is for you. Maybe you like a more mainstream music, or traditional music. That’s cool, but celebrate something that makes you wanna do the freaky-deeky as my friend Frankie Astor calls it!

The music isn’t the issue here. The issue is to be fully present in your daily journey, to the degree that you can be content with what you have and celebrate the life you’ve been given. Music has the power to put your soul in a celebratory mode. When you feed your soul some gratitude and celebration, the day just gets better.

I get it! You are probably saying something like, “Chuck you have no idea how bad things are.” You’re probably right. That’s the point! You do and your Creator does, so just find your groove thing and crank it up.

Being a “grown up” twenty-four hours a day can drive you off a cliff. Course correct today and join the Crank it Up Club! I promise you that you’ll feel better.

Here’s the daily progression. 1) find your tune. 2) listen to it at the decibel level that is comfortable to you. 3) listen to it again, a bit louder. 4) if you are at home, move a little bit to the music. If you’re in your vehicle, play a little air-drum on the steering wheel. You can take it from there.

If you need something to celebrate, here are two questions.

1. Are you breathing? Crank it Up!
2. Do you want to have a better day? Crank it Up!

The Scriptures are filled with directives to dance, sing, celebrate and let loose.
Go ahead, CRANK IT UP!

—Chuck

I watch Hector Cervantes, our Worship Pastor fiddle and piddle on the set of foot peddles where he picks and grins (I love that guy). As it turns out, guitars sound good because of stress. Apparently, guitarists know how to turn the tuning pegs just enough that all six strings are in harmony with one another and on key. But too much stress, too much tension, those strings can stretch or break. The things I learn when hanging around Hector are usually deeply spiritual. To a guitarist, this probably is deeply spiritual.

Just like Hector’s guitar, Freddie Cross’s or Brad Paisley’s guitar, every family experiences stress and tension. You cannot avoid it! It’s possible to experience peace together even in the middle of tension. An overdose of stress can cause us to snap and lose our harmony. I see it in countless families searching for love in all the wrong places.

Families are stretched to the max with stress today. It results from financial hardship, the rat race at work, global and cultural events, high educational standards, peer pressure, and the list could go on and on and on.

I know that home ought to be a little like a Caribbean island – a safe place that feels like a haven from the war-torn challenges of everyday life.  The Bible gives us some simple wisdom about some valuable practices for peaceful homes.

Learn to Laugh – A Lot

Proverbs 15:13 says, “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit..”  Laughter is like the secret sauce. It’s just a total game changer. When families laugh together, they can withstand the onslaught of garbage that each family member experiences in their sphere of relationships. Laughing together as a family is highly therapeutic. And it doesn’t take a lot of effort to find things to laugh about. We love to tell stories. Happy stories and funny stories. We always try to ask what was funny in your day. Learn to laugh, even on tough days.

Be Grateful and Contented

It;s not easy to “keep up with the Jones’.” Families are crashing and burning today in the rubble of financial disaster because of consumer debt, stress and pressure. We seem never to have enough, and then we seem to be driven by the reality that we are not grateful for what we have. As a result, we teach our families that you have to meet some unattainable level of stuff collection. But Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 6:6-8, “Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. ⁷ After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. ⁸ So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content..”

The word “enough” is a good word to draw out of our vocabulary on a regular basis to remind ourselves of the difference between wants and needs. It’s possible to have enough toys, enough food, or enough gadgets, and when we determine to be grateful for what we have, we will then see that we have enough.

Deal with Anger and Conflict

Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them..” Anger is a normal human emotion. It’s all about what we decide to do with our anger that matters. That is right with conflict as well. We all have hot buttons that drive us to anger, and we all know that conflict exists with or without talking about anything. When we stuff our feelings inside and leak or explode later, nobody wins. The better solution is developing the practice of giving soft answers to one another. Here is a great rule of thumb; Focus your heart and words on making things right, not proving you are right.

A great verse for families to learn together, and live together is Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare..”  Imagine the change you’d see in your home if everyone’s first response was wrapped in kindness. This is worth making the effort to attain.

Seek and Live in Wisdom

Every family needs wisdom, and wisdom is easily accessible. God isn’t withholding His wisdom from you or your family. To walk in wisdom, your family needs to walk together. Your family is a team, and everybody has a position to play. It’s not the parents against the kids, it’s the family becoming all that God intended together, as a team.

Hey, parents, God has given you authority within the home, not so that you can take the place of God in your children’s lives, but so that you can be His steward with the little gifts that He has given you. God has given you the wisdom to guide them. And He will give you more! Proverbs 15:24 says, “The path of life leads upward for the prudent to keep them from going down to the realm of the dead..”

Be Grateful and Express Gratitude

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus..”  If you want one big take away from this BLOG – Take this! 
There is unbelievable power in praying about tension and expressing thanks. There is a direct link between gratitude and happiness, and often when we struggle to find happiness, gratitude is the answer.

To make your home a haven in the midst of a hectic, disturbing world, try being intentional about discovering truth together, laughing together, and encouraging each other.

God knows we need peaceful homes more than ever, and you can do this.

—Chuck

It’s Monday!
You know what that means? A fresh workweek. A new start to better habits and better living. It’s your weekly opportunity to instill fresh thoughts and rid yourself of poor attitudes. It’s time to infuse your life with some”yes I can’s'” and lay down some ‘no I cant’s.”

On this Monday, let’s learn a short and powerful acrostic that can get you headed in a God direction and great day!

1. S = Scripture. Read the following Scripture and then handwrite it on something you are forced to see throughout your day. I’ll be using a page next to my prioritized task list. That way I see it dozens of times throughout my day.
   James 1:5-6 “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. ⁶ But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.”

2. O = Observation. Look at the verses you wrote out. Write 2 observations. What stands out to you? What do you learn about the character of God from these verses? Is there a promise, command or teaching? All Scripture is designed for you. God has a purpose in this text for you. It’s not hidden. It’s in plain sight. WRITE YOUR 2 OBSERVATIONS DOWN!

3. A = Application. Personalize the verses. What is God saying to you? How can you apply them to your life? Are there any changes you need to make or an action to take as you apply these two verses TODAY? If so, what are the changes? WRITE THEM DOWN!

4. K = Kneeling. This can be literal if you are in a place of quietude, but for many, it is figurative. It is designed to remind us that are to bend our knees and be in awe of the Divine. It is a reminder that He is God, and we are not. It is the “posture of prayer”. When we are in the “posture of prayer, ” we are humbled by the fact that the Divine has allowed us to enter into His presence and granted us access to His peace, power, and mercy. When we “kneel, ” we are acknowledging our need to speak with our Creator.

When we are stuck in a rut, we are being invited to grow and expand. This is my invitation for you to join me in getting out of our ruts.

I’m aware that not everybody is in a rut. But it sure seems like more people appear to reply to the question, “how are you” with answers like I’m tired, or we are just passing each other like ships in the night. I hear a lot of answers that sound more frustrated than at peace, more anxious than encouraged and more desperate than contented.

We all know that this life is not for the faint of heart. From job security to debt pains. From travel ball to aging parents. It seems that with all of the technology available to us – more than ever before, we shouldn’t be this stressed and this anxious. And yet, most of us are. The 80-hour workweek is taking a toll. Finding creative ways to manage blended families, challenging bosses, serving at church, be a loving spouse, provide for the kids. We could continue that list for days. The real question is what can we do about it? Here are four things that I would encourage you to build into your hectic life and get out of your rut.

MARGIN – Take 15 minutes and plan your week with your family (spouses & students) every Sunday night. Build into your calendar MARGIN. What I mean is, build time for your mental, physical and emotional health. Many of us have bought the lie that we can do it all without taking care of us. I’ve been working on a system that manages my calendar by my energy, not my hours. I’m most productive between 7:30a and 2:00p. In those times of energy, creativity and focus, I need to PRAY, MEDITATE, WORKOUT, GET MY INTENSIVE WORK AND STRESS-FILLED WORK DONE. After that, I need to concentrate on the day to day grind, meetings, tasks, and counseling appointments. In every hour, I now build a time to breath. That’s only about 3 minutes, but it includes the continuation on my MORNING MEDITATION. Every 2 hours, I’m trying to walk 10 minutes. Every evening I’m attempting to spend quality time with Jenny, read more, watch less television and spend less time online. MARGIN – Plan for it!
MEDITATION – Call it what you want to, but MEDITATION, for me includes a daily 5 Minute Journal (paper or app), A particular reading of Scripture, a time of prayer, and a time of focused breathing and quietude. It usually lasts about 15-20 minutes, and I find it essential as it places my soul, my emotions, my body and my mind in sync with the Divine.

If you would like to know how and what I do in my time of MEDITATION, shoot me an email and I’d love to share that with you.
PRIORITIZATION – What do you HAVE TO DO to make today a success. As Brian Tracy says in his bestselling book, “Eat that Frog,” prioritize what you have to do so, you can prioritize what you want to do. Tackle the hairiest, ugly, hard task and get them done! Then be sure to prioritize what you want to do. I try to give priority to every day with what I have to do to make today great. When I do that, I often don’t work the plan that somebody else desires for my day. When you have spent time with The Divine and built MARGIN and MEDITATION into your day, this will become so easy for you.

RELATIONSHIP – Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, we all need relationships that matter. Meaningful relationships don’t just happen; they’re cultivated. To start, make a list of existing relationships that would fit in your “closest friends” list, then a list that includes “good and helpful friends,” and then a list of healthy and “growing acquaintances.” If you think that this process seems cold and manipulative, it’s the opposite. My closest, dearest and best friend is Jenny. She gets the best of me. After her, it’s pretty easy to determine what I should do to cultivate meaningful relationships and set appropriate expectations and boundaries. Structure intentional relationship building into your life’s flow. One year from now, you will be so glad that you did.

If you are in a rut, why not give these a try.  There is no need to stay in a rut when there is so much more for you in this extraordinary life the Divine has given to you. Your Creator longs for you to reach your potential and loves to cheer for you. Make a conscious effort to build margin, meditation, prioritization and relationships into your daily routine and watch what God does in setting you free from the rut.

Remember, if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten!

You Can Do This!

—Chuck

I’ve been married a collective 34 years. I first said “I do” at age 20 (1980). At age 45 (2005) I became a widower and then married again at age 48 (2007). I think it’s safe to say that I’ve experienced some real ups and downs when it comes to marriage. I’ve had seasons that were amazing and I’ve had seasons that were difficult. I have discovered that there are several thing s that are so simple, than when incorporated into the day to day marriage, will radically improve your marriage. Don’t get all “here’s the key we’ve been looking for” on me. These are again, SIMPLE. Nonetheless, they are powerful tools to keep you on track.
1. Never stop pursuing each other. I know you’ve added a few pounds and even more wrinkles, but that’s who God picked as your best friend, sweetheart and lover for life! Get after it! When you know she loves flowers – buy em! When you know he loves steak – grill em! When you know the things your spouse loves and you move everything you can to accommodate their desires, you are actually conveying that you value them! When you convey value, you are conveying love. If movies are your deal – see em! If dinner/cocktail parties are your deal – host em! When Jenny and I married in 2007, I learned pretty quickly that she loves hosting dinners and parties in our home. For the record, I hate that and gripe about it any opportunity I get (never said I did all this well). I recall a few years ago that she committed us to a dinner party at a friends house on the night of the Super Bowl. A dinner “get together” with a few other couples – none of which cared about football. AChuck was the biggest baby about it. All the way there, I kept saying things that are not marriage builders, and certainly not pastoral (yikes). But, we have never done that again. My sweetheart sent a little value and love my way by recognizing that I’m a football junkie. She watches most games with me now! And I’ve learned to actually have friends and host dinner parties…and enjoy it! It’s not really hard. It’s about loving your spouse enough to want them to enjoy their heart’s desire above yours. When we do that, life is a lot of fun together. Just to make one more point about this value/love thing – I now attend art shows and sunflower festivals and Jenn schedules them around Georgia football. Life is good and I adore our life together!

2. Create sacred space and time. At 56, it’s pretty easy to leave for work, come home pooped and sit in front of the television with dinner. Watch a few shows and go to bed. When our routine leaves no room for meaningful discussions or opportunities to share what our lives were as we were apart, we fill what could be intimate, loving moments with mindless television or web-surfing. Commit to time without social media, email, phone calls and television. Just last night, Jenny and I sat on the front porch with a small table between us playing cards (yes, I won) and laughing at our competitive nature. We watched the cars go by, the sun go down and the fun together go up. Create sacred space each day, and create date nights weekly, if possible. If you’ve got little ones, maybe once a month. The simple fact that you have little ones says something about your sacred time together and ya’ll weren’t playing cards – WINNING!

3.  Commit to eliminate assumptions and uncertain expectations. I hear it all the time – “He should know what I mean” or “She should absolutely know that about me by now.” Here’s a news flash – THEY DON’T! Most marriages don’t fall apart because of cheating spouses (although that would appear to be the case based on my counseling schedule). They fall apart because we don’t “hear” what our spouse “says”. We hear what we hear and we say what we say, often with barbs and sarcasm so thick that whatever we say is confusing. Ladies, he might be the most wonderful husband on earth, but he doesn’t understand more than 70% of what you are telling him. Be simplistically elementary. And guys, a grunt and a nod that is a meaningful, deep conversation with your buddy doesn’t mean jack to your wife. When we actually talk with our spouses (back to sacred time) we learn so much about them…and you are to never stop learning. That’s true intimacy! If you feel hurt or wounded, speak without drama so as to be understood, not heard. And guys, when she wants to know how your day was, she’s looking for more than UUHHGGG.

I know it’s simple, but these physical actions will significantly improve your marriage, your intimacy, and your fun! Later this year, Jenny and I will be hosting a two week Group on Making Love AND Marriage at Sugar Hill Church – Don’t miss it!

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

—Chuck